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Mike Carp is hitting .350 since July 1st.  (Thereabouts, I did the math in my head.  At least I think it was my head.  Hmm…)  Carp only has 4 homers, but now has two homers in the last 4 games.  He’s also hit in 11 straight games.  Finally… There’s no finally, isn’t the first three positives enough?  Mama mia, I don’t love Mariner hitters in Safeco.  It’s smothering!  In the minor leagues, he was great but it was in the PCL so divide his power by three and add a negative two.  But while Carp’s hitting, he’s worth an add across most leagues, and not just for pescetarians.  Anyway, here’s what else I saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:

Salvador Perez – Royals catcher prospect was called up.  He has the most surreal pitch signals.  “Is that a melted clock — oh, a changeup!”

Melky Cabrera – 2-for-3, 5 RBIs and his 14th homer.  Playing centerfield, but his season is totally out of left field.

Johnny Giavotella – 2-for-4, hitting .318 in his short time in the majors.  Now we just need his cheering section to skip the wave and do the Fist Pump.

Arodys Vizcaino - On Tuesday, the lead was Hommy Tanson, yesterday it was Jason Heyward, so I just couldn’t highlight Vizcaino.  I like sweet tea and talking garbled as much as the next guy, but Northerners would’ve started wondering where my allegiances lie.  While Arodys looks like an IM acronym for Red Sox fans, “A-Rod, You Sahck,” he’s a big-time pitching prospect for the Braves.  He breezed through the minor leagues pushing a K-rate over 9, and can be an Aroldis Chapman-type out of the bullpen, but he is crazy young.  With Vizcaino, the Braves now have two minors on the pitching staff.  In all non-keepers, I’d ignore Arodys for now.  His innings are a bit high and the Braves will probably limit him this year.  In dynasty and deep keeper leagues, grab him; he could be special.

Tommy Hanson - Tests show his shoulder is healthy enough for his next start.  His last month of starts show the tests are wrong.

Dan Uggla - 3-for-5, 2 RBIs as he pushed his hitting streak to 31 games.  Or the same number of double takes someone who just woke from a coma would have if they saw he was hitting .224 with a 31 game hitting streak.

Jason Heyward – 0-for-5 with the start as Jose Constanza went 3-for-4 with a steal.  That’ll make things better.

Curtis Granderson – 2-for-3, 4 RBIs and his 30th and 31st homer.  A Curtis hasn’t hit such high notes since Booger Presley played the mean guitar.

Ivan Nova – 6 IP, 3 ER, 8 baserunners, 0 Ks.  Solid start, but how do you not strike out anyone?  That’s like a champale supernova.

J.J. Hardy – 4-for-5 with his 21st homer.  Sweet King Martin, Sweet Queen Coretta, Sweet Brother Hardy… Sweet Baby Jesus…

Adam Jones – 3-for-5 with his 21st homer.  Imma let you finish, but J.J. Hardy’s having the best Orioles season this year.

Adam Dunn – 0-for-4 with 3 Ks.  His average is down to .163.  He’s hitting half his weight!

Ubaldo Jimenez – 8 IP, 3 ER, 7 baserunners, 6 Ks.  After his less than adequate first start for the Indians, he’s lucky he turned things around or he would’ve been Uscalpedo.

Jason Kipnis – 5-for-5, 4 runs, 3 RBIs and his 6th homer.  Here’s a good rule of thumb, if I mention a guy in a positive way more than twice in a week, add him.  Kipnis has been mentioned about five times in the last week.

Brett Lawrie – 2-for-4, 4 RBIs and his 2nd homer in his last three games.  Definitely earning his Twitter hashtags.

Josh Willingham – 2-for-5 and his 3rd homer in 3 games.  Ended up on the A’s just because Jonah Hill likes pork, but it’s turning out okay.  While he’s hot, Willingham should be owned everywhere.

Jonathan Sanchez – 4 1/3 IP, 4 ER, 8 baserunners, 6 Ks.  Filthy Sanchez is looking a lot more like Port-A-Jon Sanchez.

