The answer is simple – hail no. That’s because everyone and their mother (including his own) will be on Alex Wood at home against the Padres. Wait, Mrs. Wood plays DraftKings? Man, she’s the coolest! I bet she also uses the Stream-o-Nator, Hitter-Tron, DFSBot, and Ombatsman. She’s a diabolical DFS mastermind! Anyways, I predict Wood will be drafted and held tight by at least 60% of owners tonight. There will be no Wood chucking, get it? Okay, that sh*t is weak – I’m done. Let us talk lineups.

New to DraftKings? Scared of feeling like a small fish in a big pond? Well try out this 20 Teamer of Razzball writers and friends to wet your DK whistle. Just remember to sign up through us before you do. It’s how we know you care!

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Those weren’t tears of sadness, bro. I’m a straight hater of the Craptain – the realest you’ll ever know. Every time I take a dump, all that’s heard is, “number two, Derek Jeter, number two.”

The love fest during the ASG was unbearable, and I was screaming for it to end, waterboarding style. That being said, ding dong the break is dead! Thank Zod! I watched an actual network show with human actors in it yesterday … terrible! Then I picked up a book … and threw it at the TV because it was so … terrible! Oh, how I sorely missed drinking beers (OK, still did that), streaming baseball on my deck, and sweating DFS rosters alongside my fellow degenerates (that’s you).

Have no fear, my friends. Our time hath cometh again. It’s my honor to kick-off the second half of MLB DraftKings action here at Razzball, home of Stream-o-Nator, Hitter-Tron, DFSBot, and the Ombatsman. Check those fabulous F’ers out – they were built by science and love of sport.

Now, let’s play ball … again.

New to DraftKings? Scared of feeling like a small fish in a big pond? Well try out this 20 person matchup of Razzball writers and friends to wet your DK whistle. Just remember to sign up through us before you do. It’s how we know you care!

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High scores – that’s what we here for, right!? Well then, let’s serve you up right-quick, partner. I’ve got these players you’ll see down below, but you can also check out Stream-o-Nator, Hitter-Tron, and DFSBot to assemble the ultimate, Voltron-like lineup over at DraftKings (a.k.a. the paper factory). Oh yeah, don’t forget about our shiny new Ombotsman, which audits all Razzball tools (except the human ones) and keeps them in check – kinda like the IRS (fist shake). Ombotsman’s cool though, get to know him. Nice work, Rudy.

Anyways, as for me (like you care), I’m hopping on a flight to Denver to see my Twins in a three-game set against the Rockies. This will be stadium #20-something on the lifetime tour but that’s nothing. My dream is to win the lottery, and then one night, simultaneously attend every game at once, in hologram form. I haven’t been to Denver since 2007, but I’m sure not a whole lot has changed, right? All I know is this: I can’t wait to watch some baseball in a beautiful stadium and abide by whatever beautiful laws the beautiful home state enforces. Now, on with the picks!

New to DraftKings? Scared of feeling like a small fish in a big pond? Well try out this 20 person matchup of Razzball writers and friends to whet your DK whistle. Just remember to sign up through us before you do. It’s how we know you care!

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Ffffffft … BANG! That’s a bottle rocket in a nutshell. Actually, a bottle rocket in a nutshell isn’t feasible. What am I talking about? Oh yeah, happy Fourth of July, America. Bottle rockets are cool, but the fun doesn’t last long, and the finale is quick and to the point. That’s going to be the theme for this week’s article, because let’s face it, everyone’s in a rush to find some sand, sea, suds, and shorties. There’s always time for a little DFS action though, so head on over to DraftKings and set a lineup before you start grilling and/or chilling. In a rush? No worries, I have some players of interest you can peep, or just fire up any of Razzball’s DFS-friendly tools like Stream-o-Nator, Hitter-Tron and DFSBot. They’ll quickly provide the guidance needed, so you can get out there ASAP and enjoy being an American. We are damn lucky, so do it.

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I don’t know what this world’s come to, but I’m going to discuss the Mariners for a minute; a team that hasn’t been relevant since the lights of the King Dome shone brightly on Jay Buhner’s beautiful bald head. Seattle’s offense has sent gag reflexes into sixth gear in recent past, but some players are starting to come around, especially the sultan of Safeco, Kyle Seager. I’ll gush more about him later, but the Mariners can be a sneaky stack at home, and there are a couple M’s I’ll be all in on tonight. Screw it, keep reading and get my complete roster for the low price of squadoosh.

By all means, if you don’t like what you see, there are always Razzball’s kick-ass DFS tools like Hitter-Tron, Stream-o-Nator, and DFSBot that can help aid in the decision process. Either way, get on over to DraftKings and make precious memories of making money.

