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Gustavo ChacinJhoulys Chacin

A scary scene yesterday for my fantasy team. WHY DOES THE UNIVERSE MOCK ME?! I’m not saying it was Ancient Aliens, but it was Ancient Aliens. Everything was lined up for my success, then Carlos Carrasco was a little too lined up by Melky. I don’t wish ill on anyone, but couldn’t Melky have hit T.J. House. He’s got a solid foundation. He could take the hit. Was this the Fantasy Baseball Overlord and his infinite deviousness? Why is your deviousness so infinite? In a pool of your deviousness, do you have to lifeguard it constantly? Seems dangerous. Ugh, Carrasco? More like Srir-ouch-a, I’m going to get sauced. The Indians are saying Carrasco didn’t suffer a concussion, but we’ll see. This might open a spot for Danny Salazar. I went to grab him in every league, but he was gone already. Then again, Jhoulys Chacin just signed a minor league deal with the Indians, and Salazar was seen riding in the rain, while the song, Just Once, played on the radio as he cried. Anyway, here’s what else I saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:

Please, blog, may I have some more?

This draft was so slow that I lost half my starting rotation before the draft ended. This draft was so slow that when it started Minnie Minoso was still alive. This draft was so slow when it started Tupac was still dead. I didn’t enjoy my time last year in the 15-team NFBC slow draft. I drafted Mark Trumbo, Prince Fielder, Cliff Lee, Anibal Sanchez and Patrick Corbin and my only chance was a big year from Nadir Bupkis, who gave me just that. See, there’s no waivers and the league is 50 rounds deep, so if you’re hit by injuries, you’re done. So, I was talked into doing the league one more time, but knew I had to draft starters early and often, and, of course, prior to the draft even completing I lost Zack Wheeler and Tony Cingrani. Many will disagree with me, but I’m under the firm belief that it’s a lot harder and more fun to win a league like a Razzball Commenter League, than it is to win a super-deep league. With super-deep leagues, if you’re hit by injuries, you’re done. That’s neither fun nor challenging. That’s just shizzy luck. You can say I should’ve known Wheeler and Cingrani weren’t safe, and I’d say to you that neither are any of the pitchers that are healthy all year. They just happened to stay healthy. It’s not like the guy that drafted Alex Cobb is any smarter than the guy who drafted (insert pitcher that is healthy right now that may not be healthy by the time you read this). How’s dem grapes? Sour! Anyway, here’s my 15-team, 5×5, roto, NFBC slow draft team and thoughts:

Please, blog, may I have some more?

Anthony Rendon was cleared for baseball activities, which meant he was able to spit sunflower seeds and adjust his jockstrap with no pain. Then he reported discomfort when he bent his knee. Matt Williams, singing a’la Weird Al, said, “Rendon’s Opening Day is in jeopardy…Baby…Ooh…” Honestly, I feel like I’m in a pickle wrapped in a can’t-win-shituation surrounded by a chimichanga of head scratching with a Mexican saying, “No lo se,” and me saying, “No lose? More like no win, Jose!” We’re still two weeks away from Opening Day and Rendon could be fine by the end of the first week, which means he’ll miss maybe 25 ABs, which is nothing in the big picture. Dock him 3 runs, 2 RBIs and four hits and move on. This could actually be a buying opportunity in drafts if he falls too far. But if he’s downplaying his injury as every player who has been injured does, then he could struggle, hit the DL for a month or two and have a lost season. He never had blazing speed, so I worry that he might not steal with the knee injury or at least not as much in the early part of the year. Therefore, ergo, vis-a-vis I lowered him out of my top 10 and into my top 20 where I’d be more comfortable drafting him. Anyway, here’s what else I saw in spring training for fantasy baseball:

Please, blog, may I have some more?