Anibal Sanchez - 1 2/3 IP, 5 ER.  Should I Put A Diaper On My Fantasy Team Or Are You Done Defecating Sanchez?

Hanley Ramirez – Placed on the DL.  I’m sure he’ll do everything in his power to hurry back.  /sarcasm

Andrew McCutchen – 1-for-1, 4 runs and the delicious slam & legs.  Rudy hit me up on IM surprised to see The Dread Pirate only had 19 steals on the year.  I hit him back that I was surprised A-Gon only had 18 homers.  See, everything said in our IM chats isn’t really that interesting.

Jeff Karstens – 6 IP, 2 ER, 8 baserunners, 9 Ks.  His last start (3 1/3 IP, 9 ER) left the cow pie on the window sill too long so the stench probably scared most off from this start.

Derrek Lee – Scratched with a sore hand.  Well, stop scratching with it!

Vance Worley- 4 IP, 6 ER.  A Worley hasn’t been hit so hard since his grandmother Jo Anne got smacked in the face by an errant window on the set of Laugh-In.

Brennan Boesch – Left yesterday’s game with a thumb injury.  So where is thumbkin?  At the hospital getting an MRI.

Alex Cobb – Having season-ending surgery to clear blockage by his rib cage.  Operating on him is a specialist by the name of Eve.

Brandon Phillips – Will miss at least five days as he tweeted yesterday that his elbow looked like a balloon.  Then some clown turned his elbow into a giraffe.

Jay Bruce – 2-for-3 with his 2nd homer in three games.  Prediction:  His end of the year stats will look solid and everyone will forgot that he couldn’t hit the broad side of a barn for two months.

Kevin Millwood – 7 IP, 3 ER, 7 baserunners, 6 Ks.  Less than average starter who will pitch his home games in Coors.  Burp.

Jesus Guzman – 2-for-4, 2 steals.  So what’s your excuse for not picking him up?  You a non-believer?

Chad Billingsley – 4 1/3 IP, 2 ER, 10 baserunners and three unearned runs for the always agita inducing ticker shock.

Dee Gordon – To the DL with a bruised shoulder, which isn’t nearly as tasty as a braised shoulder.

Juan Rivera – 3-for-4, 4 RBIs and his 2nd homer on the Dodgers.  That makes him Dos Rivera.

Matt Kemp – 4-for-5 and his 30th steal.  He could be at 30/30 by the end of August.  He makes me feel like the only girl (in the world).  I’m pretty sure I grasp the use of parentheses as a way to modify, so what’s Only Girl (In the World) without the parentheses?  Only Girl?  “I wanna hear Only Girl!”  No, that makes no sense.  It should stand alone without the parentheses.  You can Bang a Gong or you can Bang a Gong (Get It On).  You’re forwarding your gong banging.  You are upping your excitement on the gong.  The Reaper is good, (Don’t Fear) The Reaper is adding something.  “Hey, (Don’t Fear) The Reaper.”  Now I’m at ease.  Only Girl means nothing!  You come for fantasy baseball advice, you stay for Rihanna rants.

67 Responses

  1. DANgerous says:
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    HAHAHAHA Loving the Kanye/Watch the Throne shout outs!

  2. Terrence Mann says:
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    Great work, as always.

    Have you been sitting on the Worley joke for a month, waiting for him to get shelled? Hehe. I think I have to disagree with the blurb. Clarence Worley got his ass whooped pretty hard by Drexel in True Romance.

  3. Bré Jus says:
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    The Bruce is loose

  4. Lines says:
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    Hey Grey, great round-up.

    Would you drop Worley at this point? Last few games make me think he’s a rookie pitcher wearing out a little. Would it make the decision easier if I said I had Morneau coming off the DL? That’s not a rhetorical question; I really don’t know what to expect from Morneau. Rest of my rotation: Lester, Kershaw, Morrow, Beachy, Stauffer, Danks.

    So very glad I jettisoned the Sanchezes when I did. You think if they joined together they could form a huge, inconsistent pitcher called Defecator?

    Thanks!

