If I am correct on my predictions, the NL pennant race will be a fun one. I see three teams with playoff potential, and a fourth that is just shy of it. Sorry San Diego fans, this isn’t your year. [Ed. Note -- JERK!] Good news though, the Chinese calendar says it is going to be the year of the Tony Gwynn soon. [Ed. Note -- I take it back. Sorta.] (You can check out the AL West Spring Training Preview here, the AL Central Spring Training Preview here and the NL East Spring Training Preview here.)Please, blog, may I have some more?
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Last year, I played in my first 15-team NFBC league – a 50-round ‘slow’ draft format where you cannot add any players via free agency or trades. You can only promote players to (and demote players from) your starting roster of 2C/1B/2B/SS/3B/5 OF/CI/MI/UTIL/9 P on Mondays with an additional Friday switch for hitters only.
After playing this format for a year, I think it is the perfect yang for the hyper-frenetic yin that is the Razzball Commenter League format (for sign-ups). I love streaming but there is also something satisfying about winning purely on out-drafting everyone. I like the format enough that we are considering sponsoring a league (or leagues) if there is enough demand from Razzball commenters.
So if you are interested, please enter your e-mail address below. (Note: It’s $150) I will definitely play in one of the leagues – can’t speak for any of the other writers just yet.
NOTE: THIS IS SEPARATE FROM THE RAZZBALL COMMENTER LEAGUE. THAT FORMAT/RULES (12 Team MLB) WILL STAY THE SAME AS LAST YEAR. THERE’S SIGNUPS FOR THAT.Please, blog, may I have some more?
The Mariners trying to bulk up their team is like watching someone dress up their pet monkey in baby clothes. It’s cute. You’re glad they have something they love. Then you realize they’re suffering from postpartum depression and you’re sick of them bothering you with questions about when they should enroll their baby monkey in daycare. That monkey ain’t gonna grow up to be a world famous fantasy baseball blogger like yours truly who uses 100 monkeys on 99 typewriters to write these posts. Someone buy Ling-Ling a typewriter! Similarly, it’s cute the Mariners are dressing up their monkey with new outfielders, especially one that missed all of last year — Corey Hart — and one that even a terrible team didn’t want any part of — Logan Morrison. Corey Hart is committed to wearing sunglasses at night and being ready to go for Opening Day. Let’s see, someone says to you, “I’ll give you millions of dollars if you say you’re healthy and ready to return.” Would you say you’re healthy and ready to return? Yeah, me too. It doesn’t make us or Corey Hart bad people, but it’s a whole lot easier for him to say he’s ready to return than to go out and play 150+ games after a pair of knee surgeries. If he can DH the whole season and stay in the lineup, I could see a 27 homer, 90+ RBI season. The once 20-steal speed isn’t happening anymore. Unless he got a stamp card with those knee surgeries and the fifth one is free. For 2014, I’ll give him the line 72/23/84/.278/3. Morrison also had knee surgery last year, but he’s a lot younger and more prone to saying hashtag. I’m guessing Seattle GM Zduriencik saw Morrison had 363 homers in his four-year career and wanted him bad. Too bad Zduriencik moved his finger down the homer column and accidentally slide to the left and was actually reading his games played. There’s a chance Seattle will push Morrison and Hart to DH/1B and be done with Smoak like the Marlins were done with Morrison, but it’s too early to say. I’m just hoping Seattle trades Brad Miller for Starlin Castro so the Cubs can field a Barney/Miller at middle infield. For 2014, I’ll give Morrison the line 61/17/70/.245. Anyway, here’s some more offseason moves for 2014 fantasy baseball:Please, blog, may I have some more?
The night was humid in San Diego. Some fans in the front row brought their own Chardonnay, a mix of floral and fruity notes, which could’ve also described the crowd’s apparel. Tommy Bahama as far as the eye could see. One Padre fan stood up, three glasses of wine in, screaming to let Templeton play. Most of the fans that night were there for a picnic that was billed as ‘the best picnic mom’s ever packed.’ One thing these picnickers never expected was to become a part of history. Whispers amongst the Padre fans began in the 1st inning. “It was going to be a long night.” Not because of Tim Lincecum, who began his quest to throw the 700th-something no-hitter in the last ten years. Tonight would drag for these Padre fans because the picnic brie was forgotten at home. Tonight these Padre fans groaned in the first inning because when Lincecum took the mound they thought the game was being preempted for a k.d. lang concert. So, Lincecum wasn’t economical in his 148-pitch no-hitter, walking 4 guys and K’ing 13. He’s the first pitcher to throw more pitches in a no-hitter than he weighs. As I mentioned a few weeks ago, Lincecum doesn’t look bad in his peripherals this year. His K-rate and walk rate are pretty close to the numbers he put up when he had a 2.74 ERA in 2011. He didn’t make the top 100 for the 2nd half that is coming tomorrow, but I considered it for a long time (about 25 seconds). The unknown right now is whether or not the 148 pitches is going to tire his arm. Obviously, he’ll have the All-Star break to rest and I wouldn’t be against giving Lincecum a chance on my fantasy team. Anyway, here’s what else I saw this weekend in fantasy baseball:Please, blog, may I have some more?
The only thing more boring than listening to someone talk about their fantasy team is to read a post writing about their hordes of teams.
So feel free to stop reading if you came here for advice vs. updates on our teams. We only ask that if you do read, keep reading after the first couple.Please, blog, may I have some more?
