Some rejected titles were, “It’s A Not-So-Wonderful Elbow, Andrew Bailey,” “Old Man Potter Gets The Last Laugh” and “Won’t You Come Home, Andrew Bailey? Won’t You Come Home?” but when presented with a Party of Five reference, I turn to mush. If you can wash Po5 out of your hair, you’re a better man than me. Andrew Bailey is heading off to see Dr. Freeze, and there’s the reason why Craig Breslow was closing on Monday. Here I thought he won a game of “Whoever’s Name Sounds Most Like A Character From Family Matters Is The Closer.” I’d grab Breslow in all leagues. If you can, I’d grab Wuertz too. That’s what she said! Anyway, here’s what else I saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:
Psyche! Before I get into the roundup, fantasy basketball leagues are signing up over at our sister (brother?) site. Head over there if that’s your thing. Anyway II, here’s the roundup:
Trevor Cahill – 8 IP, 2 ER, 7 baserunners, 7 Ks and his 17th win to go along with a 2.81 ERA on the year. I will now fall on my sword.
Joe Mauer – MRI showed he has tissue inflammation. That’s what my jeans had in the 8th grade. Sometimes they had socks inflammation. Wait, what? So Mauer’s not coming back for at least 5 days. Then he’s not going to play every day the week before the playoffs. I’d look elsewhere.
Joey Votto – Member when I said Dusty would start sitting Votto? Well, Votto came down with a mysterious sinus infection and missed yesterday’s game. At least it’s not a concussion, Canadians can’t handle those.
Jair Jurrjens – Has a tear in his right knee, but he might be able to make his next start. That’s nice, but Jar-Jar’s not a great start anyway.
Gaby Sanchez – 3-for-4, 3 RBIs with his 19th homer. Behind the scenes at Razzball HQ, October Grey has started to compile the recap of all the top 20 lists that he’ll post when the season ends. I mention this because Gaby’s ending up much higher than I would’ve thought. Listen (or read, which is probably easier), Gaby hasn’t been terrible, but, really, he’s just been a prime-of-his-career Lyle Overbay. It’s a’ight. Emphasis on ight.
Hanley Ramirez – Returned and went 1-for-4. In a pregame press conference, he said, “I’m sick of people saying I don’t want to play. Speaking of which, how many friggin’ games are left?”
Mike Pelfrey – 7 IP, 1 ER, 5 baserunners, 4 Ks. Solid game from Pelfrey but he gets the Phils next at Citizens Flank. As they say in Italy, thatta no good.
Mike Aviles – 3-for-6, 3 RBIs. Where have I heard his name before? Oh, I know! I wrote it yesterday.
Billy Butler – 3-for-4 and, because he loves to be overrated, he’s hitting near .400 this month. He loves it almost as much as he loves going to 2nd base on himself.
Jarrod Dyson – 3-for-4, 3 Runs and his 3rd steal in a week. SAGNOF!
Eric Young Jr. – Speaking of SAGNOF, Young is out for the D-Backs series with a sore shin. Noooooooooo, which in a cave would sound even more ominous.
Justin Upton – There’s talk he’ll be shutdown. I say do it and stop giving his fantasy owners hope, but these aren’t decisions where I’m usually included.
Kelly Johnson – 1-for-4, 2 RBIs and his 23rd homer. Sure, he didn’t stay as crazy hot as he was in April, but what other site was even talking about this guy in January?
Paul Maholm – 7 IP, 2 ER, 7 baserunners, 4 Ks. He gets the Astros next, a team he has a 1.99 ERA against in 22 2/3 IP this year. He’ll probably be in Thursday’s borderline starters post with some serious caveats.
Travis Snider – Hit his 10th homer yesterday. Would it surprise anyone if I said I’m going to be excited about Snider again next year? It shouldn’t. Especially not now.
Hunter Pence – Left yesterday’s game with hip discomfort, or as they call them in old age homes a “What else is new.”
Chris Johnson – 3-for-4 with his 2nd homer in 3 games. He’s also batting near-.400 in the last week. Yup.
Tyler Clippard – Recorded his 10th win, i.e. except in Teixeira, that’s the same amount of wins as Dan Haren. God, wins are stupid.
Freddie Freeman – Hit his first major league homer yesterday. He’s not worth going near in redraft leagues, but I’m still excited about him for next year and in keepers.
Clayton Richard – 9 IP, 0 ER, 10 baserunners, 6 Ks. Sonavabench! He had a 4.85 road ERA going into yesterday’s game. He wasn’t supposed to pitch a complete game shutout. Dodgers can’t even suck at the right times.
Scott Baker – 5 IP, 1 ER, 5 baserunners, 7 Ks. Gets the Royals next, which seems like a good matchup on paper. Too bad they’re not playing Strat-O-Matic. Half of me wants to believe Baker wants to pitch well and beat the Royals so he secures his spot in the playoff rotation. The top half of me thinks the Twins will be snoozing through the next week of games.
Jonathan Papelbon – 1 IP, 4 ER. Kazaam!
Adam Jones – 3-for-4, 2 Runs. Hasn’t been a huge breakout season like some of us were expecting (me!), but he is hitting near-.400 in the month of September.
Edinson Volquez – 8 IP, 1 ER, 7 baserunners, 6 Ks. In September, his ERA has been below 2. Guess who has two thumbs and is going to be on every ‘perts sleeper list of starters next year. This guy!
Ervin Santana – 9 IP, 0 ER, 6 baserunners, 8 Ks. Somebody knew it was H2H playoff time.
Jake Westbrook – 4 IP, 5 ER vs. the Pirates. Madonna mia, the Cards are tanking. Westbrook gets the Cubs and Rockies in his last two starts. I wouldn’t trust him in most leagues unless you need to gamble on not being whammied.
Felipe Lopez – The Cards dropped him after he arrived late for Monday’s game. As opposed to fellow MI Brendan Ryan who hustled to the ballpark 4 hours before the game for extra batting practice and to make Albert his plantain-flavored protein shake.
Josh Hamilton – Hamilton says he hopes to return next week (yeah, sure) even after the Rangers found two fractured ribs yesterday. Okay, a few things come to mind. Don’t you think right after Hamilton says he feels sore they’d send him for tests and find something like fractured ribs? It’s not like this is the 1890’s and they’re using a cauterizing iron. Is his doctor, Dr. Nick Riviera? Or are there some arcane MLBPA rules that restricts doctors to 5 pokes a day? And they didn’t find the fractured ribs until the 15th day of poking?