Taking a break from my weekly rant on the droolings of Eric Karabell and just going to vent on one topic. Let’s call this column, “Open Your Vent!” Also, I want my own sidebar section like Rudy’s got for his TWIR. But that’s not what I’m venting on. That’s a side vent, if you will. Or you won’t. I don’t give a crap. You either like me or you hate me. And if I see Rudy or Grey in a dark alley sharing an ice cream cone, I wouldn’t stop to say squat, cause that’s how I do! Now turn up your anger, I’m about to open my vent!
People who draft a team, then abandon it should be taken into a San Fernando Valley warehouse and turned into a spit cup. Why are you using Yahoo or ESPN to practice your drafting? You can’t use one of the sites that are available to do Mock Drafts? There’s even a site called, Mock Draft Central! You can’t work Google to find it? What, there’s a restraining order between you and smart? Or you just get off on randomly abandoning your teams and ruining everyone else in that league’s season? How about I abandon your stupid ass in the City of God? Your head will be a fútbol, you cross-eyed, nipple sucker. You know what’s really disgraceful? Self-proclaimed fantasy experts who abandon their team in self-proclaimed expert leagues. That shows a pretty competitive streak. How about you let your kid beat you in Connect Four while you make dinner for your wife as she blows your neighbor? How about I Googlestalk your ass, move next door and fill-in for your neighbor? Too bad “Largest Vagina” isn’t a category. You and your wife could be tied for first. Now go get your shinebox!