There’s a few people who are going to understand what FIP is.  The people who scored a 2400 on the SATs.  Or 1600 if you’re old school, literally.  The people who use a Bunsen Burner to light their pipe.  The people who know what is in a Twinkie. 

Please, blog, may I have some more?

CC Sabathia left his start with biceps tightness.  Or is it bicep?  Hmm…  Either way, it’s not great to hear about an arm issue with your fantasy ace.  Right now they’re saying no tests are even necessary.  Give me two hundred CCs of a White Russian and I’m asking this, you pay one hundred trillion dollars for a player and then you don’t send him for tests when he hurts his bicep(s)? 

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Right now betting on Jimmy Rollins to turn it around seems like a Horn Bet.  Unless Ben Zobrist is rolling the dice.  Rollins is too old, he’s too tired and he’s too… Wait, he’s not blind.  Though his average might make you think he could use some of Ortiz’s eyedrops. 

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Surprise, surprise, Canada’s number one export after Stubby Clapp is hurt, eh?  Erik Bedard takes his inflammed shoulder to the DL.  The Mariners say he’ll be fine to return on June 23rd.  If you were to read between the lines, here’s what you would see, “Please, someone trade us something for this pitcher that cost us Adam Jones, Sherrill and Chris Tillman

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In a tie game, Cito Gaston brought in his closer, Scott Downs, to work the bottom of the ninth.  Downs did that, then the Blue Jays scored five runs in the top of the 10th.  So with the game in the bag, Gaston removed Downs for a pinch hitter, right? 

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Suffering through a first half of the fantasy baseball season that you wish would go away?  Owning Delgado, Peavy, Nolasco, Aramis, Volquez and Reyes got you down?  Wanna draft Ben Zobrist in the first round? Simply want another team because your fantasy baseball obsession hasn’t pulled you sufficiently far enough away from your loved ones?

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So how was your weekend?  Mine included news that Jake Peavy could be out for as long as 12 weeks with a tear in his ankle.  Could’ve been worse, he could’ve hurt his ankle kicking me in the groin.  He was fitted for a cast the other day. 

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You never owned Aubrey Huff before, but going into your draft you glanced at your cheatsheets and saw Huff’s 2008 numbers and thought you really found something purdy.  You called your lady and said, “Baby, tonight we can watch any Kate Hudson movie you want, I got Aubrey Huff in my draft!” So you sat through Ten Things I Hate About Kate Hudson and Matthew I’m-Kinda-Gay and thought life’s okay, this movie will end and Huff will still be on my team. 

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Kelvim Escobar was sent to the bullpen.  His value goes from potentially good to potentially nothing.  Scioscia said Escobar will be pitching out of the bullpen for the rest of the season.  Scioscia also said Brandon Wood would start at shortstop two years ago and said Arredondo, the guy now in the minors, would be the closer and he said Rex Hudler’s got the best herb, when he wants to get wiggy with Figgy. 

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James Lipton recently sat down with Stephen Strasburg and when he asked him what he thought of becoming a Nat, Stephen Strasburg said a’la Brando in On the Waterfront, “Actaaaaaa!!!”  Stephen Strasburg is THE BEST PITCHER EVER.  (Caps were provided by Scott Boras.)  The hype and superlatives of Strasburg have been spewed across the interwebs, so allow me to give you some perspective. 

Please, blog, may I have some more?