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No, I don’t mean save your actual money – that should be used for DraftKings purposes. If you’re new to the game, don’t be scurred. Use our promo link to get the ball rolling, and you’ll get a free contest ticket that could ultimately land you $100K – that’s a lot of cheddar. I’m talking about saving your Monopoly money and avoiding the pricier SP options like Stephen Strasburg ($11,400) and Garrett Richards ($10,200). The home/away splits for Stras have been downright scary for over a year (no stats – just trust me), and Richards was nuked the last time he faced the A’s just over a week ago (5 ER in 0.2 IP).

So, with that being said, let’s take a look at some guys that should stuff the stat sheet tonight. By all means, if you don’t like what you see, there are always Razzball’s kick-ass DFS tools like Hitter-Tron, Stream-o-Nator, and DFSBot to help aid in the decision process. Side note: You won’t see me referencing wOBA as much as other writers. I’ve got nothing against it, but I feel SLG% correlates better with DK’s scoring structure. Therefore, I remain an OPS guy – my two cents.

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With 11 of the 15 games pegged for the early contests on DraftKings, it’s a weird day to be a DFS baseball player, but a damn proud day to be an American. Thousands of men and women died for our freedom; so first and foremost, honor those brave souls any way you can, because without them, we wouldn’t be “enjoying” the daily grinds and the sweats (amongst many other [more important] things). Quit ogling the X-Men for one second and embrace the real heroes.

Now, back to the unique Memorial Day schedule – for the sake of not wasting research cycles, and in honor of my right to a Sunday Fun Day, this column will focus solely on the nighttime four-game set (i.e. the late games). To stand out in GPPs with such limited selection, it will take some creativity and a diamond in the rough or two, but let’s see what advantages we can find in just eight lineup cards. Of course, in-house tools like Hitter-Tron, Steam-o-Nator, and DFSBot are also here to help too. Oh, and on a random side note – why doesn’t Mike Olt change to #45? Olt 45 – it works every time. Billy Dee would be proud. Someone pass this along to Olt 45 – he can thank me later.

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Hi there. It’s me – the guy who vouched for Tyler Lyons in his last start, because let’s face it; his matchup (on paper) was prettier than Kelly Kapowski on prom night. Sadly, the outcome of said start turned out to be more like Prom Night the movie, which I never saw because it looked awful, but I imagine it was a blood bath with an awful soundtrack. So yeah, anyone with shares in Lyons (there were a lot) had an awful night, and I got trolled a little (which I love). I’m not sorry though. All I can do is present useful data the best I can and let the cards fall where they may. You just gotta keep on keepin’ on, you know? That being said, if you still can’t forgive me for Lyonsgate, there are other awesome tools here at Razzball like Stream-o-Nator, Hitter-Tron, and the new DFSBot. Wait, did I just call myself an awesome tool? Whatever. As always, we’ve got you covered here, so head on over to DraftKings and use our promo link; it could lead you to $100K and probably a foursome at the bare minimum. Now, let’s put this Lyons nonsense behind us and examine some key participants in tonight’s short slate.

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For the most part, I fancy myself a Bo Jackson (pre-MNF injury disaster) of the fantasy game, but at times, I can have my Drew Henson moments. I know I’m not alone here, and this past weekend was tough for those of the same ilk to keep their baseball blinders in place. The NFL Draft certainly was a distraction, and the deep dives into BVP, splits, and all other mind-numbing stats turned into shallow dives at the crappy motel pool that usually result in paralysis. As a result, my bankroll hasn’t moved much in the last three days (especially in the preferred, upwards direction), but what can I say? I love watching grown men cry into their phones and am always in awe (for lack of better terms) of the real-life Count Chocula, Mel Kiper, and his obsession with hand and arm size. But alas, all picks are in, and it’s time to turn my full attention back to the pixie dust version of America’s pastime – and you should join me – especially on DraftKings.

I am just a small cog in the machine that is Razzball, so keep it here for plenty of great DFS content all season, and check out the recently unveiled DFSBot to gain an extra edge on the competition; it still has that new car bot smell. Mmmmm … bot.

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Whenever I hear the classic Donovan tune, Atlantis, I’m taken back to that magical moment in Goodfellas when Tommy and Jimmy return to the bar to ice Billy Batts for his snide shine box remark. Well, that used to be the case; that is until DraftKings announced their Fantasy Baseball Championship in the Bahamas with a million bucks going to the winner! Hail, Atlantis indeed (the resort, get it?). Beach body (or lack thereof) be damned – I want in. I really shouldn’t encourage the competition, but you too can win your way to wonderland for as little as $2. So, get cracking and start stacking, because time’s a wasting and those qualifiers fill faster and faster every day. So let’s get on with the pickins…right after I point you back to the brand spanking new Razzball Tool. Four ladies and gentlemen (and I use that term loosely), I bring you the DFSbot care of our resident Miles Bennett Dyson, Rudy Gamble. Wanna know if a guy is cheap or expensive for the day on the good ‘ole DK? Well take a gander. Go on, I’ll still be here and so will the picks…ok, maybe you’ve gandered long enough, let’s get on with our day here.

Please, blog, may I have some more?
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