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Aaron Hill and John McDonald were traded to the Diamondbacks for Kelly Johnson.  Regarding the title, each team got to 2nd base with the other.  Nothing to brag about, nothing for the rest of us to get jealous over.  I guess this is what happens when Alex Anthopoulos and Kevin Towers lock themselves in a closet for 7 minutes of trading heaven.  “Can you throw in J.P. Arencibia?”  “What kind of GM do you think I am?”  Maybe Florida and Seattle will trade John Buck for Miguel Olivo.    I’ll trade you this tomato.  Okay, I’ll trade you a tomahto.  Deal.  Sure, I’m taking an extra h on the payroll, but it’s worth it to get that shorter vowel sound into our lineup.  You say tomato, I say tomahto, let’s call the whole deal….on!  This proves one thing, without a doubt, neither team owned Hill or Johnson in fantasy this year.  If this trade happened in one of your fantasy leagues, you’d just be glad you weren’t one of the teams doing the trading.  Neither player is guaranteed to get a boost with the trade and either player could get knocked out of their slump with the new scenery.  Anyway, here’s what else I saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:

Matt Holliday – Monday night he had to have a trainer remove a moth from his ear.  They should try and put a moth in Zambrano’s ear.  Maybe they’ll find a bat.

Alex Rodriguez – Out of yesterday’s lineup with a jammed thumb.  Thumb up the jam, thumb it up while your feet are stompin’ and the jam is pumpin’, look here the crowd is jumpin’.  Sorry, once I start that it’s hard to stop.

Ryan Howard – Out with heel bursitis and the Phils are officially in cruise control mode.  Speaking of which…

Cole Hamels – Reports are that he’s absolutely fine for next week’s start so the Phils put him on the DL in media res.  I’m a broken record with this, if the kids today even know what a record is or what it means to be broken, but how come there’s no rules that you can’t put healthy people on the DL.  Seems like a shortcut at expanding the roster that shouldn’t be allowed.  Now get off my lawn, kid!

Vance Worley – 7 IP, 1 ER, 6 baserunners, 9 Ks.  Fair enough, I wouldn’t care about DL’ing healthy Hamels with this kind of depth either.

Raul Ibanez – Received an injection for a sore groin.  Sounds like a line a doctor would deliver in a porn movie.

John Mayberry – 2-for-3, 3 RBIs and now has three homers in the last five games.  Even when Ibanez’s groin is better (something you don’t read every day), Mayberry should be starting.  That’s not saying he will be.  In the meanwhile, I would add Mayberry in most leagues while he’s hitting-slash-playing-slash-I just like saying slash.

Colby Rasmus – Left the game with a jammed wrist.  Somewhere, Tony La Russa’s laughing like Nelson Muntz.

Brandon Morrow – 4 2/3 IP, 6 ER, 12 baserunners, 5 Ks vs. the Royals.  FMFBBL

Shin-Soo Choo – 4-for-8, 2 homers in the doubleheader and his 3rd homer in three days as he bats over .400 since his return from the DL.  He’s hotter than a kimchi burrito in Megan Fox’s hand.

Kosuke Fukudome – 5-for-8 with a homer.  He’s on my opponent’s H2H team and said Fukutome.

Kyle Seager – 6-for-9 and a homer in the doubleheader.  Be a good time to mention that the starters in the second game were both peg boys.  Either way, Seager has 2 homers in the last five games, but didn’t show much power in the high minors.  I’d let Seager go.  Like a rock.

Marco Estrada – 7 IP, 2 ER, 7 baserunners, 2 Ks.  He bounced up and down the minors for so long it was like teams were playing Marco…Yo-Yo…  But if you need to take a flyer, he’s a hot hand.

Casey McGehee – Two for his last nine with two homers.  This guy’s like Rich Little impersonating Rob Deer.  And there goes our 18-35 demographic.

Justin Upton – Hit on the elbow by a pitch and left the game.  It’s said to not be too bad.  This is a day after B.J. went down with a shoulder sprain.  Aren’t these things only supposed to happen to twins?

Brandon Allen – 2-for-4 with 2 monster shots.  As frequent commenter, nyydj2 said yesterday, “Brandon Allen just put a monster shot into the upper deck at Yankee Stadium, only the second ball to reach there since it opened. Branyan hit the other…. Which isn’t quite the same as ‘where only Mickey Mantle has ever reached.’”

Logan Morrison – With a .167 average and one homer in Triple-A, the Marlins had seen enough and are recalling Morrison.  Couldn’t they just have easily put a bar of soap in his mouth while he tweeted?  If Morrison was dropped in your league, I’d take a chance that he comes back looking to prove something.  One thing to prove, for instance, that Hanley shouldn’t run the ball club.

