Aroldis Chapman — A-rold! — defected yesterday.  I defect every morning after I eat my bran cereal. No, random italicized voice, defected.  As in, he gave the Cuban national team the old switcheroo.  He snuck out of a Rotterdam hotel where the team was staying this week. 

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Stop the press. Who is that?  Vicki Vale?  Nope.  Ricky Romero, Ricky Romero.  Yesterday, Romero went 8 IP, 0 ER, 7 Ks with 8 baserunners.  Let’s go in the Wayback Machine… Cue dream sequence music, activate wavy screen… Here we are back on April 20th, “(Romero’s) walks are very low (for him), and he’s left a lot of guys on base, so he will see a correction in his future (SMACK!), but his FIP is only 3.86 (now at 4.20). 

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It’s fitting that both the Nats and Pirates traded for a player with ‘Last’ in his name.  Lastings Milledge was sent to the Pirates along with Joel Hanrahananan for Nyjer Morgan and Sean Burnett.  Milledge and McCutchen can now share The Dread Pirate nickname. 

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In this month’s closer look, let’s discuss trading for closers.  Now before people think my battleship has sunk, I’m not saying to pay top dollar for closers.  But with us heading into July, it should be pretty clear how badly you need saves. 

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In his last four games, J.J. Hardy has gone 8-for-17 with two homers.  You waited and waited.  Went for a dip in the ocean.  Washed ashore in Finland.  Smoked a bowl with some guy who wore only a potato sack.  Fell asleep on a raft. 

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Where do the starters exit the stadium when the game’s over because I’m a groupie for strikeout heavy pitchers, i.e., Grey’s high on a high K/9, i.e., ergo, henceforth, vis-a-vis, I’d own these starters.  Why the hearts on the notebook, Grey?

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Was talking to some friends the other day and one of them thought Ichiro Suzuki was the best all around player he had ever seen.  No, he wasn’t Asian or wearing a Buhner jersey.  He made his case — defense, cannon arm, can hit any pitch to any field, speed, etc. 

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Sometimes you just can’t trade a guy in your fantasy baseball league.  For whatever reason, the rest of the teams don’t believe in your guy.  Whether it’s someone who has been doing well who people aren’t sure if they’re for real (Ben Zobrist) or someone who has been struggling (Liriano), no one in your league will trade for them. 

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Matt Lindstrom hits the DL with a sore elbow and should be out at least 6 weeks.  He’s fine to drop if you don’t have DL room, since he may not be the closer when/if he returns.  Rudy and I were talking over IM when the news of Matt Lindstrom hitting the DL broke. 

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Brandon Webb may miss the rest of the season.  Nothing good comes from drafting a top pitcher.  Nothing, I tell you.  I own Peavy in two leagues, so I’m right there with youse.  Remind next year to revert back to not drafting starters in the first five rounds. 

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