In 2009, penciled in behind Josh Hamilton in the cleanup spot for the Rangers is Nelson Cruz. He has 30 homer pop and could steal ten bases with Ron Kovic pinch running. Where’s the lose? Why is he a fantasy sleeper and not simply being drafted like the Minotaur he is? Wait a second, Grey, are you going to burst my freakin’ bubble on Nelson Cruz?Please, blog, may I have some more?
At the age of 29 in the year two-zero-zero-six, Travis Hafner went 100/42/117/.308. MVP numbers, for sure. If you were sitting behind Hafner at a movie, you didn’t even mind that his head was blocking half the screen because the numbers were that good. You briefly considered amending the North Dakota Wikipedia page to add Hafner above Maris. You even tried entering Pronk into the baby name discussion with your wife. So what happened? Is Travis Hafner even worth considering in 2009 for fantasy?Please, blog, may I have some more?
The Nats hope that Adam Dunn can teach youngsters like Elijah Dukes and Lastings Milledge the patience not to swing at every pitch or innocent bystander. Dunn will pick his teeth with the Washington Monument and quench his thirst with its reflecting pool. Adam Dunn is not going to lose any fantasy value in Washington with the Nationals. Adam Dunn could play in Petco and hit 40 home runs and strikeout 160 times. Okay, he may hit 40 home runs and only drive in 50 RBIs. I keed. In the top 40 outfielders for 2009 fantasy baseball, I put Adam Dunn’s projections at 80/40/85/.245/5. Those still seem about right. Adam Dunn is predictable and for that, we like him. The average is a drain. But, again, you know that going in. Unlike the Diamondbacks last year, you don’t want to put Dunn on a team with Krispie Young.Please, blog, may I have some more?
That’s a Fantasy Baseball Look at the signings or trades of Randy Wolf, Bobby Abreu, Aaron Heilman, Rich Hill, Andruw Jones and Ty Wiggington. And, yes, I couldn’t resist the palindrome. I’m real late to the discussion on some of these. Not because I didn’t hear about them, but I just didn’t feel like they warranted immediate attention. So here’s a fantasy baseball breakdown for these offseason signings and trades:
Ty Wiggington – Last year at 2nd base he was nice to have. At 3rd base this year, he’s okay. I’d slot him in between 21 and 25 on the top 20 3rd basemen for 2009 fantasy baseball. I’d prefer to take a flier on someone like Gordon or Sandoval though if you’re that deep into the position. This acquisition hurts Luke Scott’s value, but Luke Scott hurts Luke Scott’s value anyway.Please, blog, may I have some more?
No, this is not the bottom of the Top 20 2009 fantasy baseball rankings barrel. No, next we’re not going to do the Top 20 Guys Who Will Have The Most Balks. Chillax. It’s one post. The only fantasy baseballers (<–my Mom’s phrase) that seem to pay attention to Middle Relievers are those that play in a Holds league. This is wrong, I tell ya. A great way to balance out your ratios is by carrying a few middle relievers on your staff. (BTW, Ron Jeremy can carry three middle relievers on his staff.) Say you had Aaron Harang last year and he mistook your team’s ERA for his toilet, but you also had Waking Joey Devine. With just Harang, you had the unsightly dump of a 4.78 ERA. With Devine and his brand new toilet brush, you had a 3.95 ERA. Voila, snitches! If you also carried Brad Ziegler, you had a combined 3.36 ERA. Not to mention, you had saves when Ziegler took over for Street. Middle relievers can also help balance out your junky closers. Okay, school’s out, Alice Cooper. Anyway, here’s the top 20 middle relievers for 2009 fantasy baseball:
1.Please, blog, may I have some more?
After I posted the top 40 starters for 2009 fantasy baseball, there was a public outcry in the comments. Where is so and so?! It was as if I butchered their bunny rabbit like the Roger and Me lady. No one’s butchering your bunny rabbit, friend. Your bunny rabbit’s fine. Unfortunately, I don’t think your bunny rabbit’s a top 40 starter. Your bunny rabbit, friend, is a top 60 starter. How’s dem carrots? BTW, while the 2009 fantasy baseball rankings are the gospel, they aren’t set in stone. I update them occasionally. Anyway, here’s the top 60 starters for 2009 fantasy baseball:
41.Please, blog, may I have some more?
It’s that time again. No, not time to take a whizz. It’s time to join some fantasy baseball leagues that you abandon by June 1st and then pretend to never visit the site again that sponsors them because you’re a scared baby inside that ten inch crust of orange Cheetos stain. That’s all right, we here at Razzball have figured out a way around all of you nogoodniks sucking the fun out of our 2009 fantasy baseball leagues. We’re going to have a bunch of leagues and crown a winner from each, then we’re going to crown ONE winner from all of the winners. We will be be crowning the winner by taking each team’s points and multiplying it against a ‘league competitiveness factor’.Please, blog, may I have some more?
With the 2009 fantasy baseball rankings for every position in the bizz-ag. We turn our conjunctivitis-tainted eye towards the top 100 for 2009 fantasy baseball. This should have you skipping around like a little school girl. I love Razzball and the Jonas Brothers!Please, blog, may I have some more?
We at Razzball realize that exporting our views across the country has damaging consequences on the blogosphere. To help make amends, we are reaching out to leading team blogs and featuring their locally blogged answers to pressing 2009 fantasy baseball questions regarding their team. We feel this approach will be fresher, more sustainable, and require less energy consumption (for us anyway). The 2009 Brewers Fantasy Baseball Preview comes courtesy of Chuckie Hacks.Please, blog, may I have some more?
It’s time to take our beginning of the month look at all the major league closers. Before we get to that, I want to clear up a potential misconception. Donkey-corns are not the only closers I’ll draft for my 2009 fantasy team. I’ll more than happily draft closers from the Brain Freeze category. Cause, see, I’m a save vulture. It is what it is. I’ll take saves from anywhere, except probably from the $12 Salad category. I think those guys are great. I just don’t believe in paying for saves. I said “probably” because at the right draft spot, everyone’s worth looking at it. Some of these closing jobs aren’t finalized just yet. That wouldn’t stop me from grabbing both guys if I had room and the price were right. Just because everyone thinks Brandon Lyon should be the closer doesn’t mean Fernando Rodney has no place on a team until Leyland makes a formal announcement. Anyway, here’s all of the closers for your 2009 fantasy baseball draft, as of right now:
You know that restaurant your girlfriend/wife/what-have-you likes to go to that charges, like, $12 for a salad? Every time you go there, you have a thoroughly solid meal. No complaints, except you just paid $12 for a salad when you could’ve went to McDonald’s and stuffed you and your woman for ten schmools and had $2 in quarters left over to make the hotel bed vibrate. These closers are $12 salads.Please, blog, may I have some more?