Lemonade was a popular drink and it still is, the Rangers could only get one hit against Willis. That’s right, Dwyck. Dontrelle Willis went six and one-third, allowing only three baserunners and K’ing five. The Rangers came into the game hitting lefties extremely well (.291) with Kinsler at .460 and Michael Young at .372. So let’s all get jazzamatazzed, right? Well, I don’t hold the same excitement. His story definitely has the Lubitsch touch, but his last start was four earned in four and two-thirds against the Twins. Dontrelle’s opponents will be tough, his recent history has been extremely poor and a 5/4 K/BB is poor. There’s got to be at least a half dozen guys better on your waivers to take a chance on. Let someone else buy a ticket for the D-Train. Anyway, here’s what else I saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:
James Shields – 8 1/3 IP, 0 ER, zero run support. If only they batted Sonnanstine third…
Josh Outman – 6 IP, 4 baserunners, 0 ER, 6 Ks. His Ks are solid, but he walks too many guys and right now he’s getting a bit lucky with how many guys he’s leaving on base. Then throw in the fact that he pitches for the A’s and their A’nemic offense. Outman shouldn’t be in, man, outside of AL-Only leagues. Please, blog, may I have some more?
Let’s see, winner of the All-Star game gets home field advantage… The WBC… Open the season in another country… Steroids testing after letting the world believe Bret Boone was good… Finally, interleague play. Selig, hang your legacy right next to the monkey carcass that helped spread the AIDS virus. Well, interleague is here whether we like it or not. I don’t, but this is only partially about me. So what can we do about interleague play for fantasy baseball? Please, blog, may I have some more?
Well, that didn’t take long. Rickie Weeks has swine flu in the wrist. Anything negative health-wise wouldn’t surprise me with Rickie Weeks. “Coach, Weeks got the black plague.” “Wasn’t that only spread by rats 600 years ago?” “Don’t know, Coach. After Friday’s game, he was with some old broad who had snaggle teeth. Might’ve been that.” I wouldn’t be surprised to see this force Weeks to the DL then miss two months of the season because that’s what Weeks do. It would be too convenient for Bill Hall to go to 2nd and Gamel to fill-in at third. But offensively it would make more sense than the blahtoon of Counsell and Iribarren. Anyway, here’s what I saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:
Chris Carpenter – Returning on Wednesday. I don’t think he gets to the All-Star Break healthy. If you have Carpenter, you might think about hammering out a deal. (<–Pun!)
Koji Uehara – 5 IP, 4 ER. I still believe he’ll be better going forward than most doodes that are on waivers. Please, blog, may I have some more?
Ohmigod, Grey’s totally going against Rudy’s risky pitcher post? They are so fighting. I hope Rudy rips off Grey’s stache. $5 says it’s not real. Uh-hum. I can hear you, random italicized voice. I’m actually typing you! My bad. So, yes, Jon Lester is a risky pitcher. But at this point, he’s also a buy. His ERA’s 6.31. That’s ridunkiculous from where it should be. He’s pitching well (minus some ill-timed long balls), tremendous K-rate, solid walk rate. A pitcher who is pitching well and has a 6.31 ERA is such a crazy buy, that I wouldn’t be surprised if his owners weren’t even selling. But, on the other hand, they’re smarting from his earned runs. They may see LaTroy Hawkins or Jason Bartlett and be like, “Hey, Lester’s killing me, why not take a guy that at least has been good?” That’s why you prey on those suckas. This is why you have brass balls and you just chucked one at your mean lady neighbor who keeps bugging you when you turn the Dropkick Murphys to eleven and put it on repeat. I’m a sailor peg!!! And I lost my leg!!! I love that song. Wait, what was I saying? Oh, yeah. Lester — get him, within reason. Anyway, here’s some more players to Buy and Sell this week in fantasy baseball:
Justin Duchscherer – If he’s on waivers and you can stash him on your DL, stash away. Please, blog, may I have some more?
Josh Johnson injured? That would be precedented. He came out of the game with a weak right shoulder. Yeah, and I have a weak pitching staff without you. Afterwards, Johnson said, “I just don’t feel great.” That makes two of us. Pitchers are always more prone to injuries than hitters and Johnson embodies that. Or maybe he disembodies it. Either way, this is bad news. Hopefully, he caught the problem soon enough and won’t miss too much time. I have a sinking feeling he’s headed for further bad news. Anyway, here’s what else I saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:
Chris Davis – Hit the game winning homer. After the game, here’s what CJ Wilson said on Twitter, “Rangers are crazy powerful in the late innings. Please, blog, may I have some more?
Okay, take off your aluminum foil cap you use to get better TV reception and put on your thinking cap because we’re going into The Land of Sabermetrics with your host, me. Today we’re going to look at FIP. Stands for Fielding Independent Pitching. It’s basically ERA without those pesky fielders helping or hurting you. It’s a pure ERA. It’s like when you go to the Supercuts and then you don’t want to shower because you’ll never get your hair styled again like Jeffrey does it. It’s your hair right after Jeffrey styles it and before you wash it. That’s FIP. Okay, so let’s take a Exhibit A pitcher who has an ERA of 2.75 but his FIP is a 6.75. A -4.00 difference. That means he’s been very lucky and there’s a good chance his ERA is going to go way up. So here’s a list of pitchers with the biggest difference between their actual ERAs and their FIPs. Please, blog, may I have some more?
