Fantasy Baseball Advice

Texas Rangers 2009 Minor League Review
Overall farm ranking via Baseball America (2009)
2009 (1) | 2008 (4) | 2007 (28) | 2006 (16) | 2005 (16) | 2004 (16)

Record of Major and Minor League Teams
MLB: [85 – 75] AL West
AAA: [69 – 75] Pacific Coast League
AA: [72 – 68] Texas League
A+: [75 – 65] California League
A: [63 – 76] South Atlantic League
A(ss): [37 – 39] Northwest League
R: [25 – 31] Arizona Rookie League

The Run Down
Rounding up the Minor League Review series is the Rangers and their embarrassing amount of pitching prospects. Yes, you read that correctly. Pitching riches, my fellow Razzballers. The Rangers have 19 of their top 30 prospects from the Baseball America Handbook 2010 that are pitchers; 20 of 30 in 2009; and 27 of the 41 graded prospects by John Sickels were also pitchers. Grey went over Smoak’s potential in Friday Morning’s Round-up and here is his Scouting the Unknown. I also ran a follow-up comment in response to commentator Steve’s question, “I’m no baseball technician, which I guess is why I’m asking the question. Are you saying his swing is similar to Utley’s? To my inexpert eyes he hits a home run about as efficiently as it is possible to do so.” My response: “Because I am no scout in the visual sort of terms (I am still learning each day), here is an awesome breakdown of Smoak’s swing. (If you want to compare Smoak’s swing with Utley’s here’s a YouTube video. Then use the swing video from the first link to make comparisons. To me, that seems pretty similar and would deduce that they each have an efficient swing.)

Lastly, the player section is going to be missing Tanner Scheppers. He was just drafted this past year and doesn’t have any stats prior to this season. However, one bit of trivia to note, he was drafted from the St. Paul Saints team – the same team that Daryl Strawberry once played for a long, long, long time ago. (I am sad to say I didn’t go to any Saints games last summer.) He has plenty of health concerns and has a high ceiling. That’s about all I am going to say about him for now. The Rangers also signed two highly-touted international shortstops in Jurickson Profar and Luis Sardinas. There is a lot of hype that the Rangers believe they can be great major league shortstops, however, the majority of the major league clubs were weary of these two players. Next year, let’s return to these names and see how the 2010 season fared for these foreign players.

Arizona Fall League Players – Surprise Rafters
Pitchers – (RHP)Brennan Garr; (RHP) Danny Gutierrez; (LHP) Matt Harrison
Hitters – (C) Doug Hagen; (2B) Marcus Lemon; (1B/OF) Mitch Moreland

Graduating Prospects
#2 (LHP) Derek Holland; #4 (SS) Elvis Andrus; #6 (C) Tyler Teagarden; #9 (OF) Julio Borbon; and #17 (LHP) Tommy Hunter

Players of Interest for 2010
*All prospect rankings are from Baseball America Handbook 2009 unless otherwise noted. Ages are from the 2009 season.

Hitters
#10 Max Ramirez | C | 25 | AAA | 2002 Venezuela | .234/.323/.336 | 274 AB | 18 XBH | 5 HR | .102 ISO | 85:35 K:BB | .324 BABIP | 38.8 GB% | 19.4 LD% | 41.3 FB%
I am sure everyone remembers this name from the 2009-2010 offseason. If not, he was the key piece in the eventually failed trade for Mike Lowell. The talent is legit, the health of Ramirez is starting to become an annual burden, and his age is going to limit his upside sooner rather than later. He has plus-power but plays terrible defense and strikes out far too often. Although Mike Lowell was hurt, Ramirez may soon play himself out of being a valuable trade chip. He is playing at Triple-A to start this year and with Jarrod Saltalamacchia already hurt this year, this may be a chance for him to get an extended look in the majors if he hits, because his defense will never get him to the majors.

Chad Tracy | 1B | 23 | AA | 3rd rd. in 2006 | .279/.333/.488 | 535 AB | 59 XBH | 26 HR | .209 ISO | 103:46 K:BB | .303 BABIP | 35.7 GB% | 19.7 LD% | 44.6 FB%
No, this isn’t the Cubbies’ Chad Tracy. What’s even more embarrassing than being compared to that Chad Tracy, he isn’t even ranked by Baseball America or mentioned by John Sickels. One would assume that is because he isn’t worth the ink on the page, however, when you are playing exactly where your age dictates and hit 26 homers with decent plate discipline, you should get noticed. I am not sure what’s not to like, his batting average on balls in play (.303) shows that he wasn’t exactly lucky nor unlucky. He hits a fair amount of line-drives (19.7%) and displays a fair amount of power (.209 ISO [32 doubles, 1 triple and 26 homers], league average is around .150). He is currently at Triple-A to start this year and annihilating opposing pitchers (.351/.413/.719 in 57 at-bats). Yes, this is a small sample size, and yes, he has struck out ten times (and walked five). Either way, if Smoak stumbles and Chris Davis doesn’t figure things out, Tracy may get the next call. He’ll have his troubles in the majors too.

