People love Michael Bourn. Color me confused. I am far and away the lowest on Michael Bourn out of every ‘pert both sides of the Mississippi and Canada, unless the Mississippi runs through Canada and that’s being redundant; I have no idea. Last year, he had more plate appearances than Prince Fielder, Billy Butler and Pablo Sandoval combined (talking off the diamond plate appearances, which is obviously much higher than on the field ones for those three). Bourn’s PAs numbered 722 and he would need that to repeat his 60 steals from last year. That was the 4th highest plate appearances in the majors last year. To count on 722 plate appearances again is a horn bet. I have his projections down for 90/2/40/.280/50. That seems more than fair. If he pulls a hammy, then his value, which is all tied up in his legs like any good piece of chicken, is kaput. But we’re going to assume he does steal 50 bases and no witchcraft I do will work. So why then is Michael Bourn overrated for 2012 fantasy baseball?Please, blog, may I have some more?
I was listening to this song:
Just as I was looking at recent mocks for 2012 fantasy baseball drafts. Every time I heard the chorus, I saw Justin Verlander‘s name in the top ten. Only I didn’t hear the words. I heard… Fail! Blame it on his ADP, baby! Fail! Fail! Fail! Fail! Fail! Maybe I’m a different breed! Maybe I’m not listening! So blame it on his ADP, baby! Fail! Fail! Fail! Fail! Fail! And I wasn’t even stoned (I don’t think so, at least). When the song was over, I played Neil Diamond on repeat for 3 hours to clear my head of that song and I started thinking, am I missing something? Or s-thing, if you’re in a time crunch. Right now Verlander’s ADP is at 9 overall. He’s being drafted as high as 2 overall. I give this a little leeway because I do think some people mock draft like they would never really draft just to see what a team would look like with a pitcher in the first round. I’ll give you a hint. Your team will look terrible.Please, blog, may I have some more?
There was good dialogue in the comments on my Curtis Granderson 2012 fantasy that I wrote while lip-synching to Taylor Swift. I’ll give you the gist since your clickie finger doesn’t always work so well. I’m paraphrasing, btw. Frequent commenter, Oaktown Steve, said, “Granderson was working the shortest part of the park pretty well last year. I think there’s something to be said for knowing how to take advantage of your home yard. Might have figured it out. When I saw him this year I saw very quick hands inside, especially against left handers.” I said, “And what if pitchers work him away more in 2012 and that short porch (that he had in 2010 that he didn’t work) does nothing for him?” Then Oaktown Steve said, “Different adjustments will have to be made. He gets 100 runs and 100 RBIs with no problem in that lineup.” Then I said, “He didn’t get 100 runs and 100 RBIs in 2010 in a solid lineup.” Then Oaktown Steve said, “His 2010 September was huge and that was portending a huge 2011.” Then I said, “Then is his poor September in 2011 portending a bad 2012?” Then Oaktown Steve said, “I never used the word portending. Are you even using that word correctly?” Then I said, “I’m not sure.” Then Oaktown Steve said, “I didn’t say any of these last few statements.” Then I said, “Yeah, but I have to wrap up this conversation somehow.” Then Oaktown Steve said, “It’s a wrap!” And I said, “Now you owe Bobby Valentine a nickel.” So what can we expect of Curtis Granderson for 2012 fantasy baseball and what makes him overrated?Please, blog, may I have some more?
Okay, the truth was bound to come out. I’m really Mike Scioscia. All of that self-deprecating crap — or self-decrapacating, if you like portmanteaus — was just to throw you off the scent. Ooh, I’m a Sciosciapath! Phooey on the hullabalooey! Ooh, I hate Mike Napoli, but have “Grey” tell you he likes him. C’mon, that’s the oldest trick in the book! Even older than the ol’ banana-in-the-tailpipe. And that has “ol’” in its name! I can’t believe no one picked up on it. Me and Arte derisively laugh at you. Before I, Mike Scioscia disguised as Grey, started touting Napoli, half of you schmohawks thought his name was Michael and were only impressed with him after you saw his mom’s nipples. I’ve been seeing her nipples for the last 12 years! I’m really Mike Napoli’s father. And he’s only 12 years old. Now, where’s Jeff Mathis? I wanna play him at first and bench Pujols. So why is Mike Napoli overrated for 2012 fantasy baseball?Please, blog, may I have some more?
It seems like every year I, Albert Lang, talk smack about Mark Teixeira’s fantasy value. If you call me a Yankee hater, I’ll plead guilty every time, but I’m also a homer and Teixeira is from Maryland, my home state.Please, blog, may I have some more?