It’s more like you’re a schmohawk if you draft Buster Posey in the 2nd round. Let’s just look at his MVP season. Hmm, it might take me a while to get through 300 hours of video to look at his MVP season. Plus, you give this to me on VHS?! Grey’s Intern, “Sorry, Mr. Albright, MLB is a bit behind with their technology. I assumed you didn’t want grainy black and white film with Mel Allen voice over.” Put an ad on Craigslist for a new intern! GI, “Aw, shucks.” All right, due to a slight setback we’re gonna have to look at Posey’s season through the online prism of stats. His MVP year was 78/24/103/.336/1. To compare and contrast: he had the 66th most runs, one behind Michael Young and Andre Ethier. Yay. Yay, “Don’t overuse me for your sarcastic amusement. I have feelings.” Sorry, Yay. His 24 homers was tied for 45th best. Same as Napoli, Plouffe and Swisher. Super. Super, “I feel the same as Yay.” His RBIs were 15th overall. That’s one off of Pence’s pace. Whoopie doo. Whoopie Doo, “I don’t mind the sarcasm.” Posey’s steals were tied for 881st with Jake Westbrook, Prince Fielder and Xavier Nady, who I believe retired in 2009. A notoriously quick group, to be sure. Now, in case you skimmed the first ten sentences of nonsense. This was Posey’s MVP season. So, he’s going to get better this year? Is he going to win the G.O.A.T MVP and get knighted? Is the new number one name for boys in America going to be Posey? That’ll confused some doctors in the maternity ward. New Dad, “Look at that Posey!” Doctor, “Now’s not the time for that, sir.” So what can we expect from Buster Posey for 2013 and what makes him overrated?
I think there’s a fair chance Posey doesn’t do as well in 2013. But…Again, with emphasis…BUT if he does do as well, he’s still not worth a 2nd round draft pick. According to our Fantasy Baseball Player Rater, last year Posey was as valuable as Cueto, Fernando Rodney and Billy Butler. He was 27th overall. Not bad, not really 2nd round material — and that was after his best year. He doesn’t have sneaky speed. He’ll be lucky to get three steals. He doesn’t have huge power. 25 homers would be a great year from him. He’s in a lineup and home park that isn’t going to do his counting stats any favors. His one legitimate plus is average. You know, the stat that is extremely fickle and could easily drop to .315 without much more than ten hits turning into solid defensive plays. Right now in the top 20 catchers for 2013 fantasy baseball, I have his 2013 projections down as 74/25/97/.309/1. That’s being extremely fair. Those are not 2nd round numbers. Those are near 4th round numbers and 3rd round when you consider he’s a catcher. I have him at 30 overall in my top 400 for 2013 fantasy baseball. I would’ve put him 45th overall if I thought there was any way I’d have a shot at him at 30th overall. Then I would’ve put him 60th overall if I thought I had a chance of getting him 45th overall. Then… Well, you get the point. Stupid OCD! Oh, friends and countrymen and four country-women, I didn’t even mention he plays a grueling position that could lead to nagging injuries, and last year was the first time he stayed healthy for a whole year in the majors. ESPN has him ranked 16th overall. That’s with them telling you he ranked 27th overall last year and this year they’re giving him projections that are less than last year. My brain just spun around in my head. ?dnim gnikcuf rieht fo tuo yeht erA Okay, my brain has spun back around, but it’s best I don’t translate what my backwards brain said. I haven’t even mentioned you should be punting catchers. So, this is your 2nd round pick? How about you draft Chris Sale in the 3rd round and start building a Flux Capacitor? Or maybe you commission Julian Assange to hack your league page and WikiLeak-up your stats? It’s about the only chance you have.