Pitchers
#5 Martin Perez | LHP | A/AA | 18 | 2007 Venezuela | 9.3 K/9 | 3 BB/9 | 114 2/3 IP | 2.90 ERA | 3.07 FIP | 1.30 WHIP | .4 Hr/9 | 8.7 H/9 | .340 BABIP | 48.5 GB% | 19.4 LD% | 23.9 FB%
Jaw-dropping! Simply amazing. Keith Law ranked him ahead of Smoak AND Feliz! I kept hearing his name all offseason and scoffed that there was so much hype. I told myself, just wait until you talk about the Rangers to make judgment(s). And well, my excitement is higher than Brad Evans on Adderall talking about his current fantasy baseball man crush. Perez throws a 91 to 95 mph fastball, a 1-to-7 curve that he chooses to throw 68 and 81 mph, and potential plus changeup that sits between 78 to 82 mph. He doesn’t light up the gun like Feliz, or drop a curve like Wainwright. However, he does have the potential to be the next Johan Santana according to Baseball America and John Sickels. Huge hype and, well, the talent and numbers don’t lie. He was rocked in his first two starts at Double-A last year, but looked to settle down after a rough beginning. Even with terrible luck (.340 BABIP) he thrived last year. Currently he is pitching at Double-A and if all goes well, he’ll be in Triple-A by the end of the season, if not a September call-up. If you in a long term dynasty league where you can keep everyone (or if you have a few minor league roster spots) lost out on the Chapman and Strasburg hype this year, pick this young man up. Think of a mix between Clayton Kershaw and Johan Santana.

#23 Guillermo Moscoso | RHP | 25 | 20003 Venezuela | 7.7 K/9 | 2.3 BB/9 | 112 1/3 IP | 3.12 ERA | 2.96 FIP | 1.12 WHIP | .2 Hr/9 | 7.8 H/9 | .289 BABIP | 34 GB% | 15.1 LD% | 47.1 FB%
It’s hard to follow Perez, but Moscoso has been hampered by the injury bug in years past. He looks to be an end of the rotation or long relief type pitcher with a low 90′s fastball, a serviceable changeup and a show-me breaking pitch. Nothing special here, but his age limits his ceiling. He is currently at Triple-A. Might be a nice trading chip to someone like the Royals, or depth if one of the Rangers bullpen member gets hurt.

Michael Kirkman | LHP | A+/AA | 22 | 5th rd in 2006 | 7.3 K/9 | 3.8 BB/9 | 144 2/3 IP | 3.48 ERA | 4.34 FIP | 1.36 WHIP | .6 Hr/9 | 8.5 H/9 | .300 BABIP | 43.3 GB% | 15.7 LD% | 35.3 GB%
Received in the Gerald Laird trade to Detroit in the 2008-2009 offseason, he’s often compared to Jeremy Affeldt by the Rangers brass. This isn’t awesome, but it should be worth some merit, especially since Affeldt signed a two year contract extension worth nine million dollars after pitching well in the bullpen for the Giants. Kirkman throws four solid, but not spectacular, pitches that projects him to be a solid bullpen member or a fifth starter. Having quality left-handed pitchers is always a good thing, but we need to curb any enthusiasm with this young man. He finally made it back to being a respectable pitcher after two years of struggling.

Honorable Mentions
Hitters
Mitch Moreland | 1B/RF | A+/AA | 23 | 17th rd in 2007 | .331/.391/.527 | 477 AB | 57 XBH | 16 HR | .196 ISO | 68:44 K:BB | .360 BABIP | 44.2 GB% | 19.9 LD% | 36 FB%
Finally getting some recognition (wasn’t ranked in 2009 by Baseball America, is their #8 ranked prospect for 2010), Moreland is being forced to the outfield with Smoak blocking his way at first base. For the short term, he can play first but is learning right field. He has above-average power, makes frequent adjustments to his game (a sign of a committed and learning player), and good leadership skills. Not the most blessed runner, his speed will hinder his defense in the outfield. His swing is described as “funky” and with “some holes,” which he needs to fix. If his scouting report is to be believed, this should be corrected sooner rather than later. With good plate-discipline and coverage (68 strikeouts to 44 walks), a strong work ethic, and the power to play a corner outfielder, there is every reason to believe that Moreland should be in the majors at some point in 2011. He is currently at Double-A to start the 2010 season.

Eric Morrison | 3B | A/A+/AA | 23 | 46th rd in 2008 | .292/.368/.558 | 353 AB | 53 XBH | 18 HR | .261 ISO | 10/5 SB/CS | 80:31 K:BB | .347 BABIP | 34.9 GB% | 20.9 LD% | 44.2 FB% | Stat are only from Single-A
He is getting the Chad Tracy treatment (see six to eight inches above). I am not as high on Morrison as I am Tracy. Morrison’s season was aided by more luck (.347 BABIP) and he was slightly older than his cohort he was playing against. There is also the high strikeout rate. The more I write about him, the less I like him. He is playing at High-A to start this year and unless he progresses to Double-A, he probably won’t make the cut for next year.

Michael Bianucci | LF | A/A+ | 23 | 8th rd in 2008 | .288/.353/.561 | 458 AB | 62 XBH | 30 HR | .273 ISO | 9/5 SB/CS | 119:38 K:BB | .333 BABIP | 33.7 GB% | 16.6 LD% | 49.7 FB%
See Morrison, except add more power and a more neutral stance on his potential. The power is what makes Bianucci standout but his strikeouts need to come down. He struggled at High-A last year, striking out 69 times in 50 games. Chris Davis anyone?

Pitchers
#19 Kasey Kiker | LHP | AA | 21 | 1st rd, pick 12 in 2006 | 8.6 K/9 | 4.7 BB/9 | 126 IP | 3.86 ERA | 4.00 FIP | 1.38 WHIP | .6 Hr/9 | 7.7 H/9 | .292 BABIP | 39.3 GB% | 14.9 LD% | 38.7 FB%
Possessing a 90 to 93 mph fastball, a mid 70′s curveball with bite and a 79 to 80 mph changeup, Kiker’s ceiling is a number three starter; worst case scenario – power reliever. Doesn’t sound bad, except you don’t want your first round pick being a reliever. He is currently starting games at Double-A this year, but he’ll need to keep his fastball in the nineties all year and not have it tail off into the upper eighties like he did last year if he wants to be a starter long-term.