Leo Nunez – 2/3 IP, 4 ER and the epic blown save.  This is the kind blown save that makes managers try out Edward Mujica as their closer.  Also, remember Nunez was funky as in bad not funky as in good at the end of last season.

Ross Ohlendorf – 5 IP, 4 ER.  Might want to consider returning to making straight-to-video classics like ‘Dorf on Golf.

Adrian Gonzalez – 3-for-4, 3 runs, 3 RBIs and 2 homers.  A-gone-gone a-bout time-time.

Eric Hosmer – 3-for-5, with the slam & legs.  In only 385 at-bats so far, he has 11 homers and 7 steals.  This is at the age of 21.  I.e. big things.  I.e. there stands for I expect.

Tommy Hanson – Quite the surprise; Hanson’s bullpen session was cancelled a day after he said his shoulder was fine.  Yup.

Jason Heyward – 3-for-4, 4 RBIs and a homer as he fills in for Constanza…Or was Constanza filling in for him?  This is the most confusing re-imagining of All About Eve.

Jimmy Paredes – 1-for-4 and a homer.  The power may stop when he leaves Coors, but he’s worth a flyer for speed in deep leagues.

Aramis Ramirez – 5-for-5 with a double and 4 singles to match David Eckstein’s best game.

Kevin Kouzmanoff – Was acquired by the Rockies for cash.  “Here’s a McDonaldland coupon for two apple pies.  You can CONSIDER it as cash.”

David Price – 8 IP, 2 ER, 8 baserunners, 6 Ks as Price got topped by Penny to lose the Showcase Showdown.

Desmond Jennings – 3-for-5 with a caught stealing.  Not cute moving the base 91 feet away.  Not cute at all.

Colby Lewis – 6 IP, 7 ER.  Hopefully Vogelsong doesn’t take this guy’s career trajectory two years removed from Japan.

Alfredo Simon – 8 IP, 1 ER, 4 baserunners, 8 Ks and, better still, he didn’t kill anyone.

Adam Jones – Was hospitalized with shortness of breath and mild chest pains.  Sounds like me after a weekend in Vegas.  Early tests say Jones will be fine.

Rod Barajas – 3-for-5, 4 RBIs and now has 3 homers since last Friday.  Aye carambarajas!

Lucas Duda – 1-for-4, homer.  Know one way to stay hot while unattractive in mixed leagues?  Go 1-for-4 with a homer every couple of games.

Jon Niese – To the DL with a rib strain.  After giving up 8 runs, it’s more like the Phils gave him an RBI strain.

Jose Reyes – Set to return Monday.  Though the Mets didn’t say which Monday.  Very tricky, Mets, very tricky.

Angel Pagan – Almost went to the DL because of stomach pains during Monday’s game.  “You’re hitting out of the two hole.  Hitting!”

66 Responses

  1. jsp2014 says:
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    Speaking of kimchi burrito, next time you are in NY you must try korilla bbq (www.korillabbq.com). They are on the great food truck race now. I’ve noticed you like cooking shows (can you believe Jennifer won Masterchef? That’s like Jhonny Peralta winning the MVP. Sure, she’s ok but winner? Really?).

  2. jsp2014 says:
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    I forgot to mention that the korilla is a portmanteau of Korean and something else, much like yawnstipating. Plus 5 Grey points!

  3. Mr2Bits says:
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    I just spit my coffee on my computer with the Pagan link

  4. Dan says:
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    No mention of Choo? Looking pretty good again.

  5. MrHappyTime says:
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    Bourjos, Constanza, or Blanks for the rest of season? Rank em if you would sir. Thanks!

  6. Dingo says:
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    I just dropped Niese for Mujica. I’ve been looking forward to saying this for the past few weeks:

    “No more Mr. Niese Guy.”

  7. Salty Balty says:
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    Start Stauffer @ SF tonight?

  8. ichirosan says:
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    Simon DID kill someone… my Razzball Team :|

  9. Hi Grey. Two-part question here:

    –I have Scherzer in both a 14- and 20-team roto league where I’m right on pace for innings. Should I start him tonight @TB? He’s been pitching better lately, he’s done well against TB in the last, and he gets his share of Ks. But his ERA is still almost 2 runs worse on the road.

    –Also, would you drop either Robot Jones or Brandon Allen for Kyle Banks?

    Many thanks!

  10. Grey

    Grey says:
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    @jsp2014: Did see that on the truck race… They’re actually opening a brick and mortar place in LA. Not sure when. I really liked Masterchef, but was disappointed the winner. Seemed to come down to the dessert, but hers was so easy.

    @Mr2Bits: Ha

    @Dan: Read the post.

    @MrHappyTime: Bourjos, Blanks…

    @Dingo: Ha!

