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That title is for all of you metrosexual readers, and you thought I’d forget about you.  My apologies to our four girl readers that I didn’t go with the title, “A’s Sign the 4th Yoenis Brother.”  I know how much you love their music.  So the A’s signed Yoenis Cespedes yesterday, the latest Cuban raftee.  Is Cespedes Spanish for six feet?  That’s gotta be a challenge to get them all in the batter’s box!  Though it will make it easier to run up outfield fences like Bo Jackson and he’ll have three times the hip rotation of the average hitter.  He’ll be faster, but 1) Will have three times the chance of pulling a hamstring and 2) Will have to dive headfirst or he’ll be real easy to tag out.  So the A’s signed the Human Cespedes, but what can we expect from him for 2012 fantasy baseball?

Since thirty-six million dollars, the price paid for Yoenis, is three times Beane’s yearly salary (according to Hollywood), I think Yoenis gets a starting job and is given every chance to succeed.  “The playing time is there — now the Yoenis is on you!”  That’s Jonah Hill in the sequel because he screams puns now that he’s skinny.  The speed that Yoenis shows in his Tom Emanski-produced videos is great, but I think Emanski might be putting some CGI effects on there.  I’m willing to give him 12 steals, which is optimistic since he won’t know pitchers’ moves.  The power is another question.  Last year in Cuba, he clubbed a new Cuban record of 33 home runs (354 ABs), though right now it’s sorta been an explosion of home runs in Cuba.  Castro, you juicing the balls?  Last year in Cuba, Jose Abreu (check Ancestry.com for his relation to Bobby) hit 33 homers too in only 212 ABs.  Yoenis’s Cuban park was also one of the easier parks to hit in, but he hit quite a few on the road (18 of 33).  Now some have concluded that playing in the Cuban league can be compared to A ball.  That would leave new raftees in a hole.  Put another way, if you grab Yoenis in a fantasy draft too soon, you might be an a-hole.

Clay Davenport uses one part magic and two parts gumption to come up with a formula to translate Cuban stats to the majors.  He has Yoenis down for 22 homers and a .245 average with 8 steals.  That wasn’t considering the A’s play in another one of those -co parks that does no favors for hitters.  So the best case scenario is Adam Jones and the worst case scenario is the Bay of Pigs II with Yoenis’s value serving as a torpedo.  For 2012, I’ll give Yoenis the line of 65/20/80/.250/12.  If you take those projections, you’ll probably know where he’s going to get ranked.  If you need a hint, it’s in the top 40 outfielders for 2012 fantasy baseball.  Not someone I would want to take a chance on in most fantasy leagues, unless he’s coming as a bargain.  Also, the outfield suddenly gets real crowded in Oaktown for others.  Can always give Bubb Rubb a call, I’m sure he can find trouble for one of them.  I believe starting now will be The Cereal, Josh Reddick and Yoenis Cespedes.  You know who can’t catch a break?  The Lisper’s Nightmare, Seth Smith — Thith ith ridiculouth!

From Around The Web

  1. Terrence Mann says:
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    How do I know I’m spending too much time on Roto?

    I made a sales call today to a guy and sent him an email with the details and numbers . He replied to said email. After a quick search, realized he is the sports editor of a certain NW daily. I tried to maintain professional integrity but felt obligated to ask him if he had the scoop on who’s batting leadoff for the M’s.

    • Grey

      Grey says:
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      @Terrence Mann, Ha! And who did he say?

      • Terrence Mann says:
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        @Grey, His guess is Lackey but he said he wouldn’t be surprised if it was still Ichiro.

        • Terrence Mann says:
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          @Terrence Mann, Ackley

    • Grey

      Grey says:
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      @mic, Thanks!

  2. Muchaco says:
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    Will this push Seth Smith into a DH role or onto the bench?

    • Grey

      Grey says:
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      @Muchaco, It remains to be seen right now who’s playing, but I think Smith becomes a platoon guy. Will depend on Chris Carter, Michael Taylor, Daric Barton and Kila.

  3. JoeC says:
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    A’s fan websites are overjoyed by this move. Why do I not share that optimism? I don’t know… I mean ANY kind of offense added to the A’s is good, but 9 million a year? That seems like a lotta cheese for a guy who hasn’t proven that he can, you know, hit in the major leagues.

    It just seems like the A’s are doing baseball backwards these days. Think about how difficult it is to hit while facing the backstop! That’s the A’s.