#7 (KC) Danny Gutierrez | RHP | A+/AA | 22 | 33rd rd in 2005 | 7.8 K/9 | 1.9 BB/9 | 32 1/3 IP | 1.99 ERA | 2.87 FIP | .84 WHIP | .3 Hr/9 | 5.6 H/9 | .216 BABIP | 43 GB% | 19.8 LD% | 34.7 FB%
He’s the Milton Bradley of pitchers. Traded by the Royals because of character issues (legal issues – check (assault and disorderly conduct); pissing off management – check), Gutierrez throws a 91 to 95 mph fastball and a nasty power curve (mph – mid 70′s). He was injured for part of the season last year, but scouts believe his ceiling is Darryl Kile if all breaks right. His fastball tends to be straight, but he has impeccable control of both his offerings.

#20 Wilmer Font | RHP | A | 19 | 2006 Venezuela | 8.7 K/9 | 4.9 BB/9 | 108 1/3 IP | 3.49 ERA | 3.83 FIP | 1.40 WHIP | .3 Hr/9 | 7.7 H/9 | .299 BABIP | 37 GB% | 20.3 LD% | 34.6 FB%
Another Venezuela pipeline product that has produced Elvis Andrus, Marin Perez, Guillermo Moscoso, Max Ramirez, and Luis Sardinas (among others), Font has a fastball that he throws between 93 and 98 mph. His other offerings are works-in-progress, as are his mechanics. As the 2009 season progressed, so did Font’s offerings, work ethic, and pitching (craft, i.e. not just throwing). He’s walk rate (4.9 BB/9) is downright disgusting, his strikeout rate leaves waiting with bated breath to see how his 2010 season ends. He is currently at Single-A to start this year, but could rise quickly.

Alex Trebek, “Nelson Cruz, Josh Hamilton and Ian Kinsler.”  What’s the deal with all of these Rangers having all the upside in the world but not being able to stay healthy?  Alex, “Um, okay, we would’ve also accepted, ‘Who are some Ranger players?’  Oh, and nice mustache.”   Nelson Cruz has hit the DL five times in his short career.  Always with these little niggling injuries.  Shoulder fatigue this, ankle sprain that.  Someone get this guy some HGH.  I’d like to see a rule put into place that every player who has an injury needs to make two phone calls before they’re able to go on the DL.  One phone call to discuss their injury with Cal Ripken.  Another phone call to a Holocaust survivor.  If they can handle the guilt and still think their injury should force them out of action, then so be it.  Nelson Cruz will be out at least two weeks.  Nothing you can do but DL him and try to find a decent replacement.  David Murphy’s a good in-house one.  Though he needs to benched by you and the Rangers vs. lefties.  Anyway, here’s what else I saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:

Brett Anderson – B.A. could miss up to 6 weeks.  So far it’s been a bad week to be listed in the risky pitchers for 2010 post.  Two guys hit the DL, another guy strained his groin.  Hey, there’s my groin… No, wait.  That’s my outie belly button.  Damn, I shouldn’t be straining to find– Ouch! I was pretty hands off with Brett Anderson this year.  As in, there’s Brett Anderson in my drafts and I’m not touching him.  A forearm strain… Shoot, anything with the arm is tricky for a pitcher.  You thought I didn’t want to own him before the injury, guess how I feel about him now.  One hundred sixty pounds! That’s trying to guess my weight, random italicized voice.  Totally my bad! But you’re kinda SOL right now because you can’t sell him for fifty cents on the dollar… Well, I mean you could, but I wouldn’t.  If you were to wait until he returns and pitches well, then traded him.  I could get behind that.

Jorge de la Rosa – The 2nd risky pitcher to make his way to the DL; de la Rosa’s suffering from a torn tendon in his middle finger.  In layman’s terms, this is called a wounded bird.  Rox docs are saying he should only miss a few starts.  I don’t want to yell fire in the theater of Razzball, but this is a similar injury that Wainwright suffered a few years ago and it knocked him out from June 7th, 2008 until August 22nd.  Listen, I don’t even know what to take for an upset stomach, so I’m obviously no doctor, but don’t try and buy de la Rosa on the cheap.

Jhoulys Chacin – Will take over for dlR.  Just went over him yesterday.  Scroll down or click here.  Your options are endless.

Chris Iannetta – Sent to the minors.  I’m in a league where I had him sitting in my catcher slot all year.  I’m also in first place in that league.  I’m telling you, guys and three girl readers.  Your catchers don’t matter.  Just throw someone in there.  In that league, I grabbed John Jaso for s’s and g’s.  Olivo is a great option if he’s out there.

Eric Young Jr. – 2-for-4 as he hit leadoff.  Followed by Fowler, Helton, Tulo and CarGo.  Now that’s a lineup!

Jason Bay – Hit his first homer of the year.  Glad to see Metco can’t hold in his power.  Just severely limit it.

Carlos Santana – He might be up any day now.  At least within the next month.  As I told someone yesterday, look at Wieters’s stats last year.  Look at Wieters’s stats this year –> he has one home run, 6 Runs and 7 RBIs.  What are you hoping to get from Carlos Santana?  A lunch date with Rob Thomas?  If you’re hoping Carlos Santana saves your team, you have a lot bigger fish to fry.  I wouldn’t be surprised to see Carlos Santana get called up and do nothing productive until next July.  Oh, and Santana’s dealing with a knee injury.

Buster Posey – See 1/8 of an inch above.

Clay Buchholz – 8 IP, 1 ER, 9 baserunners, 4 Ks and has a 2.19 ERA on the year.  See little reason why it can’t continue.  Could he be the Red Sox ace this year?  Without a shadow of a doubt.  It’s amazing to me the comments I still get asking if people should pick him up.  Are these one team leagues?  Own Buchholz before you give me an ulcer.

