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Gustavo ChacinJhoulys Chacin

A scary scene yesterday for my fantasy team. WHY DOES THE UNIVERSE MOCK ME?! I’m not saying it was Ancient Aliens, but it was Ancient Aliens. Everything was lined up for my success, then Carlos Carrasco was a little too lined up by Melky. I don’t wish ill on anyone, but couldn’t Melky have hit T.J. House. He’s got a solid foundation. He could take the hit. Was this the Fantasy Baseball Overlord and his infinite deviousness? Why is your deviousness so infinite? In a pool of your deviousness, do you have to lifeguard it constantly? Seems dangerous. Ugh, Carrasco? More like Srir-ouch-a, I’m going to get sauced. The Indians are saying Carrasco didn’t suffer a concussion, but we’ll see. This might open a spot for Danny Salazar. I went to grab him in every league, but he was gone already. Then again, Jhoulys Chacin just signed a minor league deal with the Indians, and Salazar was seen riding in the rain, while the song, Just Once, played on the radio as he cried. Anyway, here’s what else I saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:

Please, blog, may I have some more?

This draft was so slow that I lost half my starting rotation before the draft ended. This draft was so slow that when it started Minnie Minoso was still alive. This draft was so slow when it started Tupac was still dead. I didn’t enjoy my time last year in the 15-team NFBC slow draft. I drafted Mark Trumbo, Prince Fielder, Cliff Lee, Anibal Sanchez and Patrick Corbin and my only chance was a big year from Nadir Bupkis, who gave me just that. See, there’s no waivers and the league is 50 rounds deep, so if you’re hit by injuries, you’re done. So, I was talked into doing the league one more time, but knew I had to draft starters early and often, and, of course, prior to the draft even completing I lost Zack Wheeler and Tony Cingrani. Many will disagree with me, but I’m under the firm belief that it’s a lot harder and more fun to win a league like a Razzball Commenter League, than it is to win a super-deep league. With super-deep leagues, if you’re hit by injuries, you’re done. That’s neither fun nor challenging. That’s just shizzy luck. You can say I should’ve known Wheeler and Cingrani weren’t safe, and I’d say to you that neither are any of the pitchers that are healthy all year. They just happened to stay healthy. It’s not like the guy that drafted Alex Cobb is any smarter than the guy who drafted (insert pitcher that is healthy right now that may not be healthy by the time you read this). How’s dem grapes? Sour! Anyway, here’s my 15-team, 5×5, roto, NFBC slow draft team and thoughts:

Please, blog, may I have some more?

Anthony Rendon was cleared for baseball activities, which meant he was able to spit sunflower seeds and adjust his jockstrap with no pain. Then he reported discomfort when he bent his knee. Matt Williams, singing a’la Weird Al, said, “Rendon’s Opening Day is in jeopardy…Baby…Ooh…” Honestly, I feel like I’m in a pickle wrapped in a can’t-win-shituation surrounded by a chimichanga of head scratching with a Mexican saying, “No lo se,” and me saying, “No lose? More like no win, Jose!” We’re still two weeks away from Opening Day and Rendon could be fine by the end of the first week, which means he’ll miss maybe 25 ABs, which is nothing in the big picture. Dock him 3 runs, 2 RBIs and four hits and move on. This could actually be a buying opportunity in drafts if he falls too far. But if he’s downplaying his injury as every player who has been injured does, then he could struggle, hit the DL for a month or two and have a lost season. He never had blazing speed, so I worry that he might not steal with the knee injury or at least not as much in the early part of the year. Therefore, ergo, vis-a-vis I lowered him out of my top 10 and into my top 20 where I’d be more comfortable drafting him. Anyway, here’s what else I saw in spring training for fantasy baseball:

Please, blog, may I have some more?

