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When James Shields swung and missed his haymaker yesterday during the Sawx/Rays brawl, Coco should’ve totally spun him around and gave him a springboard splash to the solar plexus. Then once Shields was down, Coco could’ve laid him on top of the Spanish Announcer’s table and dropped the big ‘bow. But, alas…it was Coco Crisp not Koko B. Ware.

Then three innings after the brawl, Manny tweaked a sore hammy and left the game. As he was limping through the dugout, Manny gave Youuuuuuuuk a solid shove. This was heard right before Manny shoved him. Youkilis, “You know with Big Papi on the DL…if you want to teach me the handshake you do with him, I could try to fill in…” Manny, “You’re not my real Papi! I hate you!” *shove* In the next inning, this transpired: Youk, “Sorry about that Manny. I have this extra Chupa Chup lollipop….” Manny, “Gimme! He he he… Thanks, Millar.” Youk, “We talked about this… My name is… Oh forget it.” Anyway, here’s what else I saw yesterday:

Jacoby Ellsbury – Left the game with a strained wrist. No word if the injury was sustained during Chupa Chup Gate.

Jon Lester – One thing he didn’t have to fight was his control. He didn’t issue one walk. Was the first time this year he pulled off this pretty unremarkable feat.

Jair Jurrjens – The fairy Brave dust only lasts so long. Hey, whatever happened to Jaret Wright?

Ryan Franklin/Todd Wellemeyer – 7th save/7-1, respectively. Disrespectively, seriously? Coming into the year, these guys were a combined 62-73 with, like, a crappy ERA.

Brad Ausmus – The Astros are throwing in the Towles and reinstating Brad “I will be featured in a future Razzball Spotlight” Ausmus as their catcher. Razztastic.

Josh Banks – I said this yesterday in the comments, “He’s not a strikeout pitcher so your expectations should stay in line, but he could be worthwhile while the league takes time to catch up to him and he does pitch at Petco.” Wow, I’m brilliant. If they gave out virtual blogger awards I’d have a virtual mantle full in my virtual bathroom so I could pretend I virtually don’t care.

Negro League Draft – Dave Winfield helped organize a ceremonial draft where Negro League players were picked as honorary members of MLB teams. Very touching. It must be a special day for all these players as they approach their twilight years. The biggest applause was for Atlanta’s pick. A middle infielder known for his distinct batting stance and line drive power. His name is Julio Franco.

Jimmy Rollins – Was benched for not running out a popup. By that logic, Pat Burrell should’ve been benched for the last three years.

Homer Bailey – His 2008 debut was thwarted by a Cole Hamels 3 hit shutout. The game was billed as the best matchup of mulleted young pitchers since a young Randy Johnson faced off against Chuck Finley. Bailey’s control problems carried over from AAA (4 BB in 6.1 IP) and he only had 1 K and that was the pitcher. Stick with common sense and don’t add a pitcher with the name ‘Homer’ to your team…

Jay Bruce – Looks like he went oh-for-four yesterday, but we all know that is not possible, so I’m going to assume he was pulling one of those switcheroos like William Hurt does in that movie with the guy from Lost and the black guy with the droopy eye. (I would’ve said *SPOILER ALERT*, but no one would consider that movie something you could spoil and I never even saw the movie, I’m going on the spoiler from the trailer.)

  1. Tony B. says:
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    With Cano still dwelling in the low .200’s, who do you like for a stop-gap at 2B until Cano realizes he is Cano and gets back on track. Casilla or Alexei Ramirez?

  2. wakeNbake says:
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    @Tony B.: Ive had Alexi Casilla for about 2 weeks and I have no complaints. Actually Ive been pleasantly suprised by him. After watching him play against my Yankees, I immediately liked him. Gomez and Casilla at the top of their lineup causes havoc for teams.

    My Question: Im speculating on saves and probable closers. Out of Heath Bell, Brandon Morrow and Taylor Buchholz what order should I look to add them? I like Bell overall but I feel Buchholz or Morrow could be closing soon. Due to Fuentes possibly being traded and JJ Putz pitching so bad, their could be an underlying injury there. What ya think??

  3. Tony B. says:
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    @wakeNBake: I own Fuentes in my league so I’m keeping a close eye on Bucholz. Corpas just hasn’t righted his ship and I have no idea why. I like Morrow purely for the K numbers he is putting up. I can’t see Hoffman being displaced until he officially retires for some reason, but I still do like Bell.

