The other day a Razzball reader, Tim L., contacted me about mocking his fantasy baseball keeper league.
I just wanted to say I’m a huge fan of your site. I think you do a fantastic job and have great analysis (as well as it being very funny). The reason I’m writing you is that my 10 team long time keeper league is looking for a celebrity expert to mock the first 2 rounds of our 2009 draft. It’s a typical 5 X 5 Roto and all the information (keepers, roster sizes, innings limit) is neatly organized. We wouldn’t be expecting a write up on each pick, just the picks. We have been together as a group a long time and everyone is excited about some expert analysis during this long off season. My league is well aware of your site and are regular visitors. I understand you are a busy guy but perhaps you would have some time in the next few months. If you would, please let me know. Our group would be thrilled. Please, blog, may I have some more?
Rafael Furcal returns to the Braves, which can’t be a good thing for 2009 fantasy baseball owners. I mean, it can, but it probably won’t be. This move will have people slightly too excited about Furcal. Then you throw in his great April in 2008 — hitting .357 with 5 home runs and 8 steals in only 36 games. Again, this could lead to unrealistic expectations. 36 games does not a season make. Don’t think Furcal has a .350+ average in his tuba case. He doesn’t. Last year, Furcal had a BABIP of .380 in April. A number that would’ve came down if he played the rest of the season, leading Furcal to be the .285 hitter he is. Please, blog, may I have some more?
While regurgigating Jobacum, I mentioned Gamel is a lot like Ryan Braun. All hit, no field. In Single-A ball in 2007, Gamel made 53 errors in 128 games. In that post, I said that he plays 3rd like Jenny McCarthy at a celebrity All-Star game, but I think I was overestimating his glove work. Kenny Mayne might be a better comparison. Last year Gamel cut his errors to 30, but still led Double-A with the most errors by a third baseman. Oh Gamel, you’ve done it again! If he could just get to the big leagues as a third baseman, his bat will be one to own in fantasy. But can he help your fantasy baseball team in 2009? Please, blog, may I have some more?
I’m not sure if Jeff Kent will retire. I’m sure his wife doesn’t want him to retire because he seems like he’d be a miserable prick around the house. Why doesn’t this remote work?! She sighs, “You have to turn on the TV first.” Maybe he lands as a DH somewhere in the AL. Please, blog, may I have some more?
There’s only two types of years for AJ Burnett. He’s either playing hard because it’s a contract year or he’s hardly playing because he contracted an injury. Unless the Yanks are willing to give him a new contract every year to add to this one (which is definitely possible with the Yank$), our guess is that this will be a lot closer to a Pavano redux than a Mussina repeat. For now, Burnett becomes the Yankees number two pitcher, though Wang might have a thang to say about that. Please, blog, may I have some more?
Not Krispie Young. I’m talking about the lanky, San Diego pitcher, Chris Young. (Though some may say Krispie is also a sleeper.) Last year, POO-holes put a little extra stank on a rope right back at Young’s nose. Young ended up only starting 18 games and a few of those starts were obviously just, “Let’s see if he can start and not crawl into a little ball cause Pujols put the fear of Xenu into him.” By the end of the season, Chris Young put a string of four consecutive starts together with a 1.55 ERA, including a September two-hitter against the playoff-bound Brewers. Chris Young should be back in 2009 in a big non-skull fracture type way. Please, blog, may I have some more?
A non-stop flurry of nothing came out of Las Vegas as the Winter Meetings came to a close, as the gold nuggets ended up being turd nuggets. Not that this deal was a real whopper, but Melky and Mike Cameron wasn’t finalized so I’m not going to go into that yet. Please, blog, may I have some more?
Yes, sometimes I try and make the titles double entrendres just so we get traffic from really bizarre places. Now if I were to mention the Mets are now throwing a Rod and a Putz, our traffic would skew even further. Please, blog, may I have some more?
On Tuesday, Brian Cashman, the Yankees GM, flew to California to speak with CC Sabathia about him signing with the Yankees. The conversation went like this:
“I wanna play on the West Coast.”
“We can have In N Out Burger shipped to the East Coast.”
“Don’t get greedy.”
CC opens up the book he’s been reading, How to Serve the Rally Monkey. Please, blog, may I have some more?
K-Rod wasn’t the top closer according to our Fantasy Baseball Player Rater and he’s not the number one closer according to our 2009 Fantasy Baseball Projections — it’s called Point Shares, ya’ll! The title of top closer goes to Mariano Rivera and Jonathan Papelbon, respectively. Please, blog, may I have some more?