This is a moderate Buy. I wanted to find a player that would make you excited to buy, but I also wanted to cover Grady Sizemore. I owed it to you, loyal Razzball reader. So here we are. Grady has NOT (Hey, it’s Caps Night!) been terribly unlucky. I know BABIP makes you say WTF, but I need to go there super quick. His BABIP shows a guy that isn’t that far off from his career mark. His line drive rate is around its norm and his fly ball rate is down. His K-rate is up and his walk rate is down. So to break this down into your Leisure Suit Larry terms, I think he’s pressing (that’s what the walks and Ks are telling me), his average should go up (his line drives), which should help his steals (guessing). There’s got to be some homers in his bat. Guy just doesn’t lose his shizz at 27. Actually, they’re supposed to gain it. I wouldn’t pay more than sixty cents on the dollar, but I would buy Grady. The Indians are despised, according to the Wall Street Journal (that’s real PC there, WSJ), but that doesn’t mean Grady needs to be. Anyway, here’s some more players to Buy or Sell this week in fantasy baseball:
Psyche! Before we get into the post, I wanted to tell everyone I’m in Austin this weekend to attend Rudy’s wedding. I won’t be near a computer for the weekend, so please help each other. You can do it! Now make me proud. Anyway II, here’s the post…
Brandon Wood – I will now attempt to avoid any Wood puns. As I opine… Dah! If you’re hard up… Gah! I give up, grab Wood. Please, blog, may I have some more?
In the first act, some creepy kid runs into frame, mumbling, “I see blown saves.” I know Ryan Madson is a Cuddle Boy, but don’t drop him yet. Sorry to get Biblical on you, but hast thou forgotten the wrath Brad Lidge hast broust on ye past teams? Please. Give Lidge a week before abandoning Madson. Lidge is like a “1000 Dollar Car” as sung by the Bottle Rockets. Google the lyrics if you don’t know the song but in summation, “If a $1000 car was truly worth a damn, then why would anybody ever spend ten grand?” Let shizz shake out first before you act rash, talcum. There’s time to drop Madson. Anyway, here’s what else I saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:
Evan Meek – Recorded the 3 up, 3 down save yesterday as Dotel was out sleeping with your sister. Don’t worry, Dotel’s days of ruining your ERA and WHIP aren’t over yet. Meek was only used because Dotel had pitched two innings the day before (beautifully, I might add). To recap, handcuffs across the Brewers, Pirates and Rangers: Frank-Frank, Meek, Villanueva and the guy at Subway who gives you the skeeves, in that order. Hoffman, Dotel and Feliz, in that order, should all still be owned. Please, blog, may I have some more?
Fantasy Razzball Standings are up! Click here for the standings. We’ve added a link to the left sidebar for the standings page as well. We’ll try to update it every week or so.
Early congrats to Minor League Miner, the unidentified owner of the Flailin’ Mendozas (is that you, Mil Mascaras?), and Troy Patterson of RotoSavants.com and FireBrandAL.com
Good luck to all those in the running for the free DreamMaker Spa! Please, blog, may I have some more?
The Fantasy Roundtable question of the week is:
Despite the tiny sample, what one player are you most worried about so far?
Visit this week’s roundtable @ RotoAuthority to see my answer (which clearly resulted in jinxing Nefty Happy) and others… Please, blog, may I have some more?
Trevor Hoffman has been lights out all year. Maybe he jumped in the Cocoon pool. Octavio Dotel? The post office said they’re going to a five day week because of cutbacks and the amount of fan mail coming in for Dotel. Now hold the preceding up to a mirror. Dotel as a Pirate has done nothing except plunder his fantasy owners’ goodwill. Even Roger ain’t Jolly. The Hoff looks drunk. And Trevor too. The pickups for this duo of dud is Carlos Villanueva, Joel Hanrananananan, Brendan Donnelly, Evan Meek, Hawkins, Coffey, Shelley Duvall, the guy at Subway that kinda skeeves you out, the Polish Sausage in the 7th inning stretch race and Cher. Pick them up in that order. For full disclosure, I grabbed Hanaranananan because Villanueva was taken in all of my leagues. I didn’t go deeper than that. Some shituations just aren’t worth the ulcer. Anyway, here’s what else I saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:
Garrett Jones – 2-for-7, 1 RBI. After his first four at-bats yielded 4 Ks, Robot really turned it on. Fool him 5 times, shame on Robot. Please, blog, may I have some more?
Texas Rangers 2009 Minor League Review
Overall farm ranking via Baseball America (2009)
2009 (1) | 2008 (4) | 2007 (28) | 2006 (16) | 2005 (16) | 2004 (16)
Record of Major and Minor League Teams
MLB: [85 – 75] AL West
AAA: [69 – 75] Pacific Coast League
AA: [72 – 68] Texas League
A+: [75 – 65] California League
A: [63 – 76] South Atlantic League
A(ss): [37 – 39] Northwest League
R: [25 – 31] Arizona Rookie League
The Run Down Please, blog, may I have some more?
Rounding up the Minor League Review series is the Rangers and their embarrassing amount of pitching prospects.
Alex Trebek, “Nelson Cruz, Josh Hamilton and Ian Kinsler.” What’s the deal with all of these Rangers having all the upside in the world but not being able to stay healthy? Alex, “Um, okay, we would’ve also accepted, ‘Who are some Ranger players?’ Oh, and nice mustache.” Nelson Cruz has hit the DL five times in his short career. Always with these little niggling injuries. Shoulder fatigue this, ankle sprain that. Someone get this guy some HGH. I’d like to see a rule put into place that every player who has an injury needs to make two phone calls before they’re able to go on the DL. One phone call to discuss their injury with Cal Ripken. Another phone call to a Holocaust survivor. If they can handle the guilt and still think their injury should force them out of action, then so be it. Nelson Cruz will be out at least two weeks. Nothing you can do but DL him and try to find a decent replacement. David Murphy’s a good in-house one. Though he needs to benched by you and the Rangers vs. Please, blog, may I have some more?
Inspired by Seattle’s Doug Fister-Adam Moore battery, we’ve compiled a list of pitcher-batter combinations that, at their worst, make us wincingly smile like a corny Jay Leno weddings segment and, at their best, make us laugh like Jay Leno’s audience does at the aforementioned segment. Please, blog, may I have some more?
Josh Beckett game yesterday was a thing of beauty if you’re into that New Agey art where people smear bodily functions on canvas. 3 IP, 8 ER, 12 baserunners, 3 Ks. I’m not sure what the most disturbing part of this outing was. The lack of Ks? How second nature these terrible starts have become for Beckett? Or the amount of wood the Jays were getting after seeing Beckett’s pitches? Please, blog, may I have some more?
While we at Razzball are content toiling within the modest confines of fantasy baseball blogdom, we occasionally like to flex our journalistic muscles and take on a challenging interview. (Click here for our interview archive.) Our interview subjects in this post are the director (Stephen Palgon) and star (Jed Latkin) of the recently released documentary Fantasyland (based on the Sam Walker book). Please, blog, may I have some more?