  5. jerm says:
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    which side ryan roberts j bay for B phillips Chisenhall

  6. Jermo says:
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    what should i do with heyward? hes burning a hole in my line-up

  7. Awesomus Maximus

    Awesomus Maximus says:
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    Will there be an addendum to Closer Look later today, announcing Soria’s successful transition from $12 Salad all the way to Brain Freeze? I don’t know who’s season has been more disappointing, Soria’s or CT’s (don’t worry, no spoilers).

  8. quimmy says:
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    I read somewhere that Kemp actually has 3 sb in his pocket that he did not get credit for yet. He stole 3 bases in a game against sd in april that hasnt been completed yet, it was postponed. Can anyone confirm or deny this?

  9. Oilcan Giuseppe says:
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    I dont want to complain too much about Ubaldo after a pretty nice start,but I thought his quote after the game was funny/annoying/dumb….”Im a more mature pitcher,I dont have to throw every pitch 98 or 99 MPH”.

    no,not EVERY pitch….but maybe a few?….It’s like when you get dumped and you tell your buddies “dude,whatever.She’s fat.I was gonna dump her anyway”.

  10. Child Please says:
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    12-team H2H 6×6 (OBP, QS)

    I need to drop a bat to pick up a spot starter…My team is well rounded, hurting in AVG and OBP the most…Who would you drop Eric Young, Bourjos, Boesch, or Morrison?

  11. Awesomus Maximus

    Awesomus Maximus says:
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    Someone at ESPN should introduce the Player Rater to the Undroppable List. Verlander (#1), Ellsbury (#5) and Granderson (#7) are all still droppable… but Youkilis (#100) is not. How many places does a player have to fall to lose the Undroppable tag?

    /checks Hanley

    Okay… around 185, it would seem.

  12. Oilcan Giuseppe says:
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    Grey:best option for UTL spot right now….Carp,JD Martinez,Constanza or Fowler?

  13. Awesomus Maximus

    Awesomus Maximus says:
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    @quimmy: From what I can tell, the only Dodgers game that was pending completion was a Friday, April 8th game that was called after four rain delays. Kemp had 3 hits (1 SB)… but that game was finished up on the 9th and another game was played immediate afterwards (in which Kemp had 3 hits and 3 SBs).

    The short answer… it doesn’t look like Kemp has any stats pending.

  14. golfnut says:
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    I’m toast this week…..first Dan Hudson and now Worley…..ERA over 13…..

  15. chata says:
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    narveson to the dl with a scissors cut to his left thumb that required 8 stitches .

    it begs the question ==> why was narveson holding the scissors in his
    right hand ?

  16. Scott says:
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    14 team dynasty league. Rebuilding mode and have given up for this year, and possibly next year (going real young).

    Would you pick up Jed Lowrie?

    If so, choose one to drop (note my starting pitching is very weak): Ian Desmond, Peter Bourjos, Austin Jackson, Josh Reddick, James McDonald, Garrett Richards, Jonathan Broxton, Johan Santana

  17. quimmy says:
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    @awesome: no doubt, thanks. there is something weird though bc if you look at his YTD stats and then check out his live statistics during a CBS or Yahoo or MLB gametracker, all season it has shown he has 3 more steals than his YTD stats does. weird.

  18. trick dad says:
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    hey grey, start chacin today @CIN in a 10 team h2h? what about 12 team h2h?

  19. Ryan says:
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    Is Aroyds going to be a starter in the MLB or is he more destined for the bullpen? ETA? and is he worth the #1 waiver in a dynasty league even with September call-ups still to come?

  20. Struggling with Heyward @ UTIL in a Keeper league that I will likely not retain his hype going into next season. In the midst of a tight race in this league with limited moves, would you recommend replacing him with Carp, Kipnis, Soriano, or Seth Smith? Or keep him around as an excuse for potentially finishing second. Thanks & GREAT post this AM!

  21. Josh says:
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    Its funny with the Bruce blurb. I had been benching him last week and was preparing to ask you when we can think about dropping him for an all out playoff push. Then he hits his first homer in forever on a short schedule day so I had him in my lineup, and I’ve left him in. In summary: Bruuuuuuuuuceee

  22. Tony says:
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    Hey Grey, great article!

    Would you take Alexei Ramirez or JJ Hardy at SS in a 10-team H2H pts league the rest of the way?

