Don't be shellfish...Share on FacebookTweet about this on TwitterShare on Google+

This is a true story.  In 1981, the St. Louis Cardinals bought a barrel of oil for $12, then sold that barrel of oil to OPEC for $13, netting the Cardinals one dollar.  That one dollar was used by the Cardinals to buy a pack of gum that was used to repair a broken condom that was used by Albert Pujols’s father so there would be only one Albert Pujols and no competition for the best 1st baseman from 2001 thru 2011.  Marxists and Capitalists have argued for years about the right of the Cardinals to use that dollar to stunt natural selection and why didn’t they just buy Albert Pujols’s dad one new condom rather than a pack of gum.  This illustrates a very important point.  You and I may want David Freese due to his position eligibility, but never underestimate the Cardinals ability to get the better side of a trade.  If they’re smarter than OPEC, they’re smarter than us.  Peter Bourjos is in the pile of scraps in mind that includes Brett Gardner and Michael Brantley as guys that I like a lot, maybe more than is reasonable.  (BTW, my 2nd album that critics called ‘very emo’ is also called, Scraps In Mind.  That’s purely coincidental.)  Bourjos got a sleeper post from me for about three years in a row, though he had the misfortune of playing under The Sciosciapath, and The Sciosciapath doesn’t play the hitters he should — hello, Napoli.  Bourjos had a 50-steal season in the minors one year.  You don’t just lose that kind of speed, and, if you’ve ever seen him run out a triple, you know how crazy fast he is.  Oh, and he’s not just SAGNOF.  He also had 12 homers one year for the Angels.  If he put together a 15-homer, 35-steal season, I wouldn’t be shocked.  For 2014, I’ll give him the line of 74/12/58/.263/20 with a chance for much more.  He’ll definitely be someone I’ll be looking at in all leagues.  Anyway, here’s some more offseason moves for 2014 fantasy baseball:

David Freese – The other side of the Cards-Angels trade.  Pop goes the Freesel cuz the Freesel lost his pop at 3rd base.  Well, the Angels figured out a way to get older and more expensive.  Maybe Arte Moreno Jr. shouldn’t have bought his dad Brian Cashman’s autobiography.  “Dad, chapter five implicitly says to sell off all prospects and get older.  In no uncertain terms.”  That’s AM Jr. as he pats caviar from his lips with a gold leaf.  I don’t hate this move from a strictly fantasy perspective.  Freese is kinda hot garbage, but he seemed to get lost in St. Louis.  Maybe he can’t stand enthusiastic fans.  Southern California should cure that problem.  Worst case scenario, Freese is a 12-ish homer guy with fair-to-middling counting stats.  Best case scenario, he hits 20 homers again and lends you a million dollars, interest free.  I imagine he’ll find himself somewhere in the middle with Monie and Malcolm.  For 2014, I’ll give him the line of 68/16/79/.260/2.  Not someone you necessarily want, but someone you can settle for in the late rounds at corner infidel until you find someone better in shallower leagues.

Jhonny Peralta – Signed with the Cards.  This is the most movement the Cardinals have ever done without puffs of white smoke coming out of a chimney at the Vatican.  After hearing about the signing, Pete Kozma’s agent said, “I told him to go with Khozma.  He complained it looked like a terrorist nation.”  Kozma’s agent is his mom.  Peralta doesn’t change a whole lot for fantasy on the Cards.  He’s a 15-ish homer, .250-ish average guy.  Much better in real world terms, which involves people being compared to Ruthie from Real World: Hawaii.  For 2014, I’ll give him the line of 61/14/70/.256/4.

Dan Haren – Next stop on the casino bus is Los Angeles.  He was hot garbage left in a Slumdog Millionaire toilet last year.  His ERA was 4.67, but his xFIP was only 3.67.  Do you smell a bounce back?  Well, that might still be the Slumdog john.  He’s lost velocity in the last two years and his home runs have gone through the roof (especially if he’s pitching in a dome stadium).  He did raise his K-rate last year, but he’s on the wrong side of ‘exciting’ and his fastball and change are pretty close in velocity.  I could see a small bounce back from him, and a flyer at the end of drafts.  However, I’m not expecting a guy that’s going to come all the way back to a low-3 ERA.  He’ll probably be a nice matchups guy vs. the Padres, Giants and Rockies and Diamondbacks when he’s home.  For 2014, I’ll give him the line of 13-10/3.89/1.22/172

Brian McCann – Signed with the Yankees.  When I saw McCann got nearly $100 million, I felt like McCann.  You know, thinking I had problems with my eyes.  Batting in The House They Built Across The Street From The House Ruth Built won’t hurt his numbers and he should once again be a solid top five option with the outside possibility of being the top catcher as long as I don’t say he could be the top catcher — doh!  For 2014, I’ll give him the line of 61/23/77/.251/2.

Jason Vargas – The Royals are owned by David Glass, the former CEO of Wal-Mart.  The Royals are some cheap motherfudgers.  The Royals signed Jason Vargas.  Playing right field for the Royals is a ninety-nine cent hot dog.

