It’s official. The 2014 Razzball Grand Champion has been crowned. How close was it, you ask with those child-like eyes. Great question. The final tally on points was 115.93 to 115.85. A difference of… Drum roll please… Well, I’m not good in math, but that’s pretty damn close. If Rudy were as bad in math as me, we’d just round those both to 116 and have a co-champion. Okay, wanna go even further into how close this was? Of course you do. If Cody Allen had been credited with a win on September 22nd, The Dynasty would’ve won. You might say to yourself, “Why pick September 22nd? Seems random to mention that specific date.” Actually, Cody Allen did have a win on September 22nd. It was for a makeup game from August. Only ESPN doesn’t count stats for games that end more than 6 days past their start date. So, I should say if Cody Allen had been given the win in ESPN that he earned, The Dynasty would’ve been the champion. All stats from ESPN are final, and ESPN’s specific note on this is, “Statistics from the completion of that Indians-Royals Aug. 31 game will not count towards head-to-head matchups or league standings, as those fall beyond ESPN’s six-day window for finalized fantasy stats.” For whatever it’s worth, Yahoo did credit Cody Allen with a win for that game, because, ya know, he earned it. So, there ya go. As Jeff Probst would count it down… 162 games, 1008 RCL teams, and one survivor… Colicky Fuddruckers! Please give him good tidyings in the comments or wish him fantasy seppuku for beating everyone else. Grey asked that Colicky comment here with an email so he can be reached for the details to receive his ginormous, badass trophy supplied by Far Out Awards. Oh, and our very own Rudy Gamble not only beat that handsome mustachioed man, Grey Albright, but he came in third out of 1008 teams. I’d only think that were fishy if he were the one devising the Competitive League Index. Hey, wait a minute!

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What is there left to say at this point of the season? Many of the leagues have been won long ago. I know there are a few tight races left, and if you are in one of them, then a tip of the cap to you. By this time next week, we will be crowning a new grand champion and sending out the cool trophy to them as a way of saying thank you for kicking all of our a$&#%. It’s pretty neat to see this all unfold from a behind the scenes perspective. Last year, I finished near the top and paid little attention to anyone else, but this year, I get a ringside seat into the battles for supremacy. This is mostly due in part to me sucking it like quad-A club across the board. But, like I tell myself every year, you have all offseason to beat yourself up and get ready for a fresh start next year. I usually signal January Grey as my time to put down the bottle, get it together, and start loving this game again. In case you top-10 teams have forgotten, this is what you are playing for…

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The end is here, and the needs of the few take precedence over the many. If you’re playing for the championship in your H2H league, then you need this. If you are in the hunt for your roto title, then this is for you. If you’re playing for fifth place, well… then better luck next year. Your title may come down to one stolen base, one home run or a few extra RBI’s to edge out your opponent. A batty call today is gone tomorrow, and a new one comes in and takes the others place. I’m still going to keep the % owned low, but be aware of who has been dropped as other owners become desperate and have to drop a “stud” who has been cold to the free agent pool. Either way I’m throwing my Creepers out there like the Amigos threw the villagers at El Guapo’s gang at the end of the Three Amigos. I like the music for more dramatic effect.

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I’ll be honest, I really wanted to do a title about Rudy. After having a top-7 pitching week and moving into the top-10 overall, I wanted to kiss some a*s to the other man in charge. It was supposed to be “Rudy Comfortable”, a play on Rudy Huxtable, but then Grey told me to talk about you guys and four girl readers. I obliged and started looking at the top-10 and the player rater to see what they have in common. The top-4 teams, 5 total in top 10, all have Mike Trout and 3 of the top 5 have Jose Abreu. The top two teams have both. Jose Altuve, Todd Frazier, Michael Brantley, and Corey Dickerson are scattered throughout the top ten. In the pitching it’s a little all over the place. One trend I found interesting was in the bullpen where Cody Allen is on 4 teams and Wade Davis is on 3. I’m pointing those two out because they were both solid all year and probably owned all year. Allen being a draft day stash for save savy owners and Davis being a K/9 machine that caught our attention back in April. Take note of this next year. Instead of drafting next season’s Jose Veras, grab a great handcuff with a high K-rate and some faith. I know that’s easier said than done, being that very few MR’s repeat from year to year. Unless your name is Tyler Clippard. There are always themes to successful teams, if you got the first or second pick and drafted Trout your chances of winning increase exponentially, share with us in the comments how your team’s did where you got that sexy fish or any other studs that put you over the top. For the Trout owners you deserve a hat from the man himself.

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I’m jumping out of the program this week and making this a mash up creeper post. Juan Uribe and Scott Van Slyke have got my mojo at full attention with their road trips to Colorado and Chicago this week, and I want to combine them into one monster. Now why not just choose one? Good point. I don’t want to choose. With the Dodgers September call-ups, the outfield has got mucky, but one thing I know is Don likes to play Scott when a lefty is on the hill, and the Dodgers face five of them this week. I’m not saying that he will play all five games, but I think he has a good chance to get in the line-up a few of those days and you should have him stashed in daily changes leagues. We cool with that? Good!