    • Grey

      Grey says:
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      @JoeC, Ha!

  4. chata says:
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    aw geez .
    now , what’s clowny going to do ?

  5. chata says:
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    dreading the start of spring training , without a contract ?

    • chata says:
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      @chata,

      maybe selig will cut his suspension to 25 games , if he sits out
      another whole season .

      • Grey

        Grey says:
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        @chata, Clowny’s got some esplaining to do.

  6. ritzer says:
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    Billy Beane spending 36m on an untested Cuban does to moneyball the same thing ruben carter being guilty does to hurricane.

    • Grey

      Grey says:
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      @ritzer, Ha!

  7. El Famous Burrito says:
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    Speaking of crowded fields, nice work adding another girl reader.

    • Grey

      Grey says:
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      @El Famous Burrito, We’re diversifying!

  8. Eddy says:
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    Grey,

    This title is gold. My favorite one of the year. And the alternate girl title is hilarious as well. Job well done, sir.

    • Grey

      Grey says:
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      @Eddy, It was Rudy’s doing.

  9. Ronkonkoma says:
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    I am in a 10 team H2H points league. It is the fist year we are KEEPING. I can only keep 3 players. I am keeping Pujols and Kemp. Please help with my 3rd…. Matt Holliday, Phillips, Jennings or Brett Lawrie?

    • El Famous Burrito says:
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      @Ronkonkoma

      IMO Lawrie.

      • Ronkonkoma says:
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        @El Famous Burrito, I forgot to add Uggla is another keeping option…

  10. Mr2Bits says:
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    Grey,
    Would you give up your first round pick in the MiLB draft for any of the following?

    Aaron Hicks OF
    Michael Taylor OF
    Mike Montgomery SP

    Prob say all of the top 10-20 MiLB players are gone as this is a keepers league and we have been running a farm system for 8 years.

    • Grey

      Grey says:
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      @Mr2Bits, Who is going to be in the 1st round otherwise?

    • TheNewGuy says:
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      @Mr2Bits, Just my take but im doing a prospect draft too currently and our first round consisted of the likes of Darvish, Starling, Rendon, Cole, Hultzen etc. Yours’ll likely be the same, so I’d keep your first round pick.

      • Mr2Bits says:
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        @TheNewGuy, Thats correct and appreciate the help all.

        Grey/TheNewGuy : You have a list you have for MiLB rankings or a site you recommend?

  11. Mike says:
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    Would you take Cepedes as second pick in a “prospect” draft, assuming Yu Darvish goes at 1.

    Or would you go with a Gerrit Cole / Trevor Bauer / Anthony Rendon pick in a H2H league with OPS.

    • Grey

      Grey says:
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      @Mike, I’d take Cespedes.

    • Grey

      Grey says:
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      @Mr Baseball, Ha!

    • chata says:
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      @Mr Baseball,

      nice job !

  12. The Talented Mr. Dope Man says:
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    The Lisper’s Nightmare, Seth Smith — Thith ith ridiculouth!

    HAHAHAHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

    • Grey

      Grey says:
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      @The Talented Mr. Dope Man, Hehe

    • TheNewGuy says:
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      @The Talented Mr. Dope Man, hehe

  13. Does anyone know the rookies that yahoo added to their list this year that was not on the list last year that have some kind of future in baseball assuming that the Mayan Calendar prediction does not come through

    • Grey

      Grey says:
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      @Mr Baseball, Not sure, Mr. Baseball.

    • mic says:
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      @Mr Baseball, sticking with the A’s theme: brad peacock, tom milone…

  14. joe from point pleasant says:
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    @Grey:

    12 team H2H POINTS leauge (5 keepers)

    -You get a $10 million salary cap to keep 5 players

    -Every year you keep a player, their contract value increases by $1 million

    -Anyone drafted after round 10, that stays on your roster an entire year, can be kept for free (a means of rewarding smart drafting)

    These are the 5 players i plan on keeping and their respective contracts:
    Verlander ($2 mil)
    King Felix ($2 mil)
    Strasburg (Free) <– i took a shot on him rnd 15 and DL'ed him all year
    Votto ($2 mil)
    Tulo ($2 mil)

    I also own Cargo who i was planning on throwing back into the draft this year….

    I got offered Roy Halladay ($2 millon) for Strasburg (Free) and Cargo who really doesnt matter much because I couldn't keep him anyway.