Krispie Young – Signed with the Mets.  That gives the Mets an outfield of Young, Young and Brown/Duda, which was also the law firm that represented Madoff.  Let’s just hope Krispie’s feelings aren’t inadvertently hurt when hearing he’s being compared to Brown/Duda.  “Yeah, well, the infield besides Wright is white doodie!”  That’s Krispie getting pissed off.  Krispie might be a starter or a platoon-mate.  We’ll see.  Or not.  Your choice.

LaTroy Hawkins – Signed with the Rockies to be their closer.  Hahahahahahahaha… Yeah, that’ll end well.  As in the Rockies games won’t end well.  Or maybe not at all.  Here’s a prediction:  the Rockies have a lead going into the first game of the year and they bring in LaTroy and he gives up runs for the next three months and the first game doesn’t end until June 11th.  The bad news is Troy Tulowitzki will get injured in the twelve hundredth hour of the first game.

199 Responses

  1. costaricanchata says:
    (link)

    enjoyed the article .
    bourjos hasn’t demonstrated any speed since his injury .

    cust .

      • costaricanchata says:
        (link)

        @Grey:

        naw .
        end of 2012 … was a leg issue .
        could have been an ankle or a knee … maybe even a hammy .
        too old to accurately remember , but sure you could research it .
        he missed significant time … when the opportunity to play arose .

        • Grey

          Grey says:
          (link)

          He’s had some hammy issues here and there…

  2. The Strolg says:
    (link)

    I thought your second album was called Scraps Is A Boy Dog

    • Grey

      Grey says:
      (link)

      @The Strolg: That was an instrumental album put out by Petco for a deal I did with Iams.

  3. Wake Up says:
    (link)

    HA! But, is that story literally, really, literally true? It seems to me that if you wanted a fool-proof way to ensure only one Albert Pujols…most likely they would have just employed the Iranian Special Forces in 1981 to develop a crude miniaturizer to invade Albert senior’s body, along side Martin Short…to fight off all Albert-like outgoing sperm with lasers…or…Albert’s dad could have simply just concentrated on the Pujols…

    • Grey

      Grey says:
      (link)

      @Wake Up: This story hasn’t been confirmed… And what if Martin Short wasn’t ever miniaturized? That was actual size?

      • Wake Up says:
        (link)

        @Grey: What if Albert’s Dad only did Pujols?

        • Grey

          Grey says:
          (link)

          Then they wouldn’t have needed gum…

          • Wake Up says:
            (link)

            @Grey: You don’t let her taste the rainbow?

            • Grey

              Grey says:
              (link)

              No Skittles for her…

  4. Wake Up says:
    (link)

    McCann deal = Curate’s egg
    Yanks badly needed a catcher…
    They ended up with the best one available…
    Now they have to pretend that the crusty part under the shell isn’t disgusting…
    cuz the creamy part of the yolk is rather offensive…

    • Grey

      Grey says:
      (link)

      @Wake Up: Eh, I don’t think it’s all that terrible, even in parts… Guess he could get hurt, but he did real well last year when he returned for 5 months…

      • Wake Up says:
        (link)

        @Grey: No I don’t think it’s terrible either…but, I do think that my post was genius!

        • Grey

          Grey says:
          (link)

          Ha!

  5. Coffee says:
    (link)

    Bourjos is one of the best damn fielders to watch in the game and it will be interesting see if he steals. Never did get good reads on his jump to second base. Watch the way he runs the bases, his first to home speed and doubles into triples speed is crazy fast. He has the most interesting angle after rounding the second base on his way to the third base.

    As for Napoli, the Sciosciapath had one reason for him in the doghouse. The Naps was carousing in Tempe and Scottsdale during spring training. Mike didn’t like the dedication.

    • Grey

      Grey says:
      (link)

      @Coffee: Agreed on Bourjos… One of the quickest players I’ve seen when he gets going…

  6. gareth says:
    (link)

    Do you know why he’s called jhonny? They incorrectly spelt it on his birth certificate. his mother eventually realized this but didnt bother changing it. Thats a true story, Ghrey.

    • Grey

      Grey says:
      (link)

      @gareth: He says it’s a common spelling where he’s from… H-Town…

  7. Marti says:
    (link)

    What do u think of these smjarzia rumors…I don’t understand why the cubs don’t re sign..he seems like I a solid no 2 starter but the cubs are the cubs.

    • Grey

      Grey says:
      (link)

      @Marti: I don’t think much of them…

  8. gareth says:
    (link)

    Its crazy to pay jhonny peralta 13 million a year for 4 years but I can see st Louis’s reasoning behind it.

    Hes not attached to a draft pick, he’s the best free agent ss available (after drew the fa class looks atrocious), they don’t have to give up any young talent like they would if it was a trade, they have freed up cash to spend.

    The cardinals had needs In the outfield and at shortstop and efficiently addressed them before thanksgiving.
    Now they can sit back and let this bloated market come to them with bargains.

    Li k e i said, Paying 13 million a year for 4 years of jhonny peralta is insane, but the fact they got to keep all their young talent makes it a palatable move.

    Unless you are pete khozma’s mom / agent.

