This week could end up being a jumbled up mess with the trade deadline, so that is my fair warning salvo. With only a handful of weeks remaining, it is getting to be put up or shut up — or fantasy football prep. I mean, as fun as the drafting is, isn’t it better to finish what you started way back in March. I know the trade deadline may or may not throw monkey wrenches into real life baseball, but we play fake baseball with mythical stallions and our sword is a mouse. I mean, what’s more intimidating than having the ability to right click somebody, I know I just shivered. This time of year is my favorite because it starts to become an all out battle for waiver wire adds and strategy of when to drop. It’s an individual sport, there are no prisoners, so you shouldn’t take any. Now grab that sword, really a mouse, and take your team from third to first. Yes, if you have to and want to ask, I put on blue face paint William Wallace style for that rant. So good luck and happy fantasy baseballin’. (Please keep in mind that pitchers and match-ups change.)
Bronson Arroyo vs SD — Wells
Zach McAllister @ KC — Mendoza
Mike Fiers vs Hou — Lyles
Jeff Karstens vs CHC — Wood
Barry Zito vs NYM — Young
Nate Eovaldi @Atl — Minor
Travis Blackley vs Tor — Cecil
Paul Maholm vs LAD — Kershaw
AJ Griffin (TB vs Price, Tor vs Romero) What’s not to like, I mean, really? Likes pony rides, wears glasses, enjoys a nice glass of grappa. If baseball wasn’t about stats and numbers this guy would make me join a dating website.
Aaron Harang (Ari vs Cahill, CHC vs Garza) Before reading this, bring up a picture of droopy dog, now compare. If laughter doesn’t ensue then I need to stop drinking out of other people’s cups. Home ERA 2.94, road 3.74, any other brain busters for you to think about.
Marco Estrada (Hou vs Norris, @STL vs Lohse) Polo. Those dub-digit K performances are so tantalizing. It’s like buying a home theater system from those guys who pull up next to you in a really suspicious van at the gas station. You want to, but how can you pimp out your man den with a roadside surround sound system?
Mike Leake (@SD vs Volquez, Pit vs Bedard) Freak-A, not to be confused with that horse Flicka, is a personal fav of mine and I don’t care who knows it. He gets Petco and a JV America pitcher, I mean, it could be worse.
Cole De Vries (CHW vs Quintana, @Bos vs Buchholz) Name translates to ” The Freeze”. Personally, I think that is the most awesome thing I have ever heard in my life. Too bad my last name translates into a casual shoe for yachting.
Matt Harvey (@SF vs Lincecum, @SD vs Marquis) Harvey reminds me of that Honeymooner’s episode where they get into a scuffle at the pool hall and the guy goes and gets his friend Harvey. When Harvey showed up, he showed up big time. String of polo ponies are for another thread.
Jeremy Hefner (@SF vs Bumgarner, @SD vs Volquez) Is looking to make a nice spread and quite possibly pull a rabbit or bunny out of his hat. My prediction is this: he pitches well enough to win and the bullpen blows it. That hasn’t happened to the Mets in a dog’s age.
Freddy Garcia (Bal vs Gonzalez, Sea vs Iwakuma) Seems to be getting more chances than Bucky LaGrange. Yankee starter plus these two unrosterables equals you almost clicking add and then changing your mind. Has lowered his ERA by almost 2 in the past month of starts, but do you really need more info to try and add him?
Bud Norris (@Mil vs Estrada, @Atl vs Jurrjens) His girlfriend has to be named Sissy, I mean, in an Urban Cowboy kind of way it would make the most sense. Meet you at Gilley’s for a bull ride and a Lone Star. Is starting to be like the right handed Dirty Sanchez, lots of potential for K’s and a sad feeling of regret upon rostering.
Scott Feldman/Martin Perez (LAA vs Weaver, @KC vs Smith) It could go either way here as Oswalt is coming out of the book depository to start Sunday. Ron Washington said he wouldn’t go to 6-man rotation; no comment when asked what that powder on his nose was though.