What’s that I see creeping around the corner? The stalker you’ve filed a restraining order against? Nah, our resident Creeper of the Week writer JFOH is fine; we’ve finally taught him what ‘personal bubble space’ and ‘bad touch’ is so he’s allowed to spend time with the other writers. Granted, he DOES have to wear oven mitts so he doesn’t get overly stimulated when we high five but he gets to enjoy Razzball potlucks again without the police getting involved. Baby steps! Of course, what’s creeping is the baseball season as this Sunday is the start of six months of that game we love so much…Daily Fantasy Sports! I heard you just say ‘what, huh’? If you don’t know what DFS is, just click on that link to get an idea of what we’re talking about here and then come back. Don’t worry, we’ll be waiting…ok, we’re still waiting…alright, some of us just didn’t take the speed reading class seriously, I guess. Heck, I even learned how to do it out loud. Sounded like the Micro Machines guy. Anyways, now that you’re intrigued by the concept, we’re gonna talk about what to do once you’ve signed up for DraftKings. Ah ‘but how do I sign up for DraftKings while supporting Razzball at the same time?’ is your question. I could read it on your face and let me tell you, ‘sharpie’ isn’t a good look on you. By clicking on the DraftKings link I’ve now given you thrice, you are given a signup referral from us and a free $3 ticket to any contest you choose. In fact, you COULD choose a $100,000 Moonshot tourney opening day with that $3 ticket or better yet, a free $15,000 tourney to kick off the season care of signing up through us. Or just keep it simple and join a multiplier or a head to head……if you don’t know what these words mean feel free to take a look at a review post of the league types to get yourself acquainted. Now that we’re past these link hurdles, though, let’s get down to da biz. Here’s some strategy to attack your DK games with for the 2015 Fantasy Baseball season…Please, blog, may I have some more?
Leave it to the man living in Oregon, born and raised in Washington to take you to Electric Ladyland in the title. PNW represent *tries showing PNW with flashy gang sign…fails…breaks all fingers*. Fine, I’ll just throw up the West Coast symbol a la 2Pac and be fine with it. Grey originally pinged me with the idea of heading up a league for the NFBC back in February. When I said yes, I assumed we were talking ‘Norwegian Female Bikini Challenge’ and graciously accepted. I mean they’re right next to Sweden; what could possibly go wrong? Well, ALOT could go wrong, let me tell you. Thankfully, I had Rudy‘s recap of his 2013 team and the wherewithal and the guile to forge my own path for my own team. For those interested in only RCL style of play…well, first off that’s the link to sign up for one and second of all, make an about face. This ain’t it. No trades and no FA pickups in season. Nope, you play against 15 other teams in 5×5 roto set up and draft 50 players a team. That’s 750 players. There’s only 30 teams and they only roster 25 players at the major league level at a time. So basically, we’re drafting the entire MLB in one fell swoop. That’s special. And hard. And especially hard. But let’s not talk about bedroom things just yet. Instead, let’s review my NFBC team for the 2015 Fantasy Baseball season…Please, blog, may I have some more?
Ah, the middle infield. Can you think of any other fantasy position where people praise mediocrity more than here? I owned Daniel Murphy in 2014 and it was great! Kudos to you, my friend…kudos. Pardon me if my pants don’t get tight about someone who has a 10/15 season. That’s just not for me because you’re drafting to not get hurt rather than drafting to succeed. What happened to you as a child to choose such a sheltered path? I worry about people like this. They’re usually the ones that snap and go postal at the mall. I mean, I’d lose it too if I thought the only sexual position was quiet missionary in the dark. But I guess that’s the only kind if you’re getting any living in your parent’s basement…wow, where’d you all go? Well, now I at least know who my audience is/was. But for the remainder of you that stuck around, let’s talk about the scary upside and downside of our player of this post, Nick Franklin, and why he could be a good get for the 2015 Fantasy Baseball season…Please, blog, may I have some more?
Hey y’all, let me know if you’ve heard this one before. Brett Lawrie is a fantasy sleeper for the YYYY Fantasy Baseball Season! In fact, this isn’t even a new post. I just went back from all the posts between 2012 and 2014 and did a mash-up of them. It was hard to get them all the same font so be thankful this doesn’t read like a ransom note! Speaking of notes, it feels like every spot you’ve taken Lawrie the last few years has left you with an I.O.U. almost immediately after leaving the draft table, doesn’t it? That kind of pain is hard to get over, especially in deeper leagues where your team can falter just on a few bad picks or rise quickly on a few good ones. So what makes drafting Lawrie in the year of the sheep make me feel like the GOAT you ask? Well read on. Here’s my take on Brett for you late round misfit seekers for 2015 Fantasy Baseball…Please, blog, may I have some more?
So if you’re keeping up with the flow of all things DraftKings around here, you’re well aware that I touched briefly on league types in our intro post for this years MLB kickoff. Also, if you’re keeping up with said things, you wouldn’t have to click that hyperlink highlighting DK because that’s the portal that says ‘Hey, I wanna play DraftKings and get a free $3 ticket cuz Razzball sent me’. I mean, you’ve already done that, right? Right?!? Well, if not there’s your second chance to do so. Much like life, these chances are fleeting. Be sure to take advantage before the start of the season so you can get in on the big Moonshot tourney to kick off your season. Moonshot tourney? Ugh, that’s right, I’m getting ahead of myself. You see, the scary cool thing about DraftKings is that it’s very much like the Gummi Bears from Hedwig and the Angry Inch. Minus the laying naked next to the Berlin Wall and finding yourself a Sugar Daddy part. Nope, no links, you’re just gonna have to figure what I mean out all by your google lonesome. Just saying that the choices are seemingly infinite and also can be overwhelming so with that, lets discuss what DK can offer you for 2015 Fantasy Baseball and what leagues suit you best…Please, blog, may I have some more?
