Yesterday, I went over some fantasy baseball hitters to grab. Today, we look at some below the radar pitchers. (Of course, it depends on your league size on whether these schmohawks are above or below the radar. As that cliché goes, your trash is someone else’s wife.) If I were you, this would probably be a very helpful post for me. Please, blog, may I have some more?

Please, blog, may I have some more?

$12 Salads

You know that restaurant your girlfriend/wife/what-have-you likes to go to that charges, like, $12 for a salad? Every time you go there, you have a thoroughly solid meal. No complaints, except you just paid $12 for a salad when you could’ve went to McDonald’s and stuffed you and your woman for $10 schmools and had $2 in quarters left over to make the hotel bed vibrate. Please, blog, may I have some more?

Please, blog, may I have some more?

Finally, Francisco Liriano looked like the fantasy baseball player that we all wanted when we drafted him back in March. And by “we,” I mean you. How did I know you drafted Liriano? Because, when you drafted, I was in your room, sitting behind the John Cena life-sized cardboard cutout, eating your Raspberry Newtons, while I read your Choose Your Own Adventure book. Please, blog, may I have some more?

Please, blog, may I have some more?

I listened to Lisa Loeb’s “Stay” while considering the relevance of the Manny trade, then I thought, “Why on earth am I listening to Lisa Loeb?” Rather than viewing this trade like it’s the end of an era, Red Sox fans seem to be viewing this trade like it’s the end of an error. Please, blog, may I have some more?

Please, blog, may I have some more?

Ken Griffey Jr. was traded to the Chicago White Sox for Danny Richar and Nick Masset. If that excites you, I got this videotaped Connect Four match between my two twelve-year-old cousins that will blow your mind. Griffey’s barely a fifth outfielder in mixed leagues at this point in his career. Please, blog, may I have some more?

Please, blog, may I have some more?

Pudge (<—this nickname wasn’t always ironic) was traded to the Yankees for Kyle Farnsworth, a cuddle boy if there ever was one. This moves yawnstipates me from a fantasy perspective. Farnsworth should not take over as closer, but that does not mean he won’t take over as closer. Please, blog, may I have some more?

Please, blog, may I have some more?

Looks like the Angels got someone new to carry Vlad’s crutches and Figgins’s machine-washable throw pillows he uses to bench press. Out with the young and in with the just a tad older and much better. Post All-Star Break Teixeira (PABST) is a thing of beauty in the 2nd half of the year and PABST’s about to bringing his beauty to all of the spoiled aristocrats behind the Orange Curtain. Please, blog, may I have some more?

Please, blog, may I have some more?

Chris Carpenter returns tomorrow against the Braves to make his first start after last year’s Tommy John surgery. (BTW, if Tommy John hadn’t had the surgery that made him famous, he might not have missed two years in his prime and he might have won 300 games, which would’ve made him famous for what he would have wanted to be famous for. Please, blog, may I have some more?

Please, blog, may I have some more?