Fantasy Baseball Blog at Razzball.com» 2009 Keepers

Andrew McCutchen, 2010 Fantasy Baseball

Grey — Fri, 13 Nov 2009 08:15:23 +0000

Sometime in 2009 it finally clicked in the collective Pirates brain that they needed to stop playing for now since they weren’t playing well for now anyway. And with that kernel of “ah-ha,” the Pirates sent McLousy off the plank and ushered in Andrew McCutchen, The Dread Pirate. The Dread Pirate proceeded to climb to the top of the sinking Pirate ship’s mast, tore a string from the Jolly Roger and swashbuckled his way into the hearts and minds of his fantasy owners and the seven Pirate season ticket holders. Ahoy, Jonesy, drive me in after I steal this base. Gar. And get me some mead, Ol’ Chumbucket! That’s you, Steven Pearce. You are Ol’ Chumbucket! Argh, don’t make me explain it. Yes, The Dread Pirate brought life where there wasn’t any for 2009, but what about in 2010 fantasy baseball, more of the same booty?

In 433 at-bats last year, McCutchen hit 12 homers with 22 steals while batting .286. Below those numbers, we see a guy who consistently hits the ball on the ground more than in the air in 2009 and 2008 (in Triple-A, his GB vs. FB percentages were 49.4 vs. 32.2). This is good for a guy who relies on his speed to get on base. The power he showed last year may be slightly fluky. After all, he did hit 8 homers in August, which seems extreme for him. I.e., I wouldn’t expect a huge gain in homers in 2010. Maybe 15 homers max. His walk rate was a bit high last year, but he did show a good eye for when he should/should not swing. With his speed and 15 homer power, he’s definitely a 2010 fantasy baseball keeper. Think 80/14/65/.275/35. For redraft leagues, The Dread Pirate can be someone who can provide more value than his draft spot, potentially taking a jump into the top 20 outfielders for 2010… Top 20 outfielders for 2010. Aye, me parrot concurs.

Colby Rasmus, 2009 Fantasy Outlook

Grey — Thu, 18 Dec 2008 06:16:03 +0000

Colby Rasmus goes by the nickname Razz or Razzle-Dazzle, which should make him a favorite here at Razzball, but there’s something pricky about him that I don’t like. Might be the name, Colby. It sounds like a total douche name, like a character’s name in a Bret Easton Ellis novel. (Speaking of douche, I have two things to say. First, I went to the original Dollar Store the other day. No, not some weird field trip. Like, “Hey, honey, you wanna go check out the very first Dollar Store? There’s tours at 12 and 2. Oddly enough, not at 1.” I was walking by it and I went in to grab a Gatorade. The store was extremely small and there’s a giant one across the street. So I ask them why don’t they close up this stankhole of dollar-priced items. They tell me it’s the first store ever. Yeah, it’s a real historic landmark. Put up a plaque and add this to the World Famous Skyline Tour. “On the right is the Hollywood Sign. On the left is where they sold the very first discontinued-candy-that-might-get-you-sick-but-at-least-it’s-only-a-dollar.” So what do I see in the dollar store, besides the aforementioned discontinued candy? Summer’s Eve Douche. I tell you this because I’ve been trying to think of what kind of woman buys douche at the Dollar Store for three days now. I want you to be scarred too. So there. Okay, second thing, doesn’t it seem like the word “douche” should have an accent?) Anyway, the real question is, will Colby Rasmus have any fantasy value in 2009?

Okay, I lied. The real-real question is, will Rasmus win the starting job in 2009 for the Cards? He might. In February of 2008, the Cards GM said Rasmus will be in the majors in 2008. A funny thing happened on the way to The Gateway to the West. Rasmus sucked down a big bottle of Mediocre in the spring of 2008 and then went down with a knee injury in July. He skipped out on winter ball, choosing to do his own strength and conditioning program (Beer and German pretzels?). The good news is his knee should be healed in time for the spring of 2009. Rasmus still has the skills of someone who can run, homer and strikeout with the best of them. To give you an idea of what to expect, if you’re showing Colby Rasmus and the dealer shows Krispie Young, that’s a push. His value could go up in the April, if he leaves spring training with a starting OF job. In NL-Only and keeper leagues, you should pursue Colby Rasmus right now as a late round sleeper. In mixed leagues, wait to see if he has the job in spring training. If he does, then you should be buying in too.

Jason Heyward, 2009 Fantasy Outlook

Grey — Wed, 17 Dec 2008 19:52:18 +0000

Jason Heyward, besides having the surname of a 1930s matinee idol, has the mitts of a Yeti and the sturdies (<– that’s legs) of Frank Thomas. His man gams are 117% oak. You thought Jay Bruce could fight crime? Heyward just saved your life and you didn’t even know you were in danger. Look over your left shoulder — quickly! See that shadow shrinking out of the room? That was Heyward. He’s now going to Ireland to sing harmony with that Once guy. So being a globetrotting, harmonizing, crime fighting love child of a Yeti and Frank Thomas is all well-and-good, but can the the Braves outfield prospect, Jason Heyward, help you in fantasy baseball leagues in 2009?

Nope. But… You said he was Yeti-like! Sorry, random italicized voice, it’s a bummer. I know. So you’re probably thinking to yourself why am I even talking about him? (Yes, I can read your mind. Spooky, huh?) Firstly, when I decided to go over 2009 fantasy rookies — Wait, you don’t need to know it from the jump, as the kids said in the early naughts. Fast forward to my reasoning… Twenty-seventhly, Heyward is going to be something special probably as soon as 2010. This is a wake up call for all keeper leagues, NL-Only and mixed ones. You know all that power and speed you love about The Uptons? Heyward has that in duckets. He’s my early 2010 NL ROY frontrunner and should be owned in all keeper leagues. You want a prediction limb? Heyward goes 25/15 in his first full season with the Braves and he invents a Snuggie that doesn’t look quite as monk-like.

Mat Gamel, 2009 Fantasy Outlook

Grey — Tue, 16 Dec 2008 07:11:02 +0000

While regurgigating Jobacum, I mentioned Gamel is a lot like Ryan Braun. All hit, no field. In Single-A ball in 2007, Gamel made 53 errors in 128 games. In that post, I said that he plays 3rd like Jenny McCarthy at a celebrity All-Star game, but I think I was overestimating his glove work. Kenny Mayne might be a better comparison. Last year Gamel cut his errors to 30, but still led Double-A with the most errors by a third baseman. Oh Gamel, you’ve done it again! If he could just get to the big leagues as a third baseman, his bat will be one to own in fantasy. But can he help your fantasy baseball team in 2009?

Bill James projects a full-time Mat Gamel in 2009 hitting 18 home runs and over .300 in 150 games. I think that’s being too conservative on the power, but too generous on the games played. If Gamel gets a full-time gig out of spring training, I think we could see 27/80/.300 and 40 errors. The Brewers also realized Gamel’s glove isn’t ready for the majors and now have in place the third base blahtoon of Mike Lamb and Bill Hall. Gamel is probably destined for the outfield, but the Brewers outfield is a bit crowded right now. Gamel needs Corey Hart to tongue kiss Casey Kotchman and come down with a bad case of mono for Gamel to see any significant time in the Brewers outfield in 2009. I’m sure the Brewers want Gamel to play 3rd; I’m almost positive Gamel wants to play 3rd, but inspiration meets perspiration meets no fielding ability, doesn’t add up to a major league 3rd baseman. Unless the Brewers play Gamel in short left field in front of Braun, the glaring flaw in his defensive game makes him too much of a liability for the Brewers and too much for you, except in deep keeper leagues.

Teagarden and Max Ramirez, 2009 Fantasy Outlook

Grey — Mon, 08 Dec 2008 06:29:47 +0000

Back in September, I wrote about the Rangers catching situation in a post titled, “Rangers Decide Catching Wins Championships:”

Gerald Laird? Yeah, he’s serviceable. Jarrod Saltimbocca? He was enticing enough to get from the Braves and he’s wonderful with broccoli rabe. Taylor Teagarden? (Has six) HR(s) in (the last) 12 games. Before you rush out to pickup Teagarden, see 1/18 of a centimeter after this period. Max Ramirez, the future at catcher for the Rangers, was called up on Monday night. This gives the Rangers three promising catchers, a fourth usable catcher and no pitchers. Let’s see, the last three World Champions have had Varitek, Pierzynski and one of The Flying Molina Bros. Usable pieces, for sure, but not exactly the cogs that made the offense work. Earth to the Rangers, wtf?

And you can add Carlos Ruiz to that illustrious group of championship catchers. So, is Nolan Ryan trying to make amends for something he said about the catchers he worked with? Did someone roofie this organization’s common sense? Seriously, WTF?! I wasn’t even going to cover these Rangers rookie catcher schmohawks because there’s too many of them for any of them to have any fantasy worth, but there’s word the Rangers are smartening up and trying to trade some of these schmohawks. So what can we expect from Max Ramirez and Taylor Teagarden for fantasy baseball in 2009?

