Alcides Escobar stole 42 bases in 52 attempts in only 109 games in Triple-A in 2009, so what the effin’ eff in the eff hole happened last year? How did he only steal 10 bases in 145 games? Did he mind-meld with Prince Fielder and think he had a four-hundred pound torso? For those of you who have Google, you can see Alcides was a fantasy baseball sleeper last year and he’s going to be one again this year. Alcides had a Speed Score of 6.4. For qualifying players, that’s the highest Speed Score with the lowest stolen base total. The Speed Score of 6.4 sits right between The Dread Pirate at 6.5 (33 steals) and Scott Podsednik at 6.2 (35 steals). In Triple-A, his Speed Score was 8.4. Carl Crawford led the majors last year with a 8.5, Brett Gardner was 2nd with 8.1. Escobar also has no fear of losing playing time because he’s excellent with his glove and he’s now on the peasant Royals. If Web Gems were a category, Alcides would be a two category performer. Right now, SAGNOF! If Alcides Escobar doesn’t steal at least 25 bases next year, my name isn’t Grey “Is This Thing On?” Albright. In 2011, I’m sticking my neck out with a line of 70/3/40/.275/30.
Ian Desmond is a totally different animal but I’m grouping them together because I want them at my MI (stutterer!) slot. (Plus, there’s not enough to say about either to warrant a full post for either. Or eye-thurr, if you’re Chingy.) You might also notice that sleeper MIs outnumber sleeper corner infidels by two to one (no actual math done for 2 to 1; I’m guessing. Cut me some slack.). This is because if you go wrong at MI, you can recover a whole lot more gracefully than if you drop a turd nugget at your corner slot. Really, what’s the difference between Ian Desmond and Jeter last year? Some runs? Address that to “Who Cares” with the return address of “Big Whoop,” don’t put a stamp on it and watch it go around in an endless circle of “Don’t Matter.” I’ve pretty much convinced myself that Desmond can get to 15 homers this year. 15/20 guy at shortstop? Like that on Facebook, you social media dork. In 2011, I see a line of 80/15/70/.280/20. That, friends, is a 2011 fantasy baseball sleeper. Or sleepurr, if Chingy is still reading.