Now it’s time for everyone’s favorite game, Fantasy Baseball, Fun With Numbers. Ding, ding, ding… Bassoon… Triangle! Triangle! Triangle! Cow bell! More cow bell! One last ding. In today’s installment of Fantasy Baseball, Fun With Numbers, we’re going to look at some outfielders and try to figure out if maybe the numbers tell a different story than their names tell. Anyway, here’s the latest in Fantasy Baseball, Fun With Numbers:
Player A – Last season, 95/17/71/.303/29
Player B – Last season, 112/22/66/.280/12
Player A is Johnny Damon, Player B is Curtis Granderson
Player A – In 362 at-bats Pre-All Star, 50/4/39/.285/23
Player B – In 379 at-bats Pre-All Star, 50/5/31/.253/21
Player A is Alex Rios, Player B is Carlos Gomez
Player A – In 248 at-bats Post-All Star, 36/9/39/.278/9
Player B – In 268 at-bats Post-All Star, 46/9/25/.299/13
Player A is Krispie Young, Player B is Matt Kemp. Please, blog, may I have some more?
Oh, they’re not just bad. Nah, I outdid even myself this time. On this drafternoon, I picked a team that is near-perfectly awful. They simultaneously suck and blow. On a scale of one to ten, they’re a negative seven. I did the math! Somehow I managed to get a team where not one hitter projects for more than twelve home runs. If someone in the Royals brass gets wind of my drafting skills, I may get a job! If you think I’m being facetious (which was recently outlawed in Madagascar), shame on you. And shame on this team! I took part in a fantasy baseball draft this past Saturday to pick the worst fantasy baseball team. And I think I done did it. My co-conspirators in this were:
Drunk Jays Fans
Fantasy Baseball Cafe
Fantasy Pros 911
Hire Jim Essian
Fantasy Baseball Geeks
Beyond the Box Score
Come with me as I take out the trash:
Random thoughts about various rounds of the draft:
ROUND 1 – I had my eye on Ronnie Belliard like only Mrs. Please, blog, may I have some more?
I did a Google search for Chris Davis and it said, “Did you mean Superman?” Weird! The force is very strong in this young Texas Ranger. Chuck Norris drives an ice cream truck covered in human skulls; Chris Davis serves the Bomb Pops. I’m not sure if there’s anyone in all of fantasy baseball this year who has climbed further in a shorter time during this offseason. I’ve done my own basting of the turkey with a Chris Davis sleeper post. Please, blog, may I have some more?
This was, as they say in Italy, an Experto Callaspo AL-Only draft. What AL-Only means to me? Thanks for asking, random italicized voice. It means I probably won’t have one pitcher that I would usually have in a mixed league. I contemplated about how I wanted to go about this draft. It’s good to have a game plan, ya know? So I decided, since I don’t really like AL pitchers, I would get solid pitchers anyway. Zoinks! I figured that solid pitchers would be at a premium and if I got my share, I’d be in good shape. Also, from my knowledge of other ‘pert drafts, no one drafts starters early, so while they’re zigging, I decided to zag. “Knowing your opponents’ weaknesses is half the duel,” Aaron Burr. When you see my pitchers, you’ll see I didn’t really get that many great ones, but for AL-Only I have a top three pitching staff going into the season. Then there’s the strategy I employed for hitters. I decided to punt catchers, of course, and up the middle. Punting the MIs was because I knew who I wanted late and I knew guys like Alexei Ramirez would go way early (He went in the 2nd round.) Okay, before I get to my thoughts I jotted down during the AL-Only draft, here’s my co-conspirators:
Fantasy Baseball Dugout
The Fantasy Man
Fantasy Sports Commissioner Training Institute
Advanced Fantasy Baseball
Fantasy Sports R Us
Fantasy Baseball Sherpa
Here’s my team:
C: Taylor Teagarden (19)
1B: Carlos Pena (3)
2B: Asdrubal Cabrera (15)
SS: Jed Lowrie (11)
3B: Brandon Wood (12)
MI: Wilson Betemit (23)
CI: Jason Giambi (10)
OF: Carlos Quentin (1)
OF: Carl Crawford (2)
OF: Vernon Wells (5)
OF: Franklin Gutierrez (14)
OF: Brett Gardner (16)
UT: DeWayne Wise (25)
P: James Shields (4)
P: Joba Chamberlain (6)
P: John Danks (7)
P: Brad Ziegler (8)
P: Brandon Lyon (9)
P: Anthony Reyes (13)
P: Dan Wheeler (17)
P: Kevin Millwood (18)
P: Rafael Betancourt (22)
Bench: Melky Cabrera (20), Wladimir Balentien (21), Matt Thornton (24), Jeremy Sowers (26), Damaso Marte (27)
Notes I jotted down during the draft:
ROUND 1 & 2 – I get Carlos N Carl with my first two picks. Yuck. Seriously, I hate AL-Only. I have no idea where all the good players have gone, but I think it’s into the NL. Please, blog, may I have some more?