More than Josh Bard, if they get the job, but right now Laird and Salty are blocking them. Don’t fret, young Razzballian, there’s still some hope. Detroit needs a catcher. Maybe one of these catchers ends up there. There’s talk Laird is going to Motown. Then there’s Blalock who is a back scratch away from pulling a Kotchman. Maybe one of these catchers goes to 1st base. The one that fits the first baseman mitt the most is Max Ramirez. Unfortunately, he’s a bit iffy as a fantasy starter if he gets moved to a corner. He’ll be a sleeper in keeper leagues to watch in 2009, nothing more. I’d rank him fourth behind the other four as of right now. If Laird and Salty are traded, Ramirez, like bran, becomes number two. So who’s number one?

Taylor Teagarden. Let’s assume for the moment he’s the starter in 2009. Now no one, not even Teagarden, thinks he’s the .800+ slugging catcher we saw in September of 2008. Though he does have pop that will only be aided by Arlington’s hot summer and he’s shown his ability to take a walk. His average in 2008 was a bit of a mirage. He’s closer to a 20/60/.260 hitter with a full-time job. Think Mike Crapoli with a slightly better average. With the right offseason breaks, Taylor Teagarden could be the Rangers catcher in 2009. Granted, he needs a lot of breaks. In AL-Only and two catcher leagues, I’m grabbing him late with the hope he somehow emerges from spring training with the job. In most mixed leagues, Teagarden’s not worth a draft pick. Yet. But if he lands the job, get ready to pounce.

UPDATE:

Gerald Laird – Was traded to the Tigers ten hours after I posted this. You’re welcome, Rangers. Let me know what else I can advise on. That trade makes the catching order Salty, Teagarden then Ramirez. Now if Blalock gets injured, Salty goes to 1st base and Teagarden catches 75% of the games. As Naughty By Nature once sang, “That shizz is written on a kitten.” I’d now draft Salty in 10 team mixed leagues some time after the top catchers are gone and grab Teagarden late in 12 team mixed leagues and deeper. In AL-Only leagues that draft prior to spring training, they both need to be owned. Just don’t rush to grab Teagarden. He still needs Blalock to get injured. Which means as soon as Blalock is allowed to leave his hermetically-sealed bubble, it’s on like Donkey Kong.

Position Eligibility for 2009 Fantasy Baseball, Companion Piece

Grey — Fri, 05 Dec 2008 20:04:03 +0000

I shut the comments off on the Position Eligibility for 2009 Fantasy Baseball post because… Well, I don’t know. I felt like it. You have to know everything? Since that post was mostly just listing players and their eligibility for 2009, I figured I’d do a companion piece to highlight the guys that have a boost in value because of multiple position eligibility. That position eligibility post was the cheese and this is the macaroni. I might have left some people off of here, but that’s prolly because they didn’t see a boost in value from extra eligibility. Or maybe I forgot them. Check to see if I did and let me know in the comments, cause as even a semi-regular reader of Razzball you’ll know that the comments are ofttimes more entertaining than the posts themselves. Anyway, here’s some guys who see a boost in fantasy value for 2009 because of multiple position eligibility:

Russell Martin – You want him at catcher — pork butt pho sho! But having him at 3rd too could help you if you have some Corner Infidel clogging up your lineup.

Victor Martinez – See Martin, Russell or 1/8 of an inch above.

Brandon Inge – Face the facts, Cousin Jeri, you don’t want him at 3rd or OF. At catcher, his .215 average almost seems digestible. Almost.

Pablo Sandoval – You want him at catcher, but in a lot of leagues he may not be eligible there yet. According to Sabean, he’s going to be the Giants starting 3rd baseman in 2009. Sandoval will be a name to watch as he is currently knocking the cover off the ball (and then eating its innards) in the Venezuelan Winter League.

Mark DeRosa/Asdrubal/Barmes/Eugenio/Alexei - You want them at 2nd base or MI.

Blake DeWitt – Where DeWitt might not have had any value at Corner or 3rd, he now has some late round flier MI value with his 2nd base eligibility.

Hank Blalock/Chris Davis/Youuuuuk/Huff/Cantu/Atkins/Carlos Guillen – You want them at 3rd base.

Ty Wigginton – Could be slotted in as a 5th outfielder in some deep leagues or a corner infidel.

Adam Dunn – If you can squeeze him in at Corner, it could be huge — literally — oofa!

Conor Jackson – At 1st base he’s a bit yawnstipating, but as a second-tier outfielder he might be worth the Jason Kendall-like power.

Nick Swisher – See the first part of the 1/8 of an inch above comment.

Brandon Wood – Not sure yet what the Angels of Bobby Grichville have planned for Wood in 2009, but he has eligibility at 3rd and SS, which gives him the Superfecta eligibility of MI and CI. Keep in mind that he was booted from a winter league for his poor performance. (The same league where convicted pedophile Luis Polonia is now the career hits leader. No lie; he’s the Pete Rose of the Dominican.)

Ian Stewart – Also has the Superfecta eligibility of MI and CI.

Juan Uribe – I’m not a fan of the Uribe, but he does have Superfecta eligibility. This helps his AL-Only value.

Felipe Lopez – Not a fan of his either, but he has the Pick 4 of eligibility available at 2nd, 3rd, SS and OF.

Alfredo Amezaga - He isn’t necessarily ownable except in NL-Only leagues, but he also has the Pick 4 of eligibility.

Jhonny Peralta — This Silent H is being groomed in the DR this winter to take over 3rd base in 2009 so he could have multiple position eligibility next season. (I say could because the Indians could sign a 3rd baseman in the offseason.)

Position Eligibility for 2009 Fantasy Baseball

Grey — Fri, 05 Dec 2008 20:02:43 +0000

With our 2009 fantasy baseball rankings a sneeze and a “Bless you,” away, I’ve decided to look at the guys who have multiple position eligibility for this upcoming 2009 fantasy baseball season. This was an arduous (<–Word of the Day!) task, but I thought it might come in handy for the 2009 fantasy baseball drafts you’ll be doing. I know if I were in your shoes, I’d want a comprehensive list like this. I’d prolly even bookmark it. Maybe I’d even print it out for drafts. I only listed players that have multiple position eligibility because of ten games or more played outside of their primary position. Arod is not here; but Alfredo Amezaga is. Players with multiple position eligibility are listed once alphabetically under their primary position. The games played are listed in parentheses. Anyway, here’s all the players multiple position eligibility for the 2009 fantasy baseball season and where they’ll be eligible at:

CATCHERS

Brandon Inge C (60), 3B (51), OF (13)
Paul LoDuca C (26), 1B (17)
Russell Martin C (149), 3B (11)
Victor Martinez C (55), 1B (10)
Javier Valentin C (17), 1B (11)

1ST BASEMEN

Rich Aurilla 1B (82), 3B (63)
Roger Bernadina 1B (33), 2B (29), 3B (31)
Wilson Betemit 1B (36), 3B (21), SS (14)
Hank Blalock 1B (34), 3B (31)
Aaron Boone 1B (54), 3B (16)
John Bowker 1B (71), OF (19)
Miguel Cabrera 1B (143), 3B (14)
Miguel Cairo 1B (70), 3B (19)
Kory Casto 1B (23), 3B (13)
Frank Catalanotto 1B (33), OF (26)
Chris Davis 1B (51), 3B (32)
Ross Gload 1B (111), OF (11)
Doug Mientkiewicz 1B (37), 3B (33), OF (10)
Pablo Sandoval 1B (17), 3B (12), C (11)
Kevin Youkilis 1B (125), 3B (36)

2ND BASEMEN

Jeff Baker 2B (49), 1B (22)
Clint Barmes 2B (61), SS (36), 3B (13)
Asdrubal Cabrera 2B (94), SS (20)
Alberto Callaspo 2B (46), SS (18)
Jamey Carroll 2B (74), 3B (43)
Ronny Cedeno 2B (43), SS (27)
Mark DeRosa 2B (95), OF (59), 3B (22)
Joe Inglett 2B (66), OF (34)
Adam Kennedy 2B (84), OF (10)
Felipe Lopez 2B (101), OF (17), 3B (13), SS (13)
Jose Lopez 2B (139), 1B (13)
Mark Loretta 2B (46), 3B (17)
Luis Maza 2B (35), SS (16)
Aaron Miles 2B (85), SS (27), 3B (11)
Augie Ojeda 2B (44), 3B (28), SS (22)
Pablo Ozuna 2B (37), 3B (17)
Eric Patterson 2B (22), OF (17)
Cliff Pennington 2B (16), SS (10)
Omar Quintanilla 2B (40), SS (39)
Alexei Ramirez 2B (121), SS (16), OF (11)
Eugenio Velez 2B (69), OF (17)

3RD BASEMEN

Garrett Atkins 3B (94), 1B (61)
Willy Aybar 3B (41), 1B (19), 2B (10)
Casey Blake 3B (133), 1B (29)
Jorge Cantu 3B (129), 1B (66)
Jose Castillo 3B (110), 2B (12)
Craig Counsell 3B (38), SS (24), 2B (19)
Blake DeWitt 3B (95), 2B (27)
German Duran 3B (30), 2B (17)
Chris Gomez 3B (20), 2B (18), SS (13)
Carlos Guillen 3B (89), 1B (24)
Jack Hannahan 3B (126), 1B (10)
Wes Helms 3B (60), 1B (42)
Aubrey Huff 3B (33), 1B (24)
Martin Prado 3B (24), 1B (17), 2B (17)
Robb Quinlan 3B (39), 1B (22)
Ian Stewart 3B (65), 2B (12)
Matt Tolbert 3B (17), SS (14), 2B (11)
Juan Uribe 3B (57), 2B (52)
Ramon Vazquez 3B (70), SS (26), 2B (11)
Ty Wigginton 3B (82), OF (30)
Brandon Wood 3B (32), SS (28)

