First things first– does Matthew Berry always have to refer to himself as: ‘Matthew Berry – The Talented Mr. Roto’? What is the deal here? Did he marry a chick with the last name ‘The Talented Mr. Roto’ of which he and said wife agreed to combine their last names via the hyphen? Please, blog, may I have some more?

Please, blog, may I have some more?

So, for today’s post I was going to talk about how women can biologically prevent pregnancy, but only in cases of legitimate rape. However, much to my chagrin, this guy beat me to it. I mean, the nerve! Right before I’m about to talk about it… then yoink. Please, blog, may I have some more?

Please, blog, may I have some more?

Last week, we got together for a Sunday brunch and enjoyed ourselves some Spam and eggs. What’s it made out of? Who cares! Fried to a crisp with an egg on top, maybe some rice or sourdough bread on the side, yes sir… it’s like a Hawaiian beach inside of your mouth. Please, blog, may I have some more?

Please, blog, may I have some more?

For those of you who don’t know what FYPD stands for, I give you, freely, in the title of this post, the most common usage of that special acronym. While the phrase itself is used often, be wary for the potential of seizures and an impending brain aneurism when attempting to use it in everyday conversation. Please, blog, may I have some more?

Please, blog, may I have some more?

When I think of a creeper, two images flow into my mind— Bachmann-eyezed! and the song ‘Creep’. This combo punch is usually enough to haunt my entire day as I hum Radiohead and cry fearful tears, afraid that I’ll be accused of being part of the Muslim Brotherhood and then be stared at profusely by those hypnotizing conservative eyes. Please, blog, may I have some more?

Please, blog, may I have some more?

I have a small leather-bound notepad on me at all times, always there for the moments of divine inspiration to be written, recorded, and later used as material for my posts here at Razzball. I can never quite remember when or why I wrote each tidbit, though I’m pretty sure about the steps I followed to get ink on the paper. Please, blog, may I have some more?

Please, blog, may I have some more?