Brandon Wood – Yesterday, I mentioned that Wood has hit in three straight games.  Now it’s four as he went 3-for-4 with a homer.

Austin Kearns – 6 for his last 10 with two homers.  He won’t be good for the whole season, but right now Kearns has the juice.

Dioner Navarro – Suspended for two games for bumping an ump.  Navarro apologized saying the ump kept humming “Been Caught Stealing” and he just lost it.

Jarrod Saltalamacchia – All catchers, all the time on Razzball, huh?  Salty should be bacchia by the end of the week.  If you lost Iannetta, he’s another option I’d look at.

Max Ramirez – I swear, this is the last catcher for today.  If you want, skip down to the next blurb.  No?  Okay, but don’t pout.  That’s for guys who play fantasy golf.  Max Ramirez will actually be covered this afternoon by Stephen.  Coinkydink, huh?  Max Ramirez, who sounds like a Latino-Yiddish fusion chef, was the name bandied about for Mike Lowell this past offseason.  Ramirez has good power but the Rangers might just leave him as a backup to their backstop since his defense is poor.  It’s a sitch that’s worth watching.

Justin Smoak – 1-for-13 since his call up.  Someone needs to take Smoak aside and explain to him that when they wanted him to replace Chris Davis, they wanted his own interpretation not a facsimile.

Frank Francisco – 1 IP, 0 ER and his first save of the year.  “I take back what is mine.  Then I make love to your women,” said Frank-Frank as he entered from the bullpen.  Even money says Frank-Frank is the closer again-again.

Zack Greinke – 7 IP, 0 ER, 6 baserunners, 5 Ks as he was appropriately Greinke’d.

Randy Wolf – 8 IP, 2 ER, 11 baserunners, 4 Ks and a no decision.  Hey, seems like old times.

Trevor Hoffman – 1 IP, 5 ER.  Ouch… Wait, what?  Oh.  Ouch.

Derek Lowe – 5 2/3 IP, 5 ER.  It hurts me soul when I hear people own Lowe.

Ryan Ludwick – 2-for-4, 2 RBIs and his 4th homer as he now bats .303 on the year.  I’ve seen worse 5th outfielders.  Hey, Nate McLousy, that’s you!

Jon Garland – 6 IP, 1 ER, 6 baserunners, 10 Ks.  I don’t buy it.  He’s still a hodgepadre.

Edwin Jackson – 2 1/3 IP, 10 ER.  But just think, if you had drafted him last year, he would’ve been good.

Cody Ross – Missed yesterday’s game with a nighttime, sniffling, sneezing, coughing, aching, stuffy-head fever.  Maybe he’s allergic to the thought of losing his job to Mike Stanton.

Justin Verlander – 5 2/3 IP, 0 ER, 7 baserunners, 7 Ks.  It’s not May yet, but don’t tell Verlander.

Francisco Liriano – 8 IP, 0 ER, 5 baserunners, 10 Ks.  Three weeks ago, I traded Jenks for Liriano and Maybin.  ABtC –> Always Be trading Closers.

Justin Morneau – Left the game with a stiff back.  Might’ve been from trying to catch up with Verlander’s 100 MPH fastball.

Brian Roberts – Still hasn’t started any baseball activities.  No spitting, no ball scratching, no nothing.

Rhyne Hughes – 1-for-4, 1 Run and RBI.  Now has a hit in every game he’s appeared in, but he won’t face lefties, at least for now.

Jim Johnson – Trembley looks at his bullpen and gets the *pinkie to mouth* shakes.  He said the Orioles don’t have a closer.  Johnson’s just a guy who can’t pitch that has appeared in the ninth inning in the past.  Yesterday, Johnson appeared in the 8th.  Giving way for the one, the only…

Alfredo Simon – Yeah, I’m a save whore.  I’ll admit it.  I grabbed him in multiple leagues.  By the time I grabbed him in every league I could, he had two men on and was about to blow the save.  He escaped.  Barely.  During his almost blown save, Jim Palmer said, “I told Simon in spring training just throw to the mitt.  And wear Jockey underwear.”  I added the last part.  Simon’s stuff looked decent from what I saw, but his minor league numbers show a guy who barely has a 5 K/9.  Who throws 90+ MPH and only Ks 5 guys per 9?  The Orioles new closer, that’s who!

Rajai Davis – Sat out because of a slump so Pennington hit leadoff and went 4-for-5 with a homer.  Uh-oh.

Ben Sheets – 4 IP, 8 ER as your A’s got the Sheets.

Inspired by Seattle’s Doug Fister-Adam Moore battery, we’ve compiled a list of pitcher-batter combinations that, at their worst, make us wincingly smile like a corny Jay Leno weddings segment and, at their best, make us laugh like Jay Leno’s audience does at the aforementioned segment.

If you’ve got a got a good one, post it to the comments and we’ll consider adding it to the post (giving you credit).  Here are the rules:

1. Has to be one pitcher and one catcher.  No “If Scott Rolen was a catcher, him and Steve Stone would rock!”
2. Has to include both last names.  Incorporating the first name is optional.
3. A last name can be used only once.  Best one wins.  So if you want to use one with ‘Moore’, you’ll have to find a better one than Fister (which is already at 11).
4. Either the pitcher or catcher would be known by someone who has followed baseball since 1980.  (no submissions with two players from the deadball era.)  Unless it’s really funny…

Current Players

Fister/Moore (Doug Fister + Adam Moore) = The preferred Mariners battery of the Seattle Storm.

Coffey/Teagarden (Todd Coffey + Taylor Teagarden) = Very hospitable to hitters.

Marmol/Laird (Carlos Marmol + Gerald Laird) =  Preserves leads.

Morton/Saltamacchia (Charlie Morton + Jarrod Saltamacchia) = Taste like their fantasy owners’ tears.

