Welcome to the year end Razzball awards. I’m your host, Grey Albright and I’m joined by Random Italicized Voice, Hey. Also, on the red carpet for everyone’s arrival we have, MR. AL CAPS, “HOW ARE YOU?” And up in the balcony critiquing everyone’s outfits we have Clunky Segue, “As you were…” Before the show even begins, we have a very special musical guest, The Spin Doctors!Please, blog, may I have some more?
We laughed, we cried, we laughed and cried about Eric Hosmer. Take off your homemade aluminum hat that you wear so aliens can’t hear your thoughts and think back to March. You had that argument with your mom and you ran out of the house screaming, “I wish you were Evan Longoria!” Then when he went to the DL, you ran back into your house and screamed, “I love you Mom, can I move back into the basement?!” Then you streamed Philip Humber for his perfect game and you thought that this was a great time to change your hummingbird tattoo to a Humberbird tattoo complete with his likeness.Please, blog, may I have some more?
STEVE GARVEY?! Yeah, I don’t know how we scored this one. Actually, I do. Little known fact, I was one of the kids on The Baseball Bunch. Kidding. Though that would be amazing. Maybe we can organize a Baseball Bunch reunion and have them field grounders with the San Diego Chicken running around behind them, assuming none of The Baseball Bunch kids are now incarcerated or meth addicts.Please, blog, may I have some more?
Yesterday, James Shields yields 15 Ks, 1 run, but a win ain’t won. Murray Chass just bid a penny on the world’s smallest violin on eBay so he can play it just for Shields. Murray had this to say, “When men were gristled, and ladies were more gristled, we had a name for yellow-bellies like James Shields.Please, blog, may I have some more?
Yesterday, Hector Santiago went 7 IP, 0 ER, 1 hit, 1 walk, 10 Ks. Hey, it’s the White Sox closer from 6 months ago, with that gig lasting for a minute. Not an Urbandictionary minute, which is a long time. An actual minute.Please, blog, may I have some more?
Mike Moustakas left yesterday’s game with a groin injury that could end his season, which would also end his sophomore slump (the “o” is silent in sophomore, like when you make love to your woman — oofa!) The 2nd season like the 2nd Greek letter is beta.Please, blog, may I have some more?
For our last Buy/Sell of the season, I’m reminded of all that the past Buys have given this year. I got introspective, y’all. I thought about how a 2-for-4 on Monday put a Buy on my radar, then by Thursday he was either back to waivers or 10 for his last 14 and I wanted him on all my teams.Please, blog, may I have some more?
The .245 AVG is going to look ugly next March but 31 HRs and 80+ R/RBI has been nirvana for anyone (like Rudy) who plucked Josh Reddick off free agency in shallow leagues this year. The power is real and, unlike the last A’s power hitter (Jack Cust), he is an above average fielder. So the A’s now have 2/3 of a phallic OF foundation with Reddick and Yoenis. Where is Lance Johnson Jr or Dick Pole Jr when you need them?Please, blog, may I have some more?
Did anyone pitch well yesterday? Clayton Richard (3 2/3 IP, 4 ER, 10 baserunners, 2 Ks) went in Petco. Hodgepadre, why do you let me down the last week of the season? Do I not feed you after midnight like you ask?Please, blog, may I have some more?
Nick had his heart set on doing a 2013 fantasy baseball mock draft. And who am I to disappoint people? I’m not my father! Sorry, my shrink says it’s good to get that stuff off my chest. The problem with doing a mock draft this early is things change even if no games are played.Please, blog, may I have some more?