    @Salty Balty: Yup

    @ichirosan: Ha!

    @Enrique: Start Scherzer… Hold…

  11. MattW says:
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    @Grey:

    H2H redraft league, 12 team, 6×6
    His Ethier and F-Her for my stud Kemp

    Thoughts?

  12. Grey — have there been some problems with the Razzball server? Or is it something on my computer?

    In recent days I haven’t been able to load the site once and have had to try multiple times to load comments on a few occasions.

    I know from experience that figuring out bugs on a web site can be a pain in the #!&*@ … so if that’s what it is, good luck.

  13. Grey

    Grey says:
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    @MattW: I’d want Kemp.

    @Enrique: Actually, we have to move to a better server in the next couple of days because of the problems we’ve been having. So, yeah, it’s us. Sorry…

  14. lou says:
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    Heath Bell claimed by Giants, what do?

  15. lou says:
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    Heath Bell claimed by Giants, who’s the closer gonna be in SD?

  16. Grey

    Grey says:
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    @lou: Bell unless Wilson’s really hurt. If Bell does leave, probably Qualls.

  17. Awesomus Maximus

    Awesomus Maximus says:
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    Funny you should mention Megan Fox’s hand; I’ve been skeeved by her toe-thumbs for a long time now. Seems I’m not the only one, as Motorola found it so heinous, they hired a thumb-double for their Super Bowl commercial featuring her:

    http://bit.ly/ePqL7u

  18. Grey

    Grey says:
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    @Awesomus Maximus: You can’t ruin her for me. I’d take her thumb and like it.

  19. trimmerman says:
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    grey, who will help me out more in the h2h playoffs, lomo, rasmus, or blanks as a dark horse?

  20. Grey

    Grey says:
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    @trimmerman: Morrison

  21. Feeding the Abscess

    Feeding the Abscess says:
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    Why does Jim Tracy hate Chris Iannetta? Facing a LHP. At home. And he’s not playing! He’s only played two days in a row!

    Seriously. Iannetta is OPSing over 1.000 at home, and almost .950 against LHP. This isn’t hard.

  22. trimmerman says:
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    should I trust parnell? or should I buy into vinnie pestano or mikey adams? I’ve got Putz and Bailey, so I’m at ease if any of them are at a level close to that tier ROS…

  23. Awesomus Maximus

    Awesomus Maximus says:
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    @Grey: But would you take her thumb? Sucker’s got girth!

    Speaking of… between Hanley, Ubaldo, Soria, Nunez, and now Greinke, I’m getting screwed by so many ball players, I should really change my team name to “Alyssa Milano.”

  24. anon says:
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    I have a theory on Adam Dunn.. Is it possible his power was stored in his appendix?

  25. Grey

    Grey says:
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    @anon: Holy crap, you’re right!

  26. Awesomus Maximus

    Awesomus Maximus says:
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    Who you got in the big game tonight? I’m taking Ev/Gollum and Leroy/Mike-Mike.

  27. Feeding the Abscess

    Feeding the Abscess says:
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    Dunn should take notes from Berkman and get his weight under 300 pounds. He can still hit baseballs a mile while weighing 260 pounds, and there’d be a lot less of him to move around at the plate/basepaths/in the field. If he doesn’t show up next season in awesome shape, it’ll be obvious that he simply doesn’t give a crap.

  28. Awesomus Maximus

    Awesomus Maximus says:
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    @Grey: Quicker than… when? Seems about the same as usual (header, left column and content load well… right column causes a log jam).

  29. Grey

    Grey says:
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    @Awesomus Maximus: Golum and Wes/Mr. Wonderful. Won’t be watching it tonight though so watch spoilers.

    @Feeding the Abscess: I’m not sure Dunn knows what awesome shape looks like, and not sure it matters. He’s in the Thome mold.

  30. JobaDoesntRule says:
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    12 teamer with decent pitching on the wire. Hughes and Nova are both available and I have Pineda and Vazquez as my weakest links. Based on your belief in Hughes, I think Vazquez for him is a lock. Agreed? But should I drop Pineda for Nova or wait and see? Playoffs are three weeks away for me.

  31. Grey

    Grey says:
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    @Awesomus Maximus: Gotcha…Was trying a plugin to speed things up. Websites suck.

  32. Chinaski says:
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    Hey Grey,

    Morrison or Heyward short term? I tend to give Heyward a chance after his multi hit game including a granny. What do you think?

    Thanks

  33. chata says:
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    @Grey:

    nice job on getting the reply arrow up and working again .

    to pry :
    a) what was the cheapest feel that you ever gave …(please don’t let it be
    the old have your buddy push you into a girl trick) ?
    b) what was the cheapest/most surprising feel that you ever received ,
    and did you squeal out loud ?
    c)

    and of course , you remember the old “yadda3 , then why is a ram in the
    ass called a goose” ?!