    If you’re going on speculation, Putz definately could have something wrong with him again so I would rank them Morrow, Bucholz, and then Bell.

  4. wakeNbake says:
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    Yeah thats what I was thinking with Heath Bell as well, the only other closer with more job security than Hoffman is Mariano Rivera. Sound advice, thanks man.

  5. johnson says:
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    “throwing in the Towles”… way to reach into your inner jim belushi. as hilarious and original as blues brothers 2000. yes, towles has been horrible. glad i took soto instead. but ausmus may have (hate) fucked diane sawyer. i would too. you go girl.

  6. Endless Summer says:
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    @Tony B.: Alexei Ramirez. He’s really looking comfortable at the plate the last two weeks.

    Since May 26

    15/41 (.366 AVG) 6 R , 6 RBI , 2 HR

    @wakeNbake: Buchholz, Heath Bell, Morrow. I can’t see the Rockies keeping Fuentes around, so Buchholz is a nice pick. You guys are probably right about Hoffman being allowed to play through this season and retire at the end. He looks really bad this year though. Green had a BS June 1st, and had the job earlier in the season. Mariners are a mess so who can trust them to make Morrow the closer instead? It looks like the better move than Green.

  7. Steve says:
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    Whie we’re on the subject of closers, what closer is Bruce worth?

  8. wakeNbake says:
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    What about Fernando Rodney once he returns? Todd Jones isnt exactly blowing people away. Would Rodney be 2nd in line over Zumaya?

  9. Baron Von Vulturewins says:
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    Before yesterday’s Philadelphia-Cincinnati game, Jay Bruce approached Cole Hamels.

    Bruce: I know you’ve been struggling, buddy.

    Cole: It’s true. I never should have cut my mullet. I mean, it was only a trim! But still.

    Bruce: Tell you what. I’ll go oh-fer today.

    Cole: Really? You’d do that? For me?

    Bruce: Sure.

    Cole: Thanks, man. This means a lot to me.

    Bruce: I’m going to hit 3 HRs against that Andrew Miller gimp tomorrow though. Screw him.

    Cole: Yeah, man. Sure. Whatever. Thanks again.

    Bruce: Not a problem. (About to walk away; turns back.) By the way, your elbow’s a little wonky.

    Cole: Really? I don’t feel —

    Bruce: (waves hand) There you go. Don’t worry about it. See ya round kid.

    Cole: See you — hey, where did he go?

    FIN

  10. @Tony B.: Casilla is hitting well right now but it’s a mirage. He was hitting .219 in AAA before being called up. Ramirez has more upside but it seems like the White Sox have 11 2Bs so not sure if they’ll give him a couple weeks in a row to perform. I’d take Ramirez out of the two.

    @wakeNbake: Agree with Tony B’s ranking on best chances at getting saves. Have you factored in Kobayashi in Cleveland? Everyone knows Betencourt is a Cuddle Boy and Borowski is a FEMA (both terms in (http://razzball.com/fantasy-baseball-terms/). He’s more likely to get saves than Bell. But I like Bell over the four for MR.

    @johnson: Jim Belushi? Ouch. That’s a harsh Razz.

    @Steve: I think Bruce can fetch any closer at this point from the right owner. I wouldn’t go lower than a 2nd tier closer (Jenks, Soria).

    @wakeNbake: Jones hasn’t blown people away for years. Rodney is as big a cuddle boy as Betencourt. Zumaya is next in line.

  11. BKK says:
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    Great website.

    Would you do this trade? I give up A-Gonz and The- RIOT and get back Fielder and Renteria

  12. KarlJ says:
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    Haha I love that Piledriver video. Did anyone ever watch that wrestling cartoon on Saturday mornings ( I think was called Hulk Hogan’s Rock n’ Wrestling)?
    I have one league where I have Kent as my 2b. Is he still a better option that someone like Derosa or Theriot who are both available as free agents?

  13. @BKK: Thanks BKK. The Riot and Renteria are interchangable for the most part (minus some SB). And I’d take Fielder over A-Gonz.

    @KarlJ: I remember the cartoon. Good stuff. Kent is hitting well since coming off the DL – he had 2 HR last night. I’d hold onto him unless you really need SB help and go for Riot in that case.

  14. scott says:
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    @ Baron — that shizz was hilarious. You, good sir, are what helps make Razzball grey-t.
    What, no one has anything to say about the “Troy Glaus Experience” last night?

