The Disgraceful List claimed two more yesterday, Josh Beckett and Grady Sizemore. Neither is a big surprise. Closest Grady Sizemore came to taking off this year was in his amateur Playgirl shoot. Even when he hit a home run, the rain washed it away. The Indians are talking about knee surgery for Grady. Turns out Tom Sizemore isn’t the only Sizemore with a joint problem. I’d DL Sizemore until more news surfaces, but, if recent history is any indication, new news (stutter much?) will be bad news. As for Josh Beckett, I’m more optimistic. He can miss a few weeks, put this back injury behind him (literally!) and return. Will he be effective on his return? What, I’m Nostradumbass? I don’t know, but it’s possible he has a decent half season. I wouldn’t trade for him, but I would pick him up off waivers and stash him. Anyway, here’s what else I saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:
Psyche! Before I jump into the roundup, quick bit of business. No one likes to have to ask for shizz, but this voting thing at the Refresh Challenge is for a good cause. To up the stakes, we’re donating a $100 gift card to Wal-Mart. All you have to do is vote and comment “Razzball” over at the voting site. The comment names will be chosen at random on Monday and the winner will be announced here. That link again is http://pep.si/abEtbm — Wow, I feel like George Clooney. Anyway II, here’s the roundup:
Trevor Hoffman – Probably should be headed to the Disgraceful List but in the meantime the Brewers say he won’t pitch for a few days while he works on his mechanics. Carlos Villanueva and Todd Coffey are the pickups, in that order. Or the reverse order if you’re dyslexic.
Ike Davis – 1-for-4. For the foreseeable future, Manuel says Davis will be the cleanup hitter. I like how Manual makes these announcements every few days. First, Reyes will bat 3rd, then Chris Carter will bat cleanup, now Ike. Waiting for the announcement where he says New Era will bat cleanup only later to realize he pulled the tag out of the hat.
Livan Hernandez – 6 1/3 IP, 2 ER, 7 baserunners, 2 Ks. It’s May 20th and Livan’s ERA is still 1.62. I will now go drink cyanide.
Drew Storen – 2/3 IP and the Win. After the game, Clippard told Storen, “You’re welcome.”
Clay Buchholz – 8 IP, 2 ER, 6 baserunners, 7 Ks. Said I thought Buchholz could be the Sawx’s ace this year, he’s only confirmed my thoughts. Really2 loved Buchholz coming into this year, but didn’t end up with him on any team. I was Buch-blocked.
David Ortiz – 1-for-4 with his 4th homer in his last 6 games as he bats .248. Ortiz is no longer *pinkie to mouth* ice Papi. Think this is the new Ortiz, homers and not much else. His name garners more attention than he actually warrants. If you own him, I’d see what he could get you on the trade market.
Joe Mauer – 1-for-4 with his 1st steal of the season. Also, he has 2 homers on the year. Haven’t mentioned much about this because I spend enough time telling you people my correct preseason calls, but Mauer’s power has gone sour. Told ya!
Carlos Zambrano – 1/3 IP. Yeah, that’s how you stretch him out. Niiiiice.
Carlos Lee – Hit his 3rd homer in four days. Carlos wasn’t happy at all about me saying his days were numbered, obvious lee.
Josh Hamilton – 2-for-4 with one home run while he was robbed of another home run because the ump missed the call and refused to review the replay. Seriously, what’s the point of having replay if they’re not going to use it? Umps are useless. Get a real job, like writing a fantasy baseball blog.
Aroldis Chapman – Left his minor league game with a blister. Wait until he sees how our health care compares to Cuba’s.
Milton Bradley – 2-for-4 as the Golden Glove outfielder returned to the Mariners. In the postgame press conference, he thanked his family for their support, saying he was a humbler, changed man. Then a reporter interrupted him and Milton Hulk-smashed the reporter’s head into a locker.
Michael Saunders – Sat out yesterday in favor of Bradley and could be in for a major reduction of time until Milton loses his shizz and karate kicks Figgy for looking at him the wrong way. I give it a week.
Casper Wells – Who? The guy Leyland put in the three hole. Will someone please buy Leyland some blank lineup cards so he doesn’t have to hit Casper Wells third simply because he’s filling in for Magglio Ordonez?
Freddy Sanchez – 0-for-4. Never been a fan Freddy Sanchez, but at MI he can provide very modest power and average. Outside of NL-Only leagues, I’d look just about anywhere else first, but there ya go.
Ian Kennedy – 8 IP, 1 ER, 6 baserunners, 9 Ks. I’ve touted him enough by this point, right? You don’t need me to go on any further, do you?
Wade Davis – 5 2/3 IP, 2 ER, 10 baserunners, 7 Ks. Was a decent start for the youngster vs. the Yanks. (Look at me, I’m an oldster, saying things like youngster.) In 8 starts, he’s only gone longer than 6 innings once. His WHIP isn’t pretty either, mostly because his walks are a bit out of control. I’d let someone else deal with his potential/potential headache.
Jorge Posada – Will miss up to a month with a fractured foot. Or as they say in England, a fractured meter. If your DL slots are limited, I wouldn’t stress over holding onto Posada. He’s still just a catcher. Filling in for him…
Francisco Cervelli – Hasn’t done much except hit for average, but he’s done that well. Now hitting .373 on the year. Oh, and hat tip to frequent commenter, Buge Hoobs, who pointed out how much Cervelli looks like The Great Gazoo.
Will Venable – 4-for-5, 4 Runs, 1 RBI and a steal. Huge game, but he sits against most lefties and he’s batting .248 on the year. Best case scenario, he gets 12 homers, 25 steals and a poor average on the year. It’s okay in NL-Only leagues, but I wouldn’t go crazy in mixed leagues.
Kerry Wood – 1/3 IP, 5 ER for an epic, glove-tossing meltdown. Good to see Wood picked up right where he left off. I wouldn’t drop Chris Perez just yet. And if he’s out there on waivers, I’d grab him.
Lou Marson – Stole his 3rd base to open up the lead between him and Alcides.
Mike Aviles – 3-for-5, with a Run and RBI. He’s been admittedly underrepresented in my roundups, but I find straight average guys yawnstipating. Aviles is, however, batting .390. There’s room for that on some teams.
Randy Wolf – 6 1/3 IP, 6 ER, 15 baserunners, 3 Ks. Now has a 5.10 ERA on the year. Right now, I wouldn’t own Wolf with your team.
Nate McLouth – 2-for-4 with a steal. He’s actually been hitting recently (.300 in his last 7 games), but he’s also batting 8th, which in an NL lineup is death, not depth. Unless your league is deep, I’d just watch McLousy for now to see if he moves up the lineup.
Cameron Maybin – 2-for-5 with his 2nd homer in 2 games. It took freakin’ forever, but Maybin seems like he might stick around in the majors for a little while. Could be a photo finish in Florida between Coghlan and Ross for Stanton’s playing time. Better make sure you punch out those Chads.
Anibal Sanchez – 7 IP, 0 ER, 6 baserunners, 8Ks. Has looked good for a few starts in a row now with a 3.28 ERA on the year. But his last six starts have been against the Giants, Mets, Padres, Astros, Nats and a very cold Cards team. I could have an under 4 ERA against those teams.
Jarrod Saltalamacchia – Going to see a psychologist to deal with his inability to throw the ball back to the pitcher. It’s the yips (which only sounds racist). This reminds of the time I was at Benihana and the chef missed his hat with a shrimp tail three times in a row. The Benihana’s chef’s name was Mackey Sasser.