    • Grey

      Grey says:
      (link)

      @gareth: Lesser of two evils… Overpay or play Kozma…

  9. gareth says:
    (link)

    Carpenter3b
    Craig rf
    Holiday lf
    Adams 1b
    Molina c
    Peralta ss
    Wong 2b
    Bourgous cf

    Wainwright
    Miller
    Wacha
    Lynn
    J. Garcia / kelly

    Closer: Rosenthal

    That’s a strong lineup, and that’s not counting future deals or guys like Tavares being promoted.

    I’d hate to be in the nl central right now. Competitive is an understatement.

    • Grey

      Grey says:
      (link)

      @gareth: Lot of injury risk in that lineup though…

      • gareth says:
        (link)

        @Grey: agree with the injuy risk. However the cardinals have enviable depth (jay, tavares ect) if the likes of craig and bourgous get niggles or miss significant time.

        • Grey

          Grey says:
          (link)

          Yeah, that is true…

          • robdouth says:
            (link)

            @Grey: wait, so Craig and Bourjos equals a lot of injury risk?

            For all the supposed injury risk last year for Beltran and Craig, , both played over 130 games. In fact Beltran played 145, and you have to think Bourjos is less risky than Beltran in that sense.

            If anything they have less injury risk this year.

            • Grey

              Grey says:
              (link)

              Yeah, plus the price you’d have to pay for a flyer on Bourjos ($1, last rounds), injury risk doesn’t matter for fantasy… If he gets injured, you drop him…

              • Andrew says:
                (link)

                @Grey:

                he’ll have a month to excel before Taveras is called up (provided Holliday, Craig, Adams are all healthy)

                • Grey

                  Grey says:
                  (link)

                  Yeah, could be…

                  • Aubrey Plaza's Pillow says:
                    (link)

                    @Grey: using craig’s one mostly healthy year doesn’t take away from his entire career being injury filled. But I don’t think the rest of that lineup is injury prone.

  10. Jim says:
    (link)

    Would like to thank the Rockies front office for the kick in the nuts with the Hawkins signing. Have Brothers in a dynasty league. The LaTroy voodoo doll is in the works.

    • JoeC says:
      (link)

      @Jim: I think this works out for us in a sense because Brothers’ draft status will sink, allowing us to scoop him up on the cheap and wait for the inevitable Hawkins flameout.

      • Aubrey Plaza's Pillow says:
        (link)

        @JoeC: that IS a great bright side. not quite as good as last year when everybody knew jensen would get that job, but similar

  11. J-FOH says:
    (link)

    Great article, I didn’t read most of it. Maybe Freese will re-connect Albert with his old connect and he can stop acting like an over priced baby. LaTroy jokes will be cheap and often in the next closer report. I called it out last week. He ill close for close games they win in April, which will be none. Rockies April record, 0 and whatever.

    Is it me or does your avatar look older today? Must be the marriage.

    • Grey

      Grey says:
      (link)

      Good comment, I stopped after ‘great article’… It might be my haircut, I had them put in some white hair, makes me more distinguished…

      • J-FOH says:
        (link)

        @Grey: have you thought of adding a monocle?

        • Grey

          Grey says:
          (link)

          Too ostentatious…

          • J-FOH says:
            (link)

            @Grey: I will. I got some mustache wax coming in the mail

            • Grey

              Grey says:
              (link)

              My mustache is naturally sheen-y… BTW, did you see my comment the other day for you to check out new Eminem?

              • J-FOH says:
                (link)

                @Grey: yes and no I haven’t yet

                • Grey

                  Grey says:
                  (link)

                  Check out Love Game… Good shizz…

                  • J-FOH says:
                    (link)

                    @Grey: It’s on my list. Funny, I listened to his first album the other day in the car, damn that thing was so different than anything else when it came out.

                    I’m stuck on ADHD by Kendrick, that song is so f**king legit

                    • Grey

                      Grey says:
                      (link)

                      Ah, so you’re liking Kendrick now? What turned you?

                  • J-FOH says:
                    (link)

                    @Grey: an itunes gift card

                    • Grey

                      Grey says:
                      (link)

                      Oh, nice…

                  • J-FOH says:
                    (link)

                    @Grey: by christmas I might be able to get the whole album.

                    • Grey

                      Grey says:
                      (link)

                      Depends if you’ve been naughty or nice…

                  • J-FOH says:
                    (link)

                    @Grey: After my Skycation I can kiss that gift card goodbye

                    • Grey

                      Grey says:
                      (link)

                      From your baby’s mama? Or from Sky?

                  • Slim

                    Slim says:
                    (link)

                    @Grey: Yeah it is. “Rap God” is effin amazing!

                    • Grey

                      Grey says:
                      (link)

                      Actually, really surprised at how good the album is, wasn’t a fan of his last three albums… Berzek, Rhyme or Reason and Love Game are all over 40 listens…

                  • J-FOH says:
                    (link)

                    @Grey: both *kicks ground*

  12. George says:
    (link)

    Personally – I think that the Peralta signing is not going help the Cardinals. His fielding range at shot frankly sucks and while I like Bourjos, when healthy, I wouldn’t expect more than 400 at-bats from him.

    Finally, if Taveras is ready to produce Day 1 this spring for the big league team then who is he going to bounce out of the lineup? Craig, Adams, Bourjos?

    I wouldn’t be dancing Cardinals fans. Peralta may hit some during the regular season but he is not a playoff shortstop at your home park.

