Yesterday, Adrian Beltre and Stephen Drew both hit for the cycle. Hadn’t happened on the same day for two players since 1920 when George Burns (Yes, that George Burns) and Bobby Veach did it. But back then there were five bases, everyone wore aviator goggles and most played because they thought it would help them avoid scurvy.

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I left Matt Antonelli off the September call up post because I thought this season’s struggles would mean no promotion, but the Friars cut Tadahito Iguchi and decided to reward Antonelli for a miserable minor league season. Though he has been better recently.

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Usually on Friday we do our Buy and Sell feature, but with September 1st knocking on August’s door — August 31st is that you? Uh… No. August 30th? Nope. August 32nd? No, you nitwit! It’s September 1st! – it’s time we looked at September call ups.

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When Max Scherzer was first called up, he was dubbed Jobacum by Razzballers because of his uncanny resemblance to Joba Chamberlain and Tim Lincecum or maybe it was because the name Jobacum made me giggle. Either way, in Jobacum’s cup of coffee earlier this year, he impressed.

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Let’s take a quick stroll down memory lane for what we’ve said about Ryan Zimmerman this season, “Out with a shoulder injury. Recovering from a wrist injury. We recommend that they just amputate the arm, put on a new one, and call him Ryan Zimmerhands,” “Being outslugged by Aaron Boone.

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Reports say Mark Kotsay is headed to the Sawx. If he lands there, he’ll start over Coco Crisp and will have some slight fantasy value. Think AL-Only leagues. More importantly, this would free up the Braves outfield for Brandon Jones to start then Jordan Schafer, the (HGH-aided) five-tooler, to get the call come September 1st. 

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The Rangers traded Eddie Guardado to the Twins for Mark Hamburger. If Hamburger doesn’t ring a dinner bell, that means you’re not related to him. With the trade of Eddie Guardado, Frank Francisco, whose claim to fame until yesterday was tossing a chair at a lady in the stands, will get the nod to take over as the Rangers closer.

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Shaun Marcum, who decided to shit fantasy owners’ houses when he returned from his injury, was sent to the minors to work on his mechanics. Will return in September when rosters expand, but at this point you don’t want him deciding your fantasy championship.

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Guess what time it is? No, not three o’clock. It’s time for this week’s fantasy baseball buy/sell thingiemajig. Dur! As we move closer to the end of the season, I wanted to take this opening section to point out some hard facts.

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This week’s Fantasy Roundtable (it really is round!) is being hosted by Fantasy Baseball Generals. Because Rudy’s basking in the Basque region of Spain and Spumoni’ing down the Amalfi coast like he’s a Soprano, your very own, Grey, took the reins.

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