We here at Deep League Thoughts love things cheap. If the 5 finger discount were legal, we’d be doing it hand over Doug Fister. Over the course of the year, we’re going to keep our eye on the bargain bin FA market, targeting the guys that are less than 5 percent owned and try to sprinkle you with tasty little nuggets of info on these gems. Alright let’s start…sorry, you still have to read…and you have to start a new paragraph to do it. I know, demanding.
Ugh, catchers. Worse, a fairly boring catcher. Worserer? A Mariners catcher. Okay, now that we’ve gotten through the doom and gloom I’m about to rainbow and unicorn the shizz outta Miguel Olivo. Quick player comparison here:
Player A: 25/82/50/1/.215
Player Zed: 19/62/54/6/.224
Ok, so we all know one of these players is Olivo, but which one. Quick! No google cheating! Ok, you probably already knew. The numbers truly aren’t as sexy as the other one but can you tell me who the other catcher is without pulling out your smartphone in class, Grady Sizemore? And could you please stop taking pictures with it while you’re at it? The answer is J.P. Arencibia who for some reason keeps getting the sexy catcher pick vote due to the home runs and that he’s viewed as a ‘safe’ catcher to draft. I’m assuming people think the Jays will be content with another .215 average year because their other catcher is Jeff Mathis. Well, Travis D’Arnaud has plenty to say about that, though we might need a French interpreter to fully understand it. J.P. isn’t halfway out the door, but he’s surely not the Jays future catcher.
I know what you’re going to say, poorly constructed argument to get my point across reader: But the Mariners have Jesus Montero. Yes, the Mariners went straight for the savior in trading away Michael Pineda over the summer. So do you really think they’re going to make a prized hitting prospect don the tools of ignorance much this year? Montero’s value is in his bat and his ability to turn Gatorade and sunflower seeds into beer and chicken in the clubhouse (which makes me wonder if he visited the Red Sox a few times last year). If you want to throw Montero into the daiquiri mix, the Mariners will have three catchers this year with backup John Jaso. To further a pointless analogy that I shouldn’t have started in the first place, Olivo is the rum, Jaso is the lime juice and Jesus is the dallop of delicious sugar syrup. Why would they risk losing Montero’s bat to injury when they have two capable backstops already on the team (see, I told you the analogy was pointless; didn’t even refer back to it)? The moral of this whole thing is don’t drink and catch…I think. No wait, the moral of this is Montero is the team’s DH. He DH’ed game one of the season and he’ll DH most games from here on out. That means there will be plenty of at-bats to go between Olivo and Jaso with Miguel landing the lion’s share. He should be good for a .225 average and 15 HRs. Not rare air here, but not useless in two catcher leagues either. In Fleaflicker leagues, he’s at 7% owned, and, even more egregiously, he’s at 0.8% owned in ESPN. Alright, I’ve almost reached 575 words on a catcher. That definitely is reaching my quota for the year. ONC out!