The questions have started about Heath Bell getting traded. I think there’s a good chance it happens. Well, Hair Lip, there goes his value! Not so fast, random italicized voice. I guess you have all the answers! Actually, I have questions. What if he’s traded to the Cards or Angels? What if Huston Street gets hurt and the Rockies grab Bell? What if the Mariners gain a few games on the Rangers and become buyers? What if your boss replaces you with a coyote that was raised by humans and can flip burgers better than you? Do you see what I’m saying here? Don’t sell Bell short because of trade rumors. Lots of things can happen.
Please, blog, may I have some more?Monthly Archives: May 2011
Yesterday, Joakim Soria lost the closer job yesterday to Aaron Crow. Yeah, and pigeons fly. Wait, they do. Wait II, The Return of Wait, maybe that makes sense. Yeah, I think it does. Thank you, left side of the brain for working with the right side. Glad you’re talking again. You guys rock! The ax falling on The Mexicutioner was a long time coming. He only had one save in May and had given up 7 runs in 9 1/3 IP. He wasn’t much better in April. In June, he could get the job back. Your deity of choice knows that Aaron Crow isn’t really all that great but he is the guy for right now. Anyway, here’s what else I saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:
Alfonso Soriano – With yesterday’s game with a strained quad. He’ll probably go to the DL by the time you read this, assuming you dinnit stay up to read this at 12:26 AM PST when it was posted. (BTW, Didn’t and I went our separate ways. It’s now dinnit or bust. Don’t, you’re on notice!)
Tony Campana – Yesterday, he had 4 steals (on only one hit!). I’d like to introduce Campana to my right clickie finger that picks players off waivers. In the minors, he showed bonkers speed.
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Remember a little while ago (say, a month) when I told you that if Ryan Madson continued to pitch well, he’d remain the closer upon Jose Contreras’ return? Remember how the comment section called me out about it? Well, Contreras has returned, and Madson’s still the closer.
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While Ed Wade was sleeping off his hangover on Saturday, his Toupee decided to mix things up and actually give Astros fans something to be excited about. (This is excluding Carlos Lee’s riveting chase to be the 83rd player with 350 home runs.) The Astros number one prospect, Jordan Lyles, will take over Wandy’s rotation spot. So the Astros bring up Lyles, but do I Lovett? His K-rate has been pretty poor in Triple-A, but spots his pitches pretty well without overpowering– Burp. Sorry, meant to write gas, not pass it. He’s not worth grabbing in most mixed leagues, but he’s the kind of guy that could be a game changer in NL-Only leagues where waiver wire adds are a mix of yawnstipating and down right atrocious. Anyway, here’s what else I saw this weekend in fantasy baseball:
Wandy Rodriguez – The Wandwagon fell off the tracks and heads to the DL with fluid in his elbow. I wonder if the fluid is acai berry juice, that’s packed with antioxidants! He should implant a straw into his elbow and drink it.
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Don’t look now, but GMs around the league are nearing the unwritten rule of the June 1st prospect call up. Vast majority of GMs, to save a few million if the prospects pans out, wait for the arbitration service time clock to strike midnight before calling their best names up.
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I have come to the revelation that I watch way too many baseball games. On average in a week, I watch roughly 30-40 games. I am always looking for trends or nuisances that will aide, but not abet, my fantasy know how.
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In just under two months at Triple-A (45 games), Brett Lawrie hit 12 homers and stole 10 bases. To put that in context, Dave Winfield hitting against Queen Latifah in the 2003 All-Star Celebrity Softball Game never got past 2nd base, on the field. The Blue Jays GM Alex Snuffaluffagus said, “I’m more excited about (Lawrie) today than I was in April when he was hitting .430.” That makes two of us. Once he’s called up, his 2nd base eligibility makes him instantly startable in just about any league. If that doesn’t excite you, he’ll play 3rd base for Toronto. “Wait, what about playing time? Who’s playing 3rd base now in Toronto?” That’s you talking to yourself while you lick your Dorito-stained fingers. John McDonald, Jayson Nix and Edwin Encarnacion. Don’t worry if you didn’t know that. Sometimes John Farrell even has to call Jayne Nix, Jayson’s mom, before the game and ask to be reminded who his third baseman is. Seems like the easy answer there is yes, Lawrie will play. If he’s called up in the beginning of June, as I anticipate, I’d expect a 15/15 season. That’s pretty terrific for a middle infidel in three-quarters of a season. Now Lawrie’s on your radar, but is he on your team? Snap! Anyway, here’s some more players to buy or sell this week in fantasy baseball:
BUY
Brandon Belt – Just went over my Brandon Belt fantasy. I wrote it while sitting in the Statue of Liberty’s torch thinking about our forefathers.
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Brandon Belt was recalled yesterday in the wake of Buster Posey’s broken fibula — no lie! So far this year, Belt was hitting a cool (shouldn’t it be hot?) .351 with 4 homers and 3 steals in thirty games…If you ignore what he did in the major leagues. Why did he fail in his first go around? Was it bad luck? P to the erhaps. Was it just a small sample size? That’s what she said! Was it the pressure of the call up? Well, filling in for Buster Posey shouldn’t be any pressure. I think it was a combination of all of these things. Bad luck triggers the hitter to press while hanging over them is the fear of a demotion. It’s damaging to the psyche, I tell ya. Don’t worry, I won’t bill you by the hour for this. (I’m really just reading off my Freud day-to-day desk calendar anyway.) In all leagues, grab Belt like Mr.
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B.J. Upton (162-game pace: 88 runs, 24 HRs, 95 RBIs, 25 SBs)
In 2003, Bossman Junior was the 21st ranked prospect in all the land. Before the 2004 season, he rose up to the number two position (behind Joe Mauer). By the end of that season, Upton had played 69 games at AAA, posting a .311/.411/.519 line.
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Last night, Buster Posey was carried off the field after Scott Cousins plowed him over. This was the worst bang-bang play a catcher took in San Francisco since– Okay, you almost drew me into that one, but I’m not going there. It didn’t look good as Posey wasn’t able to put weight on his leg. Everyone’s favorite lox dealer, Eli Whiteside, would take over if the busted Posey misses time. As Eli would say, oy. Anyway, here’s what else I saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:
Mike Minor – 5 2/3 IP, 1 ER, 9 baserunners, 5 Ks. The reason why I haven’t been screaming for you to grab this Minor, besides the fact I’m not Gary Glitter or Jeffrey Jones, is I have no idea the Braves plan for him. I imagine he’s sent back down as soon as Beachy returns. You can pick up Minor, just in case he sticks. I do still have much love for him. Even if he hasn’t returned any of my phone calls, appreciated my unannounced drop-bys or patted my butt when I’ve asked him to.
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