You know what would be really cool? If you could join a free fantasy baseball league that was against, like, 600 other fantasy baseball teams. But not a 600-person league, where people are trying to figure out who the back-up third baseman is on the Single-A Astros affiliate, Corpus Christi Amscrayers. No, this is a 12-person league designed so you compete against eleven other people in your league, then 60 other leagues of twelve. That would be cool. Oh, wait, we’ve done that. It’s called the Razzball Commenter Leagues, and they’re back, and you don’t even have to be a commenter to join it! For a limited time only, get your loved one a fantasy baseball league! That’s right, your hearts go pitter-patter or you’re dead on the inside (my condolences). Since back in June when you abandoned your fantasy baseball team because it was totally sucking and you returned to your cubbyhole of leftover Chinese food and Teddy Grahams, you’ve longed for this day. As Bob Marley sang, this is your redemption song, mon. Or womon, for our four girl readers. It’s time again to join some fantasy baseball leagues. Before you close all of your extraneous porn windows and rush to sign up, let’s explain how these fantasy baseball leagues are going to work. We’re going to have a bunch of leagues and crown a winner from each, then we’re going to crown ONE winner from all of the winners. We will be crowning the winner by taking each team’s points and multiplying it against a ‘league competitiveness factor.’ If you want to see how it worked last year, go here. So we’re going to fill up as many fantasy leagues as we can for the next seven weeks. Each fantasy baseball league will be a mixed league, 12 team, snake draft, roto, 5×5, 5 OFs, one Middle Infielder, one Corner Infielder, one Utility, 9 pitchers, 20 game eligibility, 180 Games Started max, 1000 IP minimum. Unlike previous years, we will be going with TWO DL SLOTS. The only things you need to change from the default is the 180 Games Started and the TWO DL SLOTS. Please be vigilant about having the exact same league rules and setup as everyone else. The lineup is also known as: C/1B/2B/SS/3B/CI/MI/5 OF/UTIL/9 P/3 BENCH/2 DL with 180 Games Started and 1000 IP minimum. The fantasy leagues will be played in ESPN and they will be free to join.
We’re going to start with twenty-five leagues of 12 and see how we do from there. To join a league… Sorry, again for the people in the back of the room:
TO JOIN A LEAGUE
Click the LINK in the ‘League Link’ column (see below grid) and enter the PASSWORD at ESPN. Emails are there for some leagues, but you shouldn’t need to email anyone.
TO START A LEAGUE
Please create a league in ESPN based on the league rules reference above. Step by step: Hit Create. Then Create ESPN Custom (middle option), Name League, Change to 12 Teams, Restriction Type: None, Open to All Users, Access: change to Private, create Password, leave as Roto and Snake, Make Draft Date and Time, Create. From Default settings all you have to do is change to TWO DL SLOTS and 180 Starts by pitchers. So, you go to ROSTERS and Click “Edit Roster Settings.” There, change to 2 DL Slots and 180 Starts (the counter will change to 20.0 per slot). Then SUBMIT Roster Settings. Finally, Create Your League! (Important Note: Make sure league is viewable to public but requiring a password to avoid non-Razzballers joining.) When that’s finished, click here. You will be permissioned shortly so you can add your league info to the Google Doc (the below grid cannot be edited from this page). On that Google Doc, you will need to enter your name, league link, password and please UPDATE the number of openings as your league fills up. That’s it. Oh, and don’t use your bank account password.
THE BIG PRIZE
I know, you can hardly wait. This year’s winner will receive a walk-on part in the next Scorsese movie. That’s if the winner happens to be Robert De Niro. If the winner is not Robert De Niro, then the winner will receive a brand new hoodie. Not just any hoodie, but one that tells the world, “I only care about fantasy sports. No, I don’t even care about deodorant.” A hoodie so spectacular it forced me to look up the proper spelling of spectacular just so I could describe it. A hoodie that makes men want to be your friend and women want to sleep with you. Or vice versa if you’re one of our four female readers. This hoodie is one-of-a-kind (except for the same hoodie we’ve given away to our football and basketball league winners). A hoodie that Snoop Dogg would be proud to rock. And that man has forgotten more about hoodies than you’ll ever know! Wear it to weddings, funerals or into the shower and tell people you are the 2014 Razzball Commenter League Champion. Okay, now sign up…