Someone’s getting comped at the Tampa Airport Hooters! Matt Garza threw the Rays first no-hitter yesterday. He hypnotized the Tigers with the Garza Strip on his chin. With all due respect to Ernie Harwell, the EH on the Tigers uniform could easily refer to the lineup without Ordonez and Guillen. If there’s one guy you want to face with a no-hitter on the line, it’s Don Kelly… And Gerald Laird… And Ramon Santiago. Garza always had nasty stuff but – even this year – you never know what you’re going to get with him. He gave up 7 ER in 1 1/3 @ FLA. He gave up 7 ERs in 6 IP against Baltimore. His WHIP was 1.32 going into the game and he hasn’t had to face the Yanks yet. So we love us some Garza, but this no-hitter doesn’t change his value. Anyway, here’s what else we saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:
Dan Haren – Left the game after a comebacker meant for Joe Saunders hit his right forearm. The Angels are saying it’s a contusion and he’ll be reexamined today. It sounds like he’ll miss one start, at the worst. Or wurst, if you’re German.
Jason Hammel – 5 2/3 IP, 4 ER, 10 baserunners, 8 Ks. With a 3.18 home ERA in Coors and a near-6 ERA on the road, Hammel continues to be your fantasy team cup check. Do you have the cojones to start him only at home when everything you’ve ever been taught tells you to avoid Coors?
Zack Greinke – 4 IP, 8 ER vs. the Twins was a start only Velma Dinkley (Greinkes!) could love. Is he trying to make Brian Bannister look better? I wonder if Greinke would pitch better if his team was in the heat of a pennant race instead of a race for the top draft pick.
Corey Hart – Hasn’t played since jamming his wrist on Friday night. He might want to consider returning to only jamming on 80’s pop rock.
Rickie Weeks – 1-for-4 with his 21st homer. In the last ten games, he has 6 homers in only 11 hits. Well, someone had to step in for Hart.
Randy Wolf – 7 IP, 2 ER, 6 baserunners, 5 Ks vs. the Reds as everyone, except Jonny Gomes (3 hits) forgot they were facing Randy Wolf. Maybe he confused them by wearing a sheep costume. Just proof that if you can give up 10 less earned runs from your previous start, you’ve got a great chance at a win.
Bronson Arroyo – 8 IP, 3 ER, 4 baserunners, 5 Ks. He wasn’t out pitched, guys and three girls. He was out hustled! That’s not true, he was out pitched. But it was still a solid start for a guy with good historical 2nd half numbers.
Jimmy Rollins – Has a left foot contusion but the x-rays were negative, which is oddly a positive. You figure that one out, call me! He might miss a day or three to recover. Oh, Jimmy, age isn’t being kind to you, is it? Lucky you’re not Latin or you’d be 45 years old.
Brad Lidge – Is there a more exciting closer in the game than Brad Lidge? You know how hard it is to give up 5 baserunners in an inning and still get a save? That’s more baserunners than the kid in Rookie of the Year gave up after he lost his fastball.
Jacoby Ellsbury – Began his minor league assignment and should return in about a week or so. Get him back in your lineups! …In about a week or so.
David Ortiz – 2-for-4, 3 RBIs and 2 homers. He said he just imagined Tony Pena was pitching and boom! Ortiz hit 4 homers in July with a .253 average. In June, 6 homers and a .238 average. Are you in love with the production or the name value?
Clay Buchholz – 7 IP, 1 ER, 6 baserunners, 7 Ks. Looks like he shook off the rust that plagued his last start. BTW, I always find it weird how I don’t know the top five rankings for stats anymore. For instance, Buchholz is ranked 2nd in the AL in ERA. I feel like I used to know these things when I read an actual paper.
Adam Lind – 3-for-4 with his 14th homer. Aaron Hill went 2-for-4 with his 14th homer. Wait, I know this one! The 2009 Blue Jays, right? Great impression! But why is 2009 Ben Zobrist on their team? Oh, wait, that’s Jose Bautista.
Luke Scott – He took the momentum of appearing in Friday’s Buy/Sell and ran with it. Now has 5 homers in the last week. You know what to do.
Chris Johnson – 2-for-4 with a steal. How did your short schedule pickup do yesterday?
Mike Stanton – 2-for-4 with his 8th homer. I don’t know why I have this feeling, but I bet Bill James’ 2011 projections for Stanton are going to be Unabomber-crazy. I’m guessing he puts him down for 36 homers and 12 steals.
Joe Mauer – The Twins went all Rebel Yell on the Royals, putting up 19 runs as the bench cried, “We want Mauer, Mauer, Mauer.” Mauer’s 5-for-5, HR, 3 Runs, 7 RBI is a pretty good line. Ten more of those games and his fantasy owners might not be dancing with themselves in last place.
Jim Thome – 0-for-3 as the Twins scored booku runs. Ticker tease!
Danny Valencia – 4-for-4, 4 Runs, 4 RBIs, his first homer and a walk. In 2009, Valencia hit only 7 homers in Triple-A in 282 plate appearances while walking 8 times. So a home run is rare, a walk is even rarer (or raw, I guess). Oddly enough, he has 8 walks vs. 10 Ks so far in 85 ABs for the Twins. I’m guessing major league pitchers don’t know to not throw him a strike. He’s 10 for his last 14 and crazy hot right now. It won’t be a long term pickup, but I could see grabbing him in AL-Only and deep mixed leagues.
John Danks – Got his 11th win with an 8 IP, 7 baserunner, 2 K game that’s impressive until you see that it’s against the Mariners. They only have one starter other than Ichiro with a batting average above .250 and it’s Jack Wilson (.256). Where are you, Richie Zisk?
Matt Wieters – A 2 HR day! The last time he flashed that much power was the entire month of June combined. Someone is getting jealous at all of the Buster Posey love. Vegas still has Ring Around The Buster Poseys as a 3-1 favorite for 2011 young catcher punned fantasy team names over Oscar Mayer Wieters, Oye Como Santana, You Don’t Bring Me Tyler Flowers or Jesus Montero Superstar.