SHORTSTOPS

Mike Aviles SS (91), 2B (28)
Manny Burriss SS (47), 2B (41)
David Eckstein SS (57), 2B (24)
Brandon Fahey SS (46), 2B (10)
Nomar Garciaparra SS (31), 3B (11)
Alberto Gonzalez SS (26), 3B (14)
Brendan Harris SS (55), 2B (39), 3B (34)
Chin-Lung Hu SS (35), 2B (30)
Maicer Izturis SS (52), 2B (23)
Jeff Keppinger SS (108), 3B (10)
Jed Lowrie SS (49), 3B (45)
Nick Punto SS (61), 2B (26), 3B (12)
Luis Rivas SS (31), 2B (29)
Brendan Ryan SS (40), 2B (23)
Ramon Santiago SS (33), 2B (21)
Marco Scutaro SS (56), 2B (50), 3B (41)
Ben Zobrist SS (35), OF (19)

OUTFIELD

Alfredo Amezaga OF (79), SS (19), 3B (15), 2B (10)
Will Bloomquist OF (43), SS (12)
Eric Bruntlett OF (36), SS (35), 3B (27)
Chris Burke OF (26), 2B (18)
Chris Duncan OF (45), 1B (21)
Adam Dunn OF (141), 1B (19)
Darin Ertsad OF (88), 1B (12)
Esteban German OF (39), 2B (35)
Jerry Hairston OF (42), SS (34)
Willie Harris OF (103), 3B (14), 2B (14)
Eric Hinske OF (89), 1B (11)
Omar Infante OF (36), 3B (32), SS (20), 2B (10)
Conor Jackson OF (77), 1B (68)
Greg Norton OF (26), 1B (11)
Dan Ortmeier OF (15), 1B (13)
Ryan Raburn OF (57), 3B (18), 2B (16)
Nick Swisher OF (97), 1B (71)
Mark Teahen OF (119), 3B (19), 1B (14)

Carlos Carrasco, 2009 Fantasy Outlook

Grey — Thu, 04 Dec 2008 19:57:53 +0000

Who’s a 2009 NL Rookie of Year candidate? Who’s a 22-year-old Phillies rookie who should be owned in keeper leagues already? Who won The Pickup Artist and how? Wait, that last one was off topic, but to answer, Carlos Carrasco, Carlos Carrasco, Simeon with negs and DHV spiking. Yes, saying these things about Carlos Carrasco is high praise. Lumping him in with a pregunta about The Pickup Artist is the ultimate. So why all the hype about Carrasco? Can he help your fantasy baseball team in 2009?

Um, dur. Yeah, of course. What was I just saying? He’s the real deal. The butter on your biscuit, the mustard on your hot dog, the donkadonk on your badonkadonk. He’s wrestled with an average WHIP but he has a nice K:BB and doesn’t give up many home runs. In the last year, he improved his walk rate… Oh my, I almost put myself to sleep. Let’s say this, Carrasco can be a difference maker in 2009 like Volquez was in 2008. The real hangup, will he be pitching in Lehigh Valley or Philly in 2009?

The Phils promoted Kyle Kendrick from Double-A last year and he was hardly a doughy bagel. Pursue Carlos Carrasco in your 2009 fantasy drafts. All of them. Hold on, I’m bring out the caps — ALL OF THEM. Now don’t make go get the exclamation mark. If Carrasco doesn’t make the club out of spring training, he’ll soon be there and will make an impact. If he does make the team but only as a long man out of the bullpen, he will soon be starting. Don’t worry about what the Phils will be saying out of spring training. Remember Evan Longoria in 2008. In March, the Rays said they wouldn’t bring him up just yet. Then he won the Rookie of the Year. (And I’m not talking about a DVD of that bad Gary Busey movie.)

James McDonald, 2009 Fantasy Outlook

Grey — Thu, 04 Dec 2008 07:41:18 +0000

Most of the rookie nookie reacharounds I’ve given out so far have been for hitters. But that doesn’t mean all 2009 fantasy baseball rookies will be hitters. Right, David Price? So today there’s Dodgers rookie pitcher, James McDonald, who is in no way related to the smooth-as-a-Mah-Jong-tile, Michael McDonald. On my own… As with the other 2009 rookies, James McDonald is not being talked about today because he should be drafted in the first round of an 8 team league. He’s a rookie that needs to be examined for sleeper and deep league keeper consideration. Can James McDonald compare to Billingsley or Kershaw? Can he help your fantasy baseball team in 2009? Who am I, Ms. Cleo? Do I have a Doctorate in The Voodoo That You Do? Respectively, nope, yup, nope and definitely, but let’s look at James McDonald’s fantasy baseball status anyway, shall we?

In almost 100 games started in his minors career, James McDonald has the stats of a capable starter: 3.41/1.20 and a 9.74 K/9 ratio. He took most of his beatings in Single-A and Rookie Ball. In Double- and Triple-A last year, he had an ERA of 3.26 and a 7-4 record. Then when the NLDS rolled around, McDonald found more than partially hydrogenated soybean oil in his Happy Meal when he was added to the roster by Joe Torre, even if it was just for middle relief. McDonald’s starter status in 2009 will be contingent on offseason free agent signings and the Dodgers are in too big of a market to simply rely on a rookie pitcher. But if they are stuck with McDonald, it might not be such a bad place to be. James McDonald could be a capable fifth starter for the Dodgers, a must grab in NL-Only leagues and a late round mixed league sleeper — recognize!

Andrew McCutchen, 2009 Fantasy Outlook

Grey — Wed, 03 Dec 2008 19:50:08 +0000

Andrew McCutchen has been compared to a young Barry Bonds. Not because he takes steroids and kicks puppies. He’s getting the comparisons because McCutchen is toolsy. Hey, Grey, my friend works at Home Depot and we call him Toolsy. Good to know, random italicized voice. McCutchen’s power is still developing and the speed is already there. He’s the top prospect for the Pirates (which is a bit like being the world’s tallest midget), as long as the Pirates don’t turn him into a crappy pitcher or lose him to the Calcutta Cricket League. (As some longtime readers may know, a few years ago I pitched a baseball reality show to studios. One of our biggest hurdles was who in their right mind would sign a winner of a reality show. Ladies and gentlemen, your 2009 Pittsburgh Pirates!) With the hype on McCutchen, can he help your fantasy baseball team in 2009?

The short answer is no. The long answer is nooooooo. The Pirates’ GM Neal Huntington said that McCutchen won’t be getting the starting job out of spring training. If McCutchen were playing for the Marlins, he’d prolly be going on his third year in the majors. In all fairness, there’s only room for one Mc in center (much to the chagrin of anyone named Seamus in the Pirates organization), and McLouth is doing just fine. There’s a good chance McCutchen will simply be refining his tools in the minors in 2009 and if he gets the call it won’t be until rosters expand in September. Unless something changes in spring training, McCutchen is only a very deep sleeper in 2009 NL-Only leagues and a good, late draft pick in keeper leagues.

David Price, 2009 Fantasy Outlook

Grey — Tue, 02 Dec 2008 04:54:57 +0000

We’ve already looked at some 2009 rookies for fantasy baseball, such as Travis Snider, Matt Wieters, Killa Kahula and Brett Gardner. Now we turn our monocled eye towards David Price. It took some time for the Rays’ farm system to pay dividends, but, now that it has, it’s a doughy bagel. (A doughy bagel is a situation that is very good for its kind; eminently good. I’m trying to get “doughy bagel” to catch on so use it whenever you can. Thanks!) The best thing about this doughy bagel farm system is they are stacked right now in the majors and they have prospects in the minors. And the Jewel of the Tampa Nile is David Price. He’s bona fide as a character in a bad Coen Bros film might say. Aw, look at Grey, he watched the World Series and now he’s hyped up on David Price for 2009. God, random italicized voice, I hate you. Yes, there’s a chance that the World Series will have people overrating David Price for 2009. But there’s a chance he can be as good as the hype.

When he was at Vanderbilt (Did you know Grey almost went there for undergrad? You did? Stalker!), Price was some kind of dynamo. Price’s numbers are those of legends. Then the Rays took him from High A to Double-A to Triple-A to the Majors in 2008 as they boosted his Frequent Flyer miles and primed him for 2009. Between those Minor League stops he went a cumulative 12-1/2.30 and 109/32 K/BB ratio in 19 starts. He suffered his only loss in his Triple-A debut. Not necessarily a terrific sign, but it might have been nerves. In 2009, I predict the Rays will try and get Price at least 20 starts. This could mean he starts the season in the bullpen and waits for an injury to a starter cough Kazmir cough. This will shake out more in spring training. If you’re drafting for 2009 before spring, grab Price like a third or fourth fantasy starter. Think Gallardo going into 2008. Yes, I used one of the biggest busts of 2008 on purpose because drafting Price means embracing risk. Anyway, Price should go in mixed leagues some time around draft pick 130 to 140. In AL-Only and keeper leagues, you obviously need to be much more aggressive.