Lyon/Treanor (Brandon Lyon + Matt Treanor) = Can handle dangerous situations.

Rzepczynski/Pierzynski (Mark Rzepczynski + A.J. Pierzynski) = Guaranteed will win you the game….of Scrabble (submitted by commenter El Famous Burrito)

Buck/Hunter (John Buck + Tommy Hunter) = Dangerous tandem that will take your head off and mount it when they’re finished (submitted by commented Matt Belanger)

Flores/De La Rosa (Jorge De La Rosa + Jesus Flores) = Seduce umpires to expand their strike zone  (submitted by commenter peter)

Soto/Moyer (Geovanny Soto + Jamie Moyer) = Old but still reigning supreme.  (submitted by commenter swpayton)

Capps/Zaun (Matt Capps + Gregg Zaun) = THIS DUO MAKES HEADLINES! (submitted by commenter DrEasy)

Parker/Posey (Jarrod Parker + Buster Posey) = Well-respected for their pitch selections but prefer to play on smaller, edgier teams vs. big, mainstream teams (submitted by commenter peter).

Current and Historical Players

Manwaring/Colon (Bartolo Colon + Kurt Manwaring) – Smooth operators.

Mlicki/Foote (Dave Mlicki + Barry Foote) – Only Asian batters and A-Rod feel comfortable against this duo.

Daulton/Wade (Cory Wade + Darren Daulton) = The battery to call when your current battery needs to be bounced.  How you like that, Brad Wesley?!

Barbee/Kendall (Dave Barbee + Jason Kendall) = Just toys with hitters.

Berra/Wang (Yogi Berra + Chien-Mien Wang) = Look great but expensive.

Ellis/Eiland (Dave Eiland + A.J. Ellis) = Most accommodating tandem to international hitters.

Maddux/Porter (Greg Maddux + Darrell Porter) = Skilled at making batters want to leave the country.

Ausmus/Mel Wright (Mel Wright/Brad Ausmus) – A tandem that would stink and be comfortable with it.

Watson/McCann (Allen Watson/Brian McCann) – By the time you realize they’re  in the game, it’s already too late.

May/Flowers (Rudy May/Tyler Flowers) – Much like Teixeira, looks ugly in April.  Fine after that.

Wynegar/Duchscherer (Justin Duchscherer + Butch Wynegar) = Perform best when fresh.

Dean/Martin (Dizzy Dean + Russ Martin)  = Perform best when drunk.

Street/Walker (Huston Street + baseball pioneer Moses Fleetwood Walker) = Tandem for hire.

Raschi/Johnson (Vic Raschi + Charles Johnson) = Hung out with Street/Walker too much.

Yeager/Baumann (Frank Baumann + Steve Yeager) = Popular among college kids.

Rivera/Coke (Phil Coke + Mike Rivera) = Popular among late ’70s/early ’80s MLB players, the 1986 Mets and Ron Washington (submitted by commenter Awesomus Maximus)

Russell/Dalrymple (Jeff Russell + Clay Dalrymple) = This battery is about nothing.  Get a good look, Costanza?

Lloyd/Christmas (Graeme Lloyd + Steve Christmas) = Chance of these two coming together?  About a million-to-one.  So I’m telling you there’s a chance…

Nomo/McCarver (Hideo Nomo + Tim McCarver) = The battery I wish Fox would honor.

Bill Lee/Grote (Bill Lee + Jerry Grote) = The battery that cursed the Cubs.

Ferrell/Wolf (Rick Ferrell + Randy Wolf) = Dangerously wild

Savage/Lyons (Jack Savage & Barry Lyons) = Dangerously wilder.  (submitted by commenter Jif & The Choosy Mothers).

LaRue/O’Day (Darren O’Day+ Jason LaRue) = Managers regret putting this duo in.  (submitted by commenter peter)

Gross/Torre (Kevin Gross + Joe Torre) – So instead of applying a foreign substance by using his cap or leg, he would reach down into his _________ for it.

Peavy/Herrmann (Jake Peavy + Ed Herrmann) = Quite the adventure.

Palmer/Gooch (Jim Palmer + Johnny Gooch) = Likes to pick people off at 1st base.

Fingers/Surhoff (Rollie Fingers + BJ Surhoff) = Relieves Palmer/Gooch but removed for Fister/Moore on special occasions.

Leyritz/Carlton (Steve Carlton + Jim Leyritz) = The top-of-the-line battery that Minaya paid for in the Bartolo Colon trade debacle.

Good/Servais (Andy Good + Scott Servais) = They’d clean home plate before each batter and leave a mint on top of it (submitted by commenter swpayton)

Forsch/Shaw (Bob Forsch + Al Shaw) = Very trustworthy.

Pagnozzi/Hunter (Tom Pagnozzi + Catfish Hunter) = These two were inglorious basterds.

Wilcox/Estrada (Milt Wilcox + Johnny Estrada)  = Best when the CHIPs are down.

Mossi/Valle (Don Mossi + Dave Valle) = Sounds like the results would be pretty until you see them up close.

Leonard/Skinner (Dennis Leonard + Joel Skinner) =  Would play for free if signed by the Cardinals, Orioles, Blue Jays, or any team located in Alabama.

Holland/Oates (Al Holland + Johnny Oates) = Watch out other team, they’ll chew you up (submitted by commenter Ana-Jaime)

Gomez/Adams (Mike Adams + Randy Gomez) = Scary duo to face.  (submitted by commenter Ana-Jaime)

Richard/Simmons (J.R. Richard + Ted Simmons) = Even scarier duo to face.

Scott/Towles (Mike Scott + Justin Towles) = This multi-generational Astro battery helps if the game gets messy.

