No intro today. I’m too busy eastwooding empty chairs around the house. I, too, want to scold that invisible Kenyan President for having the audacity of being born in the foreign country of Hawaii. If you need context, I’m not sure what happened the other day, but I was flipping channels and saw Clint Eastwood having a 20 minute stroke.

Please, blog, may I have some more?

Yesterday around 7:45 Eastern Time, Twitter got a little extra crazy. Jerry Crasnick of ESPN tweeted that the Mariners were close to acquiring an “impact” bat. Rumors swirled, Adam Jones jokes were passed among Orioles fans (that’s all we have), but eventually the world focused on the New York Yankees because that’s where the universe usually focuses.

Please, blog, may I have some more?

Madison Bumgarner will probably be on at least 75% of my teams this year.  In the rankings, which start this upcoming Monday, I’ve ranked him way higher than any rational person so I’m bound to have him.  You can’t even guess how high I have him.  I mean, you can, but even if you’re right I’m not going to say like how you used to guess your Christmas gifts and your mom would say, “You’ll have to wait and see,” or “Only Santa knows for sure.”  Last year, Bumgarner had an ERA of 3.21 and a K-rate of 8.40.  Those are solid numbers, but they shouldn’t get me all goose-pimply.  So what gives and what exactly can we expect of Madison Bumgarner for 2012 fantasy baseball and what makes him a keeper?

Please, blog, may I have some more?