Closer Look

Grey — Mon, 01 Dec 2008 04:47:43 +0000

Before we look at all the potential closers going into the 2009 season, let me say this, “None of these schmohawks may be a closer by the time we get to May.” Sure, barring injury, some are sure things like Nathan, Lidge and Papelbon. I’m just saying that it’s very early to be looking at 2009 closers, but some people need to get their 2009 keepers in, so I figured I’d do a quick closer look. Anyway, here’s all of the guys that could be a closer in 2009:

$12 Salads

You know that restaurant your girlfriend/wife/what-have-you likes to go to that charges, like, $12 for a salad? Every time you go there, you have a thoroughly solid meal. No complaints, except you just paid $12 for a salad when you could’ve went to McDonald’s and stuffed you and your woman for $10 schmools and had $2 in quarters left over to make the hotel bed vibrate. These closers are $12 salads.

1. Joe Nathan, MIN (Jesse Crain)
2. Jonathan Papelbon, BOS (Hideki Okajima)
3. Brad Lidge, PHI (Ryan Madson)
4. Mariano Rivera, NYY (Damaso Marte)
5. Francisco Rodriguez, FA

Donkey-corns

Imagine you’re following a donkey, who’s wearing a wool cap, through a desert for 1700 miles. Why are you following a donkey? Because he promises you something wonderful and you just need to trust him. Does the donkey talk? Yes. Yes, he does talk. So when you and the donkey in the wool cap arrive at his destination he removes his the wool cap to reveal a horn. The donkey is a unicorn and his gift to you for your trust is saves. These closers are Donkey-corns.

6. Joakim Soria, KAN (Joel Peralta)
7. Francisco Cordero, CIN (Jared Burton)
8. Jose Valverde, HOU (LaTroy Hawkins)
9. Bobby Jenks, CHW (Octavio Dotel, Matt Thornton)
10. Joey Devine/Brad Zielger (Santiago Casilla)
11. Jonathan Broxton/Takashi Saito, LAD (Hong-Chih Kuo)
12. Carlos Marmol/Kevin Gregg, CHI (Jeff Samardzija…. If it’s Marmol alone, he moves up these rankings. If it’s Gregg, he moves down.)
13. Brian Fuentes, FA
14. Brian Wilson, SAN (Jeremy Affeldt)
15. B.J. Ryan, TOR (Jesse Carlson)
16. J.J. Putz, SEA (Roy Corcoran)
17. Jose Arrendondo/Scot Shields, LAA
18. Matt Capps, PIT (John Grabow)
19. Heath Bell, SDG (Mike Adams)
20. Kerry Wood, FA
21. Mike Gonzalez, ATL (Rafael Soriano)
22. George Sherrill, BAL (Chris Ray)

BRAIN FREEZE

I’m going to a picnic and I’m bringing apples, bananas and Troy Percival– Wait, he just gave up 12 earned runs and hit Pena in the head with a pickoff throw. Brain freeze! Make it stop! Use the following closers at your own risk.

23. Chad Qualls, ARI (Jon Rauch, Tony Pena)
24. David Riske, MIL (Carlos Villanueva)
25. Manny Corpas/Huston Street, COL (Taylor Buchholz)
26. Trevor Hoffman, FA
27. Matt Lindstrom, FLA (Joe Nelson)
28. Troy Percival, TAM (Dan Wheeler, Grant Balfour)
29. Fernando Rodney, DET (Joel Zumaya, Kyle Farnsworth)
30. Chris Perez, STL (Jason Motte)
31. Joel Hanrahan, WAS (Saul Rivera)
32. C.J. Wilson/Frank Francisco, TEX
33. Jensen Lewis/Rafael Perez, CLE (Rafael Betancourt)
34. Eddie Kunz/Luis Ayala/The Arepa Lady, NYM

Kila Ka’aihue, 2009 Fantasy Outlook

Grey — Wed, 26 Nov 2008 06:06:03 +0000

I have to be honest, part of me hopes Kila Ka’aihue fails simply because his name is so difficult to spell. Does this make me an underachiever? Or does the fact I didn’t feel like looking up if underachiever was supposed to be hypenated make me an underachiever? Hmmm… Damn you, Kila Ka’aihue, and your impossible to spell name and your promising skill set! You got me second guessing my very nature! (Or is it nuture?) I guess things could be worse, I could have to talk about Kila Ka’aihue and Mike Moustakas. Maybe when Moustakas gets the call in 2010 or so, I’ll just refer to them both as the Hawaiian-Greek fusion restaurant, The Spam Kebab, which sounds delicious, right? Wait, what was I saying? Oh, yeah… Kila Ka’aihue! Let’s look at why you should be familiar with this weirdly, apostrophed name for 2009 fantasy baseball.

Kila Ka’aihue is a Hawaiia’an mash machine, poi! I’d be through the roof for this doode if it wasn’t for the Royals boneheaded trade earlier this offseason for Jacobs, which reminds me– What do you get when you cross a team that insists on cutting its Major League low $20-something million payroll with a team that doesn’t understand it already has potentially four 1st basemen? You get the Marlins dealing Jacobs to the Royals, a team that has Shealy, Ka’aihue, Gload and Butler. Watch closely to see if Ka’aihue lands somewhere else that can make use of a guy who had an OPS of 1.085 last year in the minors and 37 HRs in 401 at-bats. A guy that hit a home run in almost every third game in Triple-A should prolly get a chance somewhere. You would think the peasant Royals could find room, but they need to maintain the lack of integrity in their product — it’s the Royals way! If Ka’aihue is sharing time, he’s nothing but an AL-Only sleeper. If he can find a starting spot, he’s mixed league material.

Brett Gardner, 2009 Fantasy Outlook

Grey — Tue, 25 Nov 2008 19:53:47 +0000

We’ve looked at some of other potential fantasy baseball 2009 keepers — 2009 rookies — doodes — already with our ongoing 2009 fantasy rookie series. Today (this afternoon, whenever you’re reading this) we look at the New York Yankees rookie center fielder, Brett Gardner. Gardner had 127 ABs last year, but he’s all rookie for our porpoises. (Which reminds me, I found out recently my girlfriend went on a trip about five years ago and rode on a dolphin. The thought of her going for a dolphin ride made me jealous, even though she never told me she was with an ex-boyfriend. I just assumed that you go for trips that involve dolphin rides when you’re vacationing with someone special. Baby, look at his fin! He’s waving! This is the best time of my life! I hope he sprays me with his spout like you did last night! You don’t go for dolphin rides when you’re with some jerkoff. Dolphin rides are what girls do with nice guys. But I digress.) Brett Gardner may not even start for the Yankees in center field, but if he does, there’s a reason you’ll want to keep an eye on him for 2009 fantasy baseball.

SAGNOF. That’s why, faithful Razzball reader. Gardner has the power of Juan Pierre, and the legs of him too. In 1448 minor league at-bats, Gardner had an OBP of .389 while averaging about a steal every 3rd game. When he moved to the majors, he still averaged a steal every 3rd game, which is a lot of steals if he can play 120 games. His OBP didn’t carry over from the minors, but he’s still young and has time to improve. He could find himself leading off for the Yanks if everything breaks right for him, which would lead to a lot of steals and runs. Gardner is a perfect endgame target in deep mixed and AL-Only leagues.

Travis Snider, 2009 Fantasy Outlook

Grey — Tue, 25 Nov 2008 05:41:05 +0000

We talked about picking up Travis Snider at the tail end of September, so you can imagine that we’re pro-Snider in 2009. (Or at least I am. Not sure why I always say we. I guess I got a We Complex.) I don’t want to get the hype machine going too rapaciously (Word of the Day and I’m not sure it’s used correctly), but Snider’s most similar comparisons are Chris Davis and Jay Bruce. He can’t, obviously, walk on water as well as Jay Bruce and I’ve never seen him cure the Pox like Chris Davis. But Snider can hit home runs and strikeout like those two rookie nookie phenoms. When I went over Matt Wieters’s 2009 fantasy outlook, I preached caution. Take a wait and see approach. Travis Snider is in a better situation than Wieters for 2009 and could be more valuable in fantasy baseball.

Travis Snider September callup in 2008 showed that the Jays are excited about his prospects and they’ve committed to giving him a chance to make the club out of spring training. In the minors, Snider did exactly what should be expected of him in 2009 — home runs and Ks. In 2009, I think Snider will be a bit of a batting average liability, but I think he can evetually move past that. If he gets the OF job out of spring training, Snider could be a cheap source of 20 home run power. Initially, I see him splitting time with Lind and, if he can get off to a hot start, it should mean he’s here to stay. In AL-Only leagues, he’s absolutely draftable. In mixed leagues, I’d be a bit more cautious, but I could definitely see a late round flier taken on him, especially in deep leagues.

Chase Utley, 2009 Keeper?