Here’s what I said last year about Mat Gamel and his comparison to Ryan Braun, “Ryan Braun, The Hebrew Hammer, hits for average, power and butchered plays at 3rd base. Well, Gamel can slug with the best of them and plays 3rd like Jenny McCarthy in a celebrity softball game. Not to mention, his name is almost Gimel, which is the third letter of the Hebrew alphabet. The similarities are endless!” And that’s me quoting me! Wanna really blow your mind? I wrote a Mat Gamel fantasy baseball outlook post back in December of last year. Prescient ain’t just a word I can’t spell without Dictionary.com, it’s a state of mind! So what can we expect of him, he’s better than Nolan Reimold. Right now. He can hit. I could even see grabbing him in ten team leagues. He could be The Difference Maker (which would be a great name for a professional wrestler). The only thing holding Gamel back is he fields like he has two left feet — on the end of his arms. If the Brewers dare to play him every day over their blahtoon of Hall and Counsell, you should play him too. Anyway, here’s what else I saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:
Ryan Ludwick – To the DL. “Hello, Rasmus.” “Hey, Duncan, you wanna play every day?” “Sure.”
Gerardo Parra – This one doesn’t walk people, he runs. He replaced Krispie last night and might spell Byrnes on some occasions. He’s a solid pickup for the speed deprived. Parra’s upside is what Maybin should’ve done — 5 homers, 25 steals. He shouldn’t be a liability on average. Obviously, picking him up depends on your league, but he should be grabbed in all NL-Only leagues and mixed leagues deeper than 12 teams. Please, blog, may I have some more?
In this month’s closer look, let’s discuss some closer trading strategy. As I mentioned the other day, I traded Street and some other closer for Haren. This might’ve put me at a disadvantage for saves. Now you’re probably thinking what the eff? This doode doesn’t even know who he traded or if it put his team at a disadvantage for saves. Well, that’s the whole point. Saves are the easiest commodity to acquire on waivers. Just last month, 10 closers lost their jobs, even if just temporarily. 10 out of 30 closers. So, frankly, I don’t care if I’m trading Qualls, Bell or schmohawk closer behind door number 3. Are some of these guys more reliable than others? Sure, but that doesn’t mean Jenks couldn’t have a meltdown tomorrow. They’re just closers. As for not knowing if I’m at a disadvantage, it’s real early and plenty more saves will come into the league. Not that many more Harens are coming into the league. Anyway, here’s all of the closers for your fantasy baseball team, as of right now:
You know that restaurant your girlfriend/wife/what-have-you likes to go to that charges, like, $12 for a salad? Please, blog, may I have some more?
Royals prospect Luke Hochevar was called up yesterday to replace Sidney Ponson in the rotation. But he’s Aruba’s favorite son! You know who I feel bad for? The Royals caterer. With Ponson out of the rotation, who’s going to eat that side of cow he ordered? Hochevar has been lights out so far in the minors with a .90 ERA, .95 WHIP and 5-0. His 30 Ks in 40 innings is solid, not quite crazysexycool. He doesn’t seem like the kind of pitcher that is going to dominate like, say, a Volquez last year. Fortunately, he’s cut his walks this year. As I said with Cecil two weeks ago, you pickup Hochevar to see if dominates. Cause if he does dominate, people will start going gaga goo-goo for him and then you can flip him. Or you take the rookie pitcher’s thunder, slide it next to your lightning and make it rain. Anyway, here’s what else I saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:
Joakim Soria – Went to the DL. Juan Cruz will fill-in mostly, with Jamey Wright maybe seeing the occasional chance. You’re thinking, I’m not bothering with Cruz, Soria will come back and be fine. Who cares if he comes back and he’s fine? Cruz may take the job and hold it for the next two months while accumulating 15 saves. Or maybe Soria returns fine in a week. All I know is Soria has said his sore shoulder dates back to WBC (Nice, Selig!) so maybe he doesn’t recover that quickly. Add Cruz, ask questions later. Please, blog, may I have some more?
So this is a fun story for you. When I was a kid, I played 2nd base. Was one of those pesky slap hitters that annoyed the pitchers. I led the way for Orlando Hudson. Call me Orlando Oldson. At the age of twelve, I never struckout once. All season. That’s how Oldson did. Then when I turned thirteen, I sucked. I couldn’t hit the broadside of a barn. If they didn’t have to play every kid, I would’ve never seen any PT. At one point, I had a friend promise to throw the ball right down the middle just so I could get one hit for the year. And that was what I finished with. One hit. So wha’ happened? Where did Oldson disappear to? Well, going into that year, I discovered girls. And all of their fleshy parts. But I also needed glasses. Who was I? Chris Sabo? Chris Sabo got laid once. And he paid for it. So I took the easy way out and never wore my glasses. My baseball career paid for it big time. But I touched a boob! This brings me to Brian McCann. He’s supposed to be returning. Stat, doc. You know what catchers need? Rest. You know what McCann’s had a lot of? Mmm-hmm. See where I’m going with this? Of course you do. You gots smarts! So McCann had a terrible first month of April. Tizz-errible. Well, he couldn’t see like Oldson and his luck (BABIP) was in the shizzer too. Now as long as he’s not embarrassed to wear glasses around Frenchy, he should be fine. So potatoes to chips, he’s still a guy that can hit 20 HRs and bat .290. Buy, snitches! Anyway, here’s some more players to buy and sell this week in fantasy baseball:
Josh Whitesell – Starting the Buys with a -Sell? Oh, Grey! Please, blog, may I have some more?