Where have all the groin pulls gone? In my day, you pulled a hammy or a groin, and you liked it! Now, these kids are all about obliques. What in tarnation is an oblique? Where is it? Is it even in your body? Do you acquire it in some seedy alley in Tijuana? Hurt your femur, dang’nabbit! So Trevor Hoffman is laid up for a few with a strained oblique. He’ll probably miss the first week of the season and, as with old people, they don’t bounce back like they used to, even with tennis balls on their walker. So Trevor Hoffman might be out for longer than a week, then this injury might turn out to be a recurring injury that knocks him out for a week every month or so. Who knows? Please, blog, may I have some more?
Which one is Peter Gammons? You make the call… (They are best played simultaneously.) Please, blog, may I have some more?
I already did the catchers, 2nd basemen, shortstops, 3rd basemen, outfielders and starters to target for 2009 fantasy baseball. I skipped the 1st basemen on purpose because I don’t think you should be taking a flier on 1st basemen. You need some anchors for your hitting. Then someone commented yesterday asking for the 1st basemen to target and the course of Razzball history was changed forever, like when Marty got into that DeLorean. I haven’t changed my mind that you shouldn’t be taking a flier on a 1st basemen, but sometimes things are out of your control or you need a corner man or a Utility guy. This is a supplement to the top 20 1st basemen of 2009 fantasy baseball. If you’re feeling especially industrious, click on the players name to read more about them or to see their 2009 projections. Anyway, here’s some 1st basemen to target for 2009 fantasy baseball:
Chris Duncan – Colby Rasmus has moved above him on the depth charts, but I think Duncan still gets 300 ABs and nears 20 HRs. Unless LaRussa doesn’t want anyone coaching his pitching staff. Dave Duncan, “Muahahahahahahaha…” Pause. Duncan, “And you know that!”
Mike Jacobs – He’ll probably hit .250 and batting in the Royals order will do him no favors, but he could hit 30 HRs and have one of those lucky BABIP years and end up hitting .275. Though I wouldn’t team him up with a Dunn, Krispie or Uggla-type. Please, blog, may I have some more?
Who Knew? Apparently, everyone. I may have been the only one rooting for Aaron Heilman; Lou definitely was not. Well, open that window and throw Heilman out. Sean Marshall has been named the Cubs fifth starter. As I said somewhere in the comments in the last couple of days, I like whoever comes away with the 5th starter job for the Cubs. They’re gonna win games. Know what I mean, Paula Dean? But what can we actually expect from Sean Marshall? Well, let’s put it this way since we’re talking about the Cubbies. I’d prefer to have Sean Marshall on my fantasy team for where he’s going to be drafted compared to Carlos Zambrano, Ted Lilly, Rich Harden or Ryan Dempster. From Marshall, you should expect a low 4 ERA, a 1.35 WHIP and decent Ks. As with any fifth starter, Sean “Puffy” Marshall may get skipped on occasion, but he’ll also face off against lower tier starters potentially helping him with wins. Anyway, here’s what else I saw yesterday in spring training for fantasy baseball:
Chris Getz – We move over to the South Side and stay with the Chi-Town theme. Getz will be the starting 2nd baseman gig for The Pale Hose. He’ll probably bat 9th or 1st depending on the breeze that is circulating through Ozzie’s office. Unlike Marshall, I don’t get Getz. If he gets 500 ABs, maybe he reaches 7 HRs and 10 SBs. If you’re thinking those numbers look a lot like Kelly Johnson, you wouldn’t be too far off. Only Getz could hurt you in average as well as RBIs and Runs if he bats ninth. In AL-Only leagues and deep leagues, I could see you looking, but the league would need to be Cousteau deep. For what it’s worth, ZIPS likes him more giving him about 10/12 and .275 (they only gave him 393 ABs, so I’m projecting their stats up). I think you’ll be miserable if you own him. Please, blog, may I have some more?
Here at Razzball, besides doling out fantasy baseball advice, we also host a contest to field the worst fantasy baseball team. The worst fantasy baseball league signups are just about at capacity, but if you’re finding us late in the preseason, you might still be able to get in, or not. I really have no idea. That’s Rudy’s department. But I’m in one of these leagues, so I thought I’d share with you my fantasy baseball worst top 20 list. When I did my worst fantasy baseball rankings, it took far longer than for my other leagues. You literally have to change every single default ranking (except Howie Kendrick who was about 150 regularly and turned out to be about the same after reranking– there’s always one, I tell ya!). Just a few words about these schmohawks, catchers are all bad, excluding about 5 guys, so there’s no reason to grab a catcher early. But, even with that said, I couldn’t lower Kendall past 10th overall. He’s just too awfully good. Also, there were no pitchers in my top 75. Again, there are so many terribly terrific pitchers, it was hard to move Carlos Silva up. Though, I really wanted to. Finally, just because someone is in my best worst fantasy baseball top 20, it doesn’t mean I absolutely hate them. Steals aren’t counted, so Bourn, Taveras, etc. Please, blog, may I have some more?
Because Casey Kotchman is most noteworthy (in my eyes) for having the longest known case of mononucleosis, it makes sense he’d be considered a sleeper. Only, not necessarily, a fantasy baseball sleeper. More like a Prince Valium one. After the trade to the Braves last year, Casey Kotchman hit 2/20/.237. “Write him off as a once interesting prospect that never reached his potential,” says some random crotchety old baseball scout. I hear ya, random old baseball crotchety scout, but I find something making me keep come back to him. Sorta like my man-wood for Alex J. Please, blog, may I have some more?