Grey — Fri, 21 Nov 2008 06:24:20 +0000

Schadenfreude has me tuned to The Pickup Artist every Sunday night. C’mon, Simeon, neg the target! Schadenfreude had me floating on a cloud for two days last week after I saw pictures from an old high school buddy’s wedding. He got fat and bald! Ha! I’m in shape and I have my hair! So schadenfreude should have me thrilled to see Utley with an injury. Unfortunately, Chase Utley is different. Chase’s injury leaves me with no joy. You know how you use words when you’re writing that you would never say in real life? Well, I’m unabashedly a fan of Chase Utley, and I don’t think I’ve ever said “unabashedly” in real life. This Buick is unabashedly economical! But that’s how much I like Utley, I can’t express my love for him in words I normally use. Is this because I know Utley loves him some hookers? That can’t hurt, but it’s more than that. It’s more than his slicked-back, I’m-Tom-Cruise-in-The-Color-of-Money douchebag hair and his cooler-than-Eckstein hustle. It’s… Maybe it’s his love for hookers. Either way, his injury could have him out until June of 2009. If you’re keeping him with a price tag higher than $25, you really need to reevaluate your Chase Utley keeper situation, right? Well, when he broke his hand in 2007, he bounced back quicker than anyone thought was possible. Can he do the same with this hip injury? He’s got the mettle. (There I go again using a word I would never use in everyday conversation.)

Hey, yo, Bo knows this and Bo knows that, but Bo don’t know Jack because Bo don’t know when Utley’s going to be back… So yo, yo, what’s the best case scenario? Everyone seems to think the injury to Chase’s hip will keep him out of any baseball-related activities until at least mid- to late-March aka the end of 2009 Spring Training. Let’s give him two weeks later to be safe. Then he needs at least two weeks to get up to speed. That means we’ll see Utley at the beginning of May at the earliest. This wouldn’t kill Utley’s production for 2009, but it might hurt the perception of his value in 2009. So, for the first time in a while, Utley could actually come as a bargain. I imagine he’ll fall to the late second or third rounds of early 2009 drafts. If you’re not drafting until March, then there’s a good chance we’ll have a better idea when exactly Utley will return and his value will either rise or fall. Right now, I want Utley in the second round. Remember in the preseason of 2008 when ‘perts were comparing Pujols to Jim Abbott? Remember what that did to his draft value? Yeah, and he just won the NL MVP. For keepers, it depends on your situation, but I’d still look to hold onto Utley for 2009. He’ll still give you more than 99% of the other 2nd basemen, even if he misses a month. Anyway, here’s some more keepers or players to not keep for your fantasy baseball team in 2009:

KEEP

Carlos Marmol – When I went over the Gregg trade for fantasy, I mentioned that I thought Gregg might become the closer because Piniella might pull some boneheaded “experience matters” maneuver. That’s not to say Marmol won’t have value or won’t get plenty of saves, whether he has the job officially or not. Don’t forget, Gregg is garbage. Even with Wood admirably holding down the closer job in Chicago last year, Marmol still came in 13th on the list of top 20 closers for 2008.

DON’T KEEP

Joe Saunders – If keeping Saunders causes you to have an erection longer than thirty seconds, you should see a doctor.

Matt Wieters, 2009 Fantasy Outlook

Grey — Mon, 17 Nov 2008 06:21:33 +0000

If you don’t know the name Matt Wieters, you will. No, he’s not the guy that just moved in next door that feeds pigeons, pigeons that then sit around all day on the telephone wires and crap all over your car. Though I do know that guy, and he simultaneously sucks and blows. Matt Wieters is not that guy, he’s the Minor League rookie catcher for the Baltimore Orioles. He’s the rookie catcher that could make a Geovany Soto-like impact on fantasy leagues in 2009. He’s the rookie catcher that is being compared to Mike Piazza and not because Belle and Sebastian wrote a song about him. He’s also the rookie catcher that hasn’t played above Double-A. So why all the hype about Wieters? Can he help your fantasy baseball team in 2009?

In 61 games and 208 at-bats of Double-A, Wieters went 12/51/.365. Zoinks! The numbers get even more delicious the further you dig, rookie prospector. An OBP of .460 — an OPS of 1085. Okay, now that you prolly want to have Wieters’s baby like Arod would carry Madonna’s, time to bring you back to earth. No, Earth is polluted! Sorry, but Mike Piazza and Geovany Soto are the exceptions to the rule for rookie catchers. In 2008, Geovany Soto went 66/23/86/.285. While those are great numbers for a rookie and incredible numbers for a rookie catcher, they are still only 66/23/86/.285. Those numbers only placed him 91st on our player rater while ranking 5th on the top 20 catchers for 2008 list. So what I’m saying is, even the best rookie catchers are only so good for fantasy baseball. Bill James projected Wieters to hit 24 home runs in 2009. You don’t argue with Bill James — you disagree then Bill waves his pinkie finger and you fall to the ground, temporarily paralyzed — but 24 home runs is very optimistic. (In all fairness, James’s numbers do change depending on expected playing time.) If Wieters makes the club out of spring training and he seems to be handling major league pitching, my recommendation is to pursue Wieters as a late round sleeper. But just remember, for every Geovany Soto, there’s always a Saltamochachino.

Garrett Atkins, 2009 Keeper?

Grey — Fri, 14 Nov 2008 21:27:23 +0000

If Sergio Valente were a person and not just a clothing brand name and if he played fantasy baseball and owned Garrett Atkins in 2008, he might’ve said, “Garrett Atkins, you looks like craps. You know that?” (Valente talks with a bit of an accent.) Valente was right with his fictitious assessment. Atkins did “looks” like “craps” in 2008. But 2008 was sooooo last year like Joaquin Phoenix’s acting career. Let’s look at 2009. Can Atkins turn around on a fastball in 2009? Can Atkins stick in the third spot in the Rockies order now that Holliday’s gone? Will Atkins even stay with the Rockies? Does Atkins have too much pepper on his paprikash? Not to repeat, but to answer. Atkins numbers for 2008 look like this 86/21/99/.286/1 or as I like to call those stats, “Injured Scott Rolen Numbers.” But what about Atkins in 2009? Can’t a brother get a second chance? I suppose. (God, knows I’m willing to give Alex Rios a second chance in 2009.) As I said in our Fantasy Baseball Forums, “Atkins is a 17/80 player outside of Coors and he could get traded. There’s lots of third basemen that would be an upgrade over him even if he stays in Coors. He’s more the player he was in 2008 than he was in 2006.” And that’s me quoting me! I go on to talk about how his OPS keeps dipping and his Away OPS is the “craps.” In certain situations, Atkins may be a keeper for you (think real deep leagues where you have limited choices), but, for most, Atkins is not a fantasy baseball keeper for 2009. Anyway, here’s some more keepers or players to not keep for your fantasy baseball team in 2009:

KEEP

Aaron Hicks – This is a very deep league keeper, but I just had to write his name. Aaron Hicks…. Look at that, I just wrote it again. It may not be until 2010 or even 2011, but in deep leagues that holds minor leaguers, Aaron Hicks is a keeper. He’s going to be a young Daryl Strawberry (minus the coke), according to Baseball America. (They didn’t mention the coke part.)

Logan Morrison – Logan Morrison is a raw, powerful first baseman. Member how the Marlins shipped off Jacobs to make room for Cantu? Well, don’t expect Cantu to stay around that long. His salary might go above one million at some point. Marlins have no problem promoting people so keep your eye on Morrison for 2009, and, in deep keeper leagues, he’s a good one to hold onto.

DON’T KEEP

Michael Young – As far as empty average doodes go, Young isn’t that bad. Then again, a sudden heart attack isn’t a bad way to die either, but you’re still dead if you catch my drift.

Cameron Maybin, Keeper

Grey — Fri, 07 Nov 2008 07:11:09 +0000

Here’s another 2009 Fantasy Baseball Keeper post so that could mean only one thing — it’s Friday! Before we get into today’s keeper post, page yourself to the front desk so your boss thinks you’re doing something. Nice. Okay, now that John Q. Walmart is out of your hair, let’s look at the Marlins centerfielder, Cameron Maybin. Is he Hanley Ramirez in the OF? That would turn your fantasy baseball team up a notch, wouldn’t it? What, you can’t get behind an Emeril reference? Whatevs. Maybin is an unrefined five-tool stud. Sorta like a young Burt Reynolds. You want speed? Yeah, Maybin’s got that. As Josh Hamilton may have once said at gunpoint, “I swear to you, he has speed!” Maybin could end up leading off for the Marlins, pushing Hanley to the three hole. This would be ideal for Maybin’s fantasy owners. Yo, G.A., Maybin have any power? Yup, but it’s still developing. In 2009, fifteen to twenty home runs may be (hehe) too much to ask from Maybin, but there’s a chance that he could be a 10/50 guy, much like Jacoby Ellsbury in 2008. Past 2009, Maybin could become a 25/50 guy or Hanley in the outfield. That makes Maybin one of the top keepers for 2009. Anyway, here’s some more keepers or players to not keep for your fantasy baseball team in 2009:

KEEP

Dallas McPherson – Hey, it’s Marlins Day! Hey, Marlins Day, say hi to your mother for me. When the Marlins GM was asked how they are going to make up for the power they lost with the Jacobs trade, you know what he said? Hire Canseco as their strength and conditioning coach? No, silly. He said, McPherson would see playing time at 3rd. He’s got piz-op.

