Well, last week I said the Boston situation would go swimmingly, results so far have been 2 drowning victims and an all-Asian rescue team. First, Andrew Bailey went down with triceps injury, then Joel Hanrahan said, “anything you can do I can do better,” and has a forearm strain. Now, I’m no doctor, I pretend to play one at 2 AM and it’s last call, different story, but you get my point, but isn’t it only one arm, not fore? So to the rescue in their tight red water panties are the best combo since Chico found the man, Koji and Junichi. The eighth and ninth innings for all games on NESN now will be in full anime, and Rem-Dog will be eaten. I fully expect Tazawa to be the focal point of save situations until either Bailey or Hanrahan return. He was closing for a tick last year at Pawtucket, which is like me fishing and saying I’m Gordon’s fisherman. The numbers this year are pretty outstanding (18 K’s in 14 In) so he has momentum, his only flaw is he is a fly ball pitcher and that tends to bite ya in the oshiri… sometimes. Stay tuned to see what else I see/saw or foresee coming up in the world of conclusionary pitchers and the gents that set them up.
Heath Bell – With Putz dealing with a an arm ailment, got the save on Tuesday night. Matt Reynolds and David Hernandez are both capable of converting saves in the desert as well. Heath looks like he has the leg up based upon previous closing experience, so does a door hinge, but have you ever seen a door hinge throw — it’s awful. I saw it at Burning Man, with John Deere and Sadie Hawkins. I personally would avoid adding Bell if saves weren’t so alluring as I think David Hernandez takes the job eventually.
Brandon League – The end is nigh. Abandon the league. He has pitched twice in the past week, neither were save situations and completely sucked. Though, in his defense, if your going to suck do it all at once and give up homers. Kenley Jansen should be already owned everywhere, if not your league is garbage, and you should do better for yourself.
Kyuji Fujikawa – Is on assignment, word is he looks fantastic in skinny jeans and is a huge fan of Kenny Rogers’ chicken. At least that’s what I got from his interpreter. Should be back in a week, and looks to be a set-up candidate for Kevin Gregg so that basically kills his value for now, or if you have a DL spot stash him there, or don’t.
Vinnie Pestano – Will be sidelined with an achy elbow macaroni, the same injury that has bothered him at some point during the last two years. Fusilli Jerry told him he needs to use his other arm to use that huge wooden pizza spatula. Deeper leagues looking for an interim fill-in can look at Bryan Shaw.
James Russell – In the crazy but strangely true stat category, is tied for the lead in WAR for RP with Sergio Romo and 3 others, yet has zero saves and zero wins in relief. Congrats on being completely non-stat relevant.
Ryan Madson – Is getting close, the stash time has prolly just about runneth its course. Frieri hasn’t really done enough wrong, nor really seen enough chances, only 5 save chances through the first 32 games. So expect to be possibly whelmed if not slightly underwhelmed for immediate results.
Casey Janssen – Has continued where he left off last year and put up some sneaky great numbers so far this year. He has 13 K’s and his next walk will be his first of the year, and has allowed 3 hits all year. All this while throwing 12 pitches on average an inning. Sergio Santos shakes his fist, hey not your middle finger, I said fist.
As usual with every other week I included a Holds running list of the top 20 guys by stat this year; this is a mixture of fact and my opinion right now based on people looking for Holds and bullpen tendencies.