    • Grey

      Grey says:
      (link)

      Think Jhonny does enough for the Cards that he’ll be a push for real baseball, but is better for our purposes… Hard to say on Taveras, but Craig can’t stay healthy, Bourjos has had his problems…Taveras wasn’t even healthy last year, so bunch of question marks… Freese gone does get Wong into the lineup which helps…

      • George says:
        (link)

        @Grey: We’ll see Grey. When Peralta is pulled out of games for a defensive replacement, that could limit his offensive upside because he is far too slow to play shortstop at St. Louis’ homepark.

        As for Taveras, we’ll see how healthy he is when they start camp in 90 days.

        Finally – the Cardinals best asset is pitching. Peralta’s defense is NOT going to help the starting pitchers BABIP’s, particularly anyone with less than a K rate per 9 of less than 9.

        • Grey

          Grey says:
          (link)

          Yeah, I see your point… Not like I’m a huge Peralta fan…

        • robdouth says:
          (link)

          @George: It’s not like Peralta is much of a downgrade from Kozma. Kozma was at best average there, and hit less than a scoach above .200. That .50 points of average along with the .70-80 or more points of OBP, along with some pop more than make up for the lack of range at short. Also, if he’s taken out for Descalso in the 8th, after his fourth at bat or so, it’s not going to hurt his value much.

          • Aubrey Plaza's Pillow says:
            (link)

            @robdouth: adams should never be playing against lefties, ever, so craig plays 1st on those days, also giving his legs rest he badly needs all the time anyway. Taveras is likely better in RF for the (at least at the start) few games he plays.

  13. Simply Fred

    simply fred says:
    (link)

    eh, bourjos love = extended honeymoon euphoria? he should get the modest runs and rbi, but…

    the cards a station-to-station team, ranking 29th in team steals in 2013 (top, jay with 10 in 157 games). projects closer to 10 than 22.

    his home-run rate per AB (3-yr) = 1 HR for every 46 ABs. The weighted righty weight (50% home, 50% balance of league) for angels is 36.1. he moves to cards 47.5. 10 would be surprise. not seeing the play here…

    do like having you back at the plate!

    • Grey

      Grey says:
      (link)

      Thanks! Bourjos has had problems with his wrist which could’ve hurt his power, which could be healed now… Hard to say… Cards were station to station last year but near the top of the league the year before… They just didn’t have fast guys in 2013…

      • Simply Fred

        simply fred says:
        (link)

        @Grey: i have ‘em ranked 24th in 2012. can see the jury may be out with matheny just one year in. will be interesting to watch. reasonable chance bourjos on the wire at some point if he does run.

        • Grey

          Grey says:
          (link)

          Oops, I sorted wrong, you’re right… I still don’t think 20 steals is much for a guy with 50-steal speed… He’s very fast… Of course he needs at-bats and health for that…

  14. Sky

    Sky says:
    (link)

    I’m so excited to not draft any of these guys this year.

    • Grey

      Grey says:
      (link)

      Haha

      • matt says:
        (link)

        @Grey: I wanna throw up. Signed -cards fan- Only thing I see happening is them putting Craig in the OF and him crashing thru the wall like the kool-aid man. Thus ending his season in Apr-May

        • Grey

          Grey says:
          (link)

          OH YEAH

    • matt says:
      (link)

      @Sky: I share the same enthusiasm as I would sitting down for a plate of beets. Depressing

      • Sky

        Sky says:
        (link)

        @matt: Haha. Of course Peralta is going to now drive in 100, score 90, hit .290 and 18 HRs. He’s always intriguing to me when he falls in drafts but he’s not gonna do that on the Cards.

  15. gareth says:
    (link)

    I’m an Indians fan. When peralta came up from the minors he essentially replaced tribe legend omar vizquel, who went to san Francisco. Peralta was given the ss position outright and kind of became the whipping boy of the fans for a few years due to his demeanor, pudgy frame and round face, supposed limited range and the fact he wasn’t omar.

    I though this was unfair. While not flashy and athletic, He consistently made the plays a shortstop that he needed to, had plus pop for a shortstop and in 2007 was actually one of the better players on the division winning indians team (including the postseason). He was also solid for Detroit (including the postseson)..

    The issue now is the after effects of ped use and the likely decline from ages 31 to 35. I think the last 2 years of the contract may hurt st louis, but the first two years will provide a much needed upgrade for them at a position of need.

    Sure it was an overpay. Its free agency! And owners are more flush than ever since his offseason.

    How about this for a sobering thought – last offseason, the indians and cardinals came close to a trade of asdrubal cabrera for pitching. Names discussed? Trevor Rosenthal. Carlos Martinez. Michael wacha.
    The indians decide they wanted to compete in 2013 and kept hold of Cabrera.

    Peralta is actually comparable to Cabrera, and the cardinals get to keep their assets. Cabrera has a disappointing 2013 and earns 10 million in his last year before free agency. “Sad trombone.”

    • J-FOH says:
      (link)

      @gareth: I never knew you were an Indians fan. I feel better now

      • Aubrey Plaza's Pillow says:
        (link)

        @J-FOH: you didn’t know he was an indians fan huh, well the rest of us have heard about it somewhere around 3.5 times a day (every day, of season).