“The Nats Don’t Play,” was almost the title, but that’s too raw for all you suckas. It’s too cutting. It cuts the quick and bleeds ever-so-slightly that irritates you when you cut a lemon for your Arnold Palmer. Y’all can’t hang with my chinchilla fur that I’m wearing in my picture. (It’s just off my shoulder; you can’t see it.) B-Real said it best, “You don’t know where I’m going cause you haven’t been where I’ve been, understand where I’m coming from?” The Nationals know where I’ve been. They’ve dealt with the same thing as me, only they had to pay Zimmerman millions of dollars to get what I got. Which is an ulcer. Thanks, doode! I’ll send you the bill for the Zantac I’ve had to take for the last two years. The Nats called Zimmerman into their office and said, “You only have a hamstring issue, but if it’s anything like the injuries you’ve had in the past that have lasted about 60 days past when they were supposed to, we’re bringing up our best prospect, Anthony Rendon. We’re gonna tell everyone that it’s only for a few weeks while you heal, but we hope you don’t come back until July and we can trade you to the highest bidder. What? No, we don’t validate!” Rendon is gonna be a great one…some day. Damn, the fantasy baseball fortune cookie ending! Yeah, I’m not sure he’s ready just yet, but he’s worth a flyer in all leagues. I grabbed him in one league where I have Moustakas, because I’m tired of seeing that gyro-eating-motherfu– Let’s just say I’m tired of Moustakas. Best case scenario, Zimmerman has a set back and Rendon stays up and hits for a solid average and gives high-teen power with some very light speed. Another scenario, Rendon hits, Zimmerman returns and the Nats gutter ball Espinosa’s value and move Rendon to 2nd. Most likely scenario, Zimmerman returns and Rendon is demoted. Worst case scenario, Rendon shows up at your house at 3 AM and asks to sleep on your couch, seems fine at first then he tells you he has no place to live, stays for months, doesn’t ever flush the toilet or fill up the Tang in the fridge then starts dating your aunt, eventually marries her, making him your uncle, a title he insists you call him. Anyway, here’s what else I saw this weekend in fantasy baseball:Please, blog, may I have some more?
Carlos Ruiz set to return from his suspension next week for testing positive for the ADHD drug, Adderall. He had this to say, “I look forward to getting back on the field–Hey, you ever wax your legs? I don’t mean remove the hair, I mean step into one of those vats of wax they have at carnivals that people put their hands in. It’s really cool! I have a rainbow wax leg! Like I was saying, I foolishly took a drug that is meant for people with ADHD– You think the Fonz can pound the wall to make my iPhone turn on? I dropped it into the toilet. You know, I wish butterflies and cows had babies cause I like butter on my steak. Ruth’s Chris does it right! Adderall is a very serious drug, and it should not be abused– When’s The Voice on? Monday? Is it Monday yet? Now? Now? Now?” So, Ruiz was wrong for taking Adderall as he obviously isn’t afflicted with ADHD. Last year in 114 games, he hit 16 homers and .325 with 4 steals. As of right now, he’s owned in less than 5% of leagues. If you’re struggling at catcher, it’s worth taking a flyer on him now. Anyway, here’s some more players to buy or sell this week in fantasy baseball:Please, blog, may I have some more?
The Cardinals said Edward Mujica ‘could be tried as closer.’ That’s obviously after everyone else has been tried and found guilty of sucking. Matheny said, “I’d rather kill a possum in front of La Russa, than have a lead in the 9th inning with the crap we have.” Okay, that was me reading between the lines. He actually said, “See what happens next time we get there. Right now, Mujica’s making good pitches and getting the big outs when we need them.” He never referred to Mujica as the closer. Maybe because he was afraid of spooking him. How do you scare the beejesus out of a Cardinals reliever? Call them closer. *rim shot, triangle, kazoo* I don’t think Mujica is the de facto closer, but I don’t know what de facto means. Is that Spanish? Hernando De Facto was the first to cross the Mississippi, right? Yesterday, Boggs came into the 9th inning, but it was a 4-run lead and when he got into trouble the Cards started warming up Mujica. The writing is on the wall, and it says, “Mujica is next.” I’d grab Mujica and continue to hold Boggs (on my bench). It may just turn out that Edward is The Last of the Mujica’s in the Cards’ pen. Anyway, here’s what else I saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:Please, blog, may I have some more?
I begin with this:
The scene above is from Wednesday’s Mariners v. Astros game, and I realize that the clip has made the rounds by now. Still, I’m compelled to bring it up because it is truly wonderful. From the leaning grab, to the triumphant hoist and subsequent chug, this man wins the week. It always seems like the most brilliant moments happen at crappy games in empty stadiums, and this is no exception. What a hero.
Oh yeah, two-starters… Week three’s look-ahead is below. As always, probable pitchers are subject to change. For a look at all fantasy baseball streamers, click that link.Please, blog, may I have some more?
Gattis, Gattis, who the eff is Gattis? He wandered the streets asking that exact same question to everyone he came upon. Spiritual advisors, ski instructors, girls who smelled of patchouli and had dreadlocks. WHO THE F IS GATTIS? Because I’m a glutton for punishment and endless catcher questions, here we are again with me recommending a catcher. Evan Gattis, the man who once lived in the adult section of a video store. The man who once dug through Mario Batali’s trash cans for a pair of used Crocs. The man who didn’t remember how he got where he was, but when he was there it sure made him happy. Gattis is like the homeless man on Robertson Blvd., who was drafted by the Royals, but this story has a happy ending.Please, blog, may I have some more?