Welcome to another season of Razz-matazz Fantasy Baseball. For those of you wondering, that actually was Grey’s second choice for naming this site, but as you can see, Razz-ball won out, much to the chagrin of jazz fingers around the world. And just one ball. No multiple balls I guess. Kinda like the opposite of how Hilton didn’t want just one tree. Double that sh*t! But here we are with another year of staff picks. So what’s the goal with this? Hashtag content, baby. (That’s the technical term.) There’s another goal though, one less self-fulfilling, unlike your mother. Despite the modern advancement of technology and science, we still have no way to have every writer provide their extended (or in Tehol’s case, I always hope abbreviated) take on every single player in the MLB. We try though! And so we have this quick-and-easy (I regret burning my “yo momma” joke now…) presentation that provides you, the Razzmatazzball community a viewer-friendly and succinct breakdown of how we feel about the upcoming season. Last season’s can be found here for posterity! So without further ado, here are our Official 2017 Razzball Picks, and be sure to share your picks in the comment section!

Please, blog, may I have some more?

A Deep Impact series post this early in the preseason? Where I’m from, they call that Immediate Impact. HURRRR. Though… it’s hard to top my meow usage above, even with such a strong opener. Except maybe for the content of this post? Question mark, because I’m not sure what format you play in. Hint: If your league has a constitution longer than a college thesis on the European textile industry and its effect on the French bourgeoisie, well then, you’re probably in the right place. We’re here to take a short ‘n sweet look at some uncommon scoring categories that dynasty/deep leagues might use commonly. The fantasy laymen might ask why we would create such devilish inventions… and that’d be fine, because we seriously have no clue. Because it’s fun? Question mark, because it’s only fun if you know how to win with these cats. And it fits the lede’s theme. And that’s what I’m here to help you with. Theming? No. I mean, sorta. But yeah. About those cats…

Note: Football may be over, but we still have a great podcast series going into the offseason, along with NFL Draft content coming out soon. Join us?

Please, blog, may I have some more?

That’s right folks, I bring to you a very special “ID4 edition” podcast, and we call it “ID4” because it’s not that common of a phrase, isn’t really used by many people and, you know, movies, so for something this special, we want to give it a sort of… unique nomenclature. Therefore, I have. BOOM. So yeah, JB is somewhere vacationing (and probably getting married again) without a computer mic, so here I am, bringing you the much heralded Grey (and myself) in discussion about all the important and current fantasy baseball issues. So of course we open the show talking about my relationship woes, almost like a callback to the old Nick the Podcast Host days. But after that, we actually do get to “stuff”. Important stuff. As Donald Trump would say, the best stuff. Jose Berrios and Jeimer Candelario, a potential call-up and a recent call-up, respectively, are touched upon. We went over Joey Votto’s up-and-down season, Edwin Diaz and his closer potential, Aaron Nola’s recent struggles, and how the return of Dee Gordon could shake up the Marlins infield a bit. And seeing as how we’re right around the mid-year point, Grey throws out his first-half most valuable pitcher and hitter thus far, and we go over the MLB playoff picture and who we expect to see in the World Series. We would have talked about Game of Thrones and it’s season finale, but I’m pretty sure we burned up all of our time talking about putting me on Tinder. First world problems, fo sure…

Please, blog, may I have some more?

And when I say special, I mean special. That is, if special meant filling-in for J.B. and then talking about how Grey knows Buzzy (vicariously I think?) from Jeopardy. Be thankful you guys have Gilpin to do this, otherwise it’d just be a 25-part series of Grey’s anecdotes with a live laugh-track called Jay (that’s me!). But we do get around to talking about fantasy baseball… Yu Darvish’s debut was talked about in there somewhere, along with some meta-trade thoughts now that we’re reaching midseason. Jacob deGrom, Carlos Gomez, and CC Sabathia are touched on for a bit, along with some added tidbits about how Carlso Carrasco is a huge buy-now guy. You’d have to figure fantasy teams also have some primo sales going on during this holiday period, so maybe send a message over to your fantasy adversary and see what happens? The question mark is there because I wanted the statement to not be taken as an order, but more a suggestion. Just like how you should listen to this pod…? At the end of the show, we talk about the last episode of Game of Thrones (there is a spoiler alert during the show for all of you who haven’t seen it yet) for a bit and then we’ve made sure to include the best ending of a podcast that the world has ever seen. RESPEK.