    It'd be pretty tough to beat a team with Halladay, Verlander, Felix, Tulo, and Votto which would leave me right at the $10 million dollar cap.

    Should I pull the trigger and let go of Strasburg who would be free for this year and only $1 million next year? I am very curious to hear your thoughts on this.

    Thanks Grey!

    • Grey

      Grey says:
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      @joe from point pleasant, I’d hold. If anything I’d look to move one of your top starters for a top bat.

  15. Paul Wilson says:
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    The Cuban Raftees – that’s the name of my band!

    Or… the name of your new fantasy team??

    Points based league! Filling spots before early March auction! Currently have filled 4 of 12 openings! $9.99 to register.

    Hitting
    AB -1.0
    H 5.6
    2B 2.9
    3B 5.7
    HR 9.4
    BB 3.0
    HBP 3.0
    SB 1.9
    CS -2.8
    Pitching
    IP 7.4
    K 2.0
    H -2.6
    BB -3.0
    HBP -3.0
    HR -12.3
    SV 5.0
    HOLDS 4.0
    You’ve been invited to join a fantasy baseball league named Irish Monks at ottoneu. You must be a registered user first, and then just click here to join the league.

    • Grey

      Grey says:
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      @Paul Wilson, Your link is breaking the page. Try again with a tinyurl.

  16. Random Collmenter says:
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    holy shit “Human Cespedes” is hilarious. kudos.

    – just read the “Three Nights In August” book about Tony LaRussa – it’s freakin’ incredible. Highly recommend if you haven’t read it. never thought i’d be so interested in a regular season series that happened 9 years ago between two teams i don’t like.

    • Grey

      Grey says:
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      @Random Collmenter, Wow, really that good? Have to check it out.

      • Random Collmenter says:
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        @Grey, it’s seriously incredible. really gives great insight into the manager’s millions of split-second decisions during the game, as well as gives some great backstories of other players/managers. and he pulls no punches – calls out JD Drew for being lazy, etc. it’s by the guy who wrote the “friday night lights” book.

        some people interpreted it as a “response book” to moneyball, about how old school baseball men play the game as opposed to new school stat-freaks (like us), but i just see it as an insightful book by a passionate, lifelong baseball fan who had unprecedented access to the cardinals clubhouse. let me know what you think of it if you get a chance to check it out!

        • Grey

          Grey says:
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          @Random Collmenter, Oh, it’s by Buzz Bissinger? I’ve never read anything by him. Like the show created from his book, though I doubt that had much to do with the book. Interesting that a manager makes that many decisions, when it seems like they’re not doing much but scratching themselves.

          • Random Collmenter says:
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            @Grey, yeah, i wish kirk gibson would stop calling the suicide squeeze by pinching his junk.

            • Grey

              Grey says:
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              @Random Collmenter, Less obvious than pumping his fist.

        • ChillmanCometh says:
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          @Random Collmenter, My dad read that a few years back, and he gave it high praise. I’ll have to see if he still has it.

          And I’m only basing this off of your comment claiming some viewed this as a response to Moneyball, but it’s funny that it would be seen as a response now considering Tony relied so heavily on matchup data (though unsuccessfully or because we watched Tony go through the early stages of dementia) this October.

          • Random Collmenter says:
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            @ChillmanCometh, not to mention dave duncan’s reliance on computer analysis.

            yeah, in the paperback version there’s an epilogue basically dissing the “Moneyballistas.” pretty entertaining.

  17. Swaggerjackers says:
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    De Aza just got the big FukU from the White Sox by signing Fukudome. I’ll be removing him from my late flier list now.

    • Grey

      Grey says:
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      @Swaggerjackers, Fukudome is pretty much a platoon guy, but it doesn’t help De Aza’s value.

      • Swaggerjackers says:
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        @Grey, I’ll target Tabata instead.

  18. Random Collmenter says:
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    btw anyone how you get a little icon image by your name? i uploaded one at gravatar.com but it’s not working.

    • Grey

      Grey says:
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      @Random Collmenter, It should work on inline comments, not the first.

      • Random Collmenter says:
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        @Grey, BOOM! (thanks)

        • Grey

          Grey says:
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          @Random Collmenter, Ha, nice image!

        • Swaggerjackers says:
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          @Random Collmenter, I get it Random C. Clever.