  15. scott says:
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    BTW y’all…leapt from 4th to 1st last night thanks to Uncle Miltie and The Troy Glaus Experience. It’s tight but it feels great to be on top (intended sexual double entrende).

  16. Sam says:
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    Would you trade Markakis for Marcum and Billingsley? Would still have some decent outfielders remaining. I think I should hold out for a better SP for a potentially perennial 30-30 guy like Markakis.

  17. Grey

    Grey says:
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    @Baron Von Vulturewins: hehe

    @scott: Thanks for the grey-t, but on IM I got this from Gamble, “How Rude-y not to mention me.”

    re: Glaus — Is it me or does he have four home runs since I told everyone to grab him?

  18. SaltyBiscuits says:
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    @ BVV
    Haha, nice. Crossing my fingers the 3 dingers actually happen tonight.

    @ All
    So I am deciding between 1 start pitchers for next week, who do you like most?

    Wolf vs LAD, opposed by Derek Lowe – petco, been good recently, dodgers offense failry weak

    Duchsherer vs NYY, opposed by Darrel Rasner – been good all season, murdered in past by A-Rod, Giambi however..

    Hudson @ CHC, opposed by Sean Gallagher – braves on the road = :(

    Kershaw @ DET, opposed by Dontrelle Willis – intriguing.

    Pedro vs TEX, opposed by Doug Mathis – dont really want to start anyone against the josh hamilton crack train.

    thoughts??

  19. Brett Myers is not worth the hit in peripherals for his Ks.

    Please don’t let me forget.

  20. p0rk burn says:
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    @Freak: I think I said that last week . . . listen to p0rk!!!

    @Salty: Don’t like Kershaw, don’t like D-Train. Pass
    Dookie could get murdered again by the Yankees.
    Cubs like to rough people up, Hudson may not be 100%.
    Padres D other than Gonzo is wack.
    Pedro’s arm might fall off during the game, but you should get a few good innings out of him first.

    (e) final answer

  21. RT says:
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    Rasmus is heating up….. Any word? Also, still dumb-founded that Headley is not up.

  22. Grey

    Grey says:
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    @SaltyBiscuits: I’d go between Wolf and Pedro, might come down to what Pedro does on Sunday.

    @RT: Cards OF is pretty crowded right now. I’d hold out hope for Headley first.

  23. SaltyBiscuits says:
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    @ Grey

    That is what I was thinking but still very nervous about that Rangers offense.

    Kinslerm Young, Hamilton, Bradley… very scary right now.

  24. Grey

    Grey says:
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    @SaltyBiscuits: It’s in Shea and Pedro usually can avoid shellings unless he’s not himself. That’s why I said to see what he looks like on Sunday.

  25. Zebo says:
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    @everyone: I have Tim Hudson and Justin Verlander slated to start, but is if safe to play gimpy Hudson against the red hot phillies, and is it sensible to start Verving Verlander against the tribe, a team that has owned him?

  26. IowaCubs

    IowaCubs says:
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    I was just offered Carlos Guillen for Jay Bruce. Should I be worried that this is too good to be true, sorta like your Coco B. Ware pile driver video (which is the best video i’ve seen since the Baseball Boogie)?

    I think I win here, yes?

  27. IowaCubs

    IowaCubs says:
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  28. I fully expect a full market correction on Wellemeyer…I mean come on, the Royals gave up on him…not a good time…we’re talking the ROYALS.

    As for Franklin, I don’t look at the seventh save, I look at him serving up that two run bomb to Dukes in the bottom of the tenth as more of his trend…here’s to watching LaRussa pull his hair out by the end of the month.

  29. IowaCubs

    IowaCubs says:
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    I tried to submit the video for the Baseball Boogie, but it wouldn’t let me leave the link. You’ll all just have to go to YouTube and enter a search for “Baseball Boogie.” It’s painful to watch, so beware.

  30. IowaCubs

    IowaCubs says:
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    @Zebo: I would start them both, but I always start my best pitchers.

  31. cockyphoenix says:
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    @Zebo: Eating a loss is not as bad as missing a shutout. Take it from me I missed a Hamels shutout yesterday because some uncertainty about his health had me hesitant to start him and I ended up missing out. Unless your IP is at like +100 I’d start ‘em both.