  23. Wilsonian says:
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    Pick 2 for now-ish/rest of season: Bourjos, Carp, Freese

  24. Eddy says:
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    I can only make one more SP add the rest of the week:

    Brett Cecil v. LAA

    or

    Eovaldi v. HOU

    Also, is Vizcaino an immediate add in holds leagues?

  25. chata says:
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    @trick dad:

    don’t think he can win at wrigley .
    may get rocked .

  26. Grey — With Morneau coming off the DL I have to drop one of my two stopgap 1B/UTIL guys: Derrek Lee or Garrett Jones. I know Lee’s a great second half performer, but he hasn’t been playing much and Jones is hot.

    The other alternative is to drop Reddick and use Jones in the OF.

    Who would you drop?

    And by the way, do you expect much from Morneau once he’s back?

    (This is in a 20-team redraft roto league)

  27. ChiliDavisConCarne says:
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    Anybody…
    Start YoGa today @ STL?
    Also, thinking of trading Kemp and Votto for Teix, Cruz and Marcum…thoughts?

  28. EK says:
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    Willingham or Trumbo for the ROS?

  29. CU says:
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    Get the sense Boesch going to miss signif time? In the midst of a playoff push next 3 weeks….. Replace him w Huff, Bay, Rasmus, Joyce, Hunter, or Soriano?

  30. @ Grey:
    “Adam Jones – 3-for-5 with his 21st homer. Imma let you finish, but J.J. Hardy’s having the best Orioles season this year.”

    Stop making me laugh out loud at work!!!!!

  31. Art Vandelay says:
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    Would you drop Billingsley at this point for Colon or Luebke (10 team 5×5 roto league)? C-Bills’ good starts have been few and far between.

    Also, as a Yankees fan in real baseball, the shockingly good season from Melky and the gushing over Vizcaino (traded for Javy Vazquez…awesome!) is a kick to the crotch. At least spread them out in the round-up, man.

  32. Awesomus Maximus

    Awesomus Maximus says:
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    @chata: Exactly… if he’d been using the green-handled scissors with the rounded tips like all mutants… or “lefties,” if you will) are supposed to, this never would have happened.

    @quimmy: Sounds like a bug with the way the tracker is handling April 9th… it’s not resolving the 3 SB from that day’s game because it conflicts with the finishing of the previous day’s game. The system can handle a double-header (obviously), but this was just a one inning (half inning?) affair right before the regularly scheduled game. I’m almost positive I’ve seen this type of issue before (this year, last year… can’t remember).

  33. Brad says:
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    Grey, does Eduardo Nunez play every day next year? Can he be as good as Andrus?

  34. Eng says:
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    Grey, you work is the best in the business and that isn’t idle brown nosing. With that out the way, I stupidly didn’t add KIPNIS last week when I had chance. I’m now offering OSWALT for him. So is giving Oswalt to get Kippa too much, or a decent offer? (my MI has been evil Aaron Hhill all year)

  35. Tony says:
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    @ grey, i dont know how many people got/get it, but nice Salvador Dali’ reference…

  36. Eng says:
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    A-Gon has only 18 homers….I had to go look that up to be sure. Craziness, I thought only Votto and Zimmerman were weak letdowns who made their owners rue passing on Tex and Fielder.

  37. Art Vandelay says:
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    @Brad: He won’t play every day for the Yankees, unless Jeter, A-Rod, or Cano gets hurt. Maybe if they trade him, but he is pretty awful in the field right now, so I’m not sure he sticks as a starting SS. Wouldn’t be better than Andrus in any category except HRs, most likely.

  38. lou says:
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    Hey grey I’m in desperate need for pitching I was offered F-Her and Gaby Sanchez for Votto and CJ Wilson. Its a 10 team redraft league. Should I take it, CJ has been my best pitcher this year.