Black/Decker (Bud Black + Steve Decker) = When Scott/Towles isn’t enough.  (submitted by commenter Jay)

Fabregas/Face (Roy Face + Jorge Fabregas) – Painful to watch.

 

Heath/Barr (Jim Barr + Mike Heath) = No one’s first selection but better than nothing.

Odom/Alomar (Blue Moon Odom + Sandy Alomar) = They throw junk that Balbonis wax poetically about.

French/Fry (Luke French + Jerry Fry) = Another unsuccessful duo against Balbonis (submitted by commenter Beer Bum).

Lake/Trout (Steve Lake + Steve Trout) = Popular tandem in Baltimore (submitted by commenter royce!)

Eaton/Napoli (Adam Eaton + Mike Napoli) = When this duo comes in, fughettaboutit (submitted by commenter Awesomus Maximus).

Cox/Porter (Danny Cox + Darrell Porter) =Not afraid to throw the high, hard one.  Pedro Martinez, Juan Marichal, and Jim Palmer are three notable examples.

Gooden/Snyder (Dwight Gooden + Chris Snyder) = It’s coming right down the middle.  (submitted by commenter AZ Bobblehead)

Harden/Long (Rich Harden + Jimmie Long) = Just the type of battery that Pat ‘The Bat’ Burrell would like (submitted by commenter Smell the Glove)

Lilly/White (Ted Lilly + Sammy White) = A battery that Tom Yawkey would’ve loved.

Small/Dickey (Aaron Small + Bill Dickey) = Underwhelming performance.

Gott/Doumit (Jim Gott + Ryan Doumit) = The embodiment of two decades of Pirate performance. (submitted by commenter bostonaccent)

Murphy/Law (Vern Law + Dale Murphy) = Expect anything from balks to catcher interference to grand slams.  (submitted by commenter AZ Bobblehead)

Nova/Scoscia (Ivan Nova + Mike Scoscia) = Best tandem to bring in against Tim Salmon.

Buck/Rogers (Kenny Rogers + John Buck) = Pretty good given that baseball didn’t even exist 500 years ago.  (submitted by commenter peter)

Hancock/Cummings (Sterling Hancock + Jack Cummings) = Best when not brought in to finish a game prematurely.  (submitted by commenter and1mcgee)

Tingley/Pole (Dick Pole + Ron Tingley) = Often precede Hancock/Cummings (submitted by commenter royce!)

Howry/Dooin (Bob Howry + Red Dooin) = Okay if a bit needy  (submitted by commenter Bring Back Pluto).

Bando/Wagner (Billy Wagner + Chris Bando) = Good for a playoff stretch run but untrustworthy during the tough times (submitted by commenter Terrence Mann)

Lemon/Partee (Bob Lemon + Roy Partee) = Brian Sabean’s favorite duo.  Be glad I didn’t link to the real site.  (submitted by Terrence Mann).

Josh Beckett game yesterday was a thing of beauty if you’re into that New Agey art where people smear bodily functions on canvas.  3 IP, 8 ER, 12 baserunners, 3 Ks.  I’m not sure what the most disturbing part of this outing was.  The lack of Ks?  How second nature these terrible starts have become for Beckett?  Or the amount of wood the Jays were getting after seeing Beckett’s pitches? (Pun avoidable, but what the hey?)  I’m not here to crap your house, but in five starts Beckett’s only looked like himself in one of them.  Now that I’ve got you near tears, here’s a big rainbow of Marshmallow Fluff, my emotional friend.  Beckett’s April ERA last year was 7.22, then May was 2.38 followed by a 1.51 in June.  Beckett’s men left on base has been unlucky so far and his K-rate is absurdly low for him.  Unless he heads off to the Disgraceful List, he should turn things around.  I’m not buying at full value, but if you can sneak Red State Jeter away from nervous owners for thirty cents on the dollar, I’d consider it.  Anyway, here’s what else I saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:

Jorge de la Rosa – Was sent for an MRI for a bone bruise on his middle finger.  Hopefully, that’s not the same finger he’ll be giving his owners.  Jhoulys Chacin (which is pronounced like Phoulys but with a J) might get the call if dlR has to miss a start.  Here’s what Stephen said in the Rockies Minor League Review, “Chacin induces ground balls at mind boggling rates. His career ground ball rate (59.2) are similar to Tim Hudson (58.6%), teammate Aaron Cook (57.5%) and Chien-Ming Wang (60.1%). He possesses a mid-90’s fastball with tons of heavy sinking action, a stellar change-up and a so-so curve.  Oh, and I hate Grey’s stupid face!”  Hey, how’d he sneak that past me?  For what it’s Wuertz, I grabbed Chacin in my NL-Only league.

Carlos Gonzalez – 2-for-3, homer, steal and his first walk as he continues to leadoff.  He’s completely miscast in the role.  He’s like George Clooney on Facts of Life.  Let CarGo hit third!

Jason Hammel – 3 IP, 5 ER as he was pulled from the game with a strained right groin.  Hehe… He has two groins.

Chad Qualls – 1 IP, 1 ER and the save as he lowered his ERA to 2.11… Oh, wait, that’s his WHIP.  His ERA is 9.00.

Ian Kinsler – As reported by the Arlington talk radio show, Talker, Texas Ranger, Kinsler will be batting 5th.  More RBIs, less Runs… Oh, just read this.

Nelson Cruz – Left the game with a flare-up of his hamstring injury.  Nelson Cruz is the king of nagging injuries.  To quote Big Head Todd & The Monsters, “It’s bittersweet… More sweet than bitter… Bitter than sweet.  Sweet and bitter.  Bitter and sweet.   Sweet… Bitter…  Bittersweet.”

Neftali Feliz – Has now given up 4 runs in the last 3 appearances, while Frank-Frank has only given up one run since April 11th.  Cust kayin’.