    @Baron Von Vulturewins: hahaha

  32. Zebo says:
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    if you look at Verlander, he served up an ER per IP last year to Cleveland, and that was last year’s version of Verlander. I have more faith in Hudson, but he is not 100%, I don’t know. I think I may end up starting Hudson and sitting Verlander, and be 7 ERs happier at the end of the day.

  33. Chet says:
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    I give Big Z/K. Wood/R. Howard and I get M. Cabrera and D. Lee. I’m contemplating it because I need 3b help and lead in saves and am over on innings pitched and need more K’s. Stupid?

  34. Frank Rizzo says:
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    I’d like an opinion on this potential blockbuster.

    I give David Wright, Granderson, Victorino.

    I get Ryan Howard, Alfonso Soriano

    He needs depth in the OF and wants a stud 3b. I’d like power in my lineup. I’d lose a ton of speed from my team but still have Kinsler, Crawford, Furcal, Abreu, McLouth, and Delmon Young so I still have some speed. I also may lose out on some R’s and BA but the HR’s, RBI, and total bases are areas I could use help.

    I’d move Miggy Cabrera to my 3b and I’d be starting Howard where I was playing Miggy. Soriano would become my CF to go with Crawford in left, and Abreu in right, as well as McLouth and Delmon Young as backups.

    How do you like that?

  35. Endless Summer says:
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    @Baron Von Vulturewins: lol. I am now willing to accept Babe Bruce as my outfield savior.

    @BKK: Fielder is due. I think he’s the best player in that trade by far, so I’d do it.

    @Sam: I’d want Billingsley, but see if you can get him for someone besides Nake Markickass. Marcum is pitching very well, but he had a 4.68 ERA last year after the all star break. Maybe he improves this year, but something to consider.

    @RT: I think Rasmus is a September call-up. St. Louis outfield is crowded, and Rasmus was struggling because St. Louis wanted him to work on going opposite field so he’d be a better hitter once he hit the majors. I think he’s ditched that and gone back to his old habits, if you’ve followed some of the drama surrounding his family, namely his dad. Joe Mather was crushing the ball at AA Springfield last year, and AAA Memphis this year. Keep an eye on him.

    @Zebo: Verlander has been okay his last 4 starts. The Tigers desperately need to have a great homestand against the Indians and the White Sox to get back in the race. If Verlander is going to sack up and pitch a gem this season, I’d say today is the day. I’d start them both, but I start all of my pitchers.

  36. cockyphoenix says:
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    @Zebo: I can see you sitting Verlander, but I’m not so sure about Hudson still. He has been struggling recently, but the last 2 were road games and the second of those was against Jay Bruce and 8 other guys so he gets a free pass. He’s pitched very well at Turner this year, and his bullpen is better for the return of Soriano.

    As for my team, I couldn’t deal Putz to anybody. What are the odds he comes back to at least a decent closer level? Since I have 4 others I don’t need him to be ’07 good, just 30 saves good. I ended up settling on this trade instead–remember I had to get rid of a closer because I had too many to start.

    Fielder/Harang to me, Jenks/Atkins to him

    I think I bought low on both those guys; I didn’t sell my dudes short I hope

  37. IowaCubs

    IowaCubs says:
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    @Grey: I’m all for not doing that either, except I’m too impatient. What’a a good return for him. I need someone Victorino-y with 3B eligibility. Figgins?

  38. Grey

    Grey says:
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    @IowaCubs: Figgins will be in today’s Buy post. So yeah.

  39. Frank Rizzo says:
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    @Grey: Damnit Grey. why? WHY?

    How did I know you’d say that?

    You think in Wright I’m giving up too much or I’m giving up too many stats for the 3 guys than I am with the 2?

    Part of the reason I’m trading is to get rid of some OF. I’ve compiled too much from the WW early. I’m trying to get something out of all my depth.

    What would you do?

  40. Endless Summer says:
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    @Chet: Howard makes his big paychecks based on his second halves of the baseball season. I’d have no problem trading Big Z and Wood, and would do your trade. Cabrera is seriously underrated this year. His AVG isn’t .320 but the rest of the stats are fine.

    @Frank Rizzo: Wow, you have a ton of speed. If you are fine trading David Wright, I am too. Nice to have Miguel Cabrera as a backup.

  41. p0rk burn says:
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    @Chet: I think you burning down your house to get rid of some mice with that trade.

    @cockyphoenix: That trade forced me to go change my drawers. I like it.

  42. Endless Summer says:
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    @cockyphoenix: Nicely done. Fielder is a nice buy low, and I always trade for Goatboy Harang, nobody loves him.