    • Grey

      Grey says:
      (link)

      Yeah, I tend to agree… Any time they upgrade and don’t trade away pitching it’s a plus…

  16. J-FOH says:
    (link)

    Waiting for Guffman came on TV today, I was reminded to remind you in the off season to watch….so go watch it

    • Grey

      Grey says:
      (link)

      Ha, thanks…

      • J-FOH says:
        (link)

        @Grey: has life got back to normal yet?

        • Grey

          Grey says:
          (link)

          Yeah, gained back nine pounds on the honeymoon and headed for heifer status by January…

          • J-FOH says:
            (link)

            @Grey: welcome to the club

            • Grey

              Grey says:
              (link)

              I plan on being morbidly obese by next April… Billy Butler ain’t got nothing on me!

              • J-FOH says:
                (link)

                @Grey: we xan attack buffetts and brazilian bbqs together

                • Wake Up says:
                  (link)

                  @J-FOH: I’m still a squishy svelte…

                  • J-FOH says:
                    (link)

                    @Wake Up: I’m built like a pulling guard….that’s a football term

                    • Wake Up says:
                      (link)

                      @J-FOH: it sounds like a thing you would put on the rope if you were in a tug-o-war…

                  • J-FOH says:
                    (link)

                    @Wake Up: or a teeter totter

                • Grey

                  Grey says:
                  (link)

                  I love me some churrascaria!

                  • J-FOH says:
                    (link)

                    @Grey: it’s a date…uh I mean business meeting

                    • Grey

                      Grey says:
                      (link)

                      Hehe

          • SteveNZ says:
            (link)

            @Grey: Forgot to ask – did you eat anywhere good? Or was it all hotel/resort stuff?

            • Grey

              Grey says:
              (link)

              Nah, not many hotels/resorts at all… Had some great meals… Sweet Home Cafe, which is a top 50 Chinese restaurant in the US, Alan Wong’s place was one of the best meals I’ve ever had, and Side Street Inn was on Anthony Bourdain’s show… Also ate at Morimoto’s which was memorable but a hotel…

  17. gareth says:
    (link)

    Hey J-foh – you mentioned “waiting for guffman?”

    I think I’m gonna go bite my pillow, then have a guffman, best in show, spinal tap movie marathon.

    I’ve got my assorted nuts (that I will name) for snacks and will be sure to turn it up to eleven!

    • J-FOH says:
      (link)

      @gareth: Be sure to go grab something from the DQ and grab some panty hose for your “wife” Bonnie.

    • Grey

      Grey says:
      (link)

      Haha…Half of them seem like they’re on quaaludes…

      • J-FOH says:
        (link)

        @Grey: they still make qualudes and where can I get me some?

        • Grey

          Grey says:
          (link)

          I think they can be found next to the goofballs and wise guy pills…

          • J-FOH says:
            (link)

            @Grey: must be some kind of NY pharmacy

            • Grey

              Grey says:
              (link)

              Hehe… Or Jersey…

              • J-FOH says:
                (link)

                @Grey: same thing to us west coasters

                I wonder why I get no one clicking on my links, it’s not like I’ve put anything that bad, I think it’s the perception that I will put something up tasteless and offensive….hey, I’m not Prezzi

                • Grey

                  Grey says:
                  (link)

                  Member that time Prezzi fell in love with a cross-dressing commenter, ah, that days… BTW, what link is no one clicking on?

                  • J-FOH says:
                    (link)

                    @Grey: most, but the Mets, I figured that would of had at least one other comment…..but on the flipside yours is all that matters….not that there is anything wrong with that

                    In our fantasy football draft with Sky, Guru, Prezzi and Kid A the site tranny was the talk of the day. It had all the outsiders really confused

                    • Grey

                      Grey says:
                      (link)

                      Ha, nice… I just went to a vape store that is four blocks from me… They’re popping up all over the place now…

                  • J-FOH says:
                    (link)

                    @Grey: they are blowing up like Billy Butlers waistline

                    • Grey

                      Grey says:
                      (link)

                      Ha!

                  • Prez says:
                    (link)

                    Hey screw you guys! Haha that shim was talkin about in-&-out burger, how can a man resist?? I woulda got a hummer from a tranny if he/she had animal fries and a double-double..

                    • Grey

                      Grey says:
                      (link)

                      You want fries with that shake?

                • goodfold2 says:
                  (link)

                  @J-FOH: the third guy, number 15, really does seem like he’s on some good barbituates.

  18. Wake Up says:
    (link)

    Teixeira aims to swing “full-speed” in Jan…

    Maybe just stay at “3/4″ so you don’t hit “directly” into the shift…

    • Grey

      Grey says:
      (link)

      Ha, awesome…,

    • J-FOH says:
      (link)

      @Wake Up: he’d help his team more by not swinging and getting either walks or HPB ala Rudy Stein

      • Wake Up says:
        (link)

        @J-FOH: from the Bad Jews Bears?

        • Wake Up says:
          (link)

          @Wake Up: oops damn auto correct s/b *News…

          • Prez says:
            (link)

            @Wake Up: ha!! Bad jews bears… Blame it on the auto correct, of course!

