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My dinner with Andre is over as Andre Ethier has called it kaput on his season.  It wasn’t from a lack of trying, I’ll tell ya that.  “Hey, I just want to say how much it means to me to try to help this team win even though I shouldn’t be playing.  This is my job, and I take my job very seriously, even if means I may never walk again because I’m playing when I shouldn’t be.  I will not sit, no matter what!  Unless someone asks me to sit because they realize I shouldn’t be playing.”  Andre encapsulates today’s athlete perfectly.  Team first, as long the player is okay putting team first.  For whatever reason, I wouldn’t be surprised to see Ethier overdrafted again next year.  People just can’t get enough of his 20 homer, no steal fantasy value.  Anyway, here’s what else I saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:

Dee Gordon – 4-for-5 with his 17th steal.  He’ll be in this afternoon’s Buy/Sell.  Seems like a no-brainer, which is my specialty.

Juan Rivera – 2-for-4, 4 RBIs.  He now has 32 RBIs in 45 games with the Dodgers.  Note to self:  Use Juan Rivera at a later date to show how arbitrary RBIs are.

Chad Billingsley – 2 1/3 IP, 4 ER.  If he was a dangling Chad on your team, punch him out.

Vladimir Guerrero – 3-for-5 with his 12th homer.  After the game, he had vodka with coffee liqueur while arguing with Mark Reynolds about who was the best cosmonaut.

Chris Davis – 3-for-4.  This comes after an 0-for-10 stretch with 7 Ks.  He reminds me a bit of me at this bar the other night.  There was a point when I actually said the line, “What’s your man got to do with me?”  They don’t call me the Fantasy Master Lothario — or FML — for nothing.

Eric Chavez – 2-for-4, 2 RBIs.  When Chavez goes up to bat, the song that plays is “I Suck, Sucker,” which I wrote and sang for him.

Craig Schwinden – 5 IP, 5 ER.  In the first row at Metco was Kim Basinger, she’s a total Babraham Lincoln… Schwinden!

Jason Bay – 2-for-4 with a grand slam in the first game of the doubleheader; 1-for-2 with a steal in the 2nd.  He now has three homers in the last week.  This will help the Mets, who are preparing a video of his week’s exploits with Joe Esposito’s You’re the Best playing in the background, which they will ship around to perspective trade partners in the offseason.

Mike Minor – 5 IP, 4 ER, 8 baserunners, 2 Ks and the conshellation prize.  Damn, really could used a 6 IP, 0 ER start from him, and, as always, this is all about me.

Julio Teheran – 5 1/3 IP, 1 ER, 7 baserunners, 3 Ks.  He’s gonna be good, but this was no indication of that.  The Mets and Braves both looked like they just got done playing a previous game, which they did.

Brent Morel – 2-for-4, 4 RBIs and 2 homers.  You fancy mushroom!

Brent Lillibridge – Sticking with the Brent theme, Lillibridge was hit by a pitch that broke his hand.  He should’ve aqueduct’d.

Ian Kennedy – 7 2/3 IP, 1 ER, 7 baserunners, 11 Ks, improving his record to 19-4.  Joe Kennedy would’ve been proud, then bought him an election.

Paul Goldschmidt – 2-for-4 with his 7th homer.  He’s still struggling to maintain a decent average with all the Ks, but he has two homers in the last week.

Rickie Weeks – The Brewers activated Weeks from the 15-day DL that he was on for over a month.  15-day DL, “You exploit my generosity!”

Andrew Miller – 5 IP, 5 ER, 10 baserunners, 3 Ks.  I wonder who’s gonna be bumped from the Sawx rotation for the playoffs.  I mean, I have an idea.  Be weird if it’s Miller after Francona earlier in the year said, “Obviously, [Miller] is a huge part of our organization, and it’s going to stay that way.  He’s not going anywhere.”  Maybe he’ll say he was putting air quotes around his statement.

Colby Rasmus – Took live batting practice and should be good to go by early next week.  I’ve marked my I Couldn’t Care Less calendar.  We now wait.

Edwin Encarnacion – 2-for-4 with a homer.  I got a letter recently from one of our incarcerated readers, it went like this, “I don’t think you’ve given enough attention to Encarnacion.  He’s hitting the cover off the ball just as well as anyone else in the major leagues or the penal circuit.  By the way, you puta?  Yours, Boo-Boo.”

J.P. Arencibia – Hit his 22nd homer yesterday.  A catcher with power and a low average?  Oh, he’s definitely gonna be on multiple teams of mine next year.  That’s right, I’m thinking about my 2012 draft already.  Sleep on me, that pillow is where your head’ll lie.  Permanently, snitch, it’s beddy-bye, Eminem.

Ricky Romero – 6 2/3 IP, 3 ER, 8 baserunners, 7 Ks.  Could I make R.R. Cool Jay (see resemblance to the rapper (actor?)) a starter on some of my mixed teams in 2012?  I’m contemplating it.  AL East be damned!

Chris Narveson – 5 2/3 IP, 6 ER, 9 baserunners, 2 Ks.  He was good in this game, until he wasn’t.  Snap in the inverted W formation!

Cole Hamels – 9 IP, 2 ER, 6 baserunners, 2 Ks.  Season ERA is 2.60 and WHIP is 0.95.  Phillies are gonna be tough to beat in the playoffs.  Cust kayin’.