Mike Stanton – Coghlan should better.  His BABIP and line drive rate say he’s been unlucky.  Cody Ross just isn’t very good.  The only one that likes Cody is Kathie Lee.  Either way, Mike Stanton has 9 homers in 17 minor league games and is breathing down their necks.  He’s 7 for his last 8 with 5 homers.  If you thought the rush to grab Smoak was quick, crack your knuckles on your grabby little hands cause Stanton’s going to go just as fast.  Stanton mollywhops with his pony sticks.  Believe that.

Josh Johnson – 9 IP, 1 ER, 4 baserunners, 12 Ks.  After the game, his porn star brother, Gosh Johnson, sprayed the entire team with champagne.  At least, everyone hopes it was champagne.

Octavio Dotel – 1/3 IP, 4 ER.  Kazaam!  I think the Pirates find themselves with a tuxedo and too few times to use it.  I’ll explain.  It’s like when you convince yourself that it’s a good idea to buy a tuxedo for one occasion then you try to shoehorn it into every occasion.  “Listen, dear, if I’m going to bother entering an All You Can Eat Chimichanga Contest, I may as well be dressed well in case there’s press there.”  Dotel is the tuxedo.  Though he’s looked like a tuxedo shirt lately.

Colby Rasmus – 2-for-3, as he hit his 6th homer.  Don’t ya hate it when you target someone in every league, don’t get him by the luck of the draft and then he still does well?  I do.  I miss you, Colby.  Write soon!

Jason Heyward – 0-for-3 as he bats .234.  Now has 24 strikeouts in 64 ABs.  He’s going to be a great one, but he might be a year or two away from that.  Remember, it took Justin Upton almost 500 major league at-bats over the course of two seasons before he exploded last year.

Mat Latos – 2 2/3 IP, 7 ER.  Rule #1:  The hodgepadre should never go near water.  Rule #2:  The hodgepadre should not be exposed to direct light.  Rule #3:  The most important rule.  No matter how much they cry, no matter how much they beg, never, never start them on the road.

Brandon Wood – 3-for-4, and now has hits in three straight games.  Pay attention, it could be the start of something.

Brandon Inge – 2 homers yesterday.  Don’t you love when you pick up a player for only one short schedule day?  Yeah, I did that with Inge.  It’s like I called his shots.  Put me on the phone with Make-A-Wish.  I’m brightening sick kids’ days!  Hopefully, they don’t change the scoring to a triple with an error.

Phil Coke – Has a 1.64 ERA, 3 wins, 3 Holds and the best last name according to Ron Washington.

Felix Hernandez – 7 IP, 2 ER, 10 baserunners, 7 Ks.  I could sit here, and I am indeed sitting — in a prison cell in Singapore — and I could tell you he was outdueled by Ray Davies or whatever his name is, but I’m staying optimistic.  Even when F-Her isn’t electric, he’s more than respectable.  That’s what I like to see.  Now, please let me out of this cell, I promise not to chew gum in public again.

Chone Figgins – 0-for-4, now batting .179.  Haven’t owned Figgy anywhere in about four years, but I figured I’d give him a shot this year since he was getting 2nd base eligibility.  Yeah, that’s working out well.

Carlos Silva – 7 IP, 3 ER, 8 baserunners, 3 Ks.  As frequent commenter, royce!, said, “This Carlos Silva shizz has got to stop.  It’s like the universe is on a crusade to discredit all pitching peripherals.  Seriously, the Fangraphs database is gonna commit virtual seppuku.”

Alcides Escobar – 2-for-5, as he hit his first homer.  Now has more homers than steal attempts.  Any time, doode.

Rickie Weeks – 1-for-5 with 1 Run and 1 RBI as the Brewers scored 17.  Ticker tease!

Roy Halladay – 7 IP, 5 ER, 10 baserunners.  He didn’t look that NLightened last night.

Eli Whiteside – 2-for-3 and his 2nd homer.  Who needs Buster when we’ve got bubelah?

Jonathan Sanchez – 5 IP, 1 ER, 8 baserunners, 6 Ks as he beat Halladay.  Gotta love Sanchez even when he’s a butter WHIP.

While we at Razzball are content toiling within the modest confines of fantasy baseball blogdom, we occasionally like to flex our journalistic muscles and take on a challenging interview.  (Click here for our interview archive.)  Our interview subjects in this post are the director (Stephen Palgon) and star (Jed Latkin) of the recently released documentary Fantasyland (based on the Sam Walker book).

What does fantasy baseball have in common with playing Scrabble and orgasms? If you said, “Things I like to do in front of the computer,” that’s nice (we don’t judge) but not the answer I was looking for. The answer I was looking for is “Things that are a lot more fun to experience than to hear some guy describe his experience.”

So it’s a testament to Sam Walker that his book, Fantasyland, was such an entertaining read. The book chronicled a sports journalist’s experience competing in the renowned Tout Wars expert league and he leveraged his player access to mixed success in fantasy baseball but greater success in crafting an entertaining read. The Jacques Jones segment, in particular, hit me square in the pathos bone (right next to the funny bone).

I was very intrigued when I heard that a documentary based on the book was being made. Did the director have a DeLorean or Cusack-occupied hot tub whereby he could film the scenes from Sam Walker’s book? And, if he did, could he stop by my old apartment and clue me in to not draft Gary Sheffield in 2006?

Alas, the documentary went the ‘inspired by’ route and did an extensive search to find a fantasy baseball (non-expert) fanatic who would get the opportunity to compete in Tout Wars. Below is my interview with Stephen Palgon (director) and Jed Latkin (the star). I also recommend checking out the film which can be streamed for free at Snagfilms for a limited time.

On to the interview (potential spoilers included)…

Rudy: How did this documentary come about? Did you pitch Tout Wars to open up a spot for a ‘non-expert’ as a documentary or did they pitch you?