Per the usual, I have to drop a caveat when it comes to Deep League Thoughts about pitchers: there’s no such thing as a deep league pitcher. Unless you’re talking 20 team leagues and then you’re calling some relievers deep league pitchers. I ain’t going there so let’s realize upfront before you feel affronted. Now that we have that settled, when does a young pitcher settle? Two years? Four years? Do they ever? It’s all hard to predict. As we’ve seen through our years as fantasy baseballers, growth isn’t a promise from a young kid, it’s a possibility. How many rookies came and went on your rosters in 2014 alone? I’m not asking you, Grey. You’d add and drop the same player five times in one day so you don’t count, you chronic rosterbator. That said, I’m sure Trevor Bauer hit your roster more than once. He had some good with some bad in 2014. Maybe you got the bad from him and won’t go near him again. Maybe you had more of the good like I did and you’re willing to look into him a bit further. If so, trudge on with me. We’re about to go deep inside the enigma that is Bauer and what he can do for you for the 2015 Fantasy Baseball season…

Please, blog, may I have some more?

How do you know if you’ve drafted a great pitcher? If his name is Clayton Kershaw or Felix Hernandez, you are on the right track. But what about everyone else that is not them? Well, in head-to-head points leagues, I like to look at points per start (PPS). This gives me an idea of approximately how many puntos (that’s spanish for points) I am going to get, and is often a factor in helping me decide which pitchers to both draft and start.

Please, blog, may I have some more?

