What time is it?! 8:25 AM! No, random italicized voice, it’s time for the 2012 Fantasy Baseball Rankings. Second guess. All the 2012 fantasy baseball rankings will live in that link. The one that reads 2012 fantasy baseball rankings. It’s also at the top of the page. No, not “Home.” To the left of the Fantasy Baseball Forum link. Now we’re cooking with gas! If you’re a completist, follow us on Twitter or Facebook. I don’t go to either site longer than 2 minutes a month, but, as I’ve told ex-girlfriends, sometimes all you need is two minutes. Hmm… Maybe that’s why they’re ex. Nah, if I were a selfish lover, I wouldn’t have a mustache. Now my expositional half insists I breakdown some generalizations about these 2012 fantasy baseball rankings. The 2012 fantasy baseball rankings will be an ever-evolving mass like the blob. This fantasy baseball top 10 for 2012 list is as of right now and could potentially change with a big injury or Miguel Cabrera breaking a tooth on his maple bat as he tries to extract hops. So while it is the 2012 fantasy baseball gospel, take it with a tablet of salt. Tomorrow we will cover the rest of the top twenty for 2012 fantasy baseball then we will go around the horn with a top 20 list for every position. Then for pitchers and outfielders, I’ll turn the dial to 80. Listed next to each player are my 2012 projections. Did I consult with whoever else does projections? It would be ignorant not to, but in the end they are my projections. Players need 10 games at a position to get included in the positional rankings. Finally, as with each list in the 2012 fantasy baseball rankings, I will be mentioning where I see tiers start and stop. I look at tiers like this, if Miguel Cabrera and Albert Pujols are in the same tier, it doesn’t matter if one guy is ranked 2nd and one guy is ranked 3rd, they’re both very close.Please, blog, may I have some more?
Yesterday around 7:45 Eastern Time, Twitter got a little extra crazy. Jerry Crasnick of ESPN tweeted that the Mariners were close to acquiring an “impact” bat. Rumors swirled, Adam Jones jokes were passed among Orioles fans (that’s all we have), but eventually the world focused on the New York Yankees because that’s where the universe usually focuses.Please, blog, may I have some more?
Madison Bumgarner will probably be on at least 75% of my teams this year. In the rankings, which start this upcoming Monday, I’ve ranked him way higher than any rational person so I’m bound to have him. You can’t even guess how high I have him. I mean, you can, but even if you’re right I’m not going to say like how you used to guess your Christmas gifts and your mom would say, “You’ll have to wait and see,” or “Only Santa knows for sure.” Last year, Bumgarner had an ERA of 3.21 and a K-rate of 8.40. Those are solid numbers, but they shouldn’t get me all goose-pimply. So what gives and what exactly can we expect of Madison Bumgarner for 2012 fantasy baseball and what makes him a keeper?Please, blog, may I have some more?
Andrew Bailey bettah work on his non-rhotic (Word of the Day!) pronunciations cause he’s headed to the town of beans. This is my town and these are my beans! Not to say I told you so, but to tell you I told you so. When Melancon went to the Sawx, I said, “The GM over in Beantown says Melancon is “capable of closing.” In big market speak, that means he won’t be the closer. Melancon is the stereotypical small market closer, big market set-up man.” Prescient ain’t just a word you need a spell checker for. It’s a state of mind! Bailey will be absolutely fine as a closer when he’s healthy, which is to say maybe 4 of 6 months of the season if the Sawx are lucky. So Melancon will get some saves, say, maybe, I don’t know, interjection, 10 saves. It’s not bad for a guy that won’t be drafted in many leagues. This also solidifies the Sawx’s intention of putting Bard into the rotation. I think it’s slightly crazy talk, but I’m wearing a burlap sack and drinking a Capri Sun without a straw so what do I know? Anyway, here’s some more offseason moves and what they mean for 2012 fantasy baseball:
Sike! Before we get into today’s post, just want to say that if you’re into fantasy basketball, you should check out the work Adam’s doing; it’s smart and funny, and I don’t know basketball at all. One time I was playing a pick up basketball game and I tried to do a layup and I threw the ball over the backboard. I was like, “Call me Calista Flockhart cause I’m throwing up shizz.” Ah, the laughs we had. Then I was never picked to play on a team again. Anyway II, some offseason moves for 2012 fantasy baseball:
Josh Reddick – Heads to the A’s on the other side of the Bailey hullabaloo. Did Beane get enough? I don’t know. Instead, let’s ask ourselves this: Did Braun test positive because he was treating herpes? In Triple-A, Reddick hit .127 in 2009, then .266 in 2010, then .230 last year. So I’d be surprised if he hits above .260 over the course of the 2012 season. He has shown the ability to hit for power, but now he moves to the unfriendly confines of Oakland. Best case scenario, you’re getting a 15/10/.260 guy. It’s all right, but if he fails to meet those modest expectations, he’s nothing but a third outfielder for AL-Only leagues. Herpes, Braun, really? That’s your defense? That’s like telling your wife you killed her cat to take your mind off cheating on her. Braun, you couldn’t say you tested positive because you were taking some non-FDA approved Chinese medicine for migraines? Who’s advising this schmohawk?Please, blog, may I have some more?