  19. Slim

    Slim says:
    (link)

    I don’t want to hijack his thread. I find myself skipping a couple of songs. When I heard the name of the album I shook my head and thought it was pretty stupid but it actually does invoke a lot of the feeling of the original Marshall Mathers LP. I haven’t taken it out of my car since I got it.

    Have u read any of my stuff on the basketball side? JB gave me complete creative control so I ran with it. I’m having a blast. I didn’t know i would enjoy writing fiction under a pseudonym so much.

    • Grey

      Grey says:
      (link)

      Yeah, you’re doing great work on basketball! Honestly, I haven’t listened to the whole album, I’ve listened to the songs I mentioned, plus Monster about 50+ times and have barely listened to other songs once…

  20. costaricanchata says:
    (link)

    a-rod and his lawyers doing their best to run selig out of baseball .

    more power to them .

    • Grey

      Grey says:
      (link)

      He should be run by someone…

    • Grey

      Grey says:
      (link)

      That was pretty cool…

    • Grey

      Grey says:
      (link)

      Huh?

      • costaricanchata says:
        (link)

        @Grey:

        commenter from a few years back .
        part filmmaker / part demo guy (i believe) .
        posted videos on this site .
        went by the name of “freak” ( ? ?)
        in mocks , if you took his guy , he would threaten to blow you up .
        VinWins might be able to confirm .
        (again , my memory might be clouded .)
        do i need to post this disclaimer ^ every time
        or can we all just recognize this as fact ?

        pura vida .

        • Grey

          Grey says:
          (link)

          Haha, you don’t need to post the disclaimer every time… I remember Freak, but don’t remember he was a filmmaker…

        • SteveNZ says:
          (link)

          @Grey: @costaricanchata: Freak was in Original Recipe this year, but didn’t pay attention for very long. Looks like he’s pretty much a full-time sports production guy now (definitely camera, maybe sound too) – he’s always posting photos on Facebook of his courtside spot at Pacers games, or pregame on the field at Colts games.

          • Grey

            Grey says:
            (link)

            Ah, nice… I remember there was another guy in production in New York, but I don’t think it was Freak…

  21. TheNewGuy says:
    (link)

    Love B-Mac signing with the Yanks (not the contract) for fantasy purposes. Always been a power pull hitter, he is gonna litter that short porch in right. Immeasurably better than the huge outfield in hotlanta. I could see 30+ longballs if he can stay healthy next year, and as he should DH now, that should be made much easier.

    If im ever gonna draft a catcher early it’s him, particularly in on-base leagues. Normally catchers don’t play enough games to be valuable enough, McCann could top 150 games next year easily= far improved counting stats over other catchers (just look at V-Mart and Nap last year).

    • Grey

      Grey says:
      (link)

      Don’t see how the Yankees adds games played to McCann but I do like him there…

      • TheNewGuy says:
        (link)

        @Grey: DH dude, DH. Goes from 130 games to 150+

        Yankees have noone better at DH so it will be B-Mac whenever he’s not catching. So he could play nearly every day ala V-Mart.

        • Grey

          Grey says:
          (link)

          Yankees have about better qualified DHs…

          • TheNewGuy says:
            (link)

            @Grey: Doubt it. What chump was their usual DH last year? This is the new Yankees remember, the crappy one noone pays attention to anymore and has journeymen all over the infield.

            • Grey

              Grey says:
              (link)

              There was one catcher in the last four years to get 150 games played… So if I were a betting man, I’d say the chances McCann played 150 games are very slim…

  22. Wake Up says:
    (link)

    Had the pleasure of attending a Yoga demonstration last night…developed a theory while there…Yoga seemed to me to be just a set of angles designed to air out the vagina…maybe just hang it out the window like a dog’s tongue? Anyway, something to ponder while engorging yourselves…Happy Turkey Day!

    • Grey

      Grey says:
      (link)

      Haha…Interesting… I didn’t know they did yoga demonstrations anymore… Outside of prisons and nudist colonies… Happy Turkey Day!

      • Wake Up says:
        (link)

        @Grey: She was trying to drum up some biz for the class she teaches…I was “encouraged” to come along…kinda felt like a test…didn’t want to go at first, but it ended up being a bunch of hot girls bending over in front of me and showing me their vaginas…fine line…it’s rude not to look…but you’re the “jerk” if you visibly sniff…Chag Sameach!

        • TheNewGuy says:
          (link)

          @Wake Up: They were doing Yoga in the buff? Don’t know what kind of Yoga class you attended lol…

          If there is such thing then im in for that.

          • Wake Up says:
            (link)

            @TheNewGuy: ha…nah, not in the buff…but yoga pants leave little to the imagination…

            VMart only caught 3 games…big difference…

        • Grey

          Grey says:
          (link)

          Chanukkah! Best thing is to show up late and have to squeeze in in the back… Worst case scenario is they move you up front and you’re stuck looking out the windows…

          • Wake Up says:
            (link)

            @Grey: oh I was just there to watch…so I was in the back humming to myself…pattycake, pattycake…let’s just say if Prezzii would have went to the shemale’s yoga class he prolly wouldn’t have been fooled…prolly…

            • Grey

              Grey says:
              (link)

              I don’t know, leotards don’t leave much to the imagination…

            • Prez says:
              (link)

              Hey, screw you guys again! Whys prez always gotta be the center of transvestite jokes!? Hahaha assholes!