Please, blog, may I have some more?

We (the royal “we”) had a week off from this series, mostly because of the content overload last weekend. What a time to be alive! It’s no secret that we’ve had a great influx of content this season, some have been welcomed with open arms, and some haven’t. The circle of writing, if you will. But because there’s so much content, our goal with this series is to highlight, in an almost zen-like TL;DR summary, what exactly happened this past week in Razzball. You may ask yourself why it’s “in Razzball” and not “on Razzball” and the answer to that question is, would you rather want to be on something or in something? Don’t answer that actually, pretty sure that’s how we lost Tehol…

Follow me after the jump to take a look back at what was week one AND a look forward on all things Razzball, including some player suggestions for next week, straight from Razzball’s Streamonator, Hitter-Tron, and DFSBot!

Please, blog, may I have some more?

One week down, so many more to go. I could look up the actual number of weeks left, but the payoff-to-effort ratio was too damn high. Which is why I’m currently single as well. Yeah, that’s exactly why. Plus, based on the old adage that time flies when you’re having fun, with my Padres starting 0-3, scoring zero runs and allowing 25, I’d say the season has bout 897 weeks left in it. Sure, that’s a rough estimate, but based on my own mathematical skills and experiencing the atrocities to the soul and mind by being a San Diego sports fan, 897 seems pretty accurate. But enough about my masochistic ways, we’re here to breakdown the wonderful world of Razz and highlight what exactly went down this week…

Follow me after the jump to take a look back at what was week one AND a look forward on all things Razzball, including some player suggestions for next week, straight from Razzball’s Streamonator, Hitter-Tron, and DFSBot!

Please, blog, may I have some more?

Ah yes, so we meet again… wait, did we actually formally meet? I mean, technically, we’re meeting again, this is the third year we’ve done this… but did we really meet? Of course I’m an existential crisis waiting to happen, but that’s only because clinical depression requires so much work. I mean, I’d rather jog than emo, ya know? But back to where we started, this is your (and our I suppose) official 2016 Razzball picks. Or selections. Or whatever nomenclature you prefer. I guess whatever it takes for me not to force you to read word “nomenclature” over and over again. We do this because, frankly, we just can’t write about everyone and everything that we love or hate. I mean, we’re talking about 853 players here (source). And so this is the quick and easy “viewer-friendly” version that allows you to quickly see our likes/dislikes/predictions for all of you to promptly point and giggle at. And for added humor, here are last season’s picks, with the bonus value of us again being able to pick on Rudy for choosing Kris Bryant as his sleeper. I’m assuming he thought Bryant was just sleepy and needed a nap, but you might want to ask him about it. Regardless, here are your (and our!) Official 2016 Razzball Picks!

Ever wanted to have a Razzball Podcast devoted to Game of Thrones? No? Oh. Never mind then. But for those of you with an open mind, we have just that for you. Check out our very first episode here!

Please, blog, may I have some more?

