I was thinking the other day that Jason Heyward is so young that he doesn’t remember George Bush, Sr. being president. I mean, he’s heard of him (I think), but he was only 3-years-old when he left office. Amongst other things, Heyward missed John Travolta’s career downturn with talking babies, Sean Penn protecting Madonna, Timothy Dalton playing Bond and Billy Crystal as a leading man.Please, blog, may I have some more?
This isn’t the days when Brady Anderson’s sideburns once hit 2 homers in a game while Brady was out with a broken foot. 30 to 45 homers is a lot nowadays. In the final weeks of September, there’s 4 guys who have 35 homers. I think Sammy Sosa once hit 35 homers in a month. Of those current 35 homer guys, one is a first rounder. One of those guys is having a career year. One of those guys in a Big Donkey. And the last guy is staying at the Renaissance Hotel. Mike Stanton is going to hit somewhere between 30 and 45 homers next year. At the age of 21. ARE YOU KIDDING ME? No kidding, Al Caps. For better or worse, the Marlins are a team that gives rookies rope to hang themselves. (See Cameron Maybin’s last two years for further reading on that subject.) So Stanton can scuffle for a month or two, but he’s here to stay. So what can we expect of Mike Stanton for 2011 fantasy baseball and what makes him a keeper?Please, blog, may I have some more?
‘The willies’ as defined by Oxford English Dictionary is a fearful uneasiness of the guy on your street corner that wears a recyclable shopping bag for a shirt and tells you you’re going to hell. 2nd definition, fearful uneasiness of owning Pirate hitters in fantasy. We’ll be dealing with the 2nd definition; you’re on your own with the first one. Should all Pirate hitters give us the willies? No willies on The Dread Pirate. Robot Jones — occasional willies. Neil Walker — no willies for his position. Jose Tabata — no willies, but worried about willies for next year. Pedro Alvarez — some willies now, no future willies. There’s going to be a Pedro Alvarez sleeper post for 2011. I’m telling you now because, if you go into hibernation for five months and rub the crusties out of your eyes to see a Pedro Alvarez sleeper post in 2011, I want you to know I have not been talking about Alvarez for the last five months, it’ll only feel like that to you. Phew, was the longest run-on sentence ever or what? I blame Strunk & White. So what makes Pedro Alvarez a fantasy baseball keeper for 2011?Please, blog, may I have some more?
Member those days when you and your buddies sat around your one buddy’s DJ equipment? You know, the buddy who claimed to be a DJ but really wasn’t any good at all and only played at other friends’ parties. Member how you used to sniff glue? Good times, indeed. Wait, what was I saying? Stupid huffing short-term memory killer. Oh, yeah, getting high.Please, blog, may I have some more?
This week we’re starting a new weekly column that will be here every Monday afternoon, it will be all about fantasy baseball keepers. The column will then move to Friday in the offseason. Since many fantasy baseball keeper leagues don’t decide on their keepers until the start of the new season, I figured I’d go over some fantasy baseball keepers from now until next spring. These aren’t guys that are obviously keepers. You won’t find Hanley or Pujols here. These are guys that you might’ve been able to grab in deep leagues and hold onto for next year on the cheap. Who doesn’t love a bargain?! My dead grandmother loved a bargain. Her death and bargains were in no way related. Filene’s Basement was completely acquitted in that case. Though me and Grandpa we believe. We believe…
Delmon Young was overdue for a post about him. The language of his contract was a bit murky, but here’s the pertinent information, “…at no time prior to 2009 or during the 2010 baseball season will Delmon Young receive an entire post dedicated to him or a lead in a roundup or Buy/Sell, unless he actually does something. Something to be determined solely by Grey Albright. If Grey Albright relinquishes said responsibility, then the hundred monkeys that write these facacta posts shall decide in a winner-takes-all round robin Parcheesi tournament.” See, I had to write about him; last thing we want is Delmon to get all litigious on our ass.Please, blog, may I have some more?