Chase Utley – Will sit out this weekend with what is being deemed a mild concussion.  I got one thing to relay about mild concussions… Justin Morneau called and said, “How come I’m wearing my mittens on my feet?”

  1. TheNewGuy says:
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    In major need of extra K’s and Wins. E-Jax worth a start today against the Braves? Or is his recent hot streak a mirage i.e. hot schmotato.

  2. Steve says:
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    Minor’s win was a major help in my H2H playoff matchup.

  3. Carney says:
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    Carrying four outfielders going into the second round of the playoffs. Probably want the extra spot for an SP, so would need to drop Torii Hunter or Adam Jones. Given Jones recent struggles is he the one to go?

  4. ichirosan says:
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    20 man H2H league, considering picking up Miley. Based on their next matchup, who should I drop? Moscoso or Hochevar?

  5. ichirosan says:
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    Forgot to mention, Moscoso goes vs LAA, Hochevar vs CHW

  6. Hi Grey — What’s your best-case scenario for Grady Sizemore ROS? I thought I was being clever to stash him on the DL. Now I’ve had to activate him (though I haven’t started him yet) and he’s hitless so far and looked out of his depth in the two at-bats I’ve seen.

    If I drop him I’d use the spot for the hot bat du jour or a streaming pitcher. I’m in a scrum of teams battling for third to sixth in a 20-team league with payouts for the top three. I can use all the help I can get.

    Thanks!

  7. Oh, and a Jesus Montero question. So far he’s only started against LHP, though he hit his two dingers the other day off of Jim Johnson, a (fairly unimpressive) righty. Do you think he’ll start starting against RHP soon?

  8. ichirosan says:
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    @ichirosan: Whoops, counted one extra game. Hochevar gets MIN. I guess it’s Moscoso then.

  9. Tony says:
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    grey- how are all your teams doing this year?

  10. chunk says:
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    12 team 5×5 h2h weekly playoffs, had bye this week, looking who to play next week….

    Andrus or Dee Gordon?

    Zimmerman or one of Encarnacion/S. Sizemore/Hannahan/Viciedo?

    And 3 of these 5: Morse, Fowler, Hosmer, Presley, Murphy

    Thanks grey!

  11. Steve Stevenson says:
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    Better Utley replacement in H2H semis – Lawrie with 5 games or Kipnis with 6? Also, if Swisher ends up missing games with this mystery injury, replace with Torii Hunter or David Murphy (actually, is one of them a better option even if Swisher’s not hurt)?

  12. Grey

    Grey says:
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    @TheNewGuy: http://razzball.com/borderline-fantasy-baseball-starters-week-23-24/

    @Steve: Nice

    @Carney: Jones

    @ichirosan: http://razzball.com/borderline-fantasy-baseball-starters-week-23-24/

    @Diamond, The Fantasy Baseball Pick-up Artist: Sorry, D. You’re right.

    @Enrique: 2 homers and a .250 average.

    @Enrique: Nope

    @Tony: Two first place teams and two blech teams and a couple in the middle. We’re walking away with the CBS expert league pretty easily, hasn’t been close since May.

    @chunk: Gordon….Encarnacion…Murphy, Fowler, Hosmer…

    @Steve Stevenson: Lawrie… Murphy…

  13. Howard says:
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    @Grey I went back and read an article from February on how to win your Roto league. I’m in some pretty tight races and wanted to see where I stand. Thanks for that!

    http://razzball.com/2011/02/page/6/

  14. The Situation says:
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    @Grey: This probably would’ve been better posted in your broderline starters column, but thoughts on Randy Wells tomorrow @NYM? Do you prefer the other guys you listed?

  15. zombie says:
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    Would injury concerns cause you to drop either of Kipnis or Swisher for Murphy, Bay, or a seemingly healthy for the moment Glass Chipper? Thank you kindly.

  16. black love says:
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    Hey so I have Kemp facing Lincecum tonight. Hes been pretty bad against him hitting .192 with only 1 rbi in 26ABs.
    Is it crazy to sit Kemp for a hot bat like JBay?

  17. Eddy says:
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    @Grey:

    My league mates and I have created a term a while ago for pitchers who pitch superb in the first 4-5 innings then violently explode — Narveson’d.

    He clearly showed he why he was the king of that last night.

    One hit through 5 IP and BAM! 6 ER.

  18. Grey

    Grey says:
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    @Howard: Cool

    @The Situation: I prefer guys I listed. Don’t fully trust Wells.

    @zombie: Murphy and Bay…

    @black love: Not crazy

    @Eddy: Not bad, but is he known for that or was it just last night?

  19. Wake Up says:
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    McCarthy: rattled like, oh I think I hear a dinner bell, it must be time for a delicious dinner? Or rattled like, oh snap, I think that was a Texas rattlesnake that just bit your ankle. Why the hell didn’t you wear your cowboy boots you city-slicking jackass? You made us stop on the highway so you could buy the stupid things. Then you made me try the deep fried butter sticks by the railroad tracks which quickly ran train on my GI tract. So, in short, put the ridiculous boots on since it’s too late to return them? Or just wait it out in the restroom with a stomach ache?

  20. Grey

    Grey says:
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    @Wake Up: Wait it out in the restroom.

  21. Grey

    Grey says:
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    ****THERE’S A NEW POST FOR FOLLOWUPS.*****

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