Matt Holliday – This might seem obvious to some, but I’ve heard some people panicking over these swirling Holliday trade rumors. If Holliday does leave Coors, his value takes a hit but there’s time to cross that bridge. With the Phils or Mets, he’ll still have solid lineups around him. We’ll figure out his fantasy worth if he is indeed traded, until then hold onto him.

DON’T KEEP

Rafael Furcal – I’m sure someone will overpay this offseason for Furcal’s services. (I’ve heard the A’s are interested. When did they come into money? Did Billy Beane’s rich Auntie die?) Furcal pulled a Kotchman in 2008 and I wouldn’t bank on him bouncing back in 2009. Maybe Beane just likes the idea of an injury-prone shortstops — See Crosby, Bobby.

Evan Longoria Keeper?

Grey — Fri, 31 Oct 2008 05:24:58 +0000

You just lost the Word Series. Curl up into a ball and cry. Aw, baby’s crying. There’s no crying in fantasy baseball! Actually, there is. Prolly more than in real baseball. I carried a hanky around during every Harang start in 2008. Wait, this is about Longoria. Longoria a keeper? As they say in Fargo, you betcha. He missed two weeks in the beginning of the season because the Rays were dragging their feet, then he missed a month at the end with a broken wrist. I know where your hesitation might lie — the Derrek-Lee-broken-wrist-loss-of-all-power factor. Luckily, Longoria’s wrist injury came in a place that should heal fine and have no lingering effects, according to the Disabled List Informer. The power he displayed when he returned from injury and in the postseason backs this up. Anyway, here’s some more keepers or players to not keep for your fantasy baseball team in 2009:

KEEP

Joey Devine – People thought Brian Dunkleman and Ryan Seacrest were both necessary. They weren’t. Watch as Devine Seacrests Ziegler. Or will it be Ziegler Dunklemaning Devine? Don’t you hate when your own shizz confuses you? Hmm… Maybe none of that makes sense. Well, as the Talking Heads said, Stop Making Sense. (BTW, this winter will be the winter of Devine. I’m going to push him hard — not literally that would be battery.)

Stephen Drew – Sorry, 2009 will be known as the Winter of Devine and Drew. Can you feel the excitement? I can’t hear you. No, really I can’t. You’re reading and I’m typing. What would I hear?

DON’T KEEP

Brad Ziegler – This shizz will become more clear when 2009 spring training starts, but I highly doubt Ziegler is the closer in 2009. So if you must make a decision right now, don’t keep him. He’s getting Dunkleman’d! Hmm… Still not making sense.

Miguel Tejada – Since I put a young potential SS keeper above, I figured I’d put Te-nada here, although no one’s really even considering keeping this schmohawk. I know that.

Ryan Ludwick Keeper?

Grey — Fri, 24 Oct 2008 06:40:35 +0000

A commenter back in April or May or one of them spring months told us that Ryan Ludwick went by The Queen’s Assassin when he was down in the minors. The Queen’s Assassin was a nod to Ludwig from The Naked Gun — “I must kill the Queen…” You know what having a Minor League nickname means? It means doooode was in the minors forever. Long enough to watch The Last Emperor. In 2008, Ludwick went from minor league journeyman to a late blooming flower. Or some shizz romantic. So what will Ludwick do in 2009? 80/32/95/.265. What, too direct? You were expecting me to beat around the bush? Nah, kid. That ain’t how Grey do. Bee-tee-dubya, Grey does talk about himself in the third person like Suede from Project Runway (he was robbed!). Ludwick’s average was a mirage, his power is for real. He can kill it like TJ Lavin. So if you want Andruw Jones circa 2002, The Queen’s Assassin would be a keeper for 2009. Unless! (Don’t you hate unlesses?) Unless Pujols is injured or elects for some sort offseason surgery, then we would need to reevaluate. Anyway, here’s some more keepers or players to not keep for your fantasy baseball team in 2009:

KEEP

Josh Hamilton – Yeah, he’s injury-prone. And anime is only understood by the stoned or schizophrenic. So what’s your point?

Carlos Lee – This wasn’t a career-ending injury. Doode’s pinkie was hurt. Chillax and keep him.

DON’T KEEP

Magglio Ordonez – He’s a soon-to-be 35-year-old, 20 home run, .300 average hitter. One could argue that Magglio Ordonez is a better bet than Ludwick to be productive, but one could also argue OJ’s innocence. Doesn’t make it right.

Ryan Garko – Okay, V-Mart’s hurt so we’re going to play you and see what you have. 14 home runs in almost 500 at-bats? Hmm… No, thanks. We’d call you Matt Stairs Jr. but, you sir, are no Matt Stairs.

Howie Kendrick Keeper?

Grey — Fri, 17 Oct 2008 05:33:47 +0000

Or as someone with the first name Howie would call him, Howie Shmendrick. (In case, Sandy Koufax isn’t reading this to you, I’ll run down some baseball Yiddish. Erick and Willie Aybar are mishpochah, Manny Ramirez is meshuge, and Kendrick is a shmendrick.) Let’s breakdown the MI food chain. Placido Polanco is yawnstipating. Jeff Keppinger is Blanco Polanco. Howie Kendrick is wack. This year Kendrick finished with 43/3/37/.306/11. Not very impressive numbers, but he was injured for the better part of the year, only registering 340 at-bats. The problem is, Howie Kendrick is injury prone — Oops, I said it! — and may only get 340 at-bats in 2009, too. Now Kendrick does hit for a high average (In. Expli. Ca. Bly. Since he walked only 12 times all year), but it’s proving to be a very hollow average so far in his Major League career. He hasn’t sniffed double digit power yet and his speed is fine by a Carlos Lee standards, but as a light-hitting 2nd baseman, he better be stealing more than 11 a year — injury or not. So, each keeper league is obviously different, but my recommendation is to not keep Howie Kendrick. Anyway, here’s some more keepers or players to not keep for your fantasy baseball team:

KEEP

Max Scherzer – Jobacum’s already been covered in a Scherzer Keeper post, but I have news to update. According to the Diamondbacks, Scherzer will only be a starter from here on out. To keep the Yiddish theme going, no more putzing around for Scherzer in middle relief. Mazel tov! If that news causes you to have an erection for longer than four hours, it’s understandable. So far, Scherzer has looked extremely sharp in the Arizona Fall League.

Delmon Young – Maybe it’s his bravado, maybe it’s his attitude, maybe they’re the same things. Either way, I feel Alive with Pleasure like a Newport anticipating what Delmon can do in 2009. Anyone who could hit 30 home runs and steal 20 should get you excited.

Joba Chamberlain – Joba Rules say he is ‘officially’ going to be a starter in 2009. This is according to Hankenstein, Cashman, Girardi, Joba and Penny Marshall. This will ‘officially’ change seventeen times during the offseason.

DON’T KEEP

Mark DeRosa – Do you know how fast a .280/20/80 2nd baseman loses his value? Ask Mark Ellis.

Jayson Werth – Werth had a good year, no doubt. Twenty-twenty outfielder who hits .273 has value in all leagues. What about an outfielder who hits 15 home runs, steals 10 and hits .260? That’s like Randy Winn with dysentery.

Markeeperkis

Grey — Fri, 10 Oct 2008 06:19:12 +0000

On the Greek isle of Fantasia Baseballikis they have a proverb, “Never give up on a fantasy baseball player until he reaches full maturity and never spit in a woman’s face unless her mustache is on fire.” Let’s tackle the first half first, shall we? In 2008, Marakakis went 106/20/87/.306/10. These numbers won’t necessarily blow you away, until you realize in 2009 Markakis will only be 25 years old. Yes, he’s still ascending the escalator of Fantasy Baseball Worth. Hopefully he won’t get off until he reaches 2nd round value. His splits are promising. Against lefties, he hit .297, .310 vs. righties, .282/.330 Home/Away splits, almost even on Day/Night splits and .301 Pre-All-Star break and .313 Post. His 2nd half steals are a concern, as he stole only one base as opposed to nine steals in the first half. Maybe he only steals five next year, or maybe he steals 15. (Any player whose game is not steals can’t be relied on to ever steal more than 15.) The aspect of Markakis’s game that really needs to step up is his power. As of right now, I’d hope for 30 home runs, but wouldn’t expect more than 25 in 2009. So why am I suggesting you keep Markakis for 2009? His power is still developing and his walks are up. Throw in a five tools skill set and you have the makings of a great one. I am Sparkakis! As for the 2nd half of that aforementioned Greek proverb, it’s a good rule of thumb, but make sure you’re not spitting Ouza. Anyway, here’s some more fantasy baseball keepers to keep and not keep for next season:

KEEP

Alexei Ramirez – He’s a premenopausal Alfonso Soriano.

Hunter Pence – The dealer’s showing 25 HRs, 10 steals and a .275 average. That’s a push.

DON’T KEEP

Ryan Doumit – Doumit ranked #4 on the top 20 catcher list for 2008. You know what? He could come in number one next year, I still don’t think you should keep him. He’s not going to be overvalued at the drafts so you can get him back if you want and he’s injury-prone. Reggie Roby his ass.

David DeJesus – If he stays healthy, he could be Yunel Escobar. I’ll take one small bleh with a side order of bleh-bleh.

