I don’t have enough spam, give me the Razzball email newsletter!

Yesterday around 7:45 Eastern Time, Twitter got a little extra crazy. Jerry Crasnick of ESPN tweeted that the Mariners were close to acquiring an “impact” bat. Rumors swirled, Adam Jones jokes were passed among Orioles fans (that’s all we have), but eventually the world focused on the New York Yankees because that’s where the universe usually focuses.

Please, blog, may I have some more?

On Dancer!  On Prancer!  On Comet!  On–Oh, I didn’t hear you come in.  Welcome, reader!  Grab some egg nog and brandy it up to the fire.  The 2012 fantasy baseball rankings are not far away.  Right now, January Grey is throwing darts at a board to figure out where to place Matt Joyce

Please, blog, may I have some more?

Yu Darvish is on his way to the States to pitch for the Rangers.  Erik wrote a Yu Darvish 2012 fantasy post already.  To pull some quotes from that article, “Darvish was once involved in a “major scandal” in Japan, where he was caught smoking,” “He also goes by the Persian name Farid, meaning ‘glorious,’” and “He mixes in a cutter.”  He sounds like he’s in the Yakuza. 

Please, blog, may I have some more?

Baseball’s hot stove season has been largely dominated by the new-look Marlins. The last time a Miami team made such headlines in free agency, it was the controversial Miami Heat “Dream Team.” Although they did not have their own hour long ESPN special and subsequent public hatred like Lebron and his gang, the new-look Marlins have come to play.

Please, blog, may I have some more?

The Brewers signed Aramis Ramirez to a deal worth between $34-37 million.  Wouldn’t you love to make so much money that there’s a gap of three million between what you might make?  “Hey, Aramis, you got a second?”  “I was just rolling up hundred dollar bills to make kindling.”  “Just wanted to see if you’ll take a deal for somewhere between $34-37 million.”  “There’s a three million dollar gap there. 

Please, blog, may I have some more?