  34. chata says:
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    @Grey:

    have been secretly using jose lopez as a cheap source of power , lately .
    can’t say that he’s been disappointing , so if you want to chide , go ahead .

  35. Oilcan Giuseppe says:
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    Grey:10 team 8×8….Carp or Lomo?

  36. Marty Funkhouser says:
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    @Grey:

    Need help deciding on two 8 teamer streamers (kinda like normal streamers, but much easier on the eyes) for this week. Choices are: Hughes vs. OAK, Collmenter @ SD, Danks @ SEA, Luebke @ ARI, and Colby Lewis vs. LAA.

    I’m leaning toward Hughes and Lewis but Hughes got lit up the last time he faced Oakland and Lewis looked like creamed crap last night (but that was against the Red Sox and he starts the last game of the week so he’d really just be insurance).

  37. Oilcan Giuseppe says:
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    @Oilcan Giuseppe: Tabata,Carp or Lomo?

  38. chata says:
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    play at the plate on ortiz shows why napoli probably shouldn’t
    be catching at the major league level .
    chicken-shizz .

  39. Steve says:
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    C’mon Ricky Ro’! It’s the Royals!

  40. Oilcan Giuseppe says:
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    couple of tough to believe stats….

    most runs scored in the NL since Allstar break?….Padres.

    most RBI’s in AL since break?….Mr. Moobs

  41. Grey

    Grey says:
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    @chata: Whatever gets his bat in the lineup.

    @Steve: Seriously

    @Oilcan Giuseppe: Not that surprising, he tends to turn it on in the 2nd half. At least he has in the past.

  42. Oilcan Giuseppe says:
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    @Grey: yeah,youre right.I guess I just have low expectations for him.

  43. AL KOHOLIC says:
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    moobs?

  44. Steve says:
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    @AL KOHOLIC: Billy Butler

  45. Oilcan Giuseppe says:
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    HR for Napoli….now I forgive him for dropping that ball earlier and letting Ortiz score.

  46. Steve says:
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    Of all the problems Ricky Ro’ could have, I’d never have thought that being unable to get Alex Gordon out would be one of them.

  47. AL KOHOLIC says:
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    @Steve: cool,he has been nice for me this year,doing the rcl football draft with doc and the gang in 20 minutes,havent studied much,those guys might tear me up,thier sharp,got pick 11 to

  48. Steve says:
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    @Grey: Indeed. Still, can’t really complain too much about what he’s dished up lately.

    @AL KOHOLIC: Good luck. I wouldn’t know who to take with pick 1, let alone 11.

  49. Steve says:
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    That’s an inning too late, Lawrie. #nahbuddy

  50. AL KOHOLIC says:
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    @Steve: damn and i have greshan
    m picking next to me,at 12 then 13 in a snake draft,i better get out the tequilla

  51. Eddy says:
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    I don’t ever brag.

    But I’m going to make an exception tonight as I reveal my offensive stats for a 12-team H2H league I’m in.

    11 runs/ 7 HR/ 17 RBI/ 1 SB/ .523 AVG

    GEEZUS.

  52. Oilcan Giuseppe says:
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    damn it Crawford….sonavabench.

  53. Grey

    Grey says:
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    @Steve: Ha!

    @Eddy: Well, nice. I need one of those four of those days in my H2H.

    @Oilcan Giuseppe: Wow, you bench Crawford?

  54. Oilcan Giuseppe says:
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    @Grey: my OF/UTL consists of Braun,Gordon,Bossman,Morse and Carp….no,I dont usually bench Crawford,but he’s hitting one something against lefties.Ive probably only benched maybe ten times all yr,and twice now he had huge games.Probably just one of those cases of trying to outsmart myself or whatever.

  55. chata says:
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    @Grey:

    dropped coco crips last night .

    dimweed .

  56. Feeding the Abscess

    Feeding the Abscess says:
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    Blech, I was looking forward to a two start week for Magic next week. Instead he gets a second start… in Texas. On short rest. I’m in a weekly league. Oof.

    Maybe he’ll still get Minnesota next week to make up for it.

    Hopefully Choo doesn’t have an oblique injury. He’ll commit seppuku if much more goes wrong this season.

  57. Wilsonian says:
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    Carlosly just dropped in my 16 Teamer. Would you drop Moreland or Carp for him? Or steer clear?

  58. Wilsonian says:
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    What about Jaime Garcia? Take a flyer on him in a 16 Teamer? Or stay the hell away?

  59. aj says:
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    14 team 5×5 roto league. I get three keepers. who do you keep?
    tex, logoria, weaver, hamilton, pense

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