The Many Faces of Carl Crawford

Grey — Fri, 26 Sep 2008 18:45:41 +0000

Guess what, ya’ll? Carl Crawford is going to hit 40 home runs and steal, like, 60 bases and hit over .350. Carl Crawford will also win the Roberto Clemente Award and the Rolaids Relief Man of the Year Award for his relief work off and on the field. Or so went the many years of ‘pert predictions for Carl Crawford. Then each season came and went and Crawford’s respective home run tallies look like this: 11, 15, 18, 11 and 8. Not exactly the development of power that people expected. (Show you care, take ‘roids!) So can Crawford be relied on as a keeper? Definitely. (Of course, depending on the circumstances.) Will Crawford develop the power that has been lusted after for so long? Doesn’t look that way. 20 home runs might be his ceiling, but ten to fifteen home runs with forty steals gives him solid keeper value. Now for this week’s keeper post I’m going to look at some guys that are more or less Carl Crawford. Anyway, here’s some more fantasy baseball keepers to keep and not keep for next season:

Psyche! Before we get into that, I wanted to point out a scheduling adjustment. Fridays used to be our weekly Buy/Sell. Well, that’s gone for the offseason and keepers will now be on Friday. As they say in Jamaica — carry on (your head)!

KEEP

Jacoby Ellsbury – Profiles as a Cheap Carl Crawford, which can also be expressed as, “No way, Longoria! You ate so much more than me. We’re not splitting the check evenly.”

Matt Kemp – Can be what the ‘perts always thought Carl Crawford would be, so Matt Kemp is a Best Case Scenario Carl Crawford — a number three hitter who hits twenty-five home runs and steals forty bases. Otherwise known as “Carl Crawford wearing his big boy pants.”

Alexis Rios – Rios performed almost exactly like an Underperforming Carl Crawford. Though next year, Rios could easily produce more home runs and less steals making him a candidate for the Looked Like an Underperforming Carl Crawford Last Year and This Year He Looks Like Corey Hart. (If you don’t have to read that last sentence more than once, then you’ve smoked too much pot in your life.)

DON’T KEEP

Ichiro Suzuki – A Japanese Carl Crawford. I don’t think Ichiro will be completely unusable, but he stole 9 bases in the 2nd half this year and hit 3 home runs. Imagine if he hits ten home runs, steals twenty-five and hits .320 next year, would that be something you’d be interested in?

Milton Bradley – An Angry, Injury-Prone Carl Crawford that will stick a hot poker into your eye if you say anything bad about him, then he will burn his little pinkie with that same poker and miss a month of the season without ever going on the DL.

Fo’ Shoppach

Grey — Thu, 18 Sep 2008 18:23:04 +0000

Your man, Grey, loves a piece of cheap tail like Ice Cube loves a nappy dugout. (In fact, I might love cheap tail more. This is totally debatable between Ice Cube and I. Anytime you want to grab a podium, Cube, and go word for word. Bring. It.) If you’re in a keeper league (or any league for that matter), you probably got Shoppach for the price of a Capri Sun with a missing straw, but you’re probably thinking, “Well, this year was nice. How about I dunk him back into the free agent pool cause he’s a catcher and a fluky one at that?” Yo, check yo’self before ya wreck yo’self, fool. “So you’re saying Shoppach’s a dream keeper?” Nah, this shizz is neither black nor white. It’s Grey, son. This year isn’t as fluky as you might think. In his last full year of Triple-A, Shoppach showed power hitting 26 home runs. His current .270 average is a bit fluky though. That will come down a bit and with Victor Martinez lurking on the team, Shoppach could be the recipient of a quick hook in ’09. All of this portends to less value for Shoppach. Not to mention, keeping catchers is a risky and not usually a fruitful exercise. So why keep Shoppach? Because a $1 catcher who could easily hit 20 HRs is a bargain, no matter how you slice your keeper pie. Anyway, here’s some more keepers to keep and not keep for next season:

KEEP

Nate McLouth – Was not a Hirame (that’s a whitefish in a sushi bar, usually fluke). McLouth is a solid bet next year for 20/20/.270. We shall call him, Lastings McHunter.

Chad Billingsley – (<–Early 2009 Cy Young pick. Then again I picked Bedard and Peavy for this year. Hmmm… Anyway!) Billingsley has about a K/IP, he’s cut his walks, he plays in a cavernous caverny cavern thing, he plays a majority of his games against the Padres, Giants and the Diamondhacks, his team should provide offense for wins, he’s going into his third year in ’09 which is usually the time starters come into their own and he’s only going to be 24 at the start of 2009. Holy heffin’ hey! I will be gushing further this offseason, but right now I have to change my sock.

DON’T KEEP

Jose Valverde – As with anything in fantasy baseball, there’s a time and a place for anything. Is there a time and a place to keep Valverde? Perhaps. I’m having a hard time deciding when that time and place would be. If your other choices are Willy Aybar and Freddy Sanchez? Then, yeah, I keep this schmohawk. If you think keeping a closer who could explode at any moment is a good move, then I got a $400 million dollar bridge to sell you.

James Loney – In the preseason, I was briefly excited about this schmohawk. Why? I haven’t the foggiest. Maybe when I go over my 2009 predictions in the offseason someone can say, “Hey, Grey, Mark Grace looks at Loney and says Loney looks a lot like me, but with less power. And that’s me reminding you!” (BTW, The Hardball Times took a look back at first basemen and used our rankings to compare and contrast. Color me awesome. We will also be taking a look back in the offseason to compare and contrast ourselves against ourselves. Will the mirror be kind? Stay tuned…)

Quentin Time

Grey — Thu, 11 Sep 2008 20:00:23 +0000

I liked Carlos Quentin going into spring of ’07. Whoa! You got the wrong year there, buddy? No, no I didn’t. I drafted Quentin in lots of leagues in ’07 because of his .940 OPS in the minors. He looked like the real deal. Had pizz-ower, spizz-eed and a good iz-eye. (If Jay-Z plays fantasy baseball, he’s so going to be searching Google for some pizz-ower and spizz-eed.) With a spot in Arizona’s outfield locked up, this guy, Quentin, was going to be a superstar. Then ’07 happened and Quentin was eating from a container of I Can’t Believe It’s Not Better. Then, this season, he finally started to live up to his promise… Wait, what is this? Carlos Quentin, This Is Your Life? You know the deal, he hit well this year. But now he has a fractured wrist. As long as he doesn’t have a setback in the post-season or off-season, I’m liking Quentin. This year was not a fluke. Anyway, here’s some more fantasy baseball keepers for ’09:

Alexei Ramirez – Nothing for nothing, but he wasn’t supposed to be good. He’s about to be a Latin 27, but I’ve often remarked (I’m a remarker, ya’ll!) that he looks a bit like Alfonso Soriano. Just be careful about who you keep Alexei Ramirez over. Remember Angel Berroa won a Rookie of the Year with eerily similar numbers. (BTW, why can’t anything ever be eerily different? Olbermann and O’Reilly are eerily different, right?)

Kevin Slowey – I try to stay away from keeping pitchers. In certain leagues or certain keeper teams, it’s unavoidable. Then there’s pitchers I actually want to keep; Kevin Slowey is one. This is the 2nd year in a row that Slowey’s trending in the right direction. Not only are his HRs coming down (literally — oofa!) but his Ks are going up. He used to be compared favorably to Radke, he may just pass those expectations. I will tout him more this winter, possibly building a Slowey shrine (from the scraps of my knocked-down Alex Gordon shrine).

Steven Pearce – On Tuesday, Pearce finally flashed some power for the Pirates that he’s shown plenty of in the minors. To burrow an Austrailian phrase, he can wombat with the best of them. (Yes, I meant to write burrow. It’s a pun, people!)

Gathering Dustin

Grey — Thu, 04 Sep 2008 18:46:35 +0000

For only the most wicked pissas, I’d considah Pedroia, a can of Budwisah and a replay of Doug Flutie at the Orange Bowl. For heaven, throw-in a hot broad and a Dunkin’ Donuts Coolatta. For Nahvana, I’m doing this in the same room as Denis Leary, Cam Neely and Pesky. But we can’t all be Massholes, so we look if Dustin Pedroia is a legit keeper and not just a wicked awesome keepah. In the forums, there was some discussion about whether Dustin Pedroia was a better keeper than Corey Hart. In early June, I said Corey Hart, easily. As you’ll see from that discussion, Pedroia wasn’t even that commenter’s second choice for who to keep. Two months later, Pedroia’s now batting fourth for the Sawx and he has as many home runs as David Ortiz. He’s a legit MVP candidate if you don’t pronounce your Rs. But can’t Pedroia be a keeper? Definitely for some people’s teams. His average should come down because of a high BABIP and the power might not be quite this strong next year, but at his position, he’s definitely a keeper. Just not against Corey Hart. Anyway, here’s some other fantasy baseball keepers for 2009:

Billy Butler – 7 HRs and is batting .318 since the All-Star break. (That’s 3 1/2 HRs for each moob.) I don’t think he’s going to be a 30/.300 guy next year, but as a deep league keeper, I like Butler.

