Here, friend, are some catchers that I will be targeting at my 2012 fantasy drafts after the top options are gone. I’m not going to get into the strategy of punting catchers. Been there, half-drunkenly wrote that. Click on the player’s name where applicable to read more and see their 2012 projections. This is a (legal-in-most-countries) supplement to the top 20 catchers of 2012 fantasy baseball. Now, guys (and four girl readers), I am not saying avoid catchers like Wieters, J.P. Arencibia, et al (which is not the Israeli airline). To get on this list, you need to be drafted later than 200 overall. And, to preemptively answer at least seven comments, yes, I will go around the entire infield, outfield and pitchers to target very late. Anyway, here’s some catchers to target for 2012 fantasy baseball:
Devin Mesoraco – I’m not saying Ryan Hanigan will be the starter because it will be easier for Dusty Baker to spell on the scorecards. Okay, I am saying that. Even with my concern that Hanigan will be the starter, I’d draft Mesoraco as a flyer to see if he breaks camp with the team and steals enough ABs to be valuable. Remember, Mesoraco could be Jesus Montero in a better ballpark. To translate that into Pig Latin: E pluribus unum piggy jowls en Cincy es muy bueno.
Chris Iannetta – The Sciosciapath has Bobby Wilson, ye of a 2 homer power and a .206 career average, backing up Iannetta… So Iannetta probably will only get 350 at-bats and be replaced every 3rd inning for defense. I’m only half joking. It’s up to you to figure out which half.
Wilson Ramos – I wonder if his kidnappers wore catcher’s masks. I wonder if they were motivated at all by watching the movie, Celtic Pride. I wonder if they kidnapped Ramos because they were just big fans of Jesus Flores. I wonder if before they grabbed Ramos they gave each other the steal sign. I got questions, y’all!
Jarrod Saltalamacchia – I was talking to a friend recently and they reminded me of a word I used to say all the time — beyotchabatukis. It’s pronounced like beyotch-a-bah-tukis. It’s someone you can’t stand who you deal with because they offer you something of greater importance than your general hatred of them. That guy that always refer to you as “kid” but can get you into a club for free? Total beyotchabatukis. I’d say a cheap catcher that can offer you some cheap power would be one, so Saltalamacchia is a beyotchabatukis. It’s not in the dictionary, don’t try to use it in Words With Friends.
Russell Martin – He seems like he’s about 47 years old, but he’s only 29 and he just came off a season where he went 18/8. Hey, I’m not a fan either, but you don’t need to be a cyclops with a monocle to see his value with an ADP in the 300’s.
Ryan Doumit – I’m most excited to draft Doumit this year. Sure, it’s compared to Saltymochachino and Martin, but still. If he can somehow get 400 ABs he could easily be a top 7 catcher for all the kingdom of baseball and its giant PED moat.
Salvador Perez – Part of me is surprised I didn’t write any sleeper posts about these guys except Devin Mesoraco. Another part of me doesn’t think anyone wants to read a whole post about a catcher who I project for 10 homers. I just vomited in my mouth, then swallowed it and burped out, “Salvador Perez.”
Josh Donaldson – Who? Is this Sam Donaldson’s crossdressing son? No, Random Italicized Voice, this is Scott Sizemore’s 3rd base replacement. So why is he in the catchers to target? Because he has catcher eligibility in CBS, Yahoo and ESPN. Scott Sizemore’s knee is like Tom Sizemore’s life — needs serious rebuilding. With him out for the year, Josh Donaldson is the favorite to play 3rd. In Triple-A, he had some huge numbers — 17 homers, 13 steals. Those numbers would be terrific, but probably unrealistic. I’ll give him 50/12/60/.240/7 in 500 ABs. Sounds like blech with a side of belch, but in two catcher leagues he could pay dividends. He could even out-produce Suzuki. Wait, can he bend in his dress? It’s not the same person.