A.J. Achter
A.J. Burnett
A.J. Cole
A.J. Ellis
A.J. Griffin
A.J. Murray
A.J. Pierzynski
A.J. Pollock
A.J. Ramos
Aaron Altherr
Aaron Barrett
Aaron Bates
Aaron Blair
Aaron Boone
Aaron Brooks
Aaron Cook
Aaron Crow
Aaron Cunningham
Aaron Dudley
Aaron Harang
Aaron Heilman
Aaron Hicks
Aaron Hill
Aaron Judge
Aaron Laffey
Aaron Loup
Aaron Luna
Aaron Mathews
Aaron Miles
Aaron Northcraft
Aaron Poreda
Aaron Rowand
Aaron Sanchez
Aaron Sele
Aaron Thompson
Aaron Westlake
Abel Nieves
Abraham Almonte
Abraham Nunez
Adalberto Mejia
Adalberto Mendez
Adalberto Santos
Adam Bostick II
Adam Calderone
Adam Carr
Adam Conley
Adam Donachie
Adam Dunn
Adam Duvall
Adam Eaton
Adam Eaton
Adam Everett
Adam Greenberg
Adam Heether
Adam Jones
Adam Kennedy
Adam Kolarek
Adam LaRoche
Adam Liberatore
Adam Lind
Adam Loewen
Adam Melhuse
Adam Melker
Adam Miller
Adam Milligan
Adam Mills
Adam Moore
Adam Morgan
Adam Ottavino
Adam Pettyjohn
Adam Reifer
Adam Rosales
Adam Russell
Adam Stern
Adam Wainwright
Adam Warren
Adam Weisenburger
Adam Wilk
Addison Maruszak
Addison Reed
Addison Russell
Adeiny Hechavarria
Aderlin Rodriguez
Adonis Garcia
Adrian Beltre
Adrian Cardenas
Adrian Gonzalez
Adrian Nieto
Adrian Rosario
Adrian Salcedo
Adrian Sampson
Adron Chambers
Adys Portillo
Akinori Iwamura
Akinori Otsuka
Al Alburquerque
Al Quintana
Al Reyes
Alan Embree
Alan Farina
Alan Johnson
Albert Almora
Albert Cartwright
Albert Pujols
Albert Suarez
Alberto Arias
Alberto Cabrera
Alberto Callaspo
Alberto Castillo
Alberto Gonzalez
Alberto Rosario
Alcides Escobar
Alden Carrithers
Alec Asher
Aledmys Diaz
Alejandro De Aza
Alejandro Machado
Alen Hanson
Alex Avila
Alex Burnett
Alex Castellanos
Alex Cintron
Alex Claudio
Alex Cobb
Alex Colome
Alex Cora
Alex Dickerson
Alex Gonzalez
Alex Gonzalez
Alex Gonzalez
Alex Gordon
Alex Guerrero
Alex Hassan
Alex Hinshaw
Alex Liddi
Alex Meyer
Alex Periard
Alex Presley
Alex Rios
Alex Rodriguez
Alex Romero
Alex Sanabia
Alex Serrano
Alex Torres
Alex White
Alex Wilson
Alex Wood
Alex Yarbrough
Alexander Concepcion
Alexander Smit
Alexei Ramirez
Alexi Amarista
Alexi Casilla
Alexi Ogando
Alfonso Soriano
Alfredo Aceves
Alfredo Amezaga
Alfredo Figaro
Alfredo Lopez
Alfredo Marte
Alfredo Silverio
Alfredo Simon
Ali Solis
Allan de San Miguel
Allan Dykstra
Allen Craig
Allen Webster
Alvin Colina
Amauri Sanit
Amaury Cazana
Amaury Rivas
Anderson Delarosa
Anderson Hernandez
Andre Ethier
Andre Rienzo
Andrelton Simmons
Andres Blanco
Andres Torres
Andrew Albers
Andrew Aplin
Andrew Bailey
Andrew Baldwin
Andrew Bellatti
Andrew Bouchie
Andrew Brackman
Andrew Brown
Andrew Brown
Andrew Burns
Andrew Carignan
Andrew Carpenter
Andrew Carraway
Andrew Cashner
Andrew Chafin
Andrew Dobies
Andrew Dominguez
Andrew Graham
Andrew Gribbin
Andrew Heaney
Andrew Johnston
Andrew Kown
Andrew Lambo
Andrew Locke
Andrew Maggi
Andrew McCutchen
Andrew McKirahan
Andrew Miller
Andrew Oliver
Andrew Romine
Andrew Schugel
Andrew Susac
Andrew Taylor
Andrew Thompson
Andrew Werner
Andruw Jones
Andy Cannizaro
Andy Dirks
Andy Gonzalez
Andy Green
Andy LaRoche
Andy Marte
Andy Mitchell
Andy Parrino
Andy Pettitte
Andy Phillips
Andy Sisco
Andy Sonnanstine
Andy Tracy
Andy Van Hekken
Andy Vasquez
Andy Wilkins
Anel De Los Santos
Aneury Rodriguez
Angel Berroa
Angel Castillo
Angel Castro
Angel Chavez
Angel Guzman
Angel Nesbitt
Angel Pagan
Angel Salome
Angel Sanchez
Angel Sanchez
Angel Villalona
Angelo Songco
Angelys Nina
Anibal Sanchez
Anthony Bass
Anthony Carter
Anthony Claggett
Anthony DeSclafani
Anthony Fernandez
Anthony Gose
Anthony Hewitt
Anthony Huttenlocker
Anthony Lerew
Anthony Norman
Anthony Ortega
Anthony Phillips
Anthony Ranaudo
Anthony Recker
Anthony Rendon
Anthony Reyes
Anthony Rizzo
Anthony Seratelli
Anthony Shawler
Anthony Slama
Anthony Swarzak
Anthony Thomas
Anthony Varvaro
Anthony Vasquez
Antoan Richardson
Antonio Alfonseca
Antonio Bastardo
Antonio DeJesus
Antonio Jimenez
Aquilino Lopez
Aramis Ramirez
Arcenio Leon
Archie Bradley
Argenis Diaz
Argenis Reyes
Ariel Pena
Arismendy Alcantara
Armando Benitez
Armando David Zerpa
Armando Gabino
Armando Galarraga
Armando Reynoso
Armando Rivero
Armando Rodriguez
Arnold Leon
Arodys Vizcaino
Aroldis Chapman
Arquimedes Caminero
Arthur Rhodes
Arturo Lopez
Arturo Reyes
Asdrubal Cabrera
Asher Wojciechowski
Atahualpa Severino
Aubrey Huff
Audry Perez
Audy Ciriaco
Augie Ojeda
Austin Adams
Austin Barnes
Austin Bibens-Dirkx
Austin Fleet
Austin Green
Austin Hedges
Austin Hubbard
Austin Hyatt
Austin Jackson
Austin Kearns
Austin Krum
Austin Nola
Austin Romine
Austin Wates
Austin Wood
Avery Barnes
Avisail Garcia
B.J. Please, blog, may I have some more?

Please, blog, may I have some more?

