Who Knew? Apparently, everyone. I may have been the only one rooting for Aaron Heilman; Lou definitely was not. Well, open that window and throw Heilman out. Sean Marshall has been named the Cubs fifth starter. As I said somewhere in the comments in the last couple of days, I like whoever comes away with the 5th starter job for the Cubs. They’re gonna win games. Know what I mean, Paula Dean? But what can we actually expect from Sean Marshall? Well, let’s put it this way since we’re talking about the Cubbies. I’d prefer to have Sean Marshall on my fantasy team for where he’s going to be drafted compared to Carlos Zambrano, Ted Lilly, Rich Harden or Ryan Dempster. From Marshall, you should expect a low 4 ERA, a 1.35 WHIP and decent Ks. As with any fifth starter, Sean “Puffy” Marshall may get skipped on occasion, but he’ll also face off against lower tier starters potentially helping him with wins. Anyway, here’s what else I saw yesterday in spring training for fantasy baseball:
Chris Getz – We move over to the South Side and stay with the Chi-Town theme. Getz will be the starting 2nd baseman gig for The Pale Hose. He’ll probably bat 9th or 1st depending on the breeze that is circulating through Ozzie’s office. Unlike Marshall, I don’t get Getz. If he gets 500 ABs, maybe he reaches 7 HRs and 10 SBs. If you’re thinking those numbers look a lot like Kelly Johnson, you wouldn’t be too far off. Only Getz could hurt you in average as well as RBIs and Runs if he bats ninth. In AL-Only leagues and deep leagues, I could see you looking, but the league would need to be Cousteau deep. For what it’s worth, ZIPS likes him more giving him about 10/12 and .275 (they only gave him 393 ABs, so I’m projecting their stats up). I think you’ll be miserable if you own him. Please, blog, may I have some more?
Here at Razzball, besides doling out fantasy baseball advice, we also host a contest to field the worst fantasy baseball team. The worst fantasy baseball league signups are just about at capacity, but if you’re finding us late in the preseason, you might still be able to get in, or not. I really have no idea. That’s Rudy’s department. But I’m in one of these leagues, so I thought I’d share with you my fantasy baseball worst top 20 list. When I did my worst fantasy baseball rankings, it took far longer than for my other leagues. You literally have to change every single default ranking (except Howie Kendrick who was about 150 regularly and turned out to be about the same after reranking– there’s always one, I tell ya!). Just a few words about these schmohawks, catchers are all bad, excluding about 5 guys, so there’s no reason to grab a catcher early. But, even with that said, I couldn’t lower Kendall past 10th overall. He’s just too awfully good. Also, there were no pitchers in my top 75. Again, there are so many terribly terrific pitchers, it was hard to move Carlos Silva up. Though, I really wanted to. Finally, just because someone is in my best worst fantasy baseball top 20, it doesn’t mean I absolutely hate them. Steals aren’t counted, so Bourn, Taveras, etc. Please, blog, may I have some more?
Because Casey Kotchman is most noteworthy (in my eyes) for having the longest known case of mononucleosis, it makes sense he’d be considered a sleeper. Only, not necessarily, a fantasy baseball sleeper. More like a Prince Valium one. After the trade to the Braves last year, Casey Kotchman hit 2/20/.237. “Write him off as a once interesting prospect that never reached his potential,” says some random crotchety old baseball scout. I hear ya, random old baseball crotchety scout, but I find something making me keep come back to him. Sorta like my man-wood for Alex J. Please, blog, may I have some more?
Remember the blonde chick from the The Real World: Hawaii, who, like, totally fell for Colin? She was the cute girl with the young grandmother body. You know who I’m talking about? Cool. Yeah, she’s not Kendry Morales. Kendry Morales is the doode that the Angels are putting in as their starting 1st baseman. Joly Hesus! A prospect that is going to be playing 1st for an AL team that scores runs like an NL team! How did you miss that, right? Pretty easily. He’s sizz-ucked in his limited time in the majors. In 127 games in the Majors, he’s sitting on a career line of 12/45/.249 with no speed. If you were a Benihana chef, you’d cut the tail of those numbers and flip ‘em into your hat. So what is it that I like about Kendry Morales that makes him a 2009 fantasy sleeper? Please, blog, may I have some more?