Stephen: I saw an article online about Sam Walker’s book Fantasyland and was very intrigued by his story and journey in the book. The aspect that interested me the most was that he made playing fantasy a dramatic endeavor that wasn’t solitary. When I read this I thought that it would be a great documentary and from there I contacted the people who had the rights to the book and made my pitch for doing a documentary. We did pitch Tout Wars about the project. There was some initial caution on their part since they had been through the process with the book and some of them had parts of the book that they were not comfortable with.

Rudy: Who was involved in casting Jed? Based on Tout Wars founder Ron Shandler’s reaction, it doesn’t sound like he was part of it.

Stephen: Essentially the production team was involved in the decision and the process. We put out a call and received a great deal of responses. We conducted interviews personally and received tons of submissions via the web or through the mail.

Rudy: Are you a fantasy baseball player yourself? Did this experience increase/decrease your interest in it?

Stephen: I have played some fantasy baseball, but mostly basketball. I am in a fantasy baseball league this year. For a period of time I was in a keeper basketball league, but I think I realized that if I got into it much more that I might’ve gotten really deep into it and I needed to avoid that. So I play but in a more casual way. Playing fantasy baseball is serious time commitment.

Rudy: Sometimes documentaries start as one thing and evolve into another. At what point in the filming did you realize that you were filming Jed’s intervention?

Stephen: I am not sure if we ever thought of it that way and I don’t think Jed would say that he thought of it that way. The main reason for that is because the people around him I don’t believe think he has a problem. I think that’s the biggest issue that I believe Jed’s side has with how some people have reacted to him and the film. His wife Amy happens to be completely supportive of Jed and what he does. The have a relationship and understanding about these things that works for them and it’s not for us to judge it. When the twins were born and Amy talks about fantasy with Jed about twenty minutes* after the kids were born, this is not something we told her to do, she just did it. She supports Jed, roots for him and doesn’t view it as the problem that other people do and I believe his family feels the same way. I think we were seeing Jed as who he is, he doesn’t fake that.

* Note: Twenty minutes talking with a girl about fantasy baseball is nineteen minutes and thirty seconds more than I’ve ever managed. Those thirty seconds were rebutted with “Jeez, if you wanted to break up with me so bad, you could’ve just said so versus torturing me like that.

Rudy: In the Fantasyland book, Sam Walker talks with several of his ‘players’, including a notable sequence where Jacques Jones found out he was due for a regression in the coming year. But Sam Walker was researching a book and is a journalist – so his actions had a certain realistic quality to them. Jed was an ‘Average Joe’ so it’s a bit more incongruous that he’s talking with players. Was there a conscious decision to abandon the ‘Average Joe’ angle for a ‘fantasy fanatic with unlimited travel budget and access to players’ angle?

Stephen: A few things to be clear about, there was not an unlimited travel budget at all and if you remember, Sam Walker spent 60,000 dollars while competing in Tout Wars. I actually disagree with your take on Sam talking to the players vs Jed. Sam and Jed talked to the players to attempt to see what information they could get, but also in both examples, the book and the movie, it was done to make playing fantasy more dramatic as well as entertaining. A book about Sam just playing in Tout Wars and looking at his stats every morning was not going to be as compelling as the one that he wrote extremely well. To me, talking to the players is a vital angle to both pieces. Fantasy sports essentially has people watching games and looking at numbers on a computer. That is not going to make compelling storytelling. It has to be more active than that and we actually took our inspiration from the active way that Sam played fantasy. Another point is that talking to players is not something that only Jed Latkin and Sam Walker have done, other people that play fantasy talk to actual players, general managers, scouts, whatever. There is a desire to find information any way possible. When we received some of the audition submissions people told stories about talking to players and actually Jed had done that several times prior to us ever filming him.

Rudy: In the film, you talked with several players and coaches. Did talking with players net any valuable insights?

Jed: Talking to the players didn’t net as many insights as talking to the coaches did. The players did give some insight on other players but the coaches (not the manager) gave valuable insight into how players were running and swinging. Also the bullpen coach really gave good insight into how the injured pitchers were rehabbing.

Rudy: When talking with the players, had you considered the Heisenberg principle (or at least the modern appropriation of it) which says that observing a phenomenon inevitably alters that phenomenon in some way? Do you realize that you may have led to Verlander’s poor season?

Jed: I like to think I was helping Verlander but judging in how he has pitched so far this year he might be getting hit with the Saberhagen principle — ie he stinks in even years and wins Cy Youngs in the odd years. As for observation, I think it is a key part of evaluation.

Rudy: It appeared that Sam Walker (writer of the book Fantasyland) and Lawr Michaels were two of the more friendly players you competed against. Who were your most and least favorite Tout Wars participants?

Jed: I really got along well with Joe Sheehan and he is now one of my closest friends. I also got along well with Jeff Erickson and Jason Grey although in our initial trade discussion I kept on calling Jason, Jeff. As for least favorite tout that’s a tough one — I think Rick Wilton was the toughest to deal with since he really stuck to the book valuations and would only consider a trade if he was getting the better dollar values.

Rudy: How many leagues are you doing this year? Any preference in format (auction/snake, AL/NL/Mixed, # of teams)?

Jed: I am doing 11 leagues and prefer single league auctions in person with at least 11 to 13 teams.

Rudy: In the documentary, you’re clearly that guy in every league who sends a ton of trade offers. Besides persistence, are there any other tips you can share on what makes for a successful trade?

Jed: Persistence is big but also make an offer that makes sense for the other guy. Analyze the other person’s team and figure out which areas they need the most and then exploit that in your offer. The key is to try and get the better of the deal but also makes sure if makes sense from the other person’s point of view.