Francisco Liriano went four innings and gave up seven runs against a team that absolutely kills lefties in Fenway.  Let’s run down his 3-year averages for the months of the season, starting with April: 6.93, 1.99, 1.51, 2.31, 1.13 and 4.36. 

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I already sort of covered this when I went over how you should not be dropping guys from your fantasy baseball team that you just drafted because they’re in a slump.  Due to the amount of feedback that continues to come in about whether or not Chris Davis is worth more than Cristian Guzman (fill in any schmohawk name), I decided to cover the same topic again, but this time with examples.  

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Ryan Doumit went from sleeper to 2nd tier fantasy catcher last year after he managed to take a year off from his Glass Joe impersonation that dogged him throughout 2006-2007 (2006 = 89 games missed w/ hamstring issues, 2007 = 26 games missed with wrist, and then 20 games with ankle). 

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For owners bemoaning Al-Ram’s bad start, it could be worse.  You could have Whore-Ram (Horacio Ramirez). (BTW, only fantasy baseball could convince a straight man that a Man-Ram is more preferable to a Whore-Ram.  BTW II, How do you go from a Whore-Ram to a Man-Ram? 

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And David Ortiz goes pop.  For Patriots’ Day, the Sawx had a special throwback day where Varitek went yard, Pedroia acted like an MVP and David Ortiz acted less jenky than he had all season.  Fulfilling their end of the bargain was Mark Hendrickson and the Orioles bullpen. 

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In yesterday’s game, Matt Kemp had 2 HRs and 5 RBIs. On the season, he’s batting .383 with 3 HRs, 14 RBIs, 12 Runs and 4 steals.  The 7th spot in the order is killing his value like Daniel Craig killed the Bond series. 

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Robinson Cano? Please tell me you’re not going to suggest we buy into Robinson Cano? Please, Grey, I was beginning to find you halfway intelligent. Sorry, random italicized voice, I’m a glutton for punishment.  Someone has a terrific season the previous year (Pedroia) and I pull back. 

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Alex Gordon revealed yesterday that he would require hip surgery and would miss a few months.  Willie Bloomquist owners rejoice!  Obviously this isn’t great news for Gordon.  That’s 99 red balloons for your fearless leader, Grey.  I loved me some Alex Gordon. 

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I wrote this blurb about Daisuke Matsuzaka, then ran it through an online Japanese translator then converted it back to English.  Here’s what came out — “Dice-K’s arm fell asleep!  You wish he was going to recover like Tom Cruise in The Last Samurai after he found humility.

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I think I’m approximately six weeks late on this, but if you read Razzball daily (of course you do, you reader, you!) then you’ve read before some, if not all, of these predictions.  So what now? Read them again.  They won’t hurt you. 

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