Per the usual, I have to drop a caveat when it comes to Deep League Thoughts about pitchers: there’s no such thing as a deep league pitcher. Unless you’re talking 20 team leagues and then you’re calling some relievers deep league pitchers. I ain’t going there so let’s realize upfront before you feel affronted. Now that we have that settled, when does a young pitcher settle? Two years? Four years? Do they ever? It’s all hard to predict. As we’ve seen through our years as fantasy baseballers, growth isn’t a promise from a young kid, it’s a possibility. How many rookies came and went on your rosters in 2014 alone? I’m not asking you, Grey. You’d add and drop the same player five times in one day so you don’t count, you chronic rosterbator. That said, I’m sure Trevor Bauer hit your roster more than once. He had some good with some bad in 2014. Maybe you got the bad from him and won’t go near him again. Maybe you had more of the good like I did and you’re willing to look into him a bit further. If so, trudge on with me. We’re about to go deep inside the enigma that is Bauer and what he can do for you for the 2015 Fantasy Baseball season…

Please, blog, may I have some more?

How do you know if you’ve drafted a great pitcher? If his name is Clayton Kershaw or Felix Hernandez, you are on the right track. But what about everyone else that is not them? Well, in head-to-head points leagues, I like to look at points per start (PPS). This gives me an idea of approximately how many puntos (that’s spanish for points) I am going to get, and is often a factor in helping me decide which pitchers to both draft and start.

Please, blog, may I have some more?