  43. RT says:
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    @Endless Summer:

    Thanks on the Mather heads-up. I’ve been watching him as well.

  44. Baron Von Vulturewins says:
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    @scott: Thanks!

    @Frank Rizzo: I’m curious too. I think it’s not a bad trade for you, given your options. I assume you’re talking Alfonso Soriano, not Rafael.

    Don’t expect many steals coming back your way from Alfonso Gimpiano, however.

  45. Chase says:
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    I have a new post idea. One thats all about underperforming players and whether or not they will turn it around.

  46. peter says:
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    @Endless Summer: re: Miguel Cabrera being underrated this year… I wanted to disagree w/ you – this is my 2nd year w/ him in one league and have been a little disappointed. But, sure enough, you’re absolutely right. The stats:

    through 6/5/07: 10 HR, 40 RBI, 320 avg
    through 6/5/08: 8 HR, 34 RBI, .271 avg

    Yeah, the avg is way down – but I don’t think it’s any cause for concern. Everything else is pretty much right on track…

  47. Cory says:
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    On the subject of baseball brawls, this is the greatest thing I have ever seen.

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XzR-paXH5D8

    Maybe you have seen this already, but I hadn’t until yesterday and my life is forever better.

  48. p0rk burn says:
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    @Chase: You mean . . . like a buy/sell column? I think some of the “Buy” advice is the underperforming players that you should try to get for cheap because they are going to turn it around.

  49. p0rk burn says:
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    @Cory: Yeah, that kick to the catcher’s chest is one of the all time great moves in baseball brawl history. Its up there with Ventura charging Nolan Ryan – if you aren’t Ventura.

  50. Frank Rizzo says:
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    @BVV: Thanks, I don’t think it’s a bad trade for me either. I’d like to hear why others think it would be. I’m losing Wright, a stud 3b but I’m inserting Howard at 1b then and moving Miggy from my 1b to my 3b. Then I’m losing Granderson and Victorino but I’m gaining Soriano to go with Abreu, Crawford, plus McLouth and Delmon Young in my OF.

    I lose SB’s but I still have good speed on my team. So instead of starting Miggy 1b, Wright 3b, and either Granderson or Victorino at C…I’m starting Howard 1b, Miggy 3b, and Soriano at C. That’s pretty much what it boils down to. Kind of a power lineup vs a speed lineup.

  51. Steve says:
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    Guys – Renteria is like a lead weight on my team right now (at least he was a late pick for me). I also have George the catcher whose arm seems as though it’s about to part company with his shoulder.
    I have Doumit so what sort of an SS could these two get me?

  52. SaltyBiscuits says:
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    @ Frank Rizzo

    Don’t trade D. Wright. He will be a top 5 offensive player at the end of this season, Howard won’t.

    Oh yeah, in case you were wondering, I am a diehard Mets fan and David Wright is my personal lord and savior. So take my advice with a grain of salt.

  53. @Steve: Maybe that gets you Furcal from a nervous owner? Michael Young and Jeter would be nice albeit safe gets. Maybe Edgar’s replacement, Yunel Escobar?

  54. peter says:
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    @Steve: Yeah, I was thinking Furcal, too. You may be inheriting lingering back issues, but still – the reward is high.

  55. Hank

    Hank says:
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    I’m looking to acquire some pitching, what would a Soto fetch? Also, at this point what would you give up to acquire Lincecum, Soto+Felix? Thanks.

  56. peter says:
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    @Hank: I think giving up Felix+Soto is too much for Lincecum. You’d be better off sticking with what you’ve got.

    I take it you already have Felix? Because I would’ve suggested him as an interesting target for Soto. My thoughts are that you should target a #1 pitcher. Not Johan or Webb, but maybe Peavy’s owner is nervous about how he’ll hold up for the rest of the season? But if I could get John Lackey for Soto, straight up, I’d do it.

  57. Hank

    Hank says:
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    Giles or Carlos Gonzalez?

  58. Grey

    Grey says:
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    @Hank: Gonzalez, please.

  59. Hank

    Hank says:
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    @Grey: Only because you asked nicely. Would you trade CC and Felix for Pujols?

  60. peter says:
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    @Hank: I’d almost rather have MARCUS Giles than Brian Giles.

  61. peter says:
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    @Hank: Sorry, should have mentioned it was my league where we use 2005 stats.

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