Something dawned on me the other day while partaking in the annual CBS Expert Auction League run by Scott White (which I’ll be recapping later in the week), and it’s this: Evan Longoria is readily available for the taking this year. This was also confirmed by the fact that I’ve netted him in several RCLs (you can still join a league here!) pretty late as well, and really, the only reason that I ran into him at all is because I was looking for Chase Headley for my eventual bottom-feeding phase of the draft. How Longoria has ruined everything that I know and love! I should admit, Fantasy Baseball has probably moved behind Fantasy Football when it comes to my priorities, and seeing as there is only so much real estate in my head, it could also be fair to say that I haven’t kept myself up to speed with a lot of the everyday minutiae of Major League Baseball. So in the drafts where I was able to net Longoria pretty late, each time I would glance at his stat page and try to figure out what was so wrong with him before selecting him. And, spoiler-alert! I couldn’t really find anything glaring. No injury, no erosion of skills, etc. Obviously, there isn’t much that can glare back at you in a window of a minute-and-a-half (in this case, with several drafts, multiple minute-and-a-halves, which, coincidentally, is how I also describe my love-making) from a player page, so I wanted to take this journey of discovery and figure out exactly why Evan Longoria has fallen out of favor, and quite possibly find some kind of redeeming quality that confirms my value-pick will actually bring some sort of “value”. Or I’ll just find out that I totally effed all of my teams by drafting a dud. What an adventure! (In other words, my Alka Seltzer is on standby…)

Please, blog, may I have some more?

GOTrazzRCLdraftComing

Actually, a few have already happened (and we’ll talk about them a bit after the jump), but, just like the title alludes to, the table is set, the forks and spoons are in their right place, and hopefully there’s food ready and on the way. In terms of the RCL universe (since I’m hungry and if there are any more food metaphors, I’ll eventually end up eating my monitor), the “league” has taken shape and drafts are about to begin. (But that doesn’t mean you still can’t create and join your choice of RCLs!) And, I want to touch on this: when I say “league”, I mean league, not leagues. Because ef pluralization… I mean, what has it ever done for me? Regardless, you have to remember, this is one complete universal league. The Milky Way of Fantasy Baseball if you will, including Mike Trout, Saturn, and of course, Uranus. Don’t roll your eyes, you knew it was coming. I only mention this (not Uranus), because as teams fall out of contention later in the season, owners will begin to pay less and less attention to their roster, and soon, you’ll have a 12-team league that feels like a five-team league. This is actually quite common in free-to-play leagues and perfectly normal for our specific formats, so don’t feel scorned, abandoned, or betrayed. These owners aren’t there to entertain you, only themselves. I mean, that’s why I write, it’s only to entertain myself. And my mother. You guys are the crazy ones reading this. And sure, at the dawn of the season, everyone feels excited, bashful hope abound. Puppies and ice cream everywhere! But as the season moves past the All-Star break, you have to remember that you aren’t necessarily playing against your 12-team league. No, you are playing against 1,000+ teams in one universal league. For some neat prizes I might add, and most importantly, ultimate bragging rights. So don’t feel alone. Enjoy the long journey. Participate as best you can. Be one with the fantasy baseballs (and Uranus). I guess that’s my last bit of advice as the RCL Updates will now be handled by Matt Truss. He will be your in-season storyteller, and starting next week, he’ll begin to tell your story. The RCL story. And I can’t wait. (I’m talking about eating…)

Please, blog, may I have some more?

uncle_grey

Welcome to another season of the Razzball Commenter Leagues! After typing that, I now know why we abbreviate that shiitake mushroom into R-C-L. I’m out of breath and burned 89 calories just from typing that out, and that doesn’t even include trying to figure why I always used to spell it ‘commentator’. Apparently, I added more vowels than I needed.  First world writer problems. Anyhow, let’s get to your first question. No, I’m not J-FOH. He’ll be around during the season doing different things to different people. It’ll be legal. I think. And no, I’m not even VinWins, who has been known to chime in from time to time and provide us with a whole bunch of numbers because math is hard. Heck, I’m not even VinLoses, who, interesting story, is actually the cousin of Vin’s mother’s brother’s second cousin’s friend of a friend. TOO INTERESTING. And heck, just to add one more into the mix, I’m not even Matt Truss, who’ll be taking the RCL reins after you and I have had our time together. And what a time it’ll be! (This may not be 100% accurate.) Regardless, I’m Jay, and I’m here to help launch the most important fantasy story out there this season, and that is the story of YOUR 2016 Razzball Commenter League…

Please, blog, may I have some more?
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