2011 was supposed to be a big year for Shin-Soo Choo — he was coming off his 2nd straight 20-20 season, his looming military service requirement to the Korean government was in the rearview mirror and he was just entering his prime age.Please, blog, may I have some more?
On Dancer! On Prancer! On Comet! On–Oh, I didn’t hear you come in. Welcome, reader! Grab some egg nog and brandy it up to the fire. The 2012 fantasy baseball rankings are not far away. Right now, January Grey is throwing darts at a board to figure out where to place Matt Joyce. Exciting! In the meantime, let’s look at the players who have multiple position eligibility for this upcoming 2012 fantasy baseball season. This took me far longer than it probably should’ve. Can’t someone write me a program that sorts all the players by games played at a position?Please, blog, may I have some more?
Yu Darvish is on his way to the States to pitch for the Rangers. Erik wrote a Yu Darvish 2012 fantasy post already. To pull some quotes from that article, “Darvish was once involved in a “major scandal” in Japan, where he was caught smoking,” “He also goes by the Persian name Farid, meaning ‘glorious,’” and “He mixes in a cutter.” He sounds like he’s in the Yakuza. I don’t want to draft Yu; I wanna hang out with him in illegal gambling halls and pick up coquettish girls. I’m gonna be honest with you (for the first time ever!) and tell you I don’t know what to make of Darvish’s Japanese numbers. Dice-K came to the States with some serious bells and whistles. In his first year, he had a 4.40 ERA. The Ks did, for lack of a better word, translate to the States early on for Dice-K and I think they will too for Yu (hey, sounds like there’s a haiku in there). His stuff looks filthy and batters will not be familiar with him at all. Last year, he had 276/36 K/BB in over 232 innings.Please, blog, may I have some more?
On this dreary snoozy December day, Walt Jocketty got his wish and made a splash for the Cincinnati Reds in the offseason. In return for four years of Mat Latos, the Reds sent the San Diego Padres Edinson Volquez, Yonder Alonso, Yasmani Grandal and Brad Boxberger.Please, blog, may I have some more?
Baseball’s hot stove season has been largely dominated by the new-look Marlins. The last time a Miami team made such headlines in free agency, it was the controversial Miami Heat “Dream Team.” Although they did not have their own hour long ESPN special and subsequent public hatred like Lebron and his gang, the new-look Marlins have come to play.Please, blog, may I have some more?
The Brewers signed Aramis Ramirez to a deal worth between $34-37 million. Wouldn’t you love to make so much money that there’s a gap of three million between what you might make? “Hey, Aramis, you got a second?” “I was just rolling up hundred dollar bills to make kindling.” “Just wanted to see if you’ll take a deal for somewhere between $34-37 million.” “There’s a three million dollar gap there. That gap is more money than some people make in their lives. Yeah, I guess I’ll take it. If I make $37 million, I’ll be able to light more fires.” I make between three and four dollars daily from Razzball. I have a one dollar gap! I want a three million dollar gap! Inner monologue, “Breath, Grey, breath.” Okay, sorry, my chakras need alignment. So Aramis goes to the land of cheap beer and Laverne & Shirley on the heels of the Brewers about to lose their two best hitters — Prince Fielder and Craig Counsell. Sorry, their two best non-cheating hitters. Eh, the Cubs last year looked like they couldn’t hit soup if they fell out of a boat that was floating on top of a giant vat of soup, and Aramis hit just as well as he usually does. At 34, he’s not going to be less injury-prone and there’s no way he’s ever hitting 30 homers again. He is, however, a professional hitter when healthy. (Don’t you love when I interrupt sentences with “however?” Makes me sound so smart! Even when “however” is interrupting a trite claim like someone’s a professional hitter.) I’d give Aramis a line of 75/25/95/.295. Anyway, here’s some other offseason moves for 2012 fantasy baseball:
Casey McGehee – Traded to the Pirates or as I like to call it, “Make room for Mat Gamel!” The camera pans to Gamel for his reaction and he’s fumbling his drink. What a klutz. McGehee was always utility man-ish before his breakout in 2010, then he went right back to crizzap in 2011. I’m not buying into McGehee in 2012 in Pittsburgh either. Maybe he can go to the plate while the remix plays, “Blech and Yellow.”
Mat Gamel - No one likes Mat Gamel. The Brewers wanted to try Gamel in Spring Training last year and he was 30 pounds overweight. Lay off the mayonnaise, doode. His Triple-A manager said he’s “hard-headed.” (No one ever said that of Justin Morneau.) I get this feeling with a beat provided by will.i.am that Gamel is gonna go the way of Matt Murton. I hope he doesn’t. I hope he gets a real shot at 1st base in Spring Training. I think now that McGehee is gone he will. Even if all Gamel does is hit homers and make errors. In 2007, Milwaukeeans called that The Braun Exacta. I propose the Brewers correct Gamel’s defensive problems similar to how the Rockies went to the humidor. They should put The Vacuum in Miller Park. Whenever the visiting team is hitting, you turn The Vacuum to suck and watch as everything is hit to the left side. The Vacuum sucks so Gamel doesn’t blow. He had another great year at Triple-A — 28 homers, .310. He looks like he’s more than ready with the bat. Definitely will be someone I’ll look at late in drafts for my corner infidel spot. Could get a cheap 25 homers and a .290 average.Please, blog, may I have some more?