Brandon Belt was recalled yesterday in the wake of Buster Posey’s broken fibula — no lie! So far this year, Belt was hitting a cool (shouldn’t it be hot?) .351 with 4 homers and 3 steals in thirty games…If you ignore what he did in the major leagues. Why did he fail in his first go around? Was it bad luck? P to the erhaps. Was it just a small sample size? That’s what she said! Was it the pressure of the call up? Well, filling in for Buster Posey shouldn’t be any pressure. I think it was a combination of all of these things. Bad luck triggers the hitter to press while hanging over them is the fear of a demotion. It’s damaging to the psyche, I tell ya. Don’t worry, I won’t bill you by the hour for this. (I’m really just reading off my Freud day-to-day desk calendar anyway.) In all leagues, grab Belt like Mr. Furley would. His potential is too great to not take the flyer. He can still get to double digit power and speed with a solid average. Anyway, here’s what else I saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:
Buster Posey – As I was writing this Whiskeytown’s Somebody Remembers The Rose came on my iTunes. Ryan Adams may be a total douchebag, but he sure knows how to soundtrack my life. Somebody remembers the Posey… What are the dangers of glove… When you hear this Posey news, you don’t have to be a 14-year-old girl to want to text someone sad emoticons and exaggerated punctuation. Posey’s gone for a while. In honor of Buster Posey, Ghirardelli chocolate will be releasing a candy bar in his name. It is similar to a Kit Kat but already comes pre-broken.
Ryan Vogelsong – 8 IP, 1 ER, 9 baserunners, 3 Ks. I’d say he’s going to be in this afternoon’s Buy/Sell, but he’s here now. What, you need things told to you twice? What, you need things told to you twice? Vogelsong isn’t nearly the pitcher he’s showing right now, but you may as well ride the coaster until the guy in front of you gets sick.
Nolan Reimold – 4-for-4, 4 RBIs, 2 runs, 2 home runs and he even attempted a steal. Giddy up, snitches! Could be the 2nd coming of Jesus (my gardener who played semi-professional ball but couldn’t hit a curve). Or he might be a hot schmotato. Either way, I’d grab him in all leagues where you’re struggling to find a decent 5th outfielder.
Eric Hosmer – 0-for-6, hitting .257; 3 for his last 23. Was what I was talking about when he was first called up and everyone was crazy for the rookie nookie and I told you to sell him. Rooks and valleys, baby. Rooks and valleys.
Justin Morneau – Was reported that he might need postseason surgery for a neck injury that is bothering him. Fitting. He’s been a pain in the neck for me all year.
Homer Bailey – I hope you’re sitting down. Actually, stand up, then sit down again just to make sure you’re actually sitting down and not hovering in the crouching position. Okay, ready? Bailey’s hurt. Shocking! He’s going to have exams. My advice to him is, when in doubt, answer C.
Jay Bruce – 2-for-4, and his 4th homer in the last five games. Feels oddly quiet on the Bruce front considering this is the breakout everyone has been waiting years for. Maybe people are scared if they talk about it it (stutterer!) will go away. He can put up 30+ homers and 15 steals with great counting stats, i.e., a number one outfielder.
Chase Utley – Hit his first home run of the year. According to the box score, at Citizens Flank there were 45,650 people or 104.6% of capacity. That means about 2,000 people fell asleep in their seats during the previous 19-inning game.
Jose Contreras – Returned with a perfect inning. In related news, the Phils clubhouse man restocked the shelves with Efferdent.
Grant Balfour – 1 IP, 3 ER. His first appearance since being named the A’s closer and his first Kazaam. Nice. Freakin’ schmohawk.
Philip Humber – 7 2/3 IP, 1 ER, 7 baserunners, 3 Ks. Ugh. I just wish all pitchers with terrible K-rates would pitch poorly. Make my life much easier. I can’t advise you pick up Humber outside of very deep leagues.
Russell Branyan – Angels signed him. Of course, the Sciosciapath is going to platoon him with Trumbo. Branyan is such a prospblock.
Howie Kendrick – To the 15-day DL. I say Halo, you say goodbye.
Carlos Pena – Hit a homer yesterday. $5 says he hits three more by Monday.
R.A. Dickey – Mets are reporting an injury to Dickey. Who let Lorena Bobbitt near the clubhouse? Everyone but three readers just winced.
Frank Francisco – Blue Jays announced they would go to a three person closer committee with Frank2, Rauch and Dotel. Personally, I hate when people start sentences with personally and I think Dotel has the best stuff.
Anibal Sanchez – 9 IP, 0 ER, 7 baserunners, 8 Ks. First clue I’m human, when I overheard an old woman tell someone she showers while sitting on a stool, I shivered. Second clue, I dropped Anibal Sanchez after his 2nd start of the year.
Max Scherzer – 2 IP, 7 ER. Our favorite German Jew was blitzkrieged by the Red Sox. I took a lot of heat for telling people to start him yesterday. Hindsight is obviously 20/20, but he had something like a 2.50 ERA and near a K per inning since last June. That, guys and three girls, you start everywhere. Sorry it didn’t work, I’ll wash your car for you.* (*Offer not valid anywhere in the Eastern, Western, Southern or Northern Hemispheres.)
Carl Crawford – 4-for-5, 2 runs and 3 RBIs. I’m guessing the slumpbuster for Crawford was some townie MTV girl by the name of Charlene.
Drew Sutton – 5 for his last 10 and started in place of an ice cold Lowrie yesterday. A few years ago, Sutton went 20/20 while in the Astros organization, then struggled for two years. If he keeps hitting, I’d bench Lowrie too.
Josh Reddick – 3-for-5, 3 RBIs and his 1st steal. Has some power and light speed. In Triple-A, he’s failed to get above .266 in any season. If he were to play every day, which I wouldn’t even say is a guarantee because of Mike Cameron, he could hit 15-20 homers and steal 10 bases with a .250 average. He’s a solid pick up for AL-Only leagues. In mixed leagues, you can take the flyer for some lightning in a bottle. BTW, is it me or does Josh Reddick sound like the star of a porn version of Big where the Zoltar machine makes your wish come true if you stick your schlong in the coin slot? “Hey, why’s the genie looking the other way?”