  19. anon says:
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    So, it took longer than the 7 days that were advertised, but Lou Ferrigno just called my friend and gave him a motivational pep talk. He said it was incomprehensible, which makes both of us think it was actually Ferrigno. One of my other friends (a longtime razzball reader) is having a kid as we speak and he is getting a congratulations on the baby call from Mr. Belding.

    • Grey

      Grey says:
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      @anon, HA! That’s awesome! Too bad you can’t say anything to your friend prior to the call but he should ask Mr. Belding what’s the deal with Dimples. It’s a karaoke bar that he goes to in Hollywood literally 5 nights a week.

      • PWNightmare says:
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        @Grey, He owns Dimples.

  20. Curt says:
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    Kealleper league……I was offered Pedroia(2nd round) and his 11th pick for Putz(8th round) and Pineda(23rd round)……all comments welcome.

    • Grey

      Grey says:
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      @Curt, Eh

  21. L-Boogie says:
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    If AJ gets traded to the Pirates, does he move up from a 26th round flyer to a 25th round flyer?

    More importantly, is it “flyer” or “flier”?

    Thanks, dude.

    • Grey

      Grey says:
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      @L-Boogie, I use flyer.

  22. Mr2Bits says:
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    Grey :

    Which do you prefer?

    Hamilton (7th round Keeper) for McCann(21st round keeper)

    or

    Youk (15th round Keeper) for McCann(21st round keeper)

    Guy in my league is looking to deal McCann

    Here are my keepers

    Roy Halladay – 1st round – Keeper
    Josh Hamilton – 7th round -Keeper
    James Shields – 15th Round – Keeper
    Kevin Youkilis – 15th round – Keeper
    Chris Young – 21st round – Keeper
    Jose Bautista – 23rd round – Keeper
    Lance Berkman – FA – Keeper
    Howie Kendrick – FA – Keeper

    • Grey

      Grey says:
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      @Mr2Bits, Youk

  23. theguarantee says:
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    This entire deal is just entirely weird. That is an awful lot of luchini Billy Beane tossed at him. Color me a sucker but I’m going to make an assumption that Billy Beane has some sense of what he’s doing still…despite all the evidence pointing to the contrary. Drafting Yoenis all over for the fun of it.

    • Grey

      Grey says:
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      @theguarantee, Ha

  24. Goose says:
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    Grey, thanks for all the great prep work for 2012. Got a general question and then a couple specific ones. Specific-ish anyway. You’ll see.

    General: do you have some insight / are you going to do a post on keeper-league rankings and draft strategy? Our 6×6, 14t roto league rebooted this offseason, so we’re starting from scratch. Just looking for some draft strategy help, esp about balancing youngsters vs oldsters.

    Thus, specific-ish: how much higher do you bump young guys (eg: Strasburg, Heyward, Darvish, Ackley, etc)?

    And specific-er: Would you put guys like Hosmer and Lawrie late in Rd 2 (again, 14-team league), above an older pitcher like Adverb? Do you bump F-Her above Adverb?

    My top ten looks like: Miggy, Pujols, Longo, Votto, Tulo, Kemp, J-Up, Bautista, Fielder, Stanton. Agree/dis?

    Thanks, Grey for any thoughts!

    • Grey

      Grey says:
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      @Goose, I’d bump up younger guys a few rounds depending on who they are. That top ten looks solid, I wouldn’t mess around too much with F-Her over Lee type changes. You still want to win this year.

  25. Grey

    Grey says:
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    ***THERE’S A NEW POST.****

  26. PWNightmare says:
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    The Ces Tape lets us know that Yoenis can catch a pop up behind his back and leg press two Cubans. Does baseball have an equivalent to the Harlem Globtrotters?

  27. Confused Guy says:
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    Don’t really know why I’m even writing this because I’m pretty sure I know what u and your mustache are going to answer but what the hell I need someone to just give a boot in the right direction. I’m in a 16 man, 5 keeper man league. My five are Hosmer, McCutchen, Beltre, Price and Felix. Another person in the league offered me Ellsbury for Price straight up. Before you move on to the next question thinking this confused guy is dumb as shizz, let me do a little explaining on why I’m debating this. I don’t trust Ellsbury one bit not sure if it’s cause he is injury prone or if it’s cause without 20 bombs he’s just another Brett Gardner. If u could just let me know what to do and maybe a little explaination on why you think it would be the right move. P.S. Huge fan Gery and this website was key in me winning this league last year. Keep it up cause their ain’t anyone better.

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