  39. franknbeans says:
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    what r ur thoughts on wins as scoring cat? im trying to have qs replace wins as cat in a league, bc i dont like a cat that is very dependant on not only pitcher himself but team scoring enough. would like everyones thoughts agree/disagree

  40. quimmy says:
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    @awesome: makes sense, thx brutha

  41. Grey

    Grey says:
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    @DANgerous: Hehe

    @Terrence Mann: Hehe

    @Bré Jus: Yup

    @Lines: Ha! Yeah, lose him.

    @jerm: Phillips

    @Jermo: Bench him.

    @Awesomus Maximus: Soria was barely a donkeycorn last time out.

    @Oilcan Giuseppe: Ha! Seriously…

    @Child Please: Boesch

    @Awesomus Maximus: Ha

    @Oilcan Giuseppe: Martinez

    @chata: Weird

    @Scott: Richards

    @trick dad: No…Yes…

    @Ryan: Starter next year.

    @zombie: Kipnis… Thanks!

    @Josh: Nice

    @Tony: Thanks! Hardy…

    @Wilsonian: First two.

    @Eddy: Cecil…Sure…

    @Enrique: Lee…Not much.

    @ChiliDavisConCarne: Yes…Wouldn’t make that trade.

    @EK: Willingham

    @CU: Yes…Joyce

    @Kendrys Kart of Home Run: Thanks!

    @Art Vandelay: I’d hold. Sorry…

    @Brad: No

    @Eng: Thanks! It’s a bit much.

    @Tony: That was Rudy.

    @Eng: A-Gon has crazy runs, RBIs and average though.

    @lou: No

    @franknbeans: QS puts more emphasis on drafting pitchers, Wins is fluky but easier to see in the box score.

  42. Wake Up says:
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    re: Salvador Perez- lol…no really, I did.

    re: Hanley- take your time…no really, even more than usual, take it easy, no need to rush back, nos no te extrano….

    Lawrie, Kipnis or Jesus…which one for Util?

  43. Eddy says:
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    @franknbeans:

    QS is a nice category to have. I experimented with it last year (along with W) and I liked it, but my experience was dampened because there were 2-3 streamers all throughout the season that would lock up QS no matter what.

    Though I put a 7-move limit this year, I had to compromise and revert back to W as a result of switching out AVG for OBP (which everyone LOVES).

    Though it removes the fun of a vulture win from a reliever, QS is a nice route to go in a league where you’re certain there will be no streamers.

  44. Wake Up says:
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    @franknbeans: we use both W and QS and I think it is a nice balance…I wouldn’t want to use just one or the other…

  45. Rob says:
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    Is Dan Hudson droppable at this point?

  46. Santos says:
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    Keeper League, Top 3 best long term value? (in order):

    Dom Brown
    Trumbo
    Blanks
    Freeman
    Alvarez
    Carp
    Fowler

  47. Wilsonian says:
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    Trying to win now. Would you deal Lester and your 4th round pick (which is technically a 9th) for Latos/Ervin/Gardner and a 10th round pick (which is technically a 15th)? Need help in steals and OF, plus could add a couple decent arms to my rotation.

  48. Chillmodious says:
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    @Grey

    For my final utility spot… I grabbed Carp last night, but am considering dropping him for Constanza. Who would you rather have the rest of the way? (non-keeper and need for HR/steals is equal)

  49. curly_day says:
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    I am trading for either Kershaw or McCutechn to shore up my keepers – he is going for the title and i’m going for 4th place. Who do i want more as a keeper?

  50. Shin-Soo Choo Choo says:
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    Which of the following for 2 starts next week: Cecil, Morton, Esmil, Capuano?

    Thanks in advance.

  51. Feeding the Abscess

    Feeding the Abscess says:
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    @curly_day: Dread Pirate. Always favor hitting for keepers; pitching is way too volatile from year to year.

    Luebke is cooking up a Grey special. Aight ERA/WHIP, but delicious Ks.

