Lemonade was a popular drink and it still is, the Rangers could only get one hit against Willis.  That’s right, Dwyck.  Dontrelle Willis went six and one-third, allowing only three baserunners and K’ing five.  The Rangers came into the game hitting lefties extremely well (.291) with Kinsler at .460 and Michael Young at .372. 

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Let’s see, winner of the All-Star game gets home field advantage… The WBC… Open the season in another country… Steroids testing after letting the world believe Bret Boone was good… Finally, interleague play.  Selig, hang your legacy right next to the monkey carcass that helped spread the AIDS virus. 

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Well, that didn’t take long.  Rickie Weeks has swine flu in the wrist.  Anything negative health-wise wouldn’t surprise me with Rickie Weeks.  “Coach, Weeks got the black plague.”  “Wasn’t that only spread by rats 600 years ago?”  “Don’t know, Coach.  After Friday’s game, he was with some old broad who had snaggle teeth. 

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Ohmigod, Grey’s totally going against Rudy’s risky pitcher post?  They are so fighting.  I hope Rudy rips off Grey’s stache.  $5 says it’s not real. Uh-hum.  I can hear you, random italicized voice.  I’m actually typing you!  My bad. So, yes, Jon Lester is a risky pitcher. 

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Josh Johnson injured? That would be precedented.  He came out of the game with a weak right shoulder.  Yeah, and I have a weak pitching staff without you.  Afterwards, Johnson said, “I just don’t feel great.”  That makes two of us. 

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Okay, take off your aluminum foil cap you use to get better TV reception and put on your thinking cap because we’re going into The Land of Sabermetrics with your host, me.  Today we’re going to look at FIP.  Stands for Fielding Independent Pitching. 

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Here’s what I said last year about Mat Gamel and his comparison to Ryan Braun, “Ryan Braun, The Hebrew Hammer, hits for average, power and butchered plays at 3rd base.  Well, Gamel can slug with the best of them and plays 3rd like Jenny McCarthy in a celebrity softball game. 

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In this month’s closer look, let’s discuss some closer trading strategy.  As I mentioned the other day, I traded Street and some other closer for Haren.  This might’ve put me at a disadvantage for saves.  Now you’re probably thinking what the eff? 

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Royals prospect Luke Hochevar was called up yesterday to replace Sidney Ponson in the rotation.  But he’s Aruba’s favorite son!  You know who I feel bad for?  The Royals caterer.  With Ponson out of the rotation, who’s going to eat that side of cow he ordered? 

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So this is a fun story for you.  When I was a kid, I played 2nd base.  Was one of those pesky slap hitters that annoyed the pitchers.  I led the way for Orlando Hudson.  Call me Orlando Oldson.  At the age of twelve, I never struckout once. 

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