So yes, this is an overrated post but since I’m not Grey and Grey ain’t me, you don’t see the word ‘Schmohawk’ in the title. If I had, it would’ve been seen as a weak and watered down version of a Schmohawk piece. Mayhap you would’ve gone so far as to say it was a ‘Faux hawk’ which is really the worst thing ever. A faux hawk says to me you want to look like an edgy bad boy but you also listen to Nick Jonas which is just another way of saying ‘My parents are well off and I spend a lot of time at the mall complaining about them’. First off, not getting the car for the weekend because you got a ‘C’ in Math isn’t ‘abusive’ and secondly, that kid who dumped his orange julius on you after walking out of Hot Topic? Yeah, that would’ve been me from 20 years ago. Go full hawk or no hawk, you poser! But enough about my goth teen years, we’re here to talk about Doug Fister and so we shall. Let’s see what kind of players put up similar 2014 lines who are going cheaper than Doug for 2015 Fantasy Baseball Drafts…Please, blog, may I have some more?
As the adage goes, ‘nobody wants you when you’re old’. Unless you’re a female and Grey Albright is nearby. Yo Sky, check out this smoking hot chick! *Clicks google image link*. Um, Grey? Yeah? That’s Raquel Welch. I know, right? Older the berry, the sweeter the juice, you know what I’m sayin’? *hi-pitched cackling ensues*. I get it, though, in this day and age where steroids can’t even be used to quell skin rash irritations without a 50 game suspension. We get to see athletes in their truest form: they’re human, they get tired, they get hurt, they age and their prime doesn’t last 10+ years. But as a fantasy player? EFF THAT NOISE. Bring back the greenies, baby! But I digress, the key is, ageism is a real thing at the draft table, especially for a late bloomer and in steps Steve Pearce. So what has my fantasy loins in a lather like Ann-Margaret just did a cat-walk in lady’s lingerie for Grey? Well, read on. Here’s why I think Pearce is a good get for deep leagues this year for 2015 Fantasy Baseball…Please, blog, may I have some more?
The world that you live in is now over. Oh God, what have we done?!? I knew we should’ve recycled more! Hrm, maybe that was too dramatic of an intro for the regular reader. But I do agree, you should recycle more. Lots of states give you 5 cents back on those beer bottles, it’s totally worth it. Except those Bud bottles; yes, I’m blatantly judging you. But more to the point, the fantasy sports industry is a’changin’ and Razzball has been in on this shift in landscape since 2013 when JB first offered people a million crappy sandwiches. Believe me, the prizes have improved since then, I swear! For real, though, we’ve been talking Daily Fantasy Sports for the last couple of years and if you haven’t joined the fray, I’m gonna give you as many reasons why to below. But not just any DFS site, of course. That’s like saying you potty trained your kid and now your bathroom looks like Jackson Pollock was only given yellow to paint with. Nah, we gonna hone in that target by sending you to DraftKings. If you’ve never played, that link is where you start. By signing up through us for DK, you get a free ticket into what’s called a Moonshot. That’s a tourney. Don’t worry if you’re already getting lost, we’ll get you ready to go before the season starts so stick with us. This tourney has a $100K prize pool and top prize is $10K. Just think how much leeway with your wife and your obsession over fantasy that could buy. But of course, we’re getting a bit ahead of ourselves. You wanna hear a bit more about this game before you dive in and dive in we shall. So here’s how your bankroll gonna get swole by playing Daily Fantasy on DraftKings for 2015 Fantasy Baseball…Please, blog, may I have some more?
Let the hard sell begin. I feel like I’m that dealer with the bad comb over in the polyester suit at the used car lot trying to sell a jalopy. Minus the car analogy, I feel like I’m describing Woody Harrelson in Kingpin. You know the film and if you don’t, it’s streaming on Netflix right now. And by right now, I mean when I wrote this. If this post isn’t live before they’ve pulled it, mea culpa for getting you excited about it and also, mea culpa for getting you excited about it in general…it’s a Farrelly brothers movie and it’s not one of their best and ‘best + Farrelly bros’ google search should tell you all you need to know about that phrasing. BTW, this post isn’t sponsored by Netflix…but it should be! Seriously, Razz movie reviews. When does this happen? We can stick with the sports section. We’ll cover every 30 for 30! But I digress even further than I normally would. Given how we all feel about Travis Snider at this point in his career, you’d think he was Roy Munson on the baseball field, metal hook for a hand and all. It’s true, he never lived up to our dreams and probably won’t still. But in a deep league setting, that ain’t our concern. So with that in mind, let’s take a look at Snider and how he can help you with your nasty 7-10 split for the 2015 Fantasy Baseball season…Please, blog, may I have some more?
Not everything has to be a series from me. Do I have to sell a gimmick to get you to latch on to what I’m reading? Sure, I brought you the Under The Greydar series and yeah, I brought you Deep League Thoughts. And yeah, I started a bit of a series called Draft Day Arbitrage which we’re still working on but sometimes a particular topic just grabs me and I gotta get it out there to the masses without precedences. You see, as I started looking into the draft season that is now upon us I started liking Carlos Santana more and more despite him losing catcher eligibility in most leagues outside of Yahoo. Obviously the public isn’t lukewarm on him as he’s still a top 75 player overall on most draft boards but in light of recent findings on him, I am beginning to wonder if, much like Alison Brie, he is underrated for his assets because they haven’t been fully exposed on the world. Well, lets loosen up that bra strap and ummm…yeah, there’s no analogy here. Roll the credits! Here’s Carlos and how his move to first actually has some goodness tied to it for 2015 Fantasy Baseball…Please, blog, may I have some more?