              • Grey

                Grey says:
                (link)

                Haha

  23. J-FOH says:
    (link)

    Happy day before Thanksgiving, so what’s the Coug making for dinner tomorrow?

    *sarcasm*

    • Grey

      Grey says:
      (link)

      Haha… I didn’t marry her for her cooking, let’s just say…

      • J-FOH says:
        (link)

        @Grey: I know, we have talked about the eggs thing.

        Where are you going? I get to make it again

        • Grey

          Grey says:
          (link)

          I’m in Palm Springs… I hear there’s not gonna be mashed potatoes so I gotta make them… Last year there was no stuffing so we’re making progress…

          • J-FOH says:
            (link)

            @Grey: My dad can’t come this year with my daughter being sick with a cold. I’m cooking for baby’s mama’s family so I’m only doing the bird and 6 sides with store bought dessert this year. I’m taking it easy this time.

            So you didn’t marry the cougs for the cooking, and with the pre nup, money is out, that leaves love and sex…

            • Grey

              Grey says:
              (link)

              Ha, yup… Hope your dad is doing better… Store bought dessert? That’s like hitting a roller to the wall and pulling up at second for a stand up double when you’re a triple shy of the cycle…

              • J-FOH says:
                (link)

                @Grey: It’s like the season after I got the big contract, going in on cruise control and avoiding injury…..oops I landed on the disgraceful list.

                Baby’s Mama’s Mama is bringing desserts. She ususally goes to Porto’s and brings something that has nothing to do with Thanksgiving but it’s still good. With my dad not here I’m not wasting my time making bread pudding.

                He’s OK, the recovery has been slow. Dude keeps wanting to work and I’m just standing there shaking my head telling him this is kinda how we got here in the first place.

                • Grey

                  Grey says:
                  (link)

                  That’s good that he’s on the mend… All the best to him… As long as the dessert’s good, I don’t mind store bought… I just made mashed potatoes, it took me 3 hours… I’m not sure it should’ve taken that long…

                  • SteveNZ says:
                    (link)

                    @Grey: Unless it’s some special American Thanksgiving recipe, I’d respectfully suggest it shouldn’t…

                    • Grey

                      Grey says:
                      (link)

                      I don’t know, but they came out pretty damn good… Anything with two sticks of butter can’t be bad…

                  • J-FOH says:
                    (link)

                    @Grey: hhmmm, my advice would be to get a better pealer.

                    • Grey

                      Grey says:
                      (link)

                      The results were still magnificent…

                  • J-FOH says:
                    (link)

                    @Grey: was there any special ingredients, Potatoes, butter, cream, salt, pepper? what else could make them magical?

                    • Grey

                      Grey says:
                      (link)

                      Stray fallen mustache hairs?

                  • SteveNZ says:
                    (link)

                    @Grey: Well, plenty of butter is the secret. How many were you making it for? Im intrigued by the time taken (emoticon)

                    • Grey

                      Grey says:
                      (link)

                      I made them for 19 people… I was peeling potatoes and mashing for a good hour…

                    • Grey

                      Grey says:
                      (link)

                      Btw, was quite the party too… It was at madepftline redpftstone’s house… Remove the pft’s and google… There video about it on WSJ…

                  • SteveNZ says:
                    (link)

                    @Grey: Holy effing shit, you’re swimming in the deep end there, young fella. Hadn’t heard of her but I sure as hell know who her brother-in-law is. Was he there? Are you at liberty to divulge the connection?

                    • Grey

                      Grey says:
                      (link)

                      Good friends of Cougar’s rents… He wasn’t there, they don’t get along… It’s all documented on google through articles…

                  • SteveNZ says:
                    (link)

                    @Grey: Ah yes, I can see why ol’ Sumner wasn’t invited…

                  • J-FOH says:
                    (link)

                    @Grey: nice pad, yeah for 19 peeps, thats got to be like 20-30 pounds of potatoes….That’s some spicy stache hair!

                    • Grey

                      Grey says:
                      (link)

                      It was was a huge undertaking, but someone had to do it… I used four sticks of butter!

                  • J-FOH says:
                    (link)

                    @Grey: sounds about right, I made it for 6 and used a stick of butter and a half cup of heavy cream. After a good whipping it was like velvet

                    • Grey

                      Grey says:
                      (link)

                      Mother Cougar brought out the do-it-yourself whipped cream canister, but I didn’t go that far… Just old fashioned mashing…

                  • J-FOH says:
                    (link)

                    @Grey: Truth: I own a hand crank beater

                    • Grey

                      Grey says:
                      (link)

                      Nice, old school works well there…

                  • J-FOH says:
                    (link)

                    @Grey: Gets my forearms ripped

                    • Grey

                      Grey says:
                      (link)

                      Or just practice the dance move, The Mashed Potato.

    • Grey

      Grey says:
      (link)

      Hard to get lamer than Ethier…

      • J-FOH says:
        (link)

        @Grey: he looks the part….lame

        • Grey

          Grey says:
          (link)

          Yup

    • Grey

      Grey says:
      (link)

      Awesome…

      • SteveNZ says:
        (link)

        @Grey: “… like bags of wet cement.” Brilliant.