  52. Scott says:
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    Thanks for the answer. Sorry to be a pain, but now someone wants Richards (apparently he has value) so who would be your next to drop out of the group? Ian Desmond, Peter Bourjos, Austin Jackson, Josh Reddick, James McDonald, Jonathan Broxton, Johan Santana

    Also, both Eric Young Jr. and Jed Lowrie available. Should I pick up one or both (and if both I guess list two of the above).

    Remember rebuilding dynasty league.

    Thanks for answering the questions though. This is one of the few sites where the writers reliably answer questions and its really a great thing in addition to the great content.

  53. Grey

    Grey says:
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    @Scott: No problem…. Broxton

  54. The Situation says:
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    @Grey: What’s up pal. Trade deadline is tomorrow and a new offer came across my desk this afternoon. 12 team/5×5 league.

    I get: Krispie and Lester
    I give: Zobrist and Yovi

    Categories needed (in order):
    1. Wins
    2. Steals
    3. RBIs
    4. WHIP

    Krispie has been atrocious lately and Zobrist has been very solid. While Gallardo has been exceptional and Lester only meh. This makes me lean toward rejecting, but I’ve got a feeling that accepting is the right move.

    Thoughts? Thanks in advance!

  55. Wilsonian says:
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    @Grey: back on that possible deal where I’m trying to win now. Would you deal Lester and your 2nd round pick (which is technically a 7th) for Latos/Ervin/Gardner and a 10th round pick (which is technically a 15th)? Need help in steals and OF, plus could add a couple decent arms to my rotation.

  56. Scott says:
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    And which two would you take in dynasty league: Jed Lowrie, Ian Desmond, Eric Young Jr., Aaron Hill

  57. Mike Stanton LVR says:
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    Booger Presley… Great call!

  58. Calogero says:
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    12 team 6×6 H2H – I’m going to trade my worst SP and a nominal prospect for Dempster for the stretch run.

    It’s a minor move, but in a H2H league, a little bump in any week can make the difference between winning and losing. I picked out Dempster as a solid Buy, for a few reasons:

    1. A great late-season schedule [@Hou, Atl, @Mil, Pit, 1st Rd (I'll have a bye) = Cin; Semifinal = @Cin, Hou; Finals = @STL, SD] and

    2. He K’s 8.5 per 9 and he’s still lagging way behind his SABR stats – FIP and xFIP are both around 3.5 and his ERA is around 4.9

    3. His velocity is back up about 1 mph since the ASB after being lower for much of the first half.

    Anyway, I need to drop or include one of my SP in the trade. Who do I get rid of?

    Edwin Jackson
    Doug Fister
    Javier Vazquez

  59. Kazmere says:
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    Is David Hernandez worth a pick up for vulture saves, or do you think Putz will be back soon?

    RHP David Hernandez recorded his 10th save of the season with a 1-2-3 ninth inning, closing because the D-backs wanted to stay away from RHP J.J. Putz, who saved Tuesday’s victory but landed awkwardly while fielding a grounder on the final play of the game.

  60. Awesomus Maximus

    Awesomus Maximus says:
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    @Grey: Soria has to be the biggest letdown closer this year, yeah? Now that I think about it, I may have drafted the Letdown Triple Crown (bat, SP, RP) in Hanley, Ubaldo, and Soria. If you include injuries, I suppose Johnson is a bigger letdown than Ubaldo… but I drafted him, too!

    FMFBBL

  61. Jungle Mike says:
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    10 team ROTO

    Is it worth dropping Ackley for Kipnis? I’ve got Castro and Uggla in my other two MI spots and Jesus! Guzman as a utility.

    By the way – I love your site, by far the best out there. Thanks for the great wit!

  62. A2K says:
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    If Salvador’s good for awhile I think we need to see a column lead-in entitled the ‘Persistence of Perez’

    Gaga and Emilio from the Marlins collaborated, the chorus:

    Ba ba ba bonerface ba ba bonerface,
    Can’t throw out, can’t throw out… Emily Bonerface
    Sorry, no parentheses (not that I can think of)

  63. Phil says:
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    Quick question… In a yahoo dynasty league and have the top waiver priority…. Would you take vizcaino now or wait and see if someone like Bauer comes up?

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