Manny Machado‘s epitaph: He always found more success throwing a bat at a ball. Better than Salvador Perez’s: Together again! Machado wasn’t just struggling, he was like that friend of yours that not only is having a rotten time at a party, but also sucks the prettiest girls in the room into his sad funk of despair and before long, the girls are like, “I don’t want to go out and get drunk and party and potentially hook up with you. Your friend Manny Machado is too depressed.” The buzz kill friend. Yesterday, Machado went 5-for-6, 2 runs, 2 RBIs with his 8th homer, and fourth homer in his last seven games (skipping the suspension games). About time he listened to your advice, did a body shot off the tummy of the girl that wants to be a physical therapist and cheered up! I don’t own Machado anywhere this year, due to the knee issue coming into the season, but he just turned 22 years old (almost literally; his birthday was Sunday) and I’ll be all over Machado again next year. Of course, if you can acquire him in a trade this year, by all means, which sounds like it was said by Malcolm X’s less militant brother, Bobby X. Anyway, here’s what else I saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:

Please, blog, may I have some more?

What’s the mood, doode? How ya’ feelin’? Why is it all real G’s drop their G’s on their gerunds? G-dropping as non-G’s call it. That keeps me up at night. Failing to rank at first Tyson Ross in my top 100 starters doesn’t. It was a mistake on my part, and I corrected it before we got out of February. I ranked him. Snafu less afu’d than it could’ve been. I still probably didn’t rank him high enough. They have no award for that. Trophies, trophies. This is like Gangsta Deep Thoughts on Def Poetry Jam. Stop me from going up like a crescendo. This is not a love song. This is “What Tyson Ross has done so far this year” song. That is not as catchy. They don’t play that on KDay. His ERA is at 2.93 after a complete game shutout where he struck out 9 and only allowed 3 baserunners. His K-rate is 8.6, walk rate is 3.2 and xFIP is 3.16. Clap, pause for a sip of Olde E, clap. I paused for a sip of the brew on his walk rate, if you’re uptake is slow. His away ERA is 4.18. Well, you had me convinced you were more than a Hodgepadre there for a moment. Nice trick, Copperfield. Ross is owned in 51% of ESPN leagues, which is stoopid, but since I only own 12,000 ESPN teams to collect some software. Virtual trophies, virtual trophies. I can only do so much. Yes, he should be owned, but he’s a lot safer in Petco. No dur. And I bow. And I just hit my head on my desk. Anyway, here’s what else I saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:

Please, blog, may I have some more?

As I write this, I’m on a plane. I knew I wouldn’t have internet, so I asked myself what data could I pull and play with to help you play with your team. Let me play guarantee fairy again… I’m supposed to be writing about Deep Impact. I guarantee you can use this list to trade away pitchers that are over-performing for long term deep impact while targeting other pitchers that can provide you with more short-term value. Use the comments section below and I’ll scold or virtual high-five your trade offers.

Please, blog, may I have some more?

Wanna really mess with your brain? Think about how you could have the same thing as Guy Pearce in Memento and you would never know. Okay, don’t think about it too long, it’ll mess with your brain too much and then I’m gonna get sued by your loved ones. “Judge, Grey Albright, Fantasy Master Lothario (don’t abbreviate it), told my darling boy, Josh, to think about how he could have a brain dysfunction and now I have to change his diaper and order in for Chinese food every fifteen minutes because he keeps forgetting he just ate.” That’s your momma in front of the judge, suing me. Steve Pearce is a thirty-one-year-old journeyman. That’s not a cartographer, that’s a guy who isn’t very good and just travels around offering his services for all-you-can-drink Gatorade. Yes, he hit two homers yesterday and has hit 9 homers in just two months while batting .336. This isn’t a matter of “Maybe he’s breaking out now.” No, there’s no breaking out for Steve Pearce. He doesn’t even sound right if you don’t say his full name. There’s no Steve and no Pearce. There’s only Steve Pearce and he’s the hottest schmotato in the land and is worth picking up while he’s swinging a hot bat, but I wouldn’t expect it to last that long. Anyway, here’s what else I saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:

Please, blog, may I have some more?