Pat Burrell and Milton Bradley, the new members of the Rays and Cubs respectively, are in similar tiers as outfielders for 2009 fantasy baseball, that not-so-coveted thirdish/fourth-kinda outfielder spot.  With their signings, it solidifies in everyone’s mind where Milton Bradley will throw a tantrum next year and where Burrell will be seen going from home to 1st in 12.7 seconds.  Please, blog, may I have some more?

Please, blog, may I have some more?

Brian Fuentes heads to the Angels, confirming some suspicions I had. The guy at Subway spit into your tuna? No, those weren’t suspicions, that was *spooky voice* paranoia.  While so many fantasy baseball ‘perts were appointing Arrendondo the closer of the Angels right after the K-Rod departure, I had my suspicions it was a bit premature.  Please, blog, may I have some more?

Please, blog, may I have some more?

We here at Razzball.com know that picking a fantasy baseball team name is never easy.  You want a funny fantasy baseball team name for 2009, but how crude do you go?   Do you insult everyone or just women and children?   Or maybe you come up a fantasy team name that is some type of (un)imaginative pun like Say It Ain’t Sosa or Put It In The Pujols. Please, blog, may I have some more?

Please, blog, may I have some more?

I know; I’m a bad person for putting Josh Hamilton in the 2009 fantasy baseball overrated category.  Sorry.  I also don’t like soda.  It is what it is.  Don’t hate the player, hate the cola.  Last year, Josh Hamilton entered a 12 step program for fantasy relevance.  Please, blog, may I have some more?

Please, blog, may I have some more?

Maybe Arod and Mark Teixeira can double date with Madonna and Sheryl Crow.  Latino Blanco Twin powers activate — form of a mild salsa!  Form of a Tequiza tequila-flavored beer!  Form of a Chardonnay Sangria!  The Yanks sign Teixeira, figuring it would be easier than letting him sign with the Nationals and then buying the entire team. Please, blog, may I have some more?

Please, blog, may I have some more?

In our series of 2009 fantasy sleepers, I take a detour down my own personal Heartbreak Hill.  Anyone who has read this site for a few knows I had a huge crush on Alex Gordon going into the 2008 season, so it’s with great regret I must confess, “Gordon, I can’t quit you.”  That’s right, I’m pegging Gordon as a fantasy sleeper for the 2009 season.  Please, blog, may I have some more?

Please, blog, may I have some more?

Colby Rasmus goes by the nickname Razz or Razzle-Dazzle, which should make him a favorite here at Razzball, but there’s something pricky about him that I don’t like.  Might be the name, Colby.  It sounds like a total douche name, like a character’s name in a Bret Easton Ellis novel.  Please, blog, may I have some more?

Please, blog, may I have some more?