Usually I wait until the 1st of every month to go over who’s closing where and who’s backing them up. You know, the Donkey-Corn/Brain Freeze/$12 Salad post. See, you are familiar with my work. Great, I love how you do whatever you do too. Being in the heart of fantasy baseball draft season, my diploma from The College of Fantasy Baseball at Charleston says I must do some early closer updates for 2009 fantasy baseball. I’m not going to mention guys who are completely safe as of right now. One generalization before I get to these closer schmohawks. You want anyone getting saves. Yes, you do. Trust me. You may think Lindstrom will return in 2 weeks and be fine getting 25 saves this year. You may be right. But if Leo Nunez starts the season as the closer, there’s just as good a chance that he keeps the job all year. Last year, you swore Chad Cordero would get the job back from Rauch and there was no reason to grab Big Jon. You swore Huston Street would take back the job from Ziegler. You also missed out on good closers. Anyway, here’s some closers to watch for 2009 fantasy baseball:
Matt Lindstrom – Strained rotator cuff. I would still put him on my bench because he could bounce right back. Or not…
Leo Nunez – Could easily end up with 35 saves or 5. There’s the fun! Please, blog, may I have some more?
If you’re havin’ pitching problems I feel bad for you, son… I got 99 problems but pitching ain’t one…. Check the baseline out, uh-huh… Bounce wit it to my bro Ryan’s glove, uh-huh uh-huh uh-huh, yeah… Can’t leave the hitters alone, the Nats need me… There’s a new Jay-Z in town and his name is Jordan Zimmermann. Please, blog, may I have some more?
You know what burns me up? Fire? Yes, random italicized voice, but something else too. Three weeks ago, ESPN threw out trash like this, “Hamels could be one of the top-5 starters in most leagues now that questions about his durability and moxie have passed. Please, blog, may I have some more?
If I may jump into the cavern of your noggin for a moment, you’re probably thinking, “Lastings Milledge — isn’t he that failed prospect the Mets gave up on?” Slow your roll there. He’s only 23 years old. Or maybe you’re thinking, “I could’ve sworn I remember seeing Milledge on my league’s waivers last year.” You’re right; Milledge clogged up outfields last year with non-digestible tools causing many to drop him. Through the end of July last year, Milledge was at 7 home runs, 13 steals and a .237 average. re: those numbers, They’re awful! Don’t go back and look again. You’ll go blind like the Blind Art Garfunkel on American Idol. Yet, through all of this, I still think Milledge is a 2009 fantasy sleeper. Hear’s Y as an illiterate wood right. Please, blog, may I have some more?
Then one day Jed was hopin’ he could start; and Lugo and Scrappy Doo started fallin’ apart. This is an opening for good ol’ Jed. The kind to keep those taking late MI fliers fed. Said Yawkey is the place you ought to be. So he packed up his Wii to play with Papi. Ortiz, that is. Jed Lowrie is in, Julio Lugo is out and Nomar Garciaparra is so five minutes ago. Yo, whaddup, double play pardner? Not your knee, I assume. And the Jed Lowrie fantasy sleeper post is back on like Donkey Kong. Sure, the Sox are saying Julio Lugo may only be out a month, but he was ‘healthy’ last year and he lost playing time. Do the math! Anyway, here’s some more things I saw in spring training that pertains to fantasy baseball:
Dustin Pedroia – Man, I’m telling you right now (unless you’re reading this sometime in the future. Damn you, Future Boy!) if Dustin Pedroia sheets the bed this year, I’m going to milk that carton at least once a week and twice on Moosday. During the WBC (World Backups Championship?), Pedroia came up lame due to a strained muscle near his rib cage. For those of us playing fantasy baseball that have never seen a “hitter” “hit,” strained muscles near the rib cage can cause pain when a batter swings. If Pedroia is fine fine, he bounces back with no ill effects and still hits his 15 to 18 home runs. Now what if Pedroia is not that fine fine? Say he only hits 12 to 15 home runs. Do you see what a waste of an early pick Pedroia could be? You really want a 2nd round pick that might hit 12 home runs and steals 15? Who are you, Kelly Johnson? That’s giving me The Gas Face just thinking about it. Please, blog, may I have some more?
We at Razzball realize that exporting our views across the country has damaging consequences on the blogosphere. To help make amends, we are reaching out to leading team blogs and featuring their locally blogged answers to pressing 2009 fantasy baseball questions regarding their team. Please, blog, may I have some more?