B.J. Upton – But, um, he like had no homers this year? He’s young as dog balls and his swing is sweet. Or sweeeeeeet as you might say if you wanted to emphasis it but not go through the trouble of just thinking up a better word.

Josh Fogg – Psyche! Just making sure you’re paying attention.

Joey Votto – I already talked about how Votto was a solid keeper. Actually I talked about how he was Barbara Hershey and Jay Bruce was Bette Midler as they reenact the movie, Beaches, but you get my drift.

September Call Ups

Grey — Fri, 29 Aug 2008 05:48:49 +0000

Usually on Friday we do our Buy and Sell feature, but with September 1st knocking on August’s door — August 31st is that you? Uh… No. August 30th? Nope. August 32nd? No, you nitwit! It’s September 1st! – it’s time we looked at September call ups. These are potential September call ups that will, should, could and potentially make or not make a difference in fantasy baseball. So take a drag on that Newport cause Razzball’s Alive With Pleasure with September call ups. Anyway, here’s some potential September call ups to keep your eye on for fantasy baseball:

Max Scherzer and Mat Gamel - Both mentioned in the other day’s fantasy baseball keeper post. Jobacum will get the call; Gamel will more than likely not.

Joe Koshansky – Corner guy for the Rockies. Some pop + Coors = Hall of Fame career? Perhaps. This offseason, Helton (who?) or Atkins or both will be on their way out, which could open some room for Koshansky. NL-Only’ers and keepers should toss a few bucks Koshansky’s way. (BTW, Koshanky, Iannetta and Tulowitzki sounds like an immigration law firm. Or the last surviving immigrants who orginally arrived on Ellis Island.)

Colby Rasmus – LaRussa says Rasmus is not getting the call up. Was he sober when he said this? You make the call!

David Price – A) I don’t think he’s ready to start in the big leagues. B) The Rays staff is filled. C) The Rays are a super-conservative team with prospects. Look for Price in ’09.

Travis Hafner – Well, there’s a rookie name! If you have room on your DL, you can continue to hold him, but he’s missed three games this week in the minors due to shoulder soreness. Let’s not forget the comatose Indians fan who woke to see the Indians backup catcher with 17HRs and think the team was doing well. You may get Pronk’d!

Shaun Marcum – You’re familiar with his issues. You should avoid until TBD.

Brandon Wood -Here’s someone I really like when he gets called up (it will be a bit late because of playoffs for his minor league team). Scioscia will probably bench his regulars here and there when they clinch so he should be able to wedge Wood into the lineup.

Chris Ray – Soon Tommy John surgery will be an outpatient procedure. Bonkers, I tell ya. Absolutely bonkers.

Jerry Owens – Only seeing playing time late in the year if there’s an injury or the Sox clinch with room to spare. Still SAGNOF.

Adam Jones – Another “not really a call up,” but should be back burning jays by next week.

Jason Pridie – Twins prospect/outfielder who might get called up. Has some speed and power. Decided to drop trou and take a dump on his Triple-A production this year. That’s not an endorsement.

Jay Gibbons – His possible reappearance couldn’t even get Dame Jane Goodall’s nipples hard.

Jordan Schafer – As I mentioned the other day, Wren says the Braves will not call up Schafer. Stay tuned… Or not. Or yacht. Or…huh?

Brad Nelson – Needs to get out of the ginormous shadow of Prince Fielder if he’s going to have any chance for success.

Jeff Larish – Already been called up to replace Carlos Guillen. He has pop, but a liability on average. Should be on AL-Only keeper teams already, and worth the flier if he isn’t. Yo, that shizz is Larish!

Cameron Maybin – If he’s not owned in NL-Only leagues already and keepers, he should be. His floor is Mike Cameron. His ceiling is Derrek, who’s this kid I went to high school with that hit something like .790 with 20 HRs and 40 steals in just under 30 games. It was unreal.

J.R. Towles – Casual Reader of this site, “Hey, I drafted him!” Well, don’t go picking him back up.

Blake DeWitt – Mentioned him the other day, in the Ryan Zimmerman fantasy prediction
post-a-roo-ski.

Jon Niese – Supposedly getting the start for Maine on Sept. 2nd or August 33rd for those that don’t want August to end. If the start goes well, you might see more of Niese (BTW, no relation to Eric Nies).

Phil Hughes – For of youse out there with Bobby Meacham pillow cases and “Kiss Me I Got Jeter’s Autograph” t-shirts don’t do it. Put down that Hughes for this year.

Matt Murton – If he doesn’t get the call then The Federation For Equal Treatment of Gingies may have to step in. (That’s definition #2, btw.)

Steve Pearce – I pimped out my merkin with words of praise for Pearce earlier in the year, but he showed everything that Pittsburgh touches turns to Jack Wilson.

Andrew McCutchen – Can’t someone hire Bobby Bonilla to give an inspiration speech about how the Pirates were once good?

Brandon Morrow – I’ve covered him already. I’ll save you a sidebar search. I’m not buying into him for September.

Nadir Bupkus – The future of the San Diego Padres franchise.

The Regurgitation of Jobacum

Grey — Thu, 28 Aug 2008 18:59:01 +0000

When Max Scherzer was first called up, he was dubbed Jobacum by Razzballers because of his uncanny resemblance to Joba Chamberlain and Tim Lincecum or maybe it was because the name Jobacum made me giggle. Either way, in Jobacum’s cup of coffee earlier this year, he impressed. If Petit should falter, Jobacum will slide right into his rotation spot. This isn’t a foregone conclusion. Petit has looked good and it’s not necessarily a hirame. Petit was a highly ranked prospect while in the Mets farm system. Some of the shine has come off of Petit, but he’s still only 23. Jobacum may simply return as the long reliever he left as. Don’t let that influence your decision on whether to keep Scherzer for 2009. Or Petit for that matter. If you think Webb and Haren seem impressive right now, wait until Jobacum and Petit are in the ’09 rotation. Anyway, here’s some more fantasy baseball keepers for 2009:

Jose Arredondo – I don’t usually recommend keeping closers and this name is a bit out off left field — literally! (Because their bullpen is in left– Oh, forget it.) But K-Rod is putting together the ultimate cash-in season. He won’t be returning to close for the Angels. They might turn to Shields, but I think Arredondo’s the kind of youngster Scioscia will look to, barring any fatal meltdown in the playoffs. (No, that wasn’t an allusion to Donnie Moore. That’s just wrong.) In AL-Only leagues, you might get yourself a top closer for a couple of bucks.

Chris Dickerson – The fact the Reds brought him up already tells me they are committed to giving him a go of it. (Do you wanna have a go at it? He said, do you wanna have a go at it!? Sorry, but that’s just about my favorite scene from any movie and I’d be impressed if you recognize it. Random!)

Mat Gamel – Ryan Braun, The Hebrew Hammer, hits for average, power and butchered plays at 3rd base. Well, Gamel can slug with the best of them and plays 3rd like Jenny McCarthy in a celebrity softball game. Not to mention, his name is almost Gimel, which is the third letter of the Hebrew alphabet. The similarities are endless!

Brandon Wood – Conversely, I started with Jobacum and ended with Wood.

Whose Arm Can Dusty Abuse More Next Year?

Grey — Thu, 21 Aug 2008 19:15:07 +0000

This week we’re starting a new weekly column that will be here every Thursday, it will be all about fantasy baseball keepers. Since many fantasy baseball keeper leagues don’t decide on their keepers until the start of the new season, I figured I’d go over some fantasy baseball keepers from now until next spring. If you can remember all the way back to February, Hillary Clinton was headed for the Presidency, the Indiana Jones trilogy hadn’t yet been ruined and Cueto was better than Volquez. Well, we know what happened on the way to the Prom. In a surprise move, Volquez was asked by the Head Cheerleader and went from total geek to total chic. Meanwhile, someone shit Cueto’s house. Unfortunately, at the Prom, someone noticed Volquez was actually doing the African Anteater Dance and not some cool hip dance that he just extemporaneously (Word of the Day) came up with, while Cueto went back to mowing lawns, saved a few dorks and eventually received a slow clap from the whole league.

In the minors, Cueto averaged over a K/IP and his walk rate was sick. (That’s sick as in very healthy, not sick as in sick.) Volquez was not the better pitcher coming into the year because of his wildness. Unusable wild? No, he showed that in the beginning of this year. Now, as the year comes to a close, Edinson/Edison/Julio Reyes is taking the slow Green Mile walk to a 3.00 ERA, while Cueto has quietly strung together some quality starts. So don’t be shocked if next year Cueto has more value than Volquez next year. Anyway, here’s some more fantasy baseball keepers for ’09:

Andy LaRoche – Who know how JD Drew kinda made you want to draft Stephen Drew even though Stephen hasn’t shown too many signs? Well, reverse that shizz for the LaRoches. Andy’s better than his schmohawk older brother.

Jeff Franceour – I’m just not convinced it’s over for this dooode. If you’re out of it in your NL-Only keeper and you can get Frenchy for very cheap, like, one dollar cheap. I’d do it. Not a huge endorsement, but he’s still young.

Alexei Ramirez – Sometimes you have to watch a guy to fall fully in love with him. Well, I watched Alexei. He looks like premenopausal Alfonso Soriano.

Adam Lind – The dealer’s showing Pat Burrell. That’s a push.