Alfredo Amezaga
David Eckstein
James Rapoport
Kenneth McNutt
Michael Demperio
Jarret Martin
Taylor Thompson
Aramis Ramirez
Mike Minor
Jason Stoffel
Christian Bethancourt
Patrick Schuster
Chris Owings
Keyvius Sampson
Robert Borchering
Chris Dwyer
Wil Myers
Al Reyes
Austin Wood
Jorge Reyes
Nestor Molina
Grant Green
Alex White
Tyler Matzek
Max Stassi
Brooks Raley
Johnny Hellweg
Ian Krol
Tomas Telis
Jonathan Villar
Elevys Gonzalez
Caleb Thielbar
Keith Butler
Shawn Griffith
Hisanori Takahashi
Dane de la Rosa
Reynaldo Rodriguez
Dustin Ackley
Ron Villone
Ryan Vogelsong
Johan Yan
Jose Flores
Kip Wells
Graham Stoneburner
Kyle Gibson
Jean Lucas Almanzar
Mike Leake
Stephen Strasburg
Brad Boxberger
Julio Rodriguez
Aaron Crow
Craig Wilson
Fabio Martinez
Donald Lutz
Mike Trout
Nick Franklin
Noel Arguelles
Jack Wilson
Jose Ramirez
Edgar Olmos
Juan Duran
Melvin Mercedes
Jacob Turner
Kevin Barker
Tyler Skaggs
Carlos Perez
Shelby Miller
Billy Hamilton
Tucker Barnhart
Matthew Oye
Sean Burroughs
Aaron Northcraft
Stephen Cilladi
Jose Iglesias
Ryota Igarashi
Aroldis Chapman
Bryan Morris
Ariel Pena
Randal Grichuk
Matt Long
Andrew Oliver
Rafael Martin
Omar Beltre
Alexi Ogando
Brandon Belt
Justin Marks
Tanner Scheppers
Kentrail Davis
Francisco Arcia
Jose Toussen
Hector Sanchez
Adam Eaton
Dennis Tepera
Adrian Nieto
Eury Perez
Alan Embree
Chris Heston
Jarred Cosart
Oswaldo Arcia
Roman Mendez
BJ Hermsen
Zack Wheeler
Erasmo Ramirez
Michael Tonkin
Brent Keys
Danny Ortiz
Adrian Salcedo
Danny Santana
Rafael Ortega
Marcell Ozuna
Chad Jenkins
Ramon Cabrera
Reymond Fuentes
Giovanni Soto
Nick Christiani
Zachary Heathcott
Edwin Escobar
Scooter Gennett
Gift Ngoepe
Aaron Loup
JR Murphy
Michael Ohlman
Domingo Santana
Tommy Joseph
Trevor Hoffman
Nicholas Struck
Daniel Rosenbaum
Robbie Erlin
Noah Perio
Zach Samuels
Rylan Sandoval
Eliecer Navarro
Carlos Contreras
Brooks Pounders
Daniel Fields
Ryan Beckman
Rhett Parrott
Greg Maddux
Miguel De Los Santos
Ryan Klesko
Wilfredo Tovar
Carlos Perdomo
Mark Kotsay
Rob Wort
Leslie Anderson
Mychal Givens
Jon Singleton
Adeiny Hechavarria
Sergio Espinosa
Todd Glaesmann
Taylor Jordan
Enrique Hernandez
Cheslor Cuthbert
Jorge Padron
Shawn Tolleson
Frederick Lewis
Yoervis Medina
Jason Marquis
Daniel Dorn
Preston Claiborne
Dallas Poulk
Mario Hollands
Stephen McCray
Jake Peavy
Hunter Morris
Rett Varner
Drew Hayes
Jeffrey Walters
Rocky Gale
Jake Petricka
Shawn Sanford
Ryan Fraser
Ryan Lipkin
Derek Dietrich
Jimmy Nelson
Ramon Morla
Cesar Hernandez
Cory Vaughn
Daniel Webb
Brett Tomko
Jeffrey Malm
Anthony Fernandez
Forrest Snow
Joshua Bowman
Ramon Vazquez
Rico Noel
Addison Reed
Chad Bettis
Juan Sosa
Scott Alexander
Joey Terdoslavich
Kevin Millwood
Adalberto Santos
Stephen Hunt
Chris Sale
Seth Rosin
Bryce Brentz
David Freitas
Ryan Tucker
Donn Roach
Wilfredo Gimenez
Zach Walters
Adam Liberatore
Robby Price
Carlos Perez
Edgar Duran
Telvin Nash
Zachary Thornton
Rob Brantly
Willie Bloomquist
Stephen Pryor
Michael Rayl
Cole White
Gustavo Pierre
Giovanny Urshela
Tyler Thornburg
Brian Baker
Jonathan Garcia
Kyle Roller
Nicholas McBride
Mike Olt
Robert Doran
Mike Cameron
Ryan LaMarre
Aaron Dudley
Red Patterson
Arismendy Alcantara
Jarrett Casey
Leonardo Reginatto
Jeff Cirillo
Drew Hutchison
Michael Blanke
Brandon Jacobs
Miles Head
Kelly Dugan
Trevor Rosenthal
Daniel Reynolds
Kyle Knudson
Shane Greene
Casio Grider
Ryan Franklin
Corey Dickerson
Dale Dickerson
Lane Adams
Freddy Garcia
Travis Ozga
Carlos Guillen
Tony Plagman
Josh Edgin
Joe Nelson
John Halama
Jake Dunning
Tyler Saladino
Mike Foltynewicz
Jurickson Profar
Jedd Gyorko
Todd Cunningham
Michael Mariot
Asher Wojciechowski
Cody Stanley
Rangel Ravelo
Adam Kolarek
Andrelton Simmons
Chasen Shreve
Ryan Casteel
Matthew Little
Jared Hoying
Kolbrin Vitek
Gil Meche
Tyler Burgoon
Darren Ford
Jamie Moyer
Kevin Johnson
Christian Bergman
Ryan Fisher
Joel Pineiro
Austin Hubbard
Christopher Wallace
Jeff Arnold
Scott Podsednik
Adam Duvall
Greg Garcia
Phil Gosselin
Jacob deGrom
Jake Buchanan
Steve McQuail
Timothy Adleman
Arthur Rhodes
Ryan O’Rourke
Barrett Kleinknecht
Chase Whitley
Ben Rowen
Darin Erstad
Horacio Ramirez
Rafael Soriano
Alfredo Lopez
Evan Gattis
Ichiro Suzuki
Kevin Shackelford
Michael Earley
Kevin Kiermaier
Rich Aurilia
Adam Melker
Barry Bonds
Mike O’Neill
Pedro Feliz
A.J. Please, blog, may I have some more?

Please, blog, may I have some more?

