If Ian Stewart has multiple position eligibility, most importantly 2nd base eligibility, then color me chicken and call me cock-fed in my corn hole.  Skip Pedroia and grab Stewart late, even in shallow leagues.  But with only 12 games played at 2nd base last year, I’m going to assume Stewart’s only eligible at 3rd base for most of you and he probably won’t earn that 2nd eligibility in 2009. 

Please, blog, may I have some more?

And then Dustin Pedroia turned my Silver Bullet into a Sam Adams.  I wouldn’t have believed it either, if I didn’t see it with my own eyes.   But Pedroia wasn’t done there.  Noooo…  With a droplet of his sweat, he defrosted Ted Williams so The Splendid Splinter could go to a Southie’s Little League game. 

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Pat Burrell and Milton Bradley, the new members of the Rays and Cubs respectively, are in similar tiers as outfielders for 2009 fantasy baseball, that not-so-coveted thirdish/fourth-kinda outfielder spot.  With their signings, it solidifies in everyone’s mind where Milton Bradley will throw a tantrum next year and where Burrell will be seen going from home to 1st in 12.7 seconds. 

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Brian Fuentes heads to the Angels, confirming some suspicions I had. The guy at Subway spit into your tuna? No, those weren’t suspicions, that was *spooky voice* paranoia.  While so many fantasy baseball ‘perts were appointing Arrendondo the closer of the Angels right after the K-Rod departure, I had my suspicions it was a bit premature. 

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We here at Razzball.com know that picking a fantasy baseball team name is never easy.  You want a funny fantasy baseball team name for 2009, but how crude do you go?   Do you insult everyone or just women and children?   Or maybe you come up a fantasy team name that is some type of (un)imaginative pun like Say It Ain’t Sosa or Put It In The Pujols.

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I know; I’m a bad person for putting Josh Hamilton in the 2009 fantasy baseball overrated category.  Sorry.  I also don’t like soda.  It is what it is.  Don’t hate the player, hate the cola.  Last year, Josh Hamilton entered a 12 step program for fantasy relevance. 

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Maybe Arod and Mark Teixeira can double date with Madonna and Sheryl Crow.  Latino Blanco Twin powers activate — form of a mild salsa!  Form of a Tequiza tequila-flavored beer!  Form of a Chardonnay Sangria!  The Yanks sign Teixeira, figuring it would be easier than letting him sign with the Nationals and then buying the entire team.

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In our series of 2009 fantasy sleepers, I take a detour down my own personal Heartbreak Hill.  Anyone who has read this site for a few knows I had a huge crush on Alex Gordon going into the 2008 season, so it’s with great regret I must confess, “Gordon, I can’t quit you.”  That’s right, I’m pegging Gordon as a fantasy sleeper for the 2009 season. 

Please, blog, may I have some more?