LOGIN

Dallas Braden threw a perfect game yesterday as every single Rays hitter chickened out and didn’t step on the mound.  If you know something gets in a guy’s head, don’t you exploit that?  I say you send a pinch hitter, say, Pat Burrell out there JUST to step on the mound.  So Braden’s still not someone I’d be excited to own in mixed leagues.  His K-rate is poor, though he has, obviously, found some success with his changeup.  In his game after his perfect game, Buehrle gave up 5 earned in 6 1/3 innings.  So perfect is nice, but it means little.  If you happen to own Braden, I’d see what he could get in a trade.  Anyway, here’s what else I saw this weekend in fantasy baseball:

Tim Stauffer – 5 IP, 0 ER, 6 baserunners, 1 K.  Stauffer filled in for Correia, who missed the start with a family emergency.  I’ve owned Stauffer in one NL-Only league for the last couple of weeks, hoping that he would work his way into the rotation.  This probably isn’t that opening, but at some point it’ll come for Stauffer.  Either way, he’s been great in middle relief, sporting a 0.39 ERA and 0.94 WHIP, with just over 8 Ks per 9.  Worth owning for MR ratio help.

Carlos Lee – Now has 2 homers in the last week.  He told the media, “I don’t know if I’m going to play after this contract.  I’m ready to go home.  The Astros just suck the life out of you.”  I added the last sentence, but it was implied.

Hunter Pence – 3-for-5 with a homer.  Someone had to step up because the Astros’ best hitter so far was out of the lineup.  You know, Geoff Blum.  Actually, that’s a lie.  The top three average hitters on the Astros so far are Wandy Rodriguez batting .364, Felipe Paulino batting .333 and Geoff Blum’s third at .327, but I’m not counting pitchers.  Though maybe the Astros might want to.

Jose Reyes – 2-for-4 yesterday as he stole his 7th and 8th base.  Currently batting .237.  He’ll be batting .255 with 17 steals by the end of the month.  So says 1-800-My-Brain.

Bobby Jenks – Gave up 3 earned runs as he blew the save yesterday.  After the game, Ozzie said they have lots of other options.  Thornton’s the first pickup.  Sergio Santos has also been terrific, but I don’t think he gets the job.  Linebrink’s at least three chiefs (I almost spelled that chieves.  My name is Grey Albright and I’m dumb.)  down the totem.  In some leagues, I grabbed Putz.  In other leagues, I simply grabbed my putz.

Alex Rios – 4-for-4, batting .324 with 6 homers and 9 steals.  I wouldn’t sell him short, I think the 20/20 season could finally be coming.

Troy Tulowitzski – Left the game after aggravating his quad.  That’s the last time he says he likes his hamstring better.  He’s day-to-dayski.

Tyler Clippard – He has a 0.76 ERA and 6 wins.  Cust shaking my head.

Livan Hernandez – 7 IP, 1 ER, 6 baserunners, 3 Ks.  His ERA jumped from 0.99 to 1.04.  See, I told you a correction was coming!

Starlin Castro – 1-for-3 yesterday.  Like 19-for-19 and 200 RBIs.  It’s Cubkakke!

Mike Leake – 7 IP, 3 ER, 5 baserunners, 6 Ks.  Ever since his 2nd start of the year, walks haven’t been an issue.  Little reason why you shouldn’t take a chance on Leake.  Even in 8 team leagues where you own all 8 teams under different aliases.

Cameron Maybin – Got into the game as the pinch hitter and only has 6 ABs in the last 4 games.  Here’s Maybin, here’s you punting Maybin.

Ian Kennedy – 7 IP, 2 ER, 7 baserunners, 5 Ks was outpitched by Chris Narveson, whose name sounds like it would be The Noid’s Christian name if The Noid wasn’t just a fictional advertising character.  No shame in it for Kennedy.  For what it’s Wuertz, I’d take Kennedy over Braden.  As for Narveson, Avoid The Noid.

Clayton Kershaw – 8 IP, 5 baserunners (3 BBs) and 9 Ks.  As I said last week when he shat the bed then invited you for a sleepover, Kershaw wasn’t good beginning of last year either and you still drafted him this year, so he must’ve been okay the rest of the year, right?

Matt Kemp – Now has 7 caught stealings.  Doode, loaf in center.  No loaf on the basepaths.  Loaf, no loaf.  Loaf, no loaf.  Are we clear?

Ervin Santana – 6 2/3 IP, 5 ER, 13 baserunners, 5 Ks.  See, these are the most frustrating starters.  Throws well against the Sawx, then the M’s treat him like a gingie.

Michael Saunders – 2-for-4 with a homer yesterday.  You’ll need to platoon him because he’s sitting vs. lefties.  Or you can just ignore him altogether.

Mike Aviles – 3-for-4 and a homer as he bats .417 since his return.  Well, he’s no Yuniesky Betancourt.  Thankfully.

Brian Matusz – 3 2/3 IP, 6 ER as he roofied his owners.

Brad Lidge – Got his first save of the year as everyone at Citizens Flank exhaled.

Kerry Wood – Pitched in the seventh inning yesterday as Chris Perez mullet’d down the Tigers in the 9th for his 5th save.  Wood should be closing on Tuesday.  Here’s hoping he doesn’t get injured before that.

Grady Sizemore – Hit his first homer of the year on Friday, until the weather washed it away.  Chief Wahoo sheepishly apologized, “When Sizemore homered, I got so excited I started dancing and, well, it was the rain dance.”