hodor_thechildren_fight

First off, hopefully you understand the connotation of this article’s title from last Sunday. Potential spoilers ahead? Maybe? Second, I mean, damn it! Really, Bran? Ya had to do Hodor like that? Third, he really did hold that door. Standing O and hats off to you, gentle mini-giant. You own the episode. For the first time ever Game of Thrones fans experienced an emotional heart-wrenching of sadness more than just pure shock (see: Red Wedding). Oh, spoilers? It’s been almost a week…and I’ve been dying to talk about it!

You know what hitters, ahem, have been dying to do off Gerrit Cole since May 2? Score runs. Cole’s first five starts were sub-par, especially for a pitcher of his stature, but since that May 2 visit from the Cubs, he’s rallied off 26 IP with just 3 ER. That’s Arrieta-esque. He’s holding the door shut to opposing lineups, even the most formidable ones. After his shellacking by the Cubs to start the month, he then travelled to Wrigley two starts later and threw a 8IP/3H/0ER/0BB/7K gem. He’s heating up like Daenerys Targaryen at the end of Episode 4! Well, you know, without being naked of course. Cole’s putting April behind him and ascending back to Ace status (and we’re not worrying about that strange zero strike out start two weeks ago…). Don’t be concerned about solid lineups he’ll face; the Marlins and Angels have a .158 and .132 ISO the past 30 games. Nothing to write home about.

Home. Maybe Bran’s going there now. Or may Jon’s heading back there at the bidding of Sansa. As long as it’s not Hardhome, I doubt he cares, though. Sheesh. Oh, and yes, I just geeked out on Game of Thrones. You’re freakin’ welcome.

Pitchers are listed in order by rank. Colors represent worst 8 or best 8 opponents according to team wOBA for last 30 days. And in honor of GoT, we’ll name the tiers based on my favorite characters.

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Greetings! Ahhh, nothing quite like receiving the honor of writing the Friday night roundup. I imagine its quite similar to receiving the Medal of Honor, the Purple Heart, or maybe a Nobel Peace Prize. It certainly feels a heckuva lot better than the pride of Julio Urias‘ owners on this fine Saturday. Yeah, Urias was a real spark plug for Dodger nation last night..Sorry, did I say spark plug? I meant butt plug. They were hoping for Justin Timberlake, but instead received JC Chavez. We all expected Christian Bale, but the performance was more Christian Slater. 2.3 innings pitched with three earned and four walks sounds more like Jorge De La Rosa than Jose Fernandez. With that being said, I’m not concerned with the outing whatsoever. That’s also possibly because I don’t own him anywhere, and don’t really care either way. Best of luck to you all though, my goodmen!

Anyway, here’s what else I noticed yesterday in fantasy baseball. Take heed!

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Leave It to Beaver was on from the late 50’s to early 60’s, a time where an 83 MPH fastball may have been useful. I have never seen the show, but from what I know/Wikipedia told me is that mischief-maker “The Beaver” found several ways to get himself into trouble. Like Beaver, Weaver occasionally does good things. For example, Weaver hasn’t allowed more than 2 walks in game this season and has been finding success in his change-up, which is holding hitters to a .170 batting average and a .277 slugging. However, that seems to be his only good pitch, as the rest of his pitch repertoire is getting hit over .333 and slugged over .580. The bad news for him is that the Houston Astros have the 7th highest slugging against changeups at .435. The Astros will punish the Angels for allowing Weaver to take mound, and may we all reap the benefits. Now, lets move on to my favorite Astros and other picks for today.

New to DraftKings? Scared of feeling like a small fish in a big pond? Well reserve your spot in the 25 Team Razzball Exclusive League set to run Monday May 30th to wet your DK whistle. Just remember to sign up through us before you do. It’s how we know you care! If you still feel helpless and lonely, be sure to subscribe to the DFSBot for your daily baseball plays.

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The change in Texas has reverbed into the Holds ranks as well.  Tolley was the guy, now Frank Perdue’s arch-nemesis Sam Dyson is all comfy in the save bird seat.  The best part of this whole deal is that Jake Diekman is reaping all the benefits from a fantasy hold perspective.  This is a coup for the people who listened to me early and figured him to be the lefty-version of the lock-down pen arm in Arlington.  All Jake has done on the year is garner 13 holds with 11 plus K/9 and a HR/9 just a smidge over one.  We in the fantasy community rely on such precise words as smidge, scoonch, pinch… and I’m throwing prolly in there because some people like it and it doesn’t get more accurate than that.   So the main question is, can Diekman be the man and continue to be the man?  Absolutely.  He is thriving in a role that he started when he was with Philly.  The Rangers, also if anyone is paying attention, aren’t a half bad team and are fairly solid with or without Tolleson closing at the end.  So let’s take a look at what else has happened in the fortnight of games since the last bullpen lowdown, or ho-down.  Depending on how strong your hold pimp hand is.

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You missed out on Julio Urias and are like, “I will never miss out on another top prospect call up, I promise you that,” then you stick your pinkie out to pinkie swear with your reflection, only the girl you’re seeing walks in on you pinkie swearing with yourself and you need to come up with an excuse, so you tell her, you’re practicing drinking tea with your pinkie out and that works because you’re dating Princess Iman bint Al-Hussein of Jordan, who your friends were more impressed with when they thought you were dating Michael Jordan’s lesbian daughter.  Well, in order to keep your promise to yourself, you Promise Keeper, you need to pick up Jameson Taillon now now now.  Not now, not now now, but now now now.  Three nows.  An extra now when now now is not fast enough.  Why now now now?  The Pirates skipped him this past week because they want him to throw more in the majors.  Now (one now) they are simply sitting on him until they can call him up in the first week of June.  I’d guess Niese or Locke get one more start in the rotation, then Jameson will be here.  Is he that good?  His numbers are kinda ridiculous in Triple-A — 9+ K/9, 0.9 BB/9, 1.82 ERA.  I will now climb into my giant iguana skin throw rug and laugh hysterically like a madman.  Jameson can be the number one call-up pitcher this year, and should be owned now now now.  Anyway, here’s some more players to Buy or Sell this week in fantasy baseball:

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As the weeks go by, all of you will notice that these posts will be increasingly more influenced by your questions, and the players you the readers and commenters show interest in. In the same way, all that attended a New Kids On The Block concert in 1990, were dubbed honorary “Newest Kids”, you are all my Shitz Stiks, and will be such forevermore. So it is with great excitement and anticipation that I begin today’s post dedicated to the hottest swinging bat this side of Jackie Bradley Jr., Alex Bregman. I know a player is generating a ton of buzz not only when I get questions about them, but when people start asking Grey questions about cats in AA. It’s almost as if you people dropped the A.J. Reed punch for Bregman lemonade and have no plans of letting up. (After all lemonade is a popular drink, and it still is.) When you’re putting up the sort of crooked numbers that Bregman has for Corpus Christi that will happen. So let’s get into this helium tank and see where it leads us.

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Well, it finally happened, the long wait is over. Wait a minute, this isn’t right at all. It’s only been three years since the Dodgers signed, a then 16 year old, Julio Urias and we haven’t stopped hearing about him since. The comparisons to fellow Mexican Dodgers hurler, Fernando Valenzuela, might be getting a bit ahead of ourselves. Will there be Juliomania? Perhaps, but there will also be innings limits, pitch counts and who knows what else. What we do know is that at $7,600, Julio is going to be an extremely popular option on DraftKings tomorrow night. There’s a strange phenomenon that people enjoy picking players based on games they plan on watching. During the football season you’ll find slight ownership bumps from SNF and MNF players for this very reason. It makes sense, people want to see their players perform. I imagine there will be many eyeballs on the Dodgers @ Mets game tonight and a heavy dose of Urias as a result. Knowing this will be the case, the prudent move would be to fade Urias all together. The Mets are favored with deGrom taking the hill at home after all. Can you really resist the temptation to have a piece of what might be a magical debut? It’s OK, I probably can’t either, I’ve got at least have small share of the 19 year old lefty. Let’s see who else there is to choose from tonight:

New to DraftKings? Scared of feeling like a small fish in a big pond? Well reserve your spot in the 25 Team Razzball Exclusive League set to run Monday May 30th to wet your DK whistle. Just remember to sign up through us before you do. It’s how we know you care! If you still feel helpless and lonely, be sure to subscribe to the DFSBot for your daily baseball plays.

Please, blog, may I have some more?

I missed out on Julio Urias in all of my leagues.  Shame because I was just looking at his stats the other day — 9.8 K/9, 1.8 BB/9, 1.10 ERA and I was like, “Those can’t be real,” and he winked at me.  An interminable wink.  And I was like, “Are you winking that those stats are real or are you winking at me that they’re not?”  He didn’t answer, he just kept winking.  So, I tried to pull a fast one on him and was like, “Wink once if I should wait to pick you up, wink twice if I should pick you up now or wink three times if you’re going to be called up to be a middle reliever.”  And he winked once.  Again.  Then, like I do at Madame Tussauds Wax Museum, I climbed onto his head and blew into his eye to see if he was alive.  He wasn’t.  I mean, he is, but this was just a picture of him.  Don’t be like me, don’t worry about the wink test with Urias and just grab him in all leagues.  He could be a number one starter for the time he’s in the rotation.  That’s the catch, however.  (Or is it pitch?)  He’s filling in for Alex Wood, who has triceps tightness.  Wood could be out the rest of the season (not saying he is) and Urias would still not stay in the rotation.  The Dodgers have said they will limit Urias’s innings.  He could only pitch 60 more innings this year, which is about ten starts.  My guess is he’ll pitch a few starts in the rotation, then move to the bullpen and pitch an inning or three a week.  Sound about right to you, Urias?  Wink once for yes…. Anyway, here’s what else I saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:

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It wasn’t supposed to be this way. The ace who just last year produced the lowest ERA (1.66) in a single season among qualified starting pitchers since Greg Maddux in 1995 and the lowest WHIP (0.84) since Pedro Martinez in 2000 wasn’t supposed to struggle like this. But things haven’t exactly gone according to plan for Zack Greinke since signing a six-year, $208 million contract with the Arizona Diamondbacks this past offseason. His current 1.31 WHIP isn’t too far off from last year’s ERA and his current 4.59 ERA is almost triple that of last season’s mark. At this rate, Greinke and his fantasy owners are unlikely to remain friends forever. But what exactly has happened here? Is he going to turn things around, or was last season just a fluke?

Let’s take a look at Greinke’s profile to determine why he’s struggling and what can be expected from him moving forward. Here are a few observations:

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goonies


Hey you guys!
 If you’re anything like me, you’ve seen Goonies about a hundred times. The movie is a legitimate classic, and according to the rumors, a sequel is in the works. If they are looking for someone to play Sloth, look no further than Julio Urias. Yes I know, that is awful, but I felt it had to be done. I know he had surgery on that eye last year, but maybe it was all part of the pre-production plans. Billy Butler can play Chunk. How about Masahiro Tanaka as Data and Frodo Baggins as Mikey. Sounds good to me. Now let’s get filming people!

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