        • Grey

          Grey says:
          (link)

          Haha

  24. J-FOH says:
    (link)

    Joe Smith signed by the Angels….I like that deal. A real set up man

    • Grey

      Grey says:
      (link)

      Yeah, prolly end up closer before too long…

      • J-FOH says:
        (link)

        @Grey: I’m going to proclaim him a top ten MR this year.

        • Grey

          Grey says:
          (link)

          Sounds about right…

  25. Prez says:
    (link)

    Happy thanksgiving grey! Remember to pack a comb for the stache today.

    • Grey

      Grey says:
      (link)

      Thanks, Prezzi! Hope you had a good one, wish I would’ve been reminded about the comb before going to the outlet mall today…

  26. Public Enemy#1 says:
    (link)

    Hope you and Cougs had a great first Turkey Day as a ball and chain. Sorry in advance for the depth of this message. I’m in the middle of my 15-team slow NFBC draft and here’s where I stand so far:

    C) Posey (I know you aren’t a fan of this on, lol)
    C)
    1b) Encarnacion
    2b) Gyorko
    3b) Lawrie
    ss)
    mi)
    ci)
    of) Harper
    of) J-Heyward
    of) NCruz
    of) EY Jr. (My Sagnof warrior)
    of)
    U)

    SPs) CLee, Cobb, SMiller
    RPs) Chapman, Janssen

    Some questions for you:
    1) Within their respective organizations, who are the fallbacks to Chapman and Janssen at the moment?
    2) I’m going low budget on my SS/mi….who do you think will give me the most reliable stats from this group and who do you think has the biggest upside from this group: Peralta, BMiller, Aybar, Cozart, Drew, NWalker, Rendon
    3) If I’m looking for ~170 K potential, how would you rank LLynn, Liriano, DHolland, and MEstrada?
    4 )If I’m looking for a ratio-scrubber with a bit less K potential, how would you rank Cueto, Griffin, Beachy, and Kuroda?

    • Grey

      Grey says:
      (link)

      Thanks! Hope you had a nice holiday too… 1) Hmm… Withrow and Broxton? No one really right now… 2) Miller, Rendon 3) Liriano, Lynn, Holland 4) Kuroda, Cueto, Beachy

      • Public Enemy#1 says:
        (link)

        @Grey: Thanks for the reply. Withrow threw me off for a sec there. I thought I somehow missed that he was traded to Toronto. I actually have Casey Janssen from the Blue Jays, and was thinking it would either be Delabar or Santos who would back him up in Toronto. I think I’d lean Santos since he has some experience closing, but what do you think?

        • Grey

          Grey says:
          (link)

          I’d lean Santos…

  27. Aubrey Plaza's Pillow says:
    (link)

    1. 12 team h2h league. One of my orphan teams with keepers. forgot that i threw away ellsbury at end of year, meant to pick him back up before end of last week, did not do that. Oops. Keep which 4 out of greinke/f-her/j-up/cole/s.gray/machado/b.hamilton/avisail/calhoun/t.hunter/braun. I think ellsbury’s spot will be taken by braun, so that’s braun/king hernandez/machado and somebody else. I asked this before, but it included ellsbury back then. I messed that up.
    2. 15 team roto with 3 keepers. which 3 out of votto/beltre (his age probably takes him out)/bruce/jones/strasburg? I know jones makes cut but which other 2?
    thanks.

    • Grey

      Grey says:
      (link)

      1. When do you have to decide? I’d like to know more on Machado before deciding… Otherwise, Braun, King, Machado and Upton 2. Jones, Strasburg, Votto

      • goodfold2 says:
        (link)

        @Grey: 1. not too soon. don’t know exact date yet. so dropping ells resulted in him getting replaced with upton then. forgot, after I dropped ellsbury i did pick up cargo (the 1st cargo). is he over upton? thinking so.
        2. traded for strasburg for last month and half of year (other owner ran out of innings), also knowing it might move to keeper, so pretty nice there.

        about to possibly join a 30 man dynasty with salaries (takes on video game like qualities, long range stuff) it’s a 6X6 Roto till end of August, then H2H for last month out of 8 teams. Many terrible players on team due to it having 30 teams. does have gray and carmart in minor system (15 man per team minor system, still there guessing since they didn’t hit innings minimum, or maybe absentee owner)

        • Grey

          Grey says:
          (link)

          1. Yup 2. Nice!

  28. Wake Up says:
    (link)

    Twins sign Hughes…they are hoping just being around Mauer on a daily basis will eliminate some HRs…

    • Grey

      Grey says:
      (link)

      Ha!

      • Wake Up says:
        (link)

        @Grey: Shocking…what’s that old saying…a bird in the hand is worth two in the pink?

        • Grey

          Grey says:
          (link)

          I think I saw someone dressed as that visual metaphor for Halloween in West Hollywood…

          • Wake Up says:
            (link)

            @Grey: hahaha…sure it wasn’t Don’t throw stones when you basically live in the butthole…

            • Grey

              Grey says:
              (link)

              Pretty sure…

Comments are closed.