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Every week, I am forced to talk about Grey vs. Rudy as they battle for numero uno of numero uno. I watch them like a cyclops with a monocle. Honestly though, I don’t mind, it’s better than watching half the shows on the old tube… it’s really a bad picture without HD. My only problem is, I can’t help but wonder what else I would like to see them compete at. What about an American Ninja Warrior style course or a Double Dare battle with Marc Summers hosting? I think I need to talk to Nick about doing something fun next year for pre-season baseball. But what else can we do? A high stakes poker game like Rounders? A game of drunken Trivial Pursuit? Name that Tune? Talent style Gong Show? Brady Bunch House of Cards? A bring it on dance off? The possibilities are endless. You know what Ralph and Nick the Dick would like to see? No not that sicko…but a hip-hop battle like Ralph and I do on hip-hop Sundays. Rudy vs. Grey trying to best each other with old school cuts, because they are old school? And by old school I mean old. Here, I’ll get you started with some Steady B and KMD!

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The ghost of Mac Dre has been blowing up my dream phone and telling me that Jonathan Schoop is a MI Sleeper for January-Grey. He is reminding me of another MI who had a great finish last season and has been a breakout this year. (It’s Brian Dozier if you’re not following me.) I’m taking a scarcity position schmotato this week as I try to reinforce the dropping of dead wright and the addition of hot bats. You might think it’s blasphemy to drop a David Wright type player to improve your chances, but sometime you gotta sin to win. Don’t worry, fantasy Jesus understands. Hey dummy, what’s with the title? Oh that, I pronounce Schoop’s name Shoop, because I have no idea how it’s pronounced. The only Shoop I could think of is Mark Harmon’s Mr. Shoop character from the 80’s classic Summer School. Hey, I’m a sucker for former UCLA quarterback’s. I’ve probably seen that flick more times than I would like to admit, but it was a cable staple for years on end. Speaking of staples, frequent commenter Nick the Dick is taking over my hip-hop Sunday today with a few select tracks for you. I respect that he threw me some west coast and some new takes with the old school. By making himself rough and rugged, he has shown how he proceeds to his roots. I can’t help my mellow self today, like 1982 me, who was a lot more kick back than the grouch I am today.

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I’m taking my chips and going home from the DFS season. What a ride it’s been making some good calls, some bad calls and sometimes the occasional really confusing link. This will be it for me in the land of milk and money. All $4.75 of my winnings to show for the hours on end I have spent looking at this maddening game called daily fantasy. Fortunately for me I got a break from the guys at DraftKings and they made Andrew Cashner ($6,600) way Way WAY too cheap today and I’m going to bounce on this like a kid in an inflatable castle. Speaking of inflatable things I saw this the other day. That is just all kinds of wrong. Cashner stepped up to his old self in his last outing by going 6, striking out 8 and walking zero…against the Dodgers. Now I get that the Dodgers have been all kinds of hot garbage lately but they still have bats that can hurt you bad. Today he gets a team of WTF in the Diamondbacks and I don’t see Cash letting them small ball him into a blow-up. Play this one with complete faith that I won’t screw you over as I’m out the door. He’s a solid guy at home against a team with nothing to fear. Trust me!

New to DraftKings? Scared of feeling like a small fish in a big pond? Well try out this 10 teamer of Razzball writers and friends to wet your DK whistle. Just remember to sign up through us before you do. It’s how we know you care! If you still feel helpless and lonely, be sure to check the DFSBot for your daily baseball plays.

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What is left to say for the 2014 fantasy baseball year in a virtual world between strangers as we keep inching to the end of the RCL season. I’m just living in a virtual world and I am just a virtual….woh, were did the Madonna lyrics come from? I need to take a nap and get some rest. What’s that Grey? But I made up my mind, I’m keeping my Baez! Okay, this is too weird, and I need to get Madonna out of my head. It must be from watching Reservoir Dogs the other night and that mind burning opening scene (NSFW). Now that we got that out of the way, and hopefully never to return, let’s talk about what you are playing for this year. Below is the Grand Champion Trophy. If you really want one of these, and you’re not the Grand Champ, then you can always order your own here and put whatever you like on it. Mine says “best at not being the best of 2014″. One last thing before I move on is the Fantasy Baseball Team Name contest for the RCLs. Entries must be from the RCL, and the winner gets a free T-Shirt. Place your nominations here so we can create a ballot for everyone to vote.

Baseball Pilsner

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Breath it all in. That’s it. Can you smell it? That’s the smell of the season winding down and the pastrami Reuben I just ate from the Oinkster. Delicious! I’m writing this with a mouthful of expectations [Jay’s Note: That’s what she said…] for the magic of September that happens every year. This past Tuesday I talked about the amazing month Marlon Anderson put up in 2006, and who can forget the statistical anomaly that Hunter Pence put up last year? I would of loved to do some cool September call-ups that are going to start right away and make a difference, but those that can are here, and the others will be part timers. So, in the spirit of September rookie-nookie I have chosen the delightfully smelling Rougned Odor. Speaking of delightfully smelling things, I will be doing a “East Coast vs West Coast End of Summer BBQ Battle Jams” with Ralph today. I’m taking my West and he gets his east. We’ll put up some tracks and encourage others to insert their favorites jams. Our criteria is just being good jams that can play to groups of peeps chillin together.  You may wonder why were doing this and all I can say is because it’s fun and helps us cope with our disappointments. Every good backyard party needs a theme, a fat sack to keep it tight, a DJ on the 1’s and 2’s, a strong drink mixed up in a pitcher, some Latinos, because it’s So Cal, and when five-O breaks it up we can yell this as we scramble. (NOTE: All of these tracks are not safe for work.)

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