Welcome back, Pitcher Profile nation!  I am glad to be back home after a fantastic trip to DC where I got to see my Brewers go 1-1 on the 3rd and 4th and score a handful of runs.  Given it was against Ross Detwiler and Taylor Jordan (along with help from some Drew Storen trouble) – but it was nice to see some good O in person.

Then the Brewers go back home to face the Mess, and while having some decent offense early in the series, we got absolutely stymied by Jeremy Hefner yesterday afternoon.  I didn’t watch too much of the game, I was busy gawking at my boyfriend Corey Kluber, so I had yet to see much of how Hefner looked.  Then I got a tweet from Sky bringing me in on a Tehol question asking: “Am I supposed to know who this Heffer dude is on the Mets?”   My response: “Only watched an inning today, stuff looked better than earlier this year but not overwhelming, Brewers K lots.”  So what better way to elaborate on 160 characters than up it to close to 2,000 words?  Pitcher profile!  Here’s how he looked:

Please, blog, may I have some more?

So, I’m biased.  If you’ve been reading me for a while you know I’m a Brewers homer, but that doesn’t make me a sucker in fantasy.  I dumped Yovani Gallardo years ago, rode the Mike Fiers train and exited quickly, and own Carlos Gomez everywhere I could.  Then again, I had John Axford last year in a lot of leagues.  Yikes!

The point I’m trying to get at here, is I think knowing a lot about a particular team can give you great insight, especially in daily leagues like our friends over at DraftKings.  There will be days I choose no Brewers, and days like Friday in our RAZZBALL EXCLUSIVE CAN YOU BEAT RUDY GAMBLE contest where I go homer heavy.  When Bernie Brewer slides down the yellow slide, I’m going to be pretending I see the green face of Benjamin Franklin and not the Brewers logo on the waving flag!

Please, blog, may I have some more?

I am back with another Pitcher Profile Razzball Nation!  I was out of town last week and unable to work on multiple screens slash was sipping daiquiris on vacation.  True story.  Ask Sky.  Then ask him what drink we came up with while my daiquiri was half melted and looked like a prop from Hostel.

As I try to do every week, I like picking a guy who pitched on Sunday to keep things topical.  I also like to do profiles on pitchers that have been requested.  And Zack Wheeler pitched on Sunday!  The stars have aligned to give everyone an introspective look and how he… well… looked.

Please, blog, may I have some more?

So I’m out of town this week, then all the sudden while I have left my upper lip unshaven and drinking a daiquiri (the latter a true story), I get thrust into this twitter chain (@jbgilpin) about a keeper question from Nick the podcast host. What it devolved into was a battle for just how bad R.A. Dickey projects in a keeper league from this point forward. My answer – “turrible!”

But what do I really get out of it if I’m wrong or right? No one will remember that chain when Dickey is cut by the Blue Jays in 2015 and can’t keep his ERA under 4.80. It’d be like saying in 1999, “that Robert Downey Jr. is going to be a Hollywood G in 10 years just you wait.” 10 years pass and people are like, “meh, whatevs.” Or, “‘derp’, whatever brah I coulda told you that!”

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Breaking news! The MLB season is doubling the season to 324 games.  There will now be 8 bases.  In the new Star Wars movies the character will be renamed Han Duet.

So doubling things doesn’t always work, but it does for some things – like a double cheeseburger becomes a quadruple and getting to second base would be, well, that much better in high school.  And it also works for our RAZZBALL EXCLUSIVE CAN YOU BEAT RUDY GAMBLE contest hosted by our friends at DraftKings returning back to Friday night.  This week the entry is $10, but the prize pool so much more cheddar-y.  The top spot gets entry into the biggest DraftKings contest we’ve won tickets into to date – their huge $500,000 Midsummer Classic where the top spot nabs $125 large.  Not only that, but 600 spots will get paid!  For our contest, the entries are limited to 30 total (up to two per person) and spots 2-10 will double-up to $20.  That’s enough to sing about having in your pocket.  Good luck this week!

Please, blog, may I have some more?

K:BB.  Mmmm can’t think of a sexier group of three letters.  Double D’s are nice but that’s only two letters.  JB is only two letters.  So if you have to go to three letters, I’ll take K:BB.

A guy I’ve liked for a while now, Corey Kluber came into yesterday’s matchup against the Nationals with a sparkling 57:12 K:BB ratio so far this season.  Don’t believe me that he’s been my man crush the past month?  Look at phone records to Sky or my friend Peter.  Just ask the NSA, they’ve got them saved somewhere…  Kluber has been around a while, pitching in the Minors since 2006 with consistent strikeout numbers, but other than that never has put it completely together. Now 27 years old, Kluber is suddenly owning MLB offenses.

As soon as I saw Kluber’s numbers last month before he was the talk of the town, I went and looked at his pitch selection.  He’s completely changed his arsenal from a slider as his main breaking offering into tossing a cutter as his second pitch.  Does that remind you of any other Cleveland Indian who had late(r) career success?  Reminds me of Cliff Lee!  Ok so I’m not saying Kluber is the next Cliff Lee, they’re very different pitchers, but it is interesting.

Please, blog, may I have some more?

It’s here!  This Friday, our friends at DraftKings are throwing their huge $100,000 Punch Out with the top winner nabbing $20K.  If you haven’t been following our DraftKings posts and you’re new, DraftKings is an industry leading daily fantasy sports site, and they hold our very own RAZZBALL EXCLUSIVE CAN YOU BEAT RUDY GAMBLE contests where the top winner gets a ticket for that shot at 20K. You can only get in by clicking that link – it’s not open to the public!  Unlike Grey’s Mustache Rides (LLC).

This week is a special feature on THURSDAY instead of Friday to not conflict with the $100K Punch Out.  But even better, this time the top TWO spots get tickets into the Punch Out.  And it doesn’t stop there.  Spots 3-10 double up to $10.00 and 11-20 break even and get $5.00, almost DOUBLING the normal prize pool.  This is the week to play Razzball Nation!  The contest is capped at 50 entrants, and with the increase in payouts, I expect it to fill fast so sign up soon!  If you read only bold all caps words, that should be enough to spark your interest, or so our marketing crack team tells me…

Please, blog, may I have some more?

So while helping Scott with his prospect and two-start pitcher questions over the weekend, I got a lot of questions for the best spot starter on Sunday.  I told everyone Hector Santiago followed closely by the debut of Jose Alvarez.  Score one for me!  I decided to write my pitcher profile on one of those guys, and since Alvarez only came up for one start (he’s already back in AAA), I went with Santiago.  Quick tangent – how unfair is that Tigers rotation?  Justin VerlanderAnibal SanchezMax ScherzerDoug FisterRick Porcello (who everyone needs to pick up – Ks are for real, looks like it’s all together now and he’s only 24), then Drew Smyly who should become a starter one day soon, and now Alvarez.  Yikes.

Anyway, Santiago has been yo-yoed in and out of the rotation, and after Jake Peavy fell to injury yet again, Santiago should remain in the starting staff for at least the next month if not longer.  He’s been better as a starter than out of the bullpen this year, and has over a K per 9 this season.  There’s a lot of things to like with Santiago, so I broke down his start yesterday afternoon against the Athletics to monitor his repertoire and what to expect while he’s in the White Sox rotation.

Please, blog, may I have some more?

There’s no way you haven’t heard, but the MLB is reportedly going to suspend, like, a team’s worth of players.  Maybe the potential suspendees should form their own team and own baseball league.  Maybe wear suspenders?  Womp, womp – that’s like a dad joke.  I heard Jose Canseco is still trying to play.  He’d fit in perfectly!

So you’ve got Ry-Ry Steroids-Steroids and steals king Everth Cabrera and have either the fantasy blues or fantasy roid rage.  Why not start afresh and draft a daily league team and win back that money your juicing up players are going to lose you in your fantasy league? Our friends at DraftKings continue to provide us with an awesome RAZZBALL EXCLUSIVE Can You Beat Rudy Gamble Contest where the top winner gets a ticket into their huge $100,000 Punch Out which runs next Friday with the top winner getting $20,000!  Remember you have to click on that link above, or this one here, or the same very one here to get in.  It’s secret to everyone else!  Then spots 2-10 double up to $10.00 on a measly $5.00 entry.

Please, blog, may I have some more?

You ask and you shall receive! I had numerous requests for a Jeff Samardzija Pitcher Profile, and since I’d only seen the fire-baller throw maybe once or twice against my Brewers, I thought it would be a great idea to break him down for Razzball Nation.

I know the big righty features a huge fastball that flirts with the upper 90’s, but off the top of my head I couldn’t remember any specific secondary pitches so I was excited to really analyze one of his starts. Remember when he was the top WR target for Brady Quinn? Seems like ages ago! Remember when he was an erratic fixture in that Cubs bullpen along with Carlos Marmol? I bet some of those innings made even Steve Bartman cringe. But it’s much further down the road with Samardzija a fixture in that rotation (along with your fantasy squad’s staff) and a piece of the Cubs’ rebuilding future. Let’s go through how he hurled against the Diamondbacks on Saturday:

Please, blog, may I have some more?