Manny Machado‘s epitaph: He always found more success throwing a bat at a ball. Better than Salvador Perez’s: Together again! Machado wasn’t just struggling, he was like that friend of yours that not only is having a rotten time at a party, but also sucks the prettiest girls in the room into his sad funk of despair and before long, the girls are like, “I don’t want to go out and get drunk and party and potentially hook up with you. Your friend Manny Machado is too depressed.” The buzz kill friend. Yesterday, Machado went 5-for-6, 2 runs, 2 RBIs with his 8th homer, and fourth homer in his last seven games (skipping the suspension games). About time he listened to your advice, did a body shot off the tummy of the girl that wants to be a physical therapist and cheered up! I don’t own Machado anywhere this year, due to the knee issue coming into the season, but he just turned 22 years old (almost literally; his birthday was Sunday) and I’ll be all over Machado again next year. Of course, if you can acquire him in a trade this year, by all means, which sounds like it was said by Malcolm X’s less militant brother, Bobby X. Anyway, here’s what else I saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:

Please, blog, may I have some more?

What’s the mood, doode? How ya’ feelin’? Why is it all real G’s drop their G’s on their gerunds? G-dropping as non-G’s call it. That keeps me up at night. Failing to rank at first Tyson Ross in my top 100 starters doesn’t. It was a mistake on my part, and I corrected it before we got out of February. I ranked him. Snafu less afu’d than it could’ve been. I still probably didn’t rank him high enough. They have no award for that. Trophies, trophies. This is like Gangsta Deep Thoughts on Def Poetry Jam. Stop me from going up like a crescendo. This is not a love song. This is “What Tyson Ross has done so far this year” song. That is not as catchy. They don’t play that on KDay. His ERA is at 2.93 after a complete game shutout where he struck out 9 and only allowed 3 baserunners. His K-rate is 8.6, walk rate is 3.2 and xFIP is 3.16. Clap, pause for a sip of Olde E, clap. I paused for a sip of the brew on his walk rate, if you’re uptake is slow. His away ERA is 4.18. Well, you had me convinced you were more than a Hodgepadre there for a moment. Nice trick, Copperfield. Ross is owned in 51% of ESPN leagues, which is stoopid, but since I only own 12,000 ESPN teams to collect some software. Virtual trophies, virtual trophies. I can only do so much. Yes, he should be owned, but he’s a lot safer in Petco. No dur. And I bow. And I just hit my head on my desk. Anyway, here’s what else I saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:

Please, blog, may I have some more?

As I write this, I’m on a plane. I knew I wouldn’t have internet, so I asked myself what data could I pull and play with to help you play with your team. Let me play guarantee fairy again… I’m supposed to be writing about Deep Impact. I guarantee you can use this list to trade away pitchers that are over-performing for long term deep impact while targeting other pitchers that can provide you with more short-term value. Use the comments section below and I’ll scold or virtual high-five your trade offers.

Please, blog, may I have some more?

Wanna really mess with your brain? Think about how you could have the same thing as Guy Pearce in Memento and you would never know. Okay, don’t think about it too long, it’ll mess with your brain too much and then I’m gonna get sued by your loved ones. “Judge, Grey Albright, Fantasy Master Lothario (don’t abbreviate it), told my darling boy, Josh, to think about how he could have a brain dysfunction and now I have to change his diaper and order in for Chinese food every fifteen minutes because he keeps forgetting he just ate.” That’s your momma in front of the judge, suing me. Steve Pearce is a thirty-one-year-old journeyman. That’s not a cartographer, that’s a guy who isn’t very good and just travels around offering his services for all-you-can-drink Gatorade. Yes, he hit two homers yesterday and has hit 9 homers in just two months while batting .336. This isn’t a matter of “Maybe he’s breaking out now.” No, there’s no breaking out for Steve Pearce. He doesn’t even sound right if you don’t say his full name. There’s no Steve and no Pearce. There’s only Steve Pearce and he’s the hottest schmotato in the land and is worth picking up while he’s swinging a hot bat, but I wouldn’t expect it to last